Dudley's Abroad!

Voting

2012-01-22T08:40:00.001+08:00

Today is the day the many in South Carolina have been waiting for….today should be the last day of the ridiculous political ads to be played ad naseum. Oh yeah, today is the day of the South Carolina primary voting which, if you believe the hype, is the day the Republican Presidential candidate will be selected (take that Iowa and New Hampshire!). Of course, they’ll say that SC has picked the candidate in the last number of contests (since 1980). Eventually that will change but for many here there is a sense of pride in this. Now the fact is that this is the 3rd of the contests and that many of the candidates drop out so there are fewer to pick from and therefore the odds swing in our favor (right now it’s a 50-50 chance). But let’s not muddy the water with facts (let’s stick to a debate format, we got this question from Matt in Bumpkinville on our Twitter feed, Matt has an important concern that is on the mind of many Americans during this tough economic time. Matt wants to know why you don’t have a cat. We’ll start with Rep. Ron Paul. “Well, there aren’t any cats mentioned in the Constitution….” [his supporters wearing their aluminum foil hats cheer and walk away from the debate thinking that cats are part of the anti-Ron Paul conspiracy]).

Anyhow, back to the day. Although a Presidential election did not occur during our time abroad, we are very happy to be back in the US take part in one of the roles of an American citizen. It is a privilege to vote and unfortunately many in the US do not feel the need to perform this function. Some, like those convicted of crimes, have forfeited this opportunity but for the remainder….there are very limited excuses that can explain why they did not vote (even those that are “disenfranchised because they have to show a valid state ID in order to vote). When you look around the world, it speaks volumes that so many turn their backs on this opportunity. Voter turnout in the US is well below what it should be and Americans should be ashamed of this fact. We have become fat and lazy and have forgotten the sacrifices that have been made in the past (and are still being made). It’s funny that in China, people believe that life in the US is easy because we have “human rights”. Instead many Americans have taken for granted that voting will always be there and believe that they only need to vote “when it matters”. Sorry folks, but it matters each and every time!

Get out there and make your choice known or shut the heck up! If you don’t vote (and believe me I think there should be some kind of test to keep stupid people from voting but that’s a different post) then don’t complain about the outcome. Don’t tell me my vote doesn’t count because I know when I leave the booth, my guy has one more vote than the other guy.

New Year's Eve

2012-01-08T08:42:00.002+08:00

Since this was our first opportunity in a long time to spend New Year’s Eve with my family, we decided to take the plunge and invite everyone over for the Dudley’s Holiday Bash with Warren Seacrest and Jacob Clark. We planned on lots of food and use the Xbox 360 Kinect for entertainment.

You’ll need some quick background information to help with the story so here’s the Reader’s Digest version (if this were Star Wars, I would call it a prequel but like Star Wars, the later episodes come first). About 2 weeks ago, my parents went to the local Humane Society and brought home a dog (at least that’s what they say it is). They got a short-haired Chihuahua (you ever hear of a long-haired Chihuahua? There is such a thing but when I think of these dogs like many others I think “Yo Quero Taco Bell”.) that is about 14 months old and looks like a small deer. The people at the HS said it was 5 years old and weighed 9 pounds….it’s actually closer to 14 months old and weighs about the same as a small bag of Doritos (Taco Flavored just to keep the theme working). My parents have gone through multiple dogs (just to be clear, the dogs died of old age…we are not Korean…but they were delicious) and after the death of Missy, it appeared that my parents were going to be “dog free”. However, things changed and it was decided that it was time to get another dog. It was a surprise but at least it wasn’t a poodle, I HATE those curly little rats! (It all started when I was five and I went to my grandparent’s house….sorry, I’ve missed my last several sessions with the shrink.). Jacob and Warren accompanied my parents to the Humane Society to pick up the dog and bring it home. It seemed like a very docile animal with none of that small dog “yip-yip” barking. However, the dog also seemed a little skittish (again, we’re not Korean and on that note, do you think Kim Jong Il is in hell right now with dogs chewing on his fat ass? Just a thought.). Anyhow, that’s the background, on to the story.

So, my sister is the first to arrive to help us setup the buffet table. We’ve got ham, spring rolls, samosas, veggies & dip, chicken fingers, buffalo chicken dip, chips, soft drinks, etc. Plenty of food for everyone…in the neighborhood. I was outside slaving over the deep fryer to get the spring rolls & samosas cooked so they would be fresh for the party, the spring rolls are always better when they are hot out of the fryer. At about 6:15 or so, around the corner comes my mom with the little dog in tow. It was sniffing around just like any other dog but became a little spooked when it saw Tammy and I standing there looking at it. Lilly (that’s the dog’s name) continued to check out the yard at the end of the leash but it would look back often to see what we were doing (pay no attention to the people by the deep fryer….and if you were wondering, yes she would easily fit into the fryer). I went over to take the leash from my mom so she could go inside the house since it was starting to get dark and cold outside. When the dog realized that the person connected to the leash was not my mom, it freaked out. It started to pull away from me and squirm. She had on a harness but somehow the dog was managing to free itself from the harness. I realized that the dog was escaping and tried to pull it in and move closer to grab it when it squirmed free. I almost had her but then she was out of the harness and on the loose. I asked my mom to come get the dog when it bolted for the neighboring town houses that were across the four empty lots by the house (the subdivision we are in is still “under construction”)`. I went inside to grab a flashlight and headed back out in the direction I last saw the dog. Warren headed out with me and everyone began to pour out of the house to find Lilly. I saw it in the distance heading behind a house and told Warren to run down the street and cut across the last house to see if he could cut off the escape route (it’s a classic pincer movement Patton used so I figured it would work on a little dog as well). So we’re all running around trying to find this small dog that could run pretty darned fast when she wanted to. We’ve got the cars out with headlights beaming into fields around the house hoping to see where she might have gone. The neighbors are coming outside their houses and we tell them we’re looking for a lost dog. [Editor’s note: Deep down, most people are pretty good about things like this. If you are just running through their yards, you get shot but if you tell them that you’ve lost your dog…they cut you a lot of slack and let you do whatever you need to do. One of my neighbors gave me one of those “deer spotter” spotlights to help find the dog. I gave it back because I wasn’t trying to prevent a ship from crashing against the rocks or send a beacon into space, I was just trying to find a small dog and it was overkill. Still, it was extremely nice for someone we didn’t know to allow us to use their stuff, even for a short time.]
We spent about 30 minutes running around, checking behind houses, walking through the thorn bushes and trying to avoid the electric fence that separates us from the cows when we finally made the tough decision to call off the search for a little while. With all the noise and a skittish dog, we were just as likely to chase her away as lure her closer so perhaps it was better to hunker down. We compared notes and essentially, no one had any idea where the dog went (I heard rustling this way, there are dogs barking over there…). I thought the dog had headed out to the cow pastures behind the house and was probably long gone (as long as she didn’t touch the electric fence). There was little we could do except to hope that someone found her and when they took her to the vet, the microchip that was implanted in the dog would tell them who she belonged to. Of course, New Year’s Eve was a pretty chilly evening and as you know, a Chihuahua isn’t exactly a small version of a Siberian Husky. We went inside and ate the moderately warm food (it was ready on time but the excitement of the dog’s departure pushed dinnertime back a little and tried to figure out what to do next.

We talked about the dog and what we could do but since the dog didn’t really approach anyone except my mom, it seemed destined to be a story with a not so happy ending (unless you like frozen dog, on a stick!). Mom went back out with my nephew and headed up the street in search of the dog. I went upstairs to look out the back window from the second floor to see what I could see around the house. From the other side of the house (the opposite direction where she took off running), around the neighbor’s fence comes this small animal just at the very corner of our lot and barely in the illumination of the floodlight. I thought I was seeing things but it was the dog, Lilly. She was moving just like a deer, the ears were perked up and she was looking all around and moving very cautiously. Then, BAM! She took off again back in the direction from which she had come. I ran downstairs (away in an instant, I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash…) and told everyone I had just seen her but she took off. It turns out that Warren was just stepping out on the back deck when he saw the dog and off it went. We called my nephew and told him to come back to the house (with my mom). So, there was some glimmer of hope as the dog made its way back to the house but the problem was still, how could we catch it since it never came close to anyone and it was so fast.

For the rest of the night, the kids tried to make it fun but there was the hanging cloud of “what would happen to the dog” lingering over our heads. My mom moved the chair next to the back door and was staring into the back yard hoping the dog would come back. We put some ham on a plate and moved her bed outside just to see what would happen. Every once in a while my mom would go outside and call the dog’s name. My dad and I went outside and did our best stealth moves to watch for the dog and see if we could catch her. We were about 15 feet apart, I was by the house and he was in the lot next to the house where we had seen her go back and forth before. I carried a piece of ham to try and lure the dog to me. We could see her, just outside of the lighted area and she would walk slowly up the divide between the lots and then, she would stop and look directly at my father and turn around and go back. We would move slowly towards each other hoping to close the trap when she was within reach. One time, she came within 4-5 feet of my dad and they just kind of stared at each other when she turned again and took off. We turned on the car and had my Mom call for the dog but she would not walk between us. It was looking like she was going to make life difficult on us since she was like a mirage. She was there and then, she was gone again. We went back inside and I continued to watch for the dog out of the window but I didn’t see the dog for a while and figured that the dog was determined to spend the night outside.

At around 10:30, my mom went back outside by herself and went to the edge of the field and called the dog. She carried a piece of ham to help. By this time, the dog had to be very cold and probably tired from all of the running around. I watched from the bedroom as the dog appeared and slowly moved towards her. She would inch closer and my mom didn’t move except to hold out the piece of ham. It was a slow process as the dog would lean forward to get a sniff or try to take a bite of the ham and my mom would pull it closer to her. The tension built as this continued for several minutes and the dog came closer and closer. Finally, the dog was close enough and my mom reached down and grabbed the dog and brought it inside to everyone’s relief. The dog was very cold and my mom wrapped it in a blanket to warm it up. I have to believe that Lilly was as happy to get caught as my mom was relieved to have the dog back. Like I said, it had only been two weeks but it doesn’t take that long for a dog to become part of the family.

It was a good thing because I don’t believe the dog would have survived the night outside. In my mind, I already knew I couldn’t tell my mom that we peeled the dog’s body from the grass in the morning. I was already planning the “little white lies” to keep the legend of Lilly alive.

Mom: Did you find the dog yet?
Me: No, but I have seen her around the neighborhood and the food I put out is gone so I think she is eating. The neighbors have seen her as well and think it will just be a matter of time before she’ll be caught.
Mom: Okay, you let me know when you’ve found her.
Me: No problem, don’t worry I am sure she’ll come around eventually. [Hang up the phone] Now kids, you don’t tell your grandmother that we buried the dog next to the electric fence this morning. If she asks, you tell her you almost caught the dog. Warren, you tell her you tripped over your big feet and Jacob, you tell her that you were playing the Xbox Live and heard your brother tell the story that he almost caught the dog. Don’t worry, we’ll only have to tell this story until she either stops asking or they get another dog (after all, it’s not a lie if you believe it right? But deep down I knew that one of them would crack under cross-examination so I had to prepare the next lie to cover for the first lie. No, I didn’t bury the Lilly, it was a small deer.).

So it didn’t take us waiting up until midnight to have the excitement of the ball drop. For us, it was the dog pickup that made News Year’s Eve worth celebrating

The Dating Game

2012-01-01T03:56:00.003+08:00

In order to keep in touch while we were away on our Chinese odyssey, we used Skype to communicate with friends and family in the US. In China, they have their own Skype type program (of course, they copy everything don’t they?) that they use to communicate with their friends and family, it’s called QQ. It took me awhile to figure out that when they would say “qq” that it was simply two “q’s” (it couldn’t be that simple could it!?!). I would ask them to repeat it and I would be thinking to myself, “How would you spell that?” but then they wrote it down for me (stupid foreigner!) and I could see that it was indeed much simpler than I thought. When I first looked up QQ, I found that it was all in Chinese (duh!) so there would be little use for me to get it but I continued to research and found that there is a QQ International version. So, before I left China, I got myself setup with a QQ Account (you get a 10-digit number for an account name, ask me today and there’s no way I can tell you what my ID number is…maybe the folks from “anonymous” can help me out?). I checked it out and everything worked out without too much fuss. The people at work thought it was funny when they got a QQ message from me testing the system on my computer. Now QQ will not only work for chatting, it also is an e-mail service, it has a game center, personals, and much more (under the watchful eye of the “protectors”, like loving parents to ensure that you are not taken in by those bad influences). Another interesting thing about QQ; in the profile section you can include information like Date of Birth, Gender, Zodiac Sign and Horoscope Sign (Chinese Zodiac) and of course, the ever crucial Blood Type. Yes folks, that’s blood type! Now I don’t know exactly what they would want this information for but if you want to, you can tell everyone that you are O Positive (perhaps the Twilight/Vampire fans understand this?). There is also a second page where you can include more details about yourself (occupation, phone number, # of BMs per day, and so on) if you want to fill in that information. I guess it could be considered a way to encourage people to contact (or not contact) you.

Since I have left China, I have been in communication with my friends still in China through QQ. Every week, I’ll hear from them and find out what they are doing and so forth. It’s pretty interesting to know how things are going for them and just to keep in contact. Without the aid of QQ, I don’t know that I would ever hear from them (or them from me, after all writing a letter is so 70’s). Since QQ is also a mobile app, most have it on their phones and check it regularly (not so in the US, I think there is a QQ App for the iPhone but not for other systems yet). Just like Skype, you can do a video chat using QQ but I know the first time I tried it; there was no sound (3 minute delay while we “improve” the signal). Anyhow, it has turned out to be a nice thing to have in order to keep in touch (just like Skype).

For those with Skype, you know that every once in a while; you’ll get someone who is trolling for contacts. So-and-so wants to add you to his contact list. You’ll look at it and say “Sweetcheeks32, now who is that?” and typically block them and move on (unless you know who the person is on the other end). Sometimes the message, name or profile will try to be alluring in order to gain your attention but it’s not really all that tempting (after all, do you really think she looks like the picture?). This same thing happens with the blog, “people” will post strange comments to try and lure you in (for nefarious purposes) but we delete those comments and move on. Well, I am finding the same is true for QQ. Since I’ve been back in the US, I get 2-3 contact requests every other day (obviously good things are being said about me, I mean if I wasn’t me; I would want to get to know me too.). The funny thing is that every once in a while, there will be something written like you see in the attached image under the Description section.

Helen is looking for a good husband and good daddy for her son (could you please define “good” for me?). What that means could be anyone’s guess but I would assume that Helen is looking for a Sugar Daddy since she has asked for a contact outside of China (if you want to search contacts in QQ, you can do it by Country, State and City and get a complete list of everyone that meets the criteria. You can’t search by name, rather by QQ ID, that 10-digit number I mentioned earlier). She is willing to do whatever it takes to improve her situation, or so it would appear. Our experience in China indicates that some Chinese women will be with much, much older men and so we know how it works (perhaps I am a cynic…just maybe, but I don’t think that this is a May-December romance, it’s a May-December convenience where she spends her time coming up with new, inventive ways of switching his Viagra pills with Ambien and waiting for him to die and leave her all of his money. Picture an I Love Lucy skit played by a Chinese Lucy. “You got some ‘splaining to do” ). We’ve seen these older men with their young wives out at dinner with their child (allegedly) and her parents. The parents are happy to have the grandchild but couldn’t care less about this old fart except when the bill comes along. [Editor’s note, this was something we heard more than once is that when you take a Chinese wife, very often you will also be taking on her parents as well. They may not show up on the honeymoon but the Chinese Frank and Marie Baron are coming to live with you!]. Anyhow, Helen could be a very nice lady who is in a bad situation but think about it…would you actually write this so it can be seen by anyone and everyone? Again, it’s the difference in cultures. The Chinese tend to be a little more blunt or perhaps it could be said that they don’t see the need to filter what they say in many settings. Now it could also be due to the language thing where they use a word that is technically correct but is deemed to be too “harsh” in English. So, they may not even realize that the words or phrases could be seen as insulting (if they say you are fat, guess what….you probably are fat, at least by their standards) or at least very odd to a Westerner. (As an example, a waitress at one place we went to would use a phrase that we were definitely not used to hearing. She would bring the drinks and we would say “Thank you”. Her response “It’s my honor.” Now it was nice to hear but a very strange use of the phrase.)

Now just because I know that you are enthralled by my writing (or you are bored and have nothing better to do), I’ll take this a step further because it seems very strange to me to see a Chinese woman basically throwing out a line for a husband. The female-to-male ratio in China strongly favors the women (and hence it would stand to reason that it should be relatively easy to find a new companion for this woman). I should take a moment to explain that in China a male child, although desired to carry on the family name, is a significant financial burden on the family (I think this is true in all cultures, no such thing as a free kid). Many times I have heard it said that having a daughter means that you can have a better life. Why? It’s because of the traditional expectations for the family of the male child. The family must provide the male child with a place to live after he leaves the house, a car, an education, pay for his wedding and on and on the list goes. In other words, the family of the boy is expected to provide for him whatever the cost. The expectation is that later in life that they will be able to live with him (and his family) when they can no longer take care of themselves (or that is what they hope). The same monetary dynamic is not true for the family with a female child. Since the family of a female child does not have to save cash throughout her life, they can afford to do more things and buy more things. We’ve all heard the stories of the things that are done to ensure a male child in China (stuff that I will not repeat here) but with the number of females in the country, it would appear that attitudes are changing towards having a daughter. This also has major repercussions on dating in the country. The men are in constant competition to find a woman. We watched a show while in China on the dating scene in Shanghai for men and it was not a pretty picture. Not only did men have to compete with other Chinese men for a woman’s attention (and by competing, it was not always about the look, in many cases it was about the size of their…..wallet [what did you think I was going to say pervert]) but they were also in competition with any foreigners living in China. [Editor’s note: This is very similar around Asia; older Western males would go to these countries looking for a younger woman to take as their wife (or nursemaid). It got to the point where the Cambodian government had to issue a law that prevented foreigners over the age of 50 from being married to Cambodian women. There is also a second part to this law that requires the foreigner to have a monthly income of over $2,500 in order to marry a local woman (can you say pre-nup?) I wonder what the local women would get in a divorce settlement…but I digress.] So, problem #1 is the competition. I guess it would be like going to a high school where there were 50 girls and 85 guys and finding a date to the prom. The girls may first want to know who is renting a limo, the size of the limo, where they are going to eat, etc. before making the final decision on whose invitation they would accept. So the “best” guys are taken quickly and the women either choose to accept the 2nd and 3rd tier guys or they don’t go. Either way for the guys, many are going to be left out no matter what they have to offer.

If the guys were really serious about finding someone, they would go on a dating show (I don’t remember the name of it but each Province had their own version of this show). The dating shows on TV would have women judge the man as he was whisked along in front of the audience on a moving sidewalk and given the third degree by the ladies on the panel. It didn’t take much time for these ladies (imagine a panel of American Idol judges but they are a Chinese female version of Simon Cowell with PMS) to be picking the bones from the carcass as the man was given the thumbs down and off he went into oblivion (and typically it came down to the prospects for the man. What did he do for work? How much did he earn? Did he own an apartment? Did he have a car? Did he have a future? The show is called “If you are the one”. One Beijing woman (Ma Nuo) became famous in China for the phrase “I would rather be crying inside a BMW than laughing on your bicycle”. Some hated this woman because she was nothing but a greedy bi-atch but her remarks seemed to reflect the thoughts of many women in these larger cities in China). Combine this with a “one child policy” where each daughter is treated like a princess and you are in for a generation of women with high expectations that no man can meet (except “the Donald”). Not all Chinese women are like this but in the big cities where the money is, that’s where the problem is especially big for the men.

So how did I get here from QQ, I guess for me it’s easy to draw a line between what I see on QQ and what I saw when I was in China. In the US, we call people with 1 car, and only 1 big screen TV below the poverty level but in China (and other Asian countries), when they say “poor”, they mean P-O-O-R. Some will do just about anything to escape the poverty or to try and make their children’s lives better than their own. This is why there is such a competition for schools, jobs, husbands, etc. Helen is just following a path blazed for her by others; find someone who can meet your financial needs and roll the dice.

Merry Christmas (there, I said it)

2011-12-25T01:10:00.001+08:00

It’s time for a soapbox moment (be very afraid). It’s coming up on December 25th again, the time of the year that we call Christmas. However, in an absolute stroke of cowardice many are afraid to offend anyone and therefore we can’t say Merry Christmas anymore. The mere mention of Christmas sends the PC police into a panic as the ACLU marches in (in their brown shirts) to ensure that no one is “left out”. The new definition of diversity means that traditional values are no longer traditional and anyone that is more “enlightened” can dictate how we should bend to the will of the few. Santa….he’s a religious symbol (after all he is called [gasp] Saint Nick isn’t he?). The Christmas tree…it’s now a “holiday tree” (of course you ask yourself “What holiday is it?” In schools it called the Winter Holiday which just happens to coincide with Christmas.). Being from Maine, it’s an absolute embarrassment that their Governor refers to the decorated pine tree as a holiday tree. Isn’t it bad enough that Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe represent the State as RINOs, now we have the Governors going all PC on us (can’t forget about Rhode Island). I guess we are to forget that a decorated pine tree is in fact, a Christmas tree (sorry to disappoint). If they want to create this “holiday tree” I don’t understand why they just can’t use something like a pecan tree (get it…a nut tree), after all if we are to do away with traditions, why not start from scratch (another Festivus miracle!). Not only that but find a new date that doesn’t already have meaning to others.

What is most interesting to us is that in China, people say “Merry Christmas” (and they are not arrested on the spot, no beating with rubber hoses, no stonings, no one correcting them and indicating it’s the winter holiday.). Consider that for a moment. In a country where there is a very small number of Christians (and the Chinese Christians in China go to State-approved churches that are monitored very closely to ensure there is no risk to the State from those attending the services), the stores put up decorations for the Christmas holiday and you see images of Santa all over (in some cases, the Christmas decorations are up for the entire year but that’s a different post). When they see a Westerner this time of year, they will say “Merry Christmas”, not with a sneer, not with a laugh but with a smile…“Merry Christmas”. Just to be sure the point is crystal clear, in a communist nation where the government rules with an iron fist, it’s “Merry Christmas”. In Thailand, where the majority of people are Buddhist, they say “Merry Christmas” (and we know this because we were in Thailand on the beach this time last year….best vacation ever!). So, once again, even where the religious beliefs do not follow the Christian doctrine, they respect the belief enough to say “Merry Christmas”. In the land of the “free and the brave”, we say “Happy Holidays” and hold out hope that we haven’t offended anyone.

Now I am not the most religious person, my faith is a personal thing and I don’t tend to openly discuss it just because I can. People can choose to believe as they see fit, that’s why people are given free choice. It just makes me wonder where Christmas will be by the end of my lifetime. I will continue to say “Merry Christmas” and if you are offended….tough luck (and to all a good night).

Fried over the Fryer

2011-11-21T05:05:00.001+08:00

There are a lot of things we missed while we were in China; one of the biggest was the Thanksgiving holiday. The first year in Suzhou, we went to the dinner at the school (yummy, cafeteria turkey) but the second year we did nothing special for the holiday. Before leaving the US, Thanksgiving was the time where I would get out the turkey fryer and deep fry a turkey. This is one of the “Southern traditions” that we adopted since moving to the South. We had never done this before moving to Georgia and once we tried it, we never went back to cooking the bird in the oven. We tried many different injections and marinades for the turkey but settled on Alton Brown’s brining of the turkey. This is by far the best method we have found to cook a turkey using the deep fryer. We have a “special” relationship with Alton Brown since Tammy and Jacob went to the taping of his turkey special where Jacob made the famous statement “Hey, you know you forgot the stuffing?”. [Editor’s note: Jacob is currently writing his memoirs about his rise to fame and his desire to remain grounded as a middle class kid rather than seek stardom at an early age. What a trooper!]
Anyhow, the turkey fryer we had was old and was damaged to some extent by someone hitting it with the car (I wonder who would do such a thing….I think it was those PETA people). It had some rust (which is not good eats) and before heading to China, the decision was made to “retire” the fryer since it would probably not make the 2 years in storage and still be in useable condition when we came back. With Tammy’s new job at Target (who says there aren't jobs available? She got the job in less than 3 days. Granted it’s not a full time job for $15/hour but a job is a job.), we decided to head out to Target to get a new fryer. We picked up a nice fryer and 6 gallons of no cholesterol frying oil (no cholesterol?!?!) as we prepare for the deep-fried turkey for Thursday. I get it home and start to assemble the fryer to ensure everything works. There’s nothing worse than finding out it is broken while we have turkeys waiting for the 30+ minute soak in the heated, amber whirlpool.
Imagine my surprise when I see pieces that make little sense to me as I pull out the components and start the process. “What’s this thingy? A timer?!?! Aaaarrrggghhhh!!!!! There’s a thermocouple and a timer tied in to the propane gas nozzle. Why? So that a stupid person doesn’t leave the deep fryer unattended for more than 15 minutes. If you do not consistently reset the timer, it will shut off the gas which stops the cooking process. “Are you kidding me?!?!?!?!” This is going a little too far isn’t it? I mean c’mon people. Are we that pathetic that we need the manufacturers to include these things to prevent us from potentially cooking something without being right next to the fryer. Isn’t the purpose of frying a turkey to actually cook it with heat? Now, because some ambulance chasing attorneys have probably made $$$ from these companies, they have tried to prevent people from doing something that could be an issue. Isn’t this America? You mean to tell me that I can’t walk away for more than 15 minutes…..is that right?!?! Granted, I would always remain near the fryer when it was operating (unless I was taking the first turkey out of the fryer and carrying it into the house) so I am responsible when operating the fryer. Just because someone chooses to be irresponsible, does this mean I have to pay the price? What if I am out there for 14 minutes and need to go into the house to check on something, the timer goes off and the fryer turns off by itself. Now I head back out after being in the house for less than 3 minutes and my oil has lost temp and now my turkey is in danger of not being cooked. Now I risk salmonella because some damned fool probably burned his house down or burned himself with a turkey fryer.
All of this for what reason? Think about it for a moment. If you have a gas stove, you could turn on the burner and walk away, blissfully “unaware” that you left the burner on. (I know, I know, no timer….sounds like crazy talk!!!) How is it possible that they overlooked this possibility and didn’t install a timer? Why not on the oven as well? It should shut off after 15 minutes right? Sure, I can’t cook anything unless I can be right there all of the time to reset the timer but that’s the price you pay for safety? Sure the lasagna tastes like crap because the cheese isn’t melted but isn’t it worth the “inconvenience”? I wonder how this could have been overlooked by Maytag, Whirlpool and all of these other companies. Maybe it’s because stoves have been like this for generations and people understand the risks. Folks, you can’t fix stupid. You can try to educate but it’s really up to people if they decide to listen. As long as people can only hurt themselves, then let Darwin’s law take over. Watch an episode of World’s Dumbest and you’ll begin to understand the problem. Adding safety features is okay but let’s not do it at the expense of the actual use of the product. Why not add a timer to cruise control, reset the timer every 15 minutes to ensure the driver remains awake. The fact is that people can use products for many reasons that are not included in the operator’s manual. You can’t stop people from doing stupid things no matter what you do so accept it. Change the legal system to a “loser pays” system and you’ll eliminate all of the stupid lawsuits (like the recent “roaches on a plane” saga where passengers are suing for nearly $1 million because of emotional distress caused by bugs allegedly coming out of the vents…..Oh the humanity!). Start taking away the license to practice from all of the ambulance chasers and things may settle back down. I guess I shouldn’t complain but it’s in my nature. Making things safer is a good thing but people have to be responsible, bottom line, and there’s no switch they can make that ensures this will happen.

The Magic Bus

2011-11-14T08:34:00.004+08:00

When we lived in GA, the kids were driven to the school by Tammy and did not have to take the bus for many years. When we moved to China, the boys had to take the bus to school. Now we all think of school buses as the yellow & black buses with the green, hard-as-a-rock bench seating. This is the type of bus that most of us were accustomed to riding from our youth. It’s amazing that since we were kids, there have been all kinds of improvements in auto technology but the buses did not seem to change as much through the years.

In China, the SSIS (Suzhou-Singapore International School) buses were the Greyhound style tour bus. They had comfortable individual seating for two people per row, per side and seatbelts were available at every seat. It was like the kids were superstars and got chauffeured to school rather than taken to school. I do not know that I ever saw a school bus that resembled the ones in the US, even for the Chinese schools. So the kids became accustomed to their grand mode of transportation to and from school. The drivers were obviously Chinese (what would you expect, Brits named Cadbury?) and seemed to enjoy driving the buses like they were small sports cars that could change lanes in an instant. They drove extremely fast and like any other Chinese driver seemed to think they were the only ones on the road. We didn’t just hear this from the kids, we learned this whenever we went to school and took the bus (when big things happened at the school, like International Family Day, they would setup a bus schedule to pick up families at various points around the city to transport them to the school). I also saw the buses zoom down the highway at high rates of speed when school ended for the day like some kind of restart of a NASCAR race (perhaps they also had nicknames like Smoke). There was one other thing that was different on the bus and that is the presence of an adult female (referred to as the Aiyee) who would monitor the kids getting on and off the bus and converse with the driver. The Aiyee was in charge of keeping the kids under control (if that’s possible) and also would from time to time seemingly berate the bus driver for driving too fast (or whatever, they spoke the local dialect so the kids said that she was dogging the driver but the Chinese tended to speak very loudly so who really knows?).

After two years of becoming accustomed to these coach buses for transportation, the kids return to the US and have to pull back their expectations to ride on the standard US school bus. There was no way that they would be driven to and from school since when we returned back home, we had one car. We’ve noticed that the buses are rarely on schedule and the drivers seem to change fairly frequently. However, this week we had the reality check which reminded us that we we’re not in China anymore. On Jacob’s bus, they had a substitute driver. On the way home, the kids were pretty noisy (shocking, isn’t it?) and the bus driver was giving the kids the “evil eye” in the mirror as she tried to settle down the bus so she could concentrate on driving. Keep in mind; this is a Middle School bus. One of the kids (a disrespectful punk kid) decided to be the smart guy and said loudly to the bus driver “Suck my _____!” (I think you can guess which appendage filled in the blank here). This is when it all went downhill for everyone on the bus. The bus driver stopped the bus and got up from her seat, went back and yelled at the students with some colorful language. Jacob told the story at dinner that the bus driver used the “D” and “F” word as she yelled at the students. Then she turned the bus around and took the kids back to the old Woodmont High School where two police cars were waiting on the bus. The driver got off and spoke to one officer while the other officer got on the bus to talk to the students. Jacob texted Tammy to indicate that they would be home late because the bus turned around (and more information would follow). It was an interesting story to me, as I asked Jacob if he knew the boy that made the statement. He said he did not but I told him that if he ever made such a statement to an adult that he would be punished beyond anything he could imagine.

Now, I do not condone the driver’s actions but in some respect I understand it. The driver was shown total disrespect by a student and allowed her emotions to overrule the situation. However, the student is the problem and should be punished! The driver must also face some kind of discipline for the use of the foul language as well since she is the adult.

It turned out that there was a story on the local news about the situation and the following night, we received a note from the school and found out that the bus driver was fired. One child captured the tirade on his camera phone and once the school saw it, it was all over for the bus driver. Here’s the link to the video, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx46ciWRFsk
Now I don’t fault the school for their action but I also would like to know what they are doing to find the student that sparked this problem. This child needs to learn that being disrespectful has consequences. Unfortunately, this child will probably escape punishment which will re-enforce the notion that he can continue this behavior. It’s very sad to know that a child has been brought up to be like this but it seems to be part of the world now. Many parents do not hold their kids accountable and defend their child regardless of the behavior. “My Johnny would never do that!” This goes to kids of all ages. The other week we were at the school for a concert and a young woman was sitting several rows behind us with her younger friends and decided that being quiet and respectful for the band was not something she could do. Tammy turned around and gave her the “Shhhh. Seriously, you are an adult.” Now, a well-mannered person would perhaps sulk and fume over this but they would shut up. Instead, she continued to make “smart” comments about being told to be quiet. Rather than realize that people were there to hear the band she had to show her high school friends that she was better than us and she just refused to accept that she was wrong. She left at the next intermission but she had to make the grand exit by acting like a spoiled three year old. I kept thinking that her parents probably think she hung the moon. It’s a shame when parents are not parents and this is the result. She’ll eventually get a clue when she finds out that things are not handed to her and then she’ll become disgruntled and blame everyone else for her failings rather than herself. Anyhow, I have strayed from the subject which was the difference in the school bus situation.

The one other thing that is different is the way that the kids talk to adults. It’s one thing to “smart off” to your parents but to an adult you don’t know? That’s completely different. The kids at SSIS were kids but seemed to have respect for adults. Back in the US, kids seem to have the sense of entitlement which allows them to say what they want (or so they think). This is a generalization since not all kids are like that but it seems that this number continues to grow (calling Occupy Wall Street!). We saw many spoiled children in China so this problem that we have encountered is going to be a problem there and bite them in the butt even worse due to the One Child Policy. My only advice to parents….be a parent!

Party Time

2011-11-07T07:06:00.003+08:00

This is an old story but hasn’t been revealed so I will go ahead and post this as I try and backfill the days leading up to the departure from China. We left China with mixed emotions because we enjoyed being there but we also looked forward to being closer to family and becoming part of the “collective” back in the US. For the last several months, we ran the full pendulum of emotions regarding our departure ranging from wanting to just to leave today and get it over with to more of an introspective, subdued mood where we would like to continue to experience life in Suzhou. Either way, regardless of the personal feelings, we were heading back.

The Sunday of my last week, a party was held in my honor (or it could be interpreted as a party to celebrate the departure of the skinny Laiwai “free at last, free at last” but I choose to believe the first option) to celebrate my time in Suzhou. It was held with my Chinese colleagues and friends at work. Obviously, we couldn’t go to Chucky Cheese or Outback Steakhouse so we went to a Chinese restaurant (Bei Men) for the dinner. I had no idea what to expect for the party and although I knew that many people were invited I had no idea how many would actually show up for the meal (although free food usually gets people to show up, regardless of where you live or if they like you or not. Free food AND drinks! Just tell me where and when…the why isn’t so important). When I arrived at the restaurant and was taken to the room where the party was being held I was very surprised to see that 25 people were there (perhaps the food was too good to pass up, sure they have to put up with me but those dumplings are to die for). The room had three large tables with the obligatory lazy susan in the middle of each table. The tables were arranged in a triangle of which I had to sit at the table that was located at the top of the triangle but I also had to sit on top of the triangle, it’s the seat of honor. It was a little unnerving because I’m not much for being the center of attention (sounds strange from a guy that writes about himself in a blog doesn’t it. I’m tired of writing about me, now you write about me for awhile.) but I had little choice. The food was being ordered and I had a quick look at the menu and chose the donkey “skillet”, everything else was chosen by others. I didn’t know what it was but I would have to eat something so hold your nose and pass the plate (let’s get another beer over here kuai yi dian).

Until the food arrived, there was some small talk at the table and a discussion about drinking and driving in China. The penalty for drunk driving in China is 6 months in prison and the loss of your license for 5 years. Now this may seem a bit harsh but the Chinese legal system is pretty darned efficient as a deterrent. Imagine that, caught drinking and driving and you go to prison; do not pass Go, do not collect $200. I think that if this was an automatic sentence in the US, perhaps the number of drunk drivers would diminish. Sure, the prison population might increase when the law takes effect but over time as people realize that you can’t get Johnny Cockroach, attorney at law, to get you off, they would stop. Keep in mind, that’s the first offense…imagine what getting caught a second time gets you. Anyhow, it was interesting to hear about the laws and I also know the German laws for this crime are also pretty harsh (of course in the US, we don’t want to use the word “crime”, we should say that the legalities for the disease are more humane (cough, cough, bull___!). What’s the legal limit in China, 0.08 just like many States in the US. [Editors note: It should also be pointed out that corruption is punishable by death in China. Imagine that! Again, laws should be upheld and the punishment needs to deter future law breakers. Martha Stewart would have made her last prison cell redecorating theme and we’d be rid of her, “you should go out with flair”] There were a few toasts to me early on with just small drinks of the beer as we waited on the food; however things were going to change very soon (as I would find out).

When the food does arrive, they spin it around to be in front of me first (Wheel of Green Stuff, Brown Stuff and other stuff). They wait for me to take some and this still isn’t good enough. I look at it, ask what it is and then put some on my plate but they all watch me and wait. I have to start to eat what I have gotten before anyone else begins to eat. It was a little (a lot) awkward as they sat and watched me but I eventually got the message and grabbed something and stuffed it in my mouth. There were peanuts, sweet lotus root stuffed with rice, cold pumpkin chunks (they ate the whole thing, skin and all…think about all of the “food” we waste at Halloween), a green pile of stuff which was crunchy but I had no idea what it was and many other things, some good and others….not so much.

While the appetizers were being eaten, the people at my table would fill their glass (maybe 6-8 oz) with beer and then fill my glass and offer a “toast”. They never said anything but expected me to drink the full glass with them. O-K-A-Y! This is going to get interesting. They would clap and laugh when I would down my beer and I would grumble something, which made them laugh even more. [In the interest of full disclosure, before I went to the party, Tammy and I went to the Blue Marlin to have a quick beer so I could prepare for the party. I had a .5 liter glass of Erdinger (German beer….excellent, now that is something I really miss) which at the time seemed to be a good idea. Now….not so much.] Even the women were getting into the act. Now they didn’t want the cold beer, they wanted warm beer. I am not sure why but for some reason, they seemed to prefer that. They started doing the drinking with me. First Vicky, then Amy, then Coris (and her 44 kg weight). In very short order, they were determining if I could hang with the big pandas. I was starting to worry as I would need something in my stomach to keep my head about me…seconds from disaster. Then the main courses started to arrive….whew! Disaster averted.

They pretty much left me in peace while I was eating but shortly thereafter, here they come. Individually or in small groups they came around to toast me and drink with me. Everyone had to have a drink with me, didn’t matter who it was or anything, they had to share a drink with me. To make it worse, some weren’t satisfied with just one glass of beer. As soon as that was done, it was refill it and drink again! Aiya! I had thought that this might happen but I really wasn’t prepared as they continued to drink with me. It wasn’t so much the beer, it was the carbonation. After 6 straight glasses of beer being downed in less than 10 seconds, my stomach was about to explode without some serious belching to get rid of the gas buildup. It was about this time that I brought out my camera for photos to see if I could slow the onslaught. The girls took the camera and started to look through the pictures that were still on the camera that included my wife’s “backpacking” adventures in Cambodia (and I am sure that some of those photos made an impression) and then some of Tammy riding one of the brooms in the basement of the apartment complex, “Why is your wife riding a broom?” That one I am sure they didn't get. How do you explain some of the photos….I just didn’t. I just said, “my wife is mentally handicapped, after all she married me.” [Tammy and the boys got a kick out of this story when they looked through the photos and realized the some of the photos probably did leave an impression as they noted the many photos of my wife and her Canadian companions seemed to always include some kind of beverage] Then, the photos started being taken with the groups and me. I went around to each table and took photos with individuals and groups to have more pictures to remember the people that I had come to view as my Chinese family.

The food was pretty darned good but they don’t really eat much meat, more veggies than anything else. It was odd but it meant more donkey for me so I wasn’t complaining. It wasn’t long before they started to bring out the watermelon and fruit plates; which is the typical ending for a meal. When that comes out, it is a signal that your time is up….now get out! We talked a little more and then it was time to wrap up the party and head home. There were some tears (of joy?) shed as it became reality that I was actually leaving. Some had known for months about my upcoming departure but did not believe that it would truly happen. Lina, the only remaining person we had from the initial group of 4 people that were hired to work in the plant. Vicky and Dragon; graduates of a local textile school that were part of the second wave of people hired. Amy, she was in the third group of operators that we hired, she was one of the oldest workers at 32 but she was also one of the best workers we had. Coris, one of our CIT Engineers that I had worked closely with as she worked to achieve her Green Belt. Tony, a Design Engineer that I had been training. Tony seemed to understand the “Western way” and was very quick to take on a task by himself. He wasn’t as hesitant to step out and do a job. His English was excellent and he was a teacher for me about different cultural differences between the US and China. [He previously worked for a Tawainese company before and was surprised to see the “lazy Americans” working with the people to get things done. We got our hands dirty and he didn’t see this at his previous company and had not expected to see it from a Western company. In the Taiwanese company, hierarchy was everything. The office staff ate in a separate lunch room and didn’t associate with the workers except to give them demands. So the American way of working was a surprise and made him believe he had chosen the right company.] Tom, Jackie, Hanbo and John; the four Supervisors that took a lot of grief from me since I had to express myself to them and they would translate for me to the workers. I know they didn’t always translate it exactly how I said it but they said what needed to be said…I think (if nothing else the workers knew how I felt by my reactions to certain situations). Jerry and Leo, the plant engineers that helped me communicate with vendors and contractors. They had a big job and put up with my rants about how things needed to be done. So many others Eden, Katrina, Sky, Ho, Ken, Xia Li, Archer, Gao, Laverne and the list goes on.

It was a good chance to spend a little more time with my co-workers away from the office and have the chance to let them know how I felt about them before I left and visa-versa. It was a huge challenge and risk to take this assignment but I made some good friends that I will remain in contact with for years to come.

US Marine Band

2011-10-30T04:33:00.004+08:00

So we’ve been back and the blogging has stopped since the return. It’s not that I don’t have anything to write, it’s just tough to close out the posts. I have several in the works and just can’t seem to close them out. Some of the posts are old and actually from China so I have a hard time going back in time to get those done but it’s time to stop polishing the apple and put it out there. I’ll get better but it’s going to take a little time to get things rolling again.

Friday night we had the opportunity to go and see The President’s Own United States Marine Band. I have to admit that I have been to a performance of the band in my youth (geek!!!!). When we lived in Eastern PA we went and saw the band perform. My father, a former Marine, heard of the band coming and so we sent away for tickets to the concert. It was a simple exercise, the tickets were free, all you had to do was send in the form and they would mail you the tickets. Originally, we had planned to go as a family but Warren had to be at the football game as part of the marching band. Jacob escaped by going to his friend’s house. So, we were picked up by my parents and headed to Furman University to see the band.

When we arrived, it became apparent very quickly that there must have been a ticket giveaway at the local funeral home (don’t let your loved one pass away without taking advantage of this offer) or AARP meeting because the amount of old people was incredible. Perhaps the “free” cost for the tickets was a good excuse to escape the nursing home? I would say the average age of the audience was probably 60 and I’m pretty sure I say a dark robed figure carrying a large scythe lurking by a tree nearby watching the crowd. It was very odd as we looked around and knew that Tammy and I would be called the “children” by the group. The smell of Ben Gay and other various ointments was thick in the air as we waited outside to be let into the auditorium. I thought Florida was where old people went to die…..I now think its Furman University. They just kept on shuffling around like some kind of odd scary movie, “Zombie Grandparents take over (very slowly)”. I know I should not make fun of the elderly since there will be a day when I hit that age but since I have not yet…they are fair game (otherwise it would be ageism wouldn’t it?). To top it off (pun intended) here come this old gentleman that is bald, however he refuses to concede this point. How do I know? Well, it’s because he had the worst comb-over I’ve ever seen. He had maybe 30-40 hairs that came from the remaining hair he had near his neck and he had them swirly combed around the left side of his head to do the final swoosh at the front of his head. It was like a swirly top comb-over. This group of 30-40 hairs probably was 20” long since it had to reach from the back and then go around the head to the front. It looked ridiculous because he had such little hair everywhere else, the remaining hair he had was about the thickness of an eyebrow so it wasn’t like he didn’t know he was bald (or maybe he needs to change his medication. His doctor needs to be brought up before the medical board and explain what combination of medications provides this hallucinogenic effect.) It didn’t get better for us as the bald man sat directly in front of us in the auditorium and the guy sitting in the row behind us made the comment “look at that bad comb-over”, which made us snicker even more. I can understand the desire to try and keep the belief that you have hair but at some point, reality has to take over. Cut it and be done with it.

The doors open and the crowd moves forward as fast as their walkers would allow. Odd to have so many old people (who are from the generations where respect is engrained) and watch them slowly cut you off to get in front of you as you enter the building. I found the bathroom when we got in so I separated from Tammy and my parents and then had to walk into the auditorium to find them. I had to go for the obvious, look for Tammy’s brown hair in the sea of gray. I was able to find them along the far left wall. So we sat for about 45 minutes waiting for the concert to start watching and listening to the musicians warm up. At 7:15 ticket holders were to be seated and they would open the doors to anyone else left outside that could take up the remaining seats in the auditorium (very slowly). Right around 7:25 they turned the lights down and out came the band to start the performance.

They started with the National Anthem and then went through the performance. Some of the music I recognized from various movies, movies like The Dirty Dozen and of course…Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. When they started to play the tune from Pee Wee’s movie, they had a guy on the xylophone that was excellent. He went to town on the instrument and it was probably the best performance on the xylophone I’ve ever seen (not like I’ve seen that many so it’s not an “expert” opinion but it is a true statement). I still don’t know who the composer is but I don’t think he had Pee Wee Herman in mind when he wrote the piece. Either way, that’s how I’ll remember the piece. They played some other music before the intermission that, for me, was not really good. It didn’t seem to end and it didn’t flow very well. I think that perhaps I am more accustomed to the John Phillips Sousa music with the crashing symbols and quick pace. The Mexican composer music they played, I couldn’t follow and just didn’t like. It reminded me of the Simpsons episode where Homer and Marge are listening to Lisa’s band perform and the ever impatient Homer (who has tickets to see Tuck-A-Saurus) asks Marge “How much longer was Schubert planning on making this piece of junk?”. Of course, I turned to Tammy and asked her the same question. After the 15 minute intermission, they performed some of the hits during WWII with one of the Marines singing the hits tunes like the Andrews Sisters “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B”. Then they went on to another composer that wrote a piece about a walk along the Thames River in England. After listening to that, I wouldn’t want to take that stroll along the river. Finally it was on to another Sousa piece and then homage to all of the branches of the military where they played the anthem for each of the military branches one-by-one. They received a standing ovation and played one extra piece “God Bless America”. I am sure the “Occupy Whine Street” groups would be very offended by the show of patriotism (you know the belief that your country is the land of opportunity rather than the land of the oppressed) but it was appreciated by the crowd in the auditorium.

The President’s Own US Marine Band doesn’t ask for money and aren't hawking CD’s and other memorabilia before, during or after the performance. They are just a group of talented musicians that serve their country in the best way that they can. They hold performances all over the country and are well worth seeing if you get the opportunity. Just don’t be surprised if you go and you see a lot of the senior citizens.

Still Posting

2011-09-08T07:32:00.002+08:00

I know there were those that felt that once we returned to the US that it would be the end for the blog. After all, how can you be “Dudleys Abroad” when you are in the US? I’ll tell you, we are still abroad. According to the dictionary,
a•broad (-brôd) adv. & adj.
1. Out of one's own country.
2. In a foreign country or countries.
3. Away from one's home.
4. In circulation; at large.
5. Covering a large area; widely
6. Not on target; in error.

Of course this doesn’t cover all of the definitions since we all know that broad can also mean a woman (as in, “She is one tough broad”), but I digress. Since we are “in circulation”, we’ll continue to be abroad until such time that we are no longer “in circulation” (which means that we have been cancelled like a stamp, taking the celestial dirt nap, going six feet under…you get the picture).

We have been back in country for almost 2 months now and things have been very hectic. Some things that seem simple in my mind aren’t so simple. Like what? How about buying a cellphone?
Tammy got to upgrade from her poor old jail broken iPhone 3 to the new and improved iPhone 4. This wasn’t much of a decision for her, we went to the AT&T store and she patiently watched me get bamboozled by all of the options while she waited for her turn to pounce on her phone. She has been counting down the days since her iPhone was having issues and could hardly wait to get back to the US and get that upgrade (oh, those wacky Apple people, always jumping on to the new stuff). It wasn’t even a question mark. Me, I have always just had the basic phones all of the time (it’s a phone right?). I may look like a techno-geek (“I want to roll with the gangstas but they all know that I’m white and nerdy”…Weird Al Yankovic) but I’ve never had anything but the basic phone. So, I got schooled in this phone, then this phone and then finally the “smart” phones (all I could think was “is a guy with a bro’stach invited to this party”). The young lady at the store was very nice and patient (as my wife laughed at me) while my head was spinning (I just want a phone…what’s a data plan anyhow?). Well, I ended up with a Blackberry (after all next year is 2012, the end of the world better live it up now). I was a lot leery of this new-fangled, fancy phone but after setting up my e-mail to be retrieved on my phone, it was the right choice. I can now text LMAO in less than 3 minutes with my Blackberry Torch! (Lookout world!) Having the e-mail has saved a lot of headaches and allowed for quick back-n-forth with documents and information, especially in discussions with our realtor & lending agent. I still don’t think I’ve scratched the surface of what it can do but I am on my way to being as tech-savvy as Al Gore (I’ll just have to limit the photo tweets of me in my skivvies).
How is this different than China? Well in China, you purchase a phone and a SIM Card and then pay ahead for minutes. I have noted in a very early blog that the Chinese are very particular about the phone numbers they get and will pay more for a “lucky number”. What is a lucky number….8. Remember, the Beijing Olympics started on August 8, 2008 (8/8/08), not a coincidence. An unlucky number is 4, why? Because it sounds like “si” which means death so many of the Chinese buildings are missing the floors that end with the number 4 (and also 13 because it’s unlucky in the US so they don’t want to take any chances). Once you buy the phone and get the number activated, you pay for the minutes you will use. When you run low, you get a text indicating you have less than ___ RMB remaining on your phone. You go to the store and add more money to the phone and that’s it. There’s no extra plans, no standard costs per month regardless if you make one call or 50 calls. It’s pay for use, but there are some hidden costs. Every time you receive a text, you pay. Guess who you get texts from all of the time….how about the cell phone company. So, basically it’s like a Go phone but you don’t just have the basic models like those phones. People pay for the latest and greatest gadgets and I don’t think I had ever seen so many people so focused on their phones but it is how they communicate. They can’t afford the laptops and such so the phone is the way they use QQ, surf the web, etc.

Let’s see, what else has happened since we got back. Oh yeah, the house. We were in our own version of House Hunters (House Hunters – Redneckville, not quite as popular as House Hunters International but it’s pretty similar but with flannel, coveralls and catfish). Yes, we had to find a place to live. We were currently living with my parents (we put the BOOM in boomrang kids) and as much as they “begged” us to stay (yeah right), we had to find our own place and get ourselves settled back into life in the US. We were lucky that my folks have a large enough house to accommodate us and that I have other siblings that could put us up so it could’ve been worse living in a motel all of that time. We started on July 6th and some 65+ houses later, we finally found a house that we could live with. We’ve been watching these house hunter shows on TLC and stuff and we see everyone goes through the same issues. Everyone wants the perfect house with everything but in the end, it comes down to what can you live without? I wanted a basement for my “man cave” but every house with a basement was in a bad location (either in the boonies or it would’ve doubled as the our safe room while waiting on the cops when the security system was tripped). I also wanted a yard, something where we could have some place for a garden and space between us and our neighbors. Again, a lot of homes with yards but the house was the problem. There was always something that sent us running for the door when we found a yard. [Side note: In the write up for one house, they actually wrote in that the owners shot a deer last year from their porch…now doesn’t that paint a pretty picture?]. We wanted a bonus room and that put a lot of homes out that we looked at. Some had the bonus room but everything else in the house suffered. This is a post in-and-of-itself with all of the different homes we have seen and the condition of some of the houses. It was an eye-opening experience to say the least (and maybe it’s better that I leave it there). It also provided us with a window into what buyers would look for when they walked into our house in GA. Although we did a ton of work on the house, replacing the carpeting throughout, replacing the vinyl flooring and painting…there are still other things that people look at when they walk through a home for the first time. Although the primary reason for the lack of a sale on the house is due to our price, it still doesn’t hurt to know what else people look for when purchasing a home. Our home was in good condition compared to what we saw around (like 3 dog night home where the basement had the enticing aroma of dog pee) but sometimes that isn’t good enough. People are driven by other things besides just the appearance of the home. It’s a lesson that might’ve helped us when putting the house on the market but we can’t change what has been done. Anyhow, we did okay considering we looked for about 1 month and saw over 65 homes. Perhaps you are wondering, “What put this house over the top?” Basically, it came down to schools. We found an IB school (same type as the school the kids went to in Suzhou) and that narrowed the scope to one school district and from that point, finding a house was easy (relatively).

Car. That’s right, we sold both of our vehicles when we left and now we have to replace them. Nothing better than adding back a car payment….YES!!!! Perhaps we would’ve been better served by keeping one vehicle but we didn’t so now we headed back out to find a car. Once again, the most hated professions….Politician (especially now, don’t forget that many are lawyers), Lawyer and Insurance Agent but we can’t forget those loveable car sales people. We experienced the standard bait-and-switch from the professionals at the Kia dealers (one word….sleazy). By the way, what happened to the affordable Kia’s? When we left, Kia was a car that was typically cheaper than other cars for the same size and similar model. Not so anymore, they’ve joined in with everyone else as far as price. We really didn’t like the people there (understatement) so we moved on the Hyundai and found two “good guys” that actually helped us out in the purchase of a car. The salesperson was knowledgeable and showed us the car from front to rear and explained everything in detail. Then came the test drive and pricing. Interesting enough, the manager is from Eagles Landing which is just down the road from Stockbridge. He was experiencing the same issues we were in our house hunt and he wanted to “take care of his people”. We got a good deal and were able to leave feeling good about the car. It has done well in the first weeks of ownership and we hope to drive it into the ground like our other cars.

These have been the big things we have done since our return. The kids have spent a ton of time with their grandparents making up for lost time while we were in China. I think they have now learned that Jacob and Warren can eat (and eat…and eat!). We’ve been busy and are ready for things to settle down a little. Once things settle down, we’ll get back to keeping the blog updated with fresh photos and stories of our departure from China and arrival back in the US.

Back in the States

2011-07-14T04:36:00.003+08:00

I'll keep this brief (and this time, I mean it). We arrived back in the US (mainland, after a brief stay in Hawaii....story coming later) on Tuesday of last week. Since the return we have been very busy with trying to get settled since we nnot only relocated from China but also have to relocate within the US from GA to SC. It may not sound like a big deal but it has been a challenge.

Step 1: Get a phone. We accomplished that by getting phones from AT&T and I now have moved up into the tech-savvy age and have a Blackberry. I don't know what that really means but I can get my e-mail on my phone and browse the web. This has become a real handy feature since coming back to interact with our agent and others in real time. I know you are thinking this is a no brainer but you can't do anything without being able to reach out and touch someone (or visa-versa).

Step 2: Find a house or at least start the search. We found an agent online and have been working with her since we arrived. She was the only agent to really followup with me when I was in China and she seemed to actually want to work for her money. The other agents I contacted paid little attention (like they were swamped with business) or wanted to look outside the guidelines I established as far as costs and size, etc. With places like Zillow.com and Homes.com, the real estate business seems a little easier for us to find information on our own but we still need someone to setup the appointments and work for us. We could contact all of these other agents and agencies but that's a lot of work to do.

Step 3: Find a car. We sold the cars before leaving the US so we had to get some wheels of our own. We had a rental but that wasn't a good, long term option. We went through the typical dealership and got the bait-n-switch stuff but we walked away and found a good dealership and sales person that didn't leave us feeling like we needed to take a shower after leaving. We got a car at a price higher than what we wanted to pay but hopefully it works out for us. It just steals money from our budget for a home.

Unfortunately, finding a house in an alleged "buyers market" isn't so easy. We've looked at over two dozen homes and found that we had issues with almost every one of them. Some of the older homes should be on a TLC remodeling show to demonstrate how to bring a home back to it's original condition. The first house we looked at was of this variety. It had been empty for over a year but it appears the owners left in the middle of the night. There was stuff everywhere (seriously, blankets and personal effects on the walls, and all over) and there was even still food in the kitchen (what had not been rotten or eaten by the rats). It was a disaster that was $50K from being even remotely ready to occupy. Perhaps our expectations were higher but we have had a hard time finding anything that we think would work out for us. We even increased our price range to look at the next tier of homes and found basically nothing. The one house we found seems to be in the bad area of town and is overpriced and probably not a place to have a family due to the crime rates in the immediate area. It didn't appear that bad coming in from one side of the house but the exiting side...that was different.

House hunting is a real pain in the butt and it will continue until we can find something. Keep us in your prayers as we look to find something. We've got a lot of things to post regarding our last days in China, Hawaii, US Airways, etc. but that will come with time. First, we'll get re-acclimated to the US and then we finish off the book on China.

NEWSFLASH!!!

2011-05-30T13:35:00.001+08:00

Today we’ll be revisiting recent blogs to provide you with an update on where things stand (this is a Muppet News Flash)

First, I’ll bet you are all wondering what is happening with my insurance situation. Well pilgrim, I’m glad you asked. It turns out that they cancelled my policy (now isn’t that a kick in the pants). Not only have they cancelled the policy, they did so without even telling me until AFTER the official cancellation date had passed. Isn’t that just swell!?!? The reason, you want their story or the truth (you can’t handle the truth!)? Their reason is that the risk for an unoccupied dwelling is too high and therefore, they have to cancel the policy. Now, the truth is that they cancelled the policy because I didn’t lay down and accept their adjuster’s recommendation. According to the timeline (and I have put together this timeline), the policy was cancelled just about the same time that their adjuster came out to look at the damage to the roof. My guess, he saw the “For Sale” sign in the yard and made his decision about the damage and also communicated with State Farm that the house was empty. Of course, we appealed this and we actually won that one after we sent in a complaint to the GA Insurance Commissioner’s office and contacted the regional director for State Farm. To define win, they reinstated the policy for another two months to allow us time to find a new insurance carrier. They did not back off of the fact that they were no longer going to insure my home. I was going to dump them anyhow (I am breaking up with you) so it’s not a big deal but it’s just another thing that I have to deal with that really should not have happened. Insurance companies are in business to make money so that’s the way the ball bounces. I guess they forget that the money comes from people who have insurance that pay them for the insurance (i.e. me). Somehow it makes sense to them to cancel the policy so I’ll find a new carrier and see where it goes from there.

How about the tattoo thing, how’s that working out? Well, it has been interesting to see the reactions of my Chinese colleagues. Most have really liked it but the funniest part is that two of my colleagues have gotten their own tattoos. Ken got his despite his wife’s disapproval when he asked her about getting one after seeing mine (he said he had always wanted one). He actually went out and got it done. He got one of the small tribal type black tattoos on his upper arm. You wouldn’t know it was there if he didn’t point it out because it is hidden by his shirt sleeve. I think he was inspired to do this when he saw mine and figured that I wasn’t a bad man so he wouldn’t be a bad man either. His wife…..well that’s his problem to deal with because she wasn’t happy anyhow (one small step for man, one giant leap for your wife to remind you of every other day when she does something you hate. When you least expect it, I make you pay.). Another female colleague got a star on her right shoulder blade area. It looked really good; she actually showed it to me first before anyone else could see it. In both cases, they surprised me more with how they treat the tattoo than the fact that they actually got a tattoo. They are told not to wash the area and leave it alone for a week before they can wash it again. This is totally different than what I had to do after I got the tattoo. I washed it with soap and let it air dry, then I applied the antibacterial ointment on the tattoo. After it had a few moments to dry, I wrapped the tattoo in plastic wrap (use Glad Cling Wrap to keep your chicken arm fresh) to keep it from sticking to clothing while drying & healing. At night, I would come home, wash the tattoo and let it air dry and then wrap it again before bedtime. I had to do this for a week to keep the area from getting infected. They seem to just let it heal without any treatment, something I would never have let happen. When Ken showed me his tattoo on Thursday, it was looking pretty rough. It definitely wasn’t healing the way I thought it should but what do I know (my experience is two tattoos, the Chinese built the Great Wall so they must understand the tattoo). I told him to put some medicine on it to prevent infection and it would be fine (I hope). It’s strange, people will wear masks over here to keep from getting sick and they freak out if they get a small cut but give them a tattoo and they do nothing. They don’t seem to understand that a tattoo is a series of very small puncture wounds. Very strange but somehow it makes sense for China.

Warren still needs to write about his trip to Chengdu. He went on a trip with classmates to work in one of the Panda Sanctuaries in Chengdu. This is the place where the pandas that are on “loan” from China come from (like the ones at the Atlanta Zoo). He got to work with the panda caretakers and played Mike Rowe (Dirty Jobs) for a few days as he cleaned panda poo and helped to feed the animals.

How about the eyeglasses? Surprise! Surprise! The glasses are perfect, no issues, no problems. I know; I am as surprised as anyone. I figured I would put them on and walk into a light post or something but I can see just fine. Warren’s are the same way. Now it gets me to wondering, why does the Optometrist do all of those extra things if the machine will provide you with a prescription? For anyone that has had an eye exam, you know the routine. You look into machine (just like the one they had here) and it tells you your vision (Man! You are blind!). However, back home that’s just the beginning of the experience. Then it is sit in the chair for 15-20 minutes and wait for the eye doctor to come in and review your history and the new vision. He then does the air-puff thing on your eyes which I think is a test for glaucoma or something like that (everyone loves this test, keep your eyes open and have them hit your eyeball with a quick puff of air making you head jerk back….). Then he’ll put that goofy, massive borg-looking machine in front of you and start the click-click-click as he allegedly dials in your prescription. Then its start the selection process as you read the eye chart. “Which is better 1 or 2…..1……2…..2…..1?” You say “2”. “A…..B…..A…..B……or about the same?” “The same” Click-click-click. Now which one “1….2…..1…..2…..1…..2?” All the while you are sweating it out as you realize that any mistake will screw up your eyes worse. You start to wonder if it really matters and find your mind drifting away to the dulcet tones of “1…..2…..1…..2” (and ah-one and ah-two and ah……). Then you are snapped back to reality as his voice seems to change and he’s becoming annoyed that you can’t make a decision. “C’mon dummy, it’s either 1 or 2, do I have to draw you a roadmap?” (even if you did I couldn’t see it) Then it’s almost over or so you think. He makes some clicks and says “can you see the chart?” (sorry, I wasn’t paying attention is that an “W”), this is your new prescription. (Can I see “A” again?) Here was your old one, and here is your new one. There’s virtually no change (great, and how much did it cost me for that piece of news?). Then it’s time for the dreaded, “We want to dilate your pupils, is that okay?” (HECK NO!) Whatever. So they put drops in your eyes and make you wait in the waiting room and expect you to read a magazine or something but you can’t focus on anything because did I happen to mention that my pupils are dialating. (What!?!?!? Ellen is dating Oprah or does that say Elton John is signing opera? Oh crap! I picked up People magazine! Loooser!) After 10-15 minutes it’s back into the room to wait for the doctor again. This time he picks up the magnifying glass that he used as a kid to burn ants and decides he will focus his “laser” beam on the back of your eyeball (insert evil laugh here). He gets uncomfortably close as he stares into the back of your eyeball like a witch doctor studying the bones he just rolled out on the table. (this year’s American Idol winner will come from the US. Tell me more oh powerful one. The world will end of March 21, 2011. Swing-and-a-miss.) After a few minutes he’ll tell you everything looks good and then it’s out to pay for the visit and select your glasses. All the while you can’t see crap. Am I writing a check or am I just signing a Post-It note? You have to rely on someone to help pick out your frames and tell you if they look good so you don’t pick out ladies glasses. Remember, my eyes are dialated, how can I pick out frames? Then they send you out into the bright sunlight to watch you hunch over in pain and the light burns a hole through your head (it burns, it burns). You look like a reject from The Lost Boys as you stagger to find your car and wait for the light to go out. Hopefully you have some old people sunglasses (you know the ones I am talking about) to allow you to drive home.

But I digress from the point (don’t I always). Does all of this mean that your prescription is more accurate? Not really, last time at the eye doctors before I left, the prescription I had was bad and it made me sick to put on the glasses. The doctors could find nothing wrong and so I finally had to go to another eye doctor who fixed the prescription. Here, one “doctor”, one prescription and everything went fine without all of the other extra add-ons (how about the extra-thin lenses….that’s an additional $80. You should get the scratch-resistant coating…another $40. How about the lens cleaning kit? And so on it goes…). It may turn out that I was lucky but somehow with all of the Chinese that wear glasses that they know what they are doing here. So we’ve been to the dentist (and by we, I mean Tammy and the boys), the doctor and the optometrist here without any major issues. Lucky for us, Suzhou is pretty comfortable for Westerners so it’s probably a lot worse in many other places.

So, what’s left? The one update that maybe you already know. We are heading back to the US in July (should be home on July 4th…..sounds about right doesn’t it?). We’ll be leaving Georgia and heading to South Carolina so we’ll be looking for new digs and finding out what we have missed the past two years. What about the blog? You’ll have to wait and see.

Seeing Clearly

2011-05-17T11:55:00.001+08:00

Today Warren and I had another new experience in China; we went to get our eyes checked. It has been 2 years since our last eye examination but at some point in time you have to make a decision to be sure you can still see what is happening around you (who moved that tree?). Unfortunately the fact that there is an English speaking clinic for medical and dental issues here kind of spoils you. As far as an eye doctor, we tried to find someone but we were unable to locate an English speaking eye doctor here in Suzhou. So we had to test the waters with a Chinese speaking “doctor” (or someone who played a doctor on TV). We didn’t know exactly where to go but we knew of a place in the Neighborhood Center that sold glasses. This is the same center where we get out train tickets (and by “we” I mean Tammy) so how bad can it be? Train tickets….eyeglasses, almost the same right? We walked by the place a couple of weekends back and I wasn’t really sure about it but Warren needed new glasses so it was time (feel the power of the dark side) to test the waters.

The eye shop was kind of similar to a Lens Crafters or places like that. Small counters with different types of glasses and lenses, there was also a small section (about the size of a broom closet) where they appeared to do the eye exams and another small section where they prepared the lenses for the frames. It was kind of a typical place but to a much smaller scale. There was no back hallway leading to the examination rooms or the dentist-type chairs to sit in with all of the fancy, high-tech looking equipment all around. It was a simple shop where they sold eyeglasses and where we assumed they performed eye exams. There were two ladies working along with an older gentleman that you first assumed to be the optometrist (and you know what happens when you assume) but he wasn’t (so much for the power of perception). We went in and looked around for a moment and once she looked to be “free” I walked over and indicated Warren (that’s right, put your first born in the line of fire….I’m not gonna try it, let’s get Mikey) needed an eye exam and the lady took him over to the small examination area of the store. It was like a small alcove in the store that was separated by a short 2 ft high wall. She sat him down and had him look into the magic “this is your eye prescription” machine (you know the one, it shows the house and the field) to figure out what his new prescription would be. She told him to put his face into the mold while she setup the machine (did I mention she was speaking Chinese). The funny thing was that because of his height, he was trying to move his chair down at the same time she was moving the machine downward. He is trying to lean into the machine without having to stoop over like the hunchback of Notre Dame and she keeps dropping the height on him. Eventually, he put his head in there and got the readout. Then she took these “Harry Potter meets Harry Carry special black and round slotted frames and put some lens options in the slots and had him put on these “glasses” to check his prescription. It was pretty comical as he had these Borg looking (resistance is futile) glasses on. She then had him sit in another chair to look at a mirror located about 2 meters in front of him and read the chart that was over his head. Let me say it again, he sat in a chair underneath an eye chart and looked in the mirror to try and read the chart. It contained E in different directions (up, down, left and right). She stood next to him and took her ruler and pointed to an “E” and told him to tell her if he saw it. Warren was all confused as she pointed and asked him questions in Chinese. I figured it out as I watched from the peanut gallery and told him to give her the direction with his hand. Then she would say “Hao bu Hao” and move on to the next line. He was starting to get it when she asked even more questions (all in Chinese of course). It was pretty comical, Now Mr. Potter please tell the class about the potion that she has taken that is forcing her to speak in a language that only she can understand. I’m trying not to laugh loudly but I am chuckling as she asks him questions and then turns to the tray of lens inserts and adds them and continues to ask questions. Warren would look at her, with those huge, bug-eye frames and try and figure out what she said but he was having limited luck. She then asked him “Shufu bu Shufu”. We had no idea what she was asking so she tilted her head to the left and right like some kind of insane bobble head doll and continued to say “shufu bu shufu”. Now I can’t help myself, I’m laughing louder watching this comedy unfold. Warren is sitting in the corner of this little closet wearing the Harry Potter birth control glasses (black frame with the red lens selections) staring at a mirror while trying to figure out what this lady is saying in Chinese about the stuff she Is pointing to just over his head.. We still both looked confused when she kicked it up a notch and came over to me and wrote out the character for “shufu” on a piece of paper. Ooooh, now I understand (not!!!). She must’ve thought a lot about me because I looked smart or something (man was she wrong; people think I’m white and nerdy). I had pulled out my Chinese-English dictionary and was trying to figure out how to spell “shufu” in Pinyin so I would know what the heck she was saying. Finally, it became clear…comfortable. She was asking if the glasses were comfortable, meaning was he feeling okay with the new prescription. Aha! Now we’re getting somewhere. He had no issues so we could move forward to the frame selection.

This wasn’t as bad, although the selections were a little weird since the Chinese pretty much have rectangular frames all the time. The round frames are not normally used here. As with any eyeglass place, they had some winners and losers for frames. He would try on a pair, she would mumble something and either take them back or laugh and take them back. Too big, too small, not right, whatever. It was like the normal routine at home just with a different flair. Of course, Warren and I were on our own here without a female presence to tell you what looks good (look mom, I dressed myself!). Warren had to say “This is when we need Mom.” as I would provide my typical supportive statements when he was trying out the different frames. You know what I am talking about “Hey, those look okay….if you want your girlfriend to dump your butt”, “Those ones are nice…for a woman”, ”Oooh, I like those….not!” Your standard, run-of-the-mill supportive parent type comments (look, I am not the one you should be looking to for advice on anything to do with fashion, I freely admit it). I am not sure why he didn’t find me helpful. Eventually he settled on the style and then she showed us a book and was pointing to different tables. I had an idea of what she was indicating because there was a cost number attached and told her that was okay. Warren looks at me and says “did you understand her?” I said no but she was indicating costs so she was talking about lens options and thought that his prescription would be okay with the standard lenses. You know, back home they give you the once over with the “how about the UV coating?”, “you want the thinner lenses”, “how about tinting”, and so on as they go “cha-ching”. Here I had no idea what the options were but I guessed that it was about the lens thickness more than anything else and of course, I was right (as far as anyone could tell). So she tallies up the final costs for the exam (if you want to call it that), the frames and the lenses….560 RMB, that’s $86. Find me a pair of frames in the US that costs less than $80. It’s crazy!

So after he was done, I stepped up and got my eyes checked as well (step aside and let me show you how a man does it!). My exam was limited as she indicated that my current prescription was good and there was no change needed. Then it was pick out the frames and lenses for me. I picked out some of the magnetic frames (that have the sunglass attachments) and thought those would be okay for me. The best part was that I got two different attachments, one that was a blue shaded option and the other she pulled out of the case for me to try. She held this little card out in front of me and had me look at it with and without the shades. The card changed and revealed a secret message as soon as you put on the shades (don’t forget to drink your ovaltine) like some kind of super spy trick. It was really bizarre because she said that those lenses were made for driving. Driving, really!?!? So the frames allow you not to see people as you focus entirely on driving? (pay no attention to the person on the bicycle since they are paying no attention to you) Perhaps they omit the other cars on the road? With the way they drive, I think everyone has a pair of these lenses (Wow! The whole road to myself, this is great!). Anyhow, I got those frames with the attachments, all for 800 RMB, $125. I couldn’t even get frames in the past for that much. Of course, the proof will be in the ricecakes. If we get the glasses and they don’t help, then it’s wasted money but if these work, we’re golden.

She originally told us tomorrow afternoon to pick up the glasses but then was telling us something different. Sometimes, knowing words is okay but it still tough to understand the full message. I understood company and go home but the rest was a mystery. Another Chinese was in the store and she talked back and forth with him when he tried to tell me that it would be Tuesday before the glasses would be ready. The lens makers (time to make the lenses) were off of work for the day. Ahhh, no problem. Tuesday is fine.

The best part was that when she took our glasses for the measurements to fit the new lenses, she wiped them with this cloth before she handed them back. It looked like an old, dirty dishrag that was dingy gray color. She wiped the glasses and Warren whispers to me “wipe them before you put them one” but I wasn’t listening. It was like a bum at the airport was washing your windshield with a grease rag, everything was blurred and nasty. I really don’t want to know where the rag has been but I suspect it was used to clean more than just glasses (time for the Fox5 Investigative Team to jump into action). I just said thanks and headed out the door and wiped off the glasses with my shirt. Meanwhile, she headed for the bathroom with "the cloth”……aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!

Top 10 List

2011-04-26T11:39:00.002+08:00

On the grand scale of occupations we like the least; there is a definite Top 10 list. Each person may have a slightly different list but my Top 3 (3….3…..3….3) would look something like this;
1. Politician
2. Lawyer
3. Insurance Agent
It’s not that these jobs are easy or do not require some talent and ability. It’s just the fact that no matter what your feeling is about a person you know (and like) in these fields, there are just so many “less than honorable” people in these fields that it screws it up for the good ones.

Recently, I have run into an issue with my house that required the intervention of my Insurance Agent to try and resolve. I’ll not name the company to prevent any hard feelings or animosity (or perhaps the call from a person in job #2 telling me to cease and desist) so let’s just say the company is Bait Farm Insurance and they have a slogan that might be “Like a good fisherman, Bait Farm is there”. [The events are real; the names have been changed to protect the innocent. Any resemblance to the situation or company is purely coincidental, so if you try to link this to an actual company, it’s all on you, and aren’t you ashamed of yourself?].

Anyhow, I am notified of some damage to my home that could be related to the bad weather encountered early this year. So I have to notify my agent to find out what I can do to start the process of getting the damage inspected and ultimately fixed. No immediate response, then a follow-up from me. Now I get a response, you need to file a claim before we do anything. I ask, what do I need to do to get a claim started, do I need someone to look at the damage and provide an estimate for repairs, etc. No response. Again, follow-up and I get the answer to file a claim. Gee thanks for all the help. I should point out that I am not getting communication directly from my agent but someone in her office (STAFF!?!?! STAFF!?!? Damnit! Only those who remember The Kimmer on the radio will appreciate this comment). So I appeal to her directly and get the same answer, file a claim. I should point out that in this “hypothetical” situation I have indicated that I am not living in the US and that perhaps I will need a little more assistance because of my inability to be in the same time zone. Does it work? Of course it doesn’t.

So I go online to file the claim without any idea of what is needed for this process. Of course due to my current location, the Internet isn’t exactly reliable (add ISP to the list of companies you hate, along with Utility Service Person). After several attempts I am able to finally complete the full form and submit it. Hooray for me! Now my agent will take charge and get the ball rolling (then I wake up from my dreams). Nothing happens.

I contact my agent again, she will finally contact the adjuster to look at the house but he cannot for 6 weeks. 6 WEEKS!!!!! Seriously (add Adjuster to the Top 10 list of jobs and that job is rapidly moving up the charts and into the Top 5), 6 weeks. He is that busy, really?!? Great, I’ll sit for 6 weeks and do nothing. I still don’t have an estimate on the damage and a check of the entire area to see what else may not be obvious from the simple vantage point. My sister steps in and gives me the name of a company to go out and check the damage. [Editor’s note; if you can’t rely on your family, who can you rely on?]. I had a few issues with them but my sister (she is nothing if not persistent, and when she’s on your side it is good for you) handled the problem and got the contractor out to look at the house. This is about 2-3 weeks after the initial contacts were made regarding the damage and such. I know it seems like a long time but every e-mail means a 1 day delay so what would be a quick fix back home takes much longer because you are waiting on a response and then responding to the response and so on. The contractor gets me a damage assessment and a quote on the repair work to be done. Imagine that, someone actually did some work (Contractor moving down the list). Now I’ve got something and I send the information on to my insurance agent who has been working feverishly behind the scenes to get the adjuster out to the house (Warning, SARCASM! The agent has done nothing, I ask if the adjuster can come out sooner and the reply is “No, he is very busy. Leave me alone China boy [okay, I added in the last part but I can see it happening]”).

What happens after the agent gets the quote? The very next day the adjuster finds time in his super busy schedule to go out and look at the house. Really, this is true. The very next day, freaking amazing (just out of the Top 3 now, Adjuster is #4)! However (and this is where it gets even more bizarre) he cannot e-mail me his report, he has to send it via post office due to his “company policy”. Can you believe it???? There are times in life when you hear something that is so stupid and moronic that it renders you completely speechless (at least for a short time)…this was one of those times I think back to one of my favorite quotes, “Never argue with a stupid person, they bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.” I sit and stare blankly at the computer screen with my mouth wide open without being able to truly comprehend how any company could have this ridiculous of a policy. How can you combat that (you can’t fix stupid)? I am left to ask for assistance to get the report sooner, yet again. My agent, can we call her Wonder Woman (meaning she is in a constant state of wonder), tells me that she will scan & e-mail me the report when she gets it. Okay, I sit back and wait, and wait and wait. A week later I send her another e-mail that was a little more forceful asking why the report hasn’t come in yet and indicating me displeasure with the entire situation (again). She actually responds with a message that the e-mail was sent on the previous Friday, an obvious lie coming either from her staff or her and she sends it to me again through her staff.

Of course, the adjuster does a lame job of doing anything but being a mouthpiece for the insurance company and first indicates the damages were about $400 lower than the contractors price and second indicates there is some hail damage to vents but not to the roof. Yes, of course, hail damage is always limited to the metal structures on the roof….dumbass!!! He also indicates that there is no interior damage. I guess he is talking about the interior of his truck since he could not get into the house. Big dumbass!!! You can’t fix stupid. So I go back to the agent and indicate the issues with his report and she gives me the one line message reply…”You need to call the Claims number 1-800….”. It was so warm and friendly, I am almost certain that she is in the running for Agent of the Year. The skill in which she uses the English language to be so concise yet so understanding, it makes me tingly all over. Now I know I am in for it. When people say to call a 1-800 number, you know that it took less time to build the Great Wall than it will be to speak to a real person that can actually solve your problem (and the worst part is that person is probably working out of a call center somewhere is Asia). When I asked her if the claim could be re-opened and I could get a second inspection, I got the same “Call the 1-800 number” message back (with warmth & friendliness).

So here I stand before you now complaining about the Insurance business. They will take your money all day long but when you ask for it back, you get the “Of course we can help you, but first you’ll need to bring me the broomstick of the wicked witch of the West. (I’ll get you my pretty) When I contact the 1-800 people, they indicate all I have to do is fax in my contractor’s estimate and a written request for a second inspection. Sounds easy right? Well, when I follow up after 48 hours (which was also in my directions), they can’t find the fax. Did you sent in your contractor’s quote? Aiya!!! Here we go again. So this guy sends me an e-mail that I should reply to and tells me to check back the following day. So I send the same information via e-mail (why didn’t they give me the e-mail address first?) and also fax it again. I should fax it every hour on the hour and ensure that they don’t forget me. So tomorrow (tonight) I check in again and see what has developed.

I know you want to know how the story ends, well…it isn’t over just yet. I’ve appealed the initial adjuster’s report and from what I understand they have to perform a second inspection with my contractor present so perhaps this will all work out. Who knows, the only thing I know is that I will be finding a new insurance company when this is all over. What’s that you say, they are all the same? I don’t think so. My in-laws had the roof collapse on their shed in the backyard, filed a claim and got a check in the mail with no inspection, no hassle. This just reinforces the point I made at the beginning, there are some good people whose jobs are in my Top 3 but these people seem to be few and far between so the rose among the thorns is hard to find. What jobs are in your Top 10? Perhaps blogosphere nerd comes to mind?

Shanghai Ink

2011-04-22T14:56:00.002+08:00

Okay people, today we come clean and will dish the dirt about ourselves. There has been a secret that we have kept to ourselves (okay some people know but work with me) that is to be revealed to everyone (Magic’s Greatest Secrets Finally Revealed). This may change your perception of who we are or it may not have any impact on you whatsoever, it’s up to you. In society we judge others, it’s just human nature and it is something that happens every day whether we like to admit it or not. So today, we open ourselves up to be judged (but be gentle).

It has been a long time in the making but as we are headed down what will be our final months living in China we have discussed what we can have to remind us of our time abroad (besides the persistent hacking cough, the tacky souvenirs and this strange desire to bump into people). For me, this scenario of living in a foreign country was not something I had ever considered in the past. It was a huge change for me; it was a risk and was something that was definitely outside of my comfort zone. Since that decision to accept this opportunity, I have continued to do things that are not what would be considered normal for me. Nothing that would be considered a criminal act (in Alabama) or outside my moral code but just not normal for life in the US. Hence this blog post (get to the point already). So we decided on something that again, is not ordinary for us. I don’t know that I have to expand more on that…as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.

So now you know, Warren and Jacob have tattoos. Just kidding, they don’t get theirs until next month (again, kidding). Tammy and I had discussed getting a tattoo many months ago and she dove right in because she needed to have it before we went to Thailand. Not really needed but if you don’t have it, you can’t show it off so wanted is probably a better term. You don’t want to be out in the sun right after getting a tattoo or else you can lose some of the color. So, we found a place in Shanghai to get the tattoo done, she found a good design and had it done right away (this was in October, plenty of time before the sun exposure in Thailand). Me, I was a little more cautious and held off for many months before finally committing to a design and getting the tattoo done. You want to be sure that we have the right look because it is on you and it’s not coming off with Clorox (unless it’s the Chinese “copy” Clorox). The first design that they sent to me wasn’t really me (and Tammy didn’t like it either). So I was delayed due to getting the right design and then finding the time to go. We’ve held off saying anything because it would be better to reveal it all at once rather than give updates (the shock factor is better this way).

I guess I should give some background to getting a tattoo, if you’ve watched Miami Ink, it’s a little different than what you see on TV (sorry to burst the bubble but reality tv isn’t reality, unless it’s Survivor, now that’s real….not.). The first time I went into the shop to start the work on a design, it was a little intense. Keep in mind that Tammy and the kids went with me to the shop (and the winner for Parents of the Year goes to…..). The shop is tucked away in a nice area of the city and as soon as you walked up the stairs you knew you weren’t in an ordinary shop. The buzzing sound of the tattoo guns going and they had music blaring. I believe the band was Gwar or something like that (an alternative metal band that makes Metallica look like the Carpenters). It was a little intimidating to say the least. The main artist for Shanghai Tattoo is a small (do I have to say that) Chinese woman with multiple piercings (nose, chin, ear shotgun holes things), a green mohawk hairdo and several tattoos herself (duh). She wears baggy camouflage pants and these metal studded boots that look like they came out of some odd sadomasochist designer shop (she actually gets them from Spain and just to clarify that remark I know because she was talking about them, it’s not because I have a pair). When you see her photos on the website http://www.shanghaitattoo.com/ you think that perhaps she may be a little crazy but she is actually a very likeable and friendly person that just happens to like to tattoo people and marches to her own drummer (again, we judge people every day and sometimes we are surprised when we look beyond the obvious). She has done tattoos for many Westerners and that is what makes a difference to me when selecting a tattoo shop. Obviously there is concern about a sanitary environment (for obvious reasons) and since she had done work with foreigners, she understood this need for clean that comes from the Western mind. There are two Chinese that also work at the shop, one apprentice and one other artist. Cheng Yong is the artists that did both my tattoo and Tammy’s tattoo. The “front man” for the shop is Dylan (an Irishman), he helps people prepare their tattoo and works through their ideas on what they want. He worked with their apprentice to draw out where I wanted the design and then talked with me about what I was looking for. It’s tough to describe accurately what you want so you say everything you can think of, show them a design you like and hope for the best. Oh, and I shouldn’t forget to state that they ask for a pretty hefty down payment for the design (they want to ensure that you don’t take their artwork to another studio). In this case, the first design was much more artsy-fartsy than I was expecting. For some, this would be a terrific tattoo but for me…not so much.

Now, again unlike Miami Ink, it was weeks before they sent me the first draft and I had to tell them I didn’t like it so it was another several weeks trying to work out a second design. The second design was much more “me” (what does that mean anyhow?) and it was time to commit to getting it done which turned out to be this past weekend. We spent time in the city before I got turned into a human pincushion (insert the buzzing sound of the tattoo ink gun here). My appointment was at 12:30 and they expected that it would take about 6 hours to get my ink (you notice how I have switched into the tattoo lingo here). 6 hours!!! Aiya!!! Not really the way you want to spend your day. But I had committed to it there was no way out. I was ticketed on the last train back to Suzhou while Tammy and the boys took an afternoon train home (no need to have the kids sit there and watch me cry).

In the tattoo world there is a design called a half sleeve (again demonstrating my vast tattoo knowledge) which covers your upper arm and shoulder. This isn’t exactly what I wanted but when he covered my arm with the print, it was going to be pretty darned close to what I would get. I tried to keep the size small so it would be covered with a standard short sleeved t-shirt but it seems that it wasn’t going to happen that way. “You’ll lose the detail” is what I was told. Well, okay but it is a bit big isn’t it? “No, it’s the size you need.” So he traces the outline of the design on paper (while I sit back on the couch and think of things I would rather be doing like talking to my insurance agent (more on that coming)) and when he is done he uses Speed Stick to cover my arm. Okay, maybe it wasn’t Speed Stick (byyyyy Mennen) but it sure looked like it. I was you basic wide, “deodorant” green stick that he rubbed on my arm and then placed the paper over it, being very careful to get things centered (this transfers the design, much like Silly Putty). Of course, Tammy is there to oversee the operation and provide her nod of approval (in between her giggles about how it was going to hurt).

With the design on my arm it was time for the chair. My tattoo artist was probably thinking to himself “Great, I have to tattoo a chicken wing.” I should the other foreigners in the shop getting tattoos. One was getting a dragon design that went from his shoulder to his knee, 11 sittings to get the design done (11!!!!). The other guy (Filipino) was getting a design on the right side of his stomach, ouch! I take my seat in the chair facing the guy starting session #1 of his dragon where she was doing the tattoo on his side and basically working between the belly button to the backbone, all nice and tender areas where needles are not supposed to be. I would watch his face as she worked and he would grimace (and not the loveable McDonald’s Grimace) and his legs and toes would jerk when she hit another patch of sensitive skin. Now that was pain! Just to add to the mystique here, the guy for whatever reason was wearing his boxer-briefs for the tattooing. I’m still not sure why but I have to say that I liked his purple Bjorn Borg undies (seriously, I think the name on the band was Bjorn Borg). The other guy was next to me and I could hear him with his grunts of pain so I knew it was going to be a long day. Based on the location of their tattoos and where mine was, I couldn’t even make a face because I was a wimp compared to what these guys were doing.

They actually go to great lengths to prepare everything like a dental office. The tools are on a stainless steel tray with the lovely blue paper underneath the tools and everything is wrapped in plastic that I am going to touch. They wear gloves when they work to protect themselves more than you. So once the design is on your arm, he puts the printout on the table for reference and begins to setup to do the outline. The buzzing starts and you see the needle move and it’s all over. He sticks you and you think, “Okay, that’s not so bad” but then you recognize that he is tracing over the outline and needs to continue. Buzzzz. “Okay, that’s getting worse”…buzzzz…”When is it going to be over?” Then he stops. He wipes your arm quickly, dips for more ink and it starts again. Buzzzz for between 4-8 seconds and then stop, wipe, dip and buzzzz. Sometimes he runs for longer periods as he works in a specific area and you think that the additional 2 seconds are too much, then it stops. Periodically he stops, pulls out a towel, wets it and wipes down your arm to take a look; that feels really good. You forget for a moment that he has only finished a small section and you’ve been in the chair for only 15 minutes of the 6 hours. For the outline, he uses a single, small needle to draw the outline and do all of the detail work. Tammy and the boys went to lunch and came back to see how it was going after about 90 minutes. The boys wanted to see if I was crying but they were disappointed. There were times when it was definitely intense but it wasn’t overwhelming pain (probably because after a short time your body is releasing endorphins and the pain is a little less intense than when it started and your body is going “What the heck are you doing? Run you fool!” Since this tattoo wrapped around my arm, it meant that the tricep area was getting stuck as well as the side and partial bicep. That’s when it really hurt, the bicep and then again when he was drawing the head section just above the armpit. Nice tender areas where needles aren’t supposed to go. These were the areas where he was drawing a little blood as he worked (nice image isn’t it?). The outline and detail work took almost 3 hours. Then it was all about the shading of the artwork. This is when it got worse. He pulls out a 4-5 needle tattoo gun and continues to work to get the shading done around the dragon. I should point out that he is still working with the black ink and so he is shading areas to make various shades of gray. Buzzzzrubbbb, buzzzzrubbbb as he works the needle all around the arm.

What am I doing while all this work is going on (besides the obvious trying to focus on something other than my arm)? I am watching the purple undies guy and then listening to people come into the shop to discuss what they want for a tat (again, tattoo jargon). There was a woman and her daughter that came in to get two piercings in her upper ear. This was done by a doctor that stopped in for 90 minutes to handle the piercings. Then a girl came in to get her nose pierced, she had a little issue and had to sit on the couch for 15 minutes to rest from the experience. Then he pocketed his cash for the day and left. Other than that, listening to the music and trying to get lost in my own thoughts (you don’t want to go there) I was just trying to pass the time and forget that a Chinese man was assaulting me.

Anyhow, back to the design selection, when I selected the design I asked for not so much detail work and background but that was obviously lost in the Chinese translation (or he said, “too bad for you chicken wing boy”) and he was working hard on getting this right. He would work for 30 minutes, ask me to stand, he would stand back and look and then it was back to the chair! Are you done yet? My appointment was at 12:30 and it took him until around 5:30 before he was finished with this part of the design and all he had left was the color. I should point out that my train left for Suzhou at 8:23 and I was probably 30 minutes from the train station if I hit the subway stops just right so I was starting to get a little worried as time was winding down. My original thought of leaving after 6 hours was fading fast. Once again, here comes the 4-5 barb needle gun (I don’t know if it was 4 or 5 since it was moving too fast for me to know for sure) buzzzzrubbbb (the official sound for the tattoo gun if you didn’t realize it by now). First the red ink, each time he stopped to wipe down my arm I would look at my watch and wonder if I would make the train, how could I ask for another train, what street grate is the most comfortable and where were the best garbage cans for a good dining experience. The other two guys were completed with their design work (the one guy for the day, he would be back the next day to continue) so it was just me in the shop. The color actually went by quite quickly by comparison, he added in two yellow colors, some green and then touched up with some white to finish off the design. When he was close to done a Chinese young couple came into the shop and he wanted a tattoo on his back that was XX (yep, XX). It was small and I thought kind of funny. It was located a little to the center of the shoulder blade. I have no idea why he wanted this but again, who was I to judge. He was probably wondering why this skinny Westerner was getting a dragon. It was tough to tell how the final product would look at times because in many areas of my arm when he hit me with this gun, I would bleed so the yellow color was diffused by the red and I was wondering what it would look like. My dragon has bloodshot eyes, what is he stoned? But as he continued, the blood faded and the color of the design came through. When he was finally finished he asked me to take a look in the mirror. I told him “feichang xihuan” (very much like it), he laughed (again, ruining my confidence in my Chinese skills). He took some photos for the shop and then covered my arm with a medical cream to prevent infection and wrapped my arm in plastic wrap (to prevent the design from sticking to my clothes). I headed out by about 7:20 and pulled out my directions for the Metro (subway) and put it in high gear to get to the train station. I made the mistake of trying to lean on the wall of the subway and recognized immediately that I should remember the tattoo (not so smart). I made it with about 20 minutes to spare so there wasn’t even time for a McDonald’s break, it was get on the train and get home. The soreness remained for several days as I had to treat the arm with ointment and cover it with plastic wrap but now I'm ready to unveil it to the world so go ahead and judge away.

Cambodia ~ Wats part 2

2011-04-19T16:31:00.006+08:00

Day 2 of our Angkor Wat backpacking adventure started a bit later than the first day. We were very tired from the day prior so we decided to have our guide pick us up at 1030am. We headed out to do the small tour circuit, see the country side, and the Land Mine Museum.

The temples that we saw this day were smaller than that of Angkor Wat but just as impressive. I could not stop thinking of the work that had gone in to creating these temples (and the egos the kings of the time had to think they had to keep up with the Jones'). The first temple was Preah Khan, built in the late 12th century. This temple originally served as a monastery and school for over 1000 monks.

The next stop was Neak Pean. This area was very interesting as the center "island" is surrounded by water (only in the rainy season) with a wall around the moat. We could walk around the on the moat wall and see the individual points with the different areas of worship. Interesting area inside, but the most memorable part was as we were walking out towards the driver there was a Cambodian man undressing to "shower" in the well on the area near the road. He wrapped his krama around his waist and dropped his drawers. MA and I proceeded quickly once we started to see this as we did not need to see that!

After the show we proceeded to Ta Som. This is another temple in the Bayon design as many of the towers have faces carved. In the rear of the area is a another example of how nature has grown around the walls, there is a huge tree that has grown up (a great photo op!).

The last temple of the day/circuit that we visited was the Banteay Srey. Built in the late 10th century by King Rajendravarman. This temple is loosely translated into "citadel of the women" and is quite different from the others that we had seen. The temple is rather small in comparison and is also made of pink sandstone.

Banteay Srey was discovered in 1914 by the French and a team of archaeologists. It is about 40km from Siem Reap but worth the extra money for the drive. The detailed carvings on the walls are some of the prettiest that we saw during our stay in Siem Reap.

On our way to Banteay Srey we drove through the countryside. We saw farmland, rice fields, and many, many animals. The most interesting one was on his way to the market ~ on the back of a moto bike....

Yes my friends, that is a pig on the back of the moto bike. We saw many things that made us thankful for where we live and how we are able to have things to make life comfortable.

After Banteay Srey we were fortunate to have the opportunity to visit the Cambodian Land Mine Museum. I say fortunate because many people do not visit this museum as it is very far from Siem Reap. It is also a reality check to see what the people of this region went through during the Vietnam War. The museum was very moving for us, to see the destruction and the lives that the war ultimately destroyed. Check out this link for more info on the museum. I remember Princess Diana doing work for this organization and before I would shrug it off and not think anything of it. However after visiting the site and seeing the people I highly recommend reading and researching the cause. We were also interested to see one of the CNN Heros of 2010 plays an important part in the museum and the organization. The museum was very enlightening, the three of us left with a heavy heart.

Our next stop was a boat tour out to a "floating village". Yes, it was a boat (an 8 seater with a man on the bow with a stick and a very old (ancient) motor engine). As we began the "short" trip to the floating village the waves picked up and a light drizzle began. As we arrived on the floating village the light drizzle turned into a full fledged thunderstorm with lighting. Did I mention that we were on the largest lake in South East Asia and were on a floating village... One of our group members has a small phobia of thunderstorms (we did not learn this until we saw the weather change ~ lucky us!!!) She did quite well with all things considered. The storm had not yet stopped when our tour guide instructed us to get on the boat (I think we need a bigger boat) for the long and wet ride back to the dock. It was pitch black dark when we finally arrived back on dry (not really) land about 3 hours later than what we had originally planned. Did I mention this is the dry season in Cambodia?

After all that we had done on the 2nd day it was time for the three of us to head back to the hotel for some much needed rest, food, and beverage. We also needed to prepare for the next day as it was time to check out of the ghetto and into the Taj Mahal!

Stay tuned for part 3 of our excursion through Cambodia!

Cambodia ~ Wats part 1

2011-04-19T15:15:00.008+08:00

A few weeks ago, two girlfriends and I visited Siem Reap, Cambodia. You ask, "Siem Reap? What in the world is in Siem Reap and why would you want to visit Cambodia?" When we were in the US there were many times that we saw on National Geographic or Discovery channel programs on the area of Angkor Wat. So since were are in Asia and when else would we be able to visit the ancient ruins of Angkor Wat. And since chances were slim (to none) that Scott and I would be able to go with the kids when the opportunity to go with friends I jumped at the chance. The entire trip was planned, scheduled, and paid for just the week before we left so there was no time for "planning" and doing a lot of research ahead of time. So the three of us just packed our bags (for backpacking ~ see Scott's previous posts) and away we went.

We arrived late on the first day and immediately upon checking into our first hotel we booked a tour guide and driver for the next day. We asked to be picked up early so we could get out and see as much as possible. We walked to pub street and the night market to get a bite to eat and to "window shop" to check out the local wares.

The next morning we were up early, as the tour guide was going to pick us up at 830am. When the guide arrived at the hotel he informed us that it would be a busy day. First we had to stop and purchase our 3 day passes to visit the Angkor Archaeological Park which encompasses approximately 390 square miles. Needless to say we packed in as much as we could be could not come close to seeing all there was to see in the area.

We proceeded to head into the main area at Angkor Wat. All I can say is WOW! All the programs that we saw on tv could not come close to the magnitude of this wat. We were all very surprised at the refurbish work that was being done. However since this area is over 1000 years old upkeep would have to be ongoing.

As we walked with our guide through the temple (wat) one can not begin to imagine how the people made this incredible and magnificent temple. The aspara carvings on the walls to ward off evil gods and the amazing artwork carved into other walls in hallways was impressive. The huge 65 meter lotus like towers were a beauty that I have never seen before. Walking around the 1km square, I had a difficult time not tripping over my feet because I kept staring in complete awe at the massive temple walls. It's very difficult to write how impressive this area was, as words cannot come close to describing what it was like. Between the 3 of us, we took about 700 pictures of this area alone.

After leaving Angkor Wat, we took a short ride to Bayon. Bayon is famous for its 1000 faces. Here there are 37 standing towers, mostly with four carved faces. Rumor has it that King Jayavarman VII had the faces carved to keep an eye on the people of the kingdom.

This temple also is said to have some roots in the Chinese culture. We were quite surprised to see how many tour groups seemed to be from "home". We also noticed that even though we were in Cambodia the tour groups forgot they were not in their home country (spitting, hacking, pushing, no space, etc...) It was not until we had spent some more time that the tour groups left (as they are in such a hurry to see 'everything' yet not see anything). It was surprising to us that we were almost the only ones there and it was quite peaceful to wander around and see the ins and outs of this wat.

The third temple of the day had some link to American pop culture ~ Ta Prohm. This was where the famous Angelina Jolie movie "Lara Croft, Tomb Raider" was partially filmed. This temple is also under refurbishment with cranes and scaffolding around. This temple was my favorite of the day with the massive fig and silk cotton trees growing up through the towers and corridors.

This temple was also interesting as you could see the progress that the government has been doing to upgrade the area. Outside the main temple area there were huge stones with numbers and letters listed on them. We asked the tour guide and he confirmed that the letters were where the stone belongs and the number was the chronological order that they should be replaced.

After these three wats, we were all very tired and so very hot. The temperature was a balmy 35C (95F) with very high humidity. It felt like August in Suzhou. We headed back to the hotel then to Pub Street for dinner and a cool drink. We scheduled the tour guide and driver to take us out again the next day to do the small tour circuit to include the countryside and the land museum.

Stay tuned for part 2 of the temple tour.....

The Taxman Cometh!

2011-04-15T08:48:00.000+08:00

Most of the blog relates to situations we encounter in China and to inform about what we are doing or have done. In addition to the normal banter of a madman, in this post I’ll also provide some information that perhaps isn’t known to everyone. I know that before I took this opportunity, I wasn’t aware of all of the nuances relating to living and working abroad. Everyone always thinks that this would be the chance to rake in the cash and return home, buy the Trump casino and tell the hairdo “You’re Fired!” I mean we read multiple books and none really ever broached the subject of taxes so I’ll now briefly (okay, maybe not briefly) cover that aspect of being an Expat.

For person’s living abroad, April 15th is not Tax Day; it’s really October 15th(or maybe even later). Interesting that tax day in the US comes in the same month as Tomb Sweeping in China (where you honor your ancestors, in the US our government honors them by taxing them when they die and leave you their stuff. There’s nothing better to remember your loved ones than a dusty old stuffed deer head and a tax bill. “It’s just what I wanted”.) Speaking of taxes, were you aware that working abroad means that you pay taxes in both your home country and the country in which you are working? I know, sounds counter-intuitive (but since when has the tax code ever made sense?) but that is the way it is. Not only do we have to pay taxes in two countries but everything here that is “covered” by the company counts as income. What does that mean? It means that any/all expenses reimbursed by the company (depends on your deal and/or company) is considered income for tax purposes. All of the “allowances” are considered taxable and count as income. Now perhaps I could’ve asked more questions and figured this out on my own but it didn’t really cross my mind as I looked at the contract and spoke with the tax accounting firm that would do my taxes. So, imagine my surprise when I received my amended W-2 form and found out that all of this was “income”. Gotta love it! (Yes We Can….take your money! Okay, it’s not specifically all his fault but the buck stops with the man at the top right?) I’m not complaining (well…I am but in an educational way). I’m just stating another of the observations about living abroad. Be sure to know your contract and be prepared for anything (and everything, watch all of the episodes of “Locked Up Abroad” and “Paradise Lost” to see what happens how and when things go really badly). Check with others that have gone before you (this isn’t Star Trek) to ensure there are no surprises. Never forget, just when you think you are out of the reach of the IRS, you find out the hard way that there is no such thing (unless the Fair Tax becomes law…..hint, hint). Some things you never want to know like “hypothetical taxes” and other genius bean-counter/lawyer terms to baffle you into silence (thank you sir, may I have another). If I look at my W2 and some of the new categories listed my eyes begin to cross and I feel faint. I just look at how much money went into the bank and keep my mouth shut. Seriously, I have hypothetical taxes taken from my check (hypothetically what happens when I smash my thumb with a hammer? There’s nothing hypothetical about it, it’s money but you don’t know what currency or how the heck they calculate it). To top it off, the W-2 is grossly over-estimated for wages and yet somehow it almost all works out to the same taxes as last year. It’s bizarre and so unnecessary.

If you think you’re out of reach of the new Healthcare bill by relocating to China (or somewhere else), think again. (yes that’s right….I’m going on a rant here so brace yourself) I still have to pay for a health plan and thanks to all of our hard working, communist manifesto believing stoolies we are stuck with another government black hole to absorb cash. Our costs were supposed to go down right? My health plan costs just increased by 12.5% (and that’s just for medical). It’s gone up every year for the past several years but this year, 12.5%....that’s insane people! You should look into your plan and see how this has helped you; my guess is that it hasn’t. The best part….this is just the down payment since we know the costs will continue to rise because the full implementation is still years away. What a shock the politicians are exempt from this new and improved system.

The best part about the rising costs is that at the end of the year you may have earned and been granted a salary increase (note that I said earned and not “lucky enough to get”, it’s not about luck), but in the end you are still losing money; it’s just a matter of how much less you will have with your new & improved health plan costs continuing to rise at levels that you can’t match. It’s a sad story on the demise of the American Dream. We’ve gone from being the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave to the Land of the Free-Loaders and Home of the Brave-Nothing-On-Your-Own. It’s shocking how stupid people are, they say “government money” and forget that isn’t money the government earns; it is money they take from you and your family. In theory (or to keep with the theme, hypothetically) Robin Hood sounds like a very noble person, robbing from the rich and giving to the poor but in fact, Robin Hood is a thief and an enabler. He’s no different than a crack dealer (think about it). In today’s world many see the government/politicians as Robin Hood. Love me for I am the people’s champion! I will stand up for the little person against the evil _______ {insert your own evil enterprise here}. In actuality, they are not very noble or honorable people (I am sure there are a few but a few cannot stand up to the mass of the old timers who may have started on the right path but were quickly diverted, “I am your father….feel the power of the Dark Side”).

Sorry, I digressed from some tax information for living abroad and started my rant. You should feel a little lucky that this is actually the much-edited version. My original press release was probably a lot more nasty (but I wasn’t using my teleprompter). I guess I’m getting a little feisty as we prepare to perhaps head back to the land of “Yes We Can”.

Dora (part III)

2011-03-24T11:49:00.002+08:00

So like any good sequel, we continue to describe the daily activities of the Dudley men as we attempt to survive without Tammy. Last night I decided I would cook dinner, not because I wanted to but because I don’t want to order for delivery. We ordered out for delivery on Saturday night and it wasn’t pretty. We decided to try out a Thai place here and found it to be very disappointing. The food was just okay but it wasn’t Thai or at least I didn’t think it tasted like Thailand. Now after being to Thailand I can turn up my nose at places and state in a very aloof manner “That’s not Thai food.” (and so I did, arrogant isn’t it) The food smell indicated right away that they were very heavy-handed on the fish sauce and it totally killed the meal. Warren didn’t mind (big surprise) but for me it was far too much. So that meant we would try and cook for ourselves. I pulled out the big guns and went for the Red Curry since it had been almost a week without curry and I had to get a true Thai fix in before I went into withdrawals. I followed the instructions and the curry came out okay, although the kids didn’t eat as much as they usually do. What’s the comment….your rice is dry. Being the loving parent I declined to beat them senseless and said “Of course it is (all the better to have some for leftovers), it’s with a curry.” I wasn’t defeated, it was edible and there was no “morning after” regret (if you know what I mean).

So food….check. Laundry, I am doing it but I don’t know where it all comes from. The kids seem to believe that if they touch something, it needs to be washed. Maybe it’s true but they wear PJ bottoms and the next day…in the wash. What!?! How about wearing them a couple of days before washing them? If they are standing up in the corner, it’s time to wash, other than that, man up and wear it for two whole days without washing them. Woah! Now that’s crazy talk! It’s insane how much laundry that two kids generate. It was getting to the point that I was going to have to call for “two for Thursday” and “free Friday”, meaning that on Thursday they would wear the same thing they did on Wednesday and on Friday underwear was optional (since it may not be washed). The washer we have is small and although we have 2 dryers, neither is really adept at getting the clothes dry quickly. The washer takes between 25 – 30 minutes to wash maybe two pairs of pants and a couple of shirts but that is it. When they come home, they put their clothes in the washer and change. Their PE outfits go into the hamper and wait for me to arrive to transfer the washed clothes into the dryers (or if it is nice, out on the line to dry….take that Al Gore!). The problem is I instantly have to do a second load which won’t see the dryer before bedtime and I can’t just keep washing all night because I have other important things to do (like play the Xbox or stare blankly at the TV and talk to myself, which is something I do anyhow even when Tammy is there but I like to pretend that she listens and enjoys my babbling. Actually I think she is online with a support group for women with husbands who believe every line they say is comedic genius.) I’ve gotten 3 loads done before I crash for the night but I don’t seem to be making a dent in the pile of laundry since the kids come home and change, then change again after showers. It’s ridiculous, you would think that they would enjoy being able to wear “dirty” clothes.

So I miss posting on Wednesday because I didn’t get the blog written in time. Our VPN that we were using was discovered by the “Evil Empire” and has been blocked. So now, I can’t access the blog site from home at any time. It’s one of the downsides to living here. There is also talk that “they” want to take over Skype. I hope that is just a rumor but you really never know what to expect here. It will be what it will be and no amount of griping on my part will make a difference. It will be "for the common good" (does that sound like a familiar refrain coming from DC?) and to ensure the public safety. Honestly, if they have time to listen in on the Skype conversations and review the chats, they've got waaaay too much time on their hands. I think they'd be pretty bored with what they read and hear as opposed to what the probably think they would be able to uncover about the evil foreigners.

Anyhow, Tuesday night, curry (homemade). Wednesday night, pizza (delivery). Thursday night, yet to be decided. I think that we will go with the old spaghetti standby. I'm sure the kids will want Sherpas again but I'd rather just cook something (I've got leftover curry I can eat) and clear out the fridge. Tammy will be home on Friday so the adventures of Camp Dudley will end and she can post her “backpacking” tour of Cambodia for you to enjoy (along with many photos).

Dora_II

2011-03-22T15:20:00.000+08:00

Day 2 begins in relative calm compared to the quagmire that started Day 1. The kids finding out they didn’t have a key to the apartment just when they are exiting (of course, if I had not asked, they would’ve found out when they returned home…it might have been a good lesson for them as they sat out in the hallway waiting for me to come home from work). Using my calm demeanor and superior focus in times of crisis (yes that’s right, I yelled at them…sue me!), I explained the ramifications of the situation as I quickly packed a lunch and we all headed out in the rain to grab a taxi to drop them off at school and then take me to work. It wasn’t pretty because when it rains, the cabs are few and far between as their business picks up when people don’t want to ride the bikes to work and get soaked.

I came home from work and found the kids in the normal position, Jacob sprawled out with headphones in playing his computer games, Warren doing homework on the other seat. They had started the laundry (meaning he had pressed the “On” button) and had their clothes washing. Dinner was leftovers or instant noodle bowls because I had to go to Chinese class. I told Warren to use both dryers since the clothes wouldn’t dry out in the rain (I know I should not have had to explain this but since they only hear about 2 out of every 10 words, I have to be sure they understand). After class, it was snack, brush teeth and bedtime for the kids. I continued to wash clothes but since our dryers are really bad (takes about 1 hour to dry a pair of underwear) I had to shuffle what was being dried and hang some less important items to dry today. I also started a second load of laundry since I had a chance. No chance I would get it in the dryer but I could at least get it ready for morning. I played my Xbox game and then went to bed after my wife decided she didn’t want to talk to me (actually she had a long day “backpacking” and didn’t make it back to the hotel until very late).

So this morning, it’s still raining and I use my lightning-quick verbal reflexes to “discuss” with my children why they should take the small umbrella. Eventually my superior argument wins the day! (meaning they didn’t have a choice) I give them a small plastic bag to put the umbrella into their bookbags so it doesn’t get everything wet. I left it to them to decide who would carry this cumbersome load (you will, no you will, I don’t want the stupid thing, I don’t care, I’m not carrying it….) and then put the plastic bag into Jacob’s backpack. It was at this time that I discovered that he had his PE outfit in his bag. Was this the same PE outfit that I had placed on the rack to dry last night??? One touch and there was no denying it…it was the same one. It wasn’t wringing wet but it sure bordered on very damp. “Jacob (I say with my normal compassion), why didn’t you tell me you needed this today?” I don’t know (ah yes, the old familiar refrain that covers all questions that you don’t want to answer). “It’s wet (in my concerned voice, the old you’ll catch a cold thing)” I don’t care (and so it ends). Okay, enjoy running around in your wet pants, let everyone know your pants were wet before you went to basketball practice or maybe they’ll think you had an accident. Then I threw them out to go and catch the bus. I should’ve told him to put on his PE clothes and he wouldn’t need the umbrella but sometimes the enlightened banter from a teenager temporarily stuns me into silence (something like listening to members of Congress).

So day 2 begins with less excitement but just as much fun. Tonight I’ll have to try and cook something for dinner so I’ll let you know how that works out.

Dora the Explorer

2011-03-21T13:48:00.001+08:00

Last weekend, Tammy and a couple of female friends took a day off from the men and headed to Shanghai for an overnight stay while the kids and I remained back in Suzhou. I know, you’re asking yourself “How is it possible that she needs time away from me?” I have a hard time believing it myself….it’s got to be the kids, they drive everyone crazy. (One example, the kids have “discovered” Weird Al Yankovic, I know how odd that sounds since he has been around for years, and they are playing “White and Nerdy” on both computers as I write this but the songs are not in sync so there’s a delayed stereo sound to it.) However, that was just a precursor for what was yet to come. This Saturday, she and a couple of friends headed off to Cambodia for some “backpacking” (I call it her “Dora the Explorer” trip). She is going to see Angkor Wat and a couple of other areas of interest in Cambodia on her week away. She and her friends kept calling it a backpacking tour of Vietnam and Cambodia but it isn’t exactly as you would see it in your mind when you think of backpacking. The Vietnam came off the trip and the focus remained on Cambodia. Although it isn’t really backpacking and roughing it, it probably isn’t a luxury vacation either. They found some decent places to stay and will see as much as they can before they return.

Again, I know you are asking yourself “How can anyone handle being apart from Scott for more than one week?” Yet another good question and yet another one that I blame on the kids! Actually, we have wanted to get to Angkor Wat as a family but I know that it’s not really one of those trips where there is a lot to do for the kids and with the time running short, I am happy that at least one of us will get out to see a little more of this part of the world while we have the chance. Perhaps if you beg, she’ll blog about her trip to Cambodia (backpack-backpack, backpack-backpack). She has taken both cameras and a small notebook on her journey to collect the memories for several blog posts so she should have plenty of stories to tell.

How do the kids and I get along with her gone? Well, it’s not the same and they know it. This isn’t like when I left and came over to China for 3 months without the kids. It’s different because without her here, the kids have to take a little more on themselves while I am at work. It’s not like this isn’t done every day back home but it is new for them. They understand that dinner will be later than normal and perhaps the menu will be a little less diverse. Tammy has added in Indian curries to her repertoire and I have no idea how to do that. I can cook many different things (wheat toast, white toast, rye toast…I almost qualified for Top Chef, but then they asked me to cook on the stove and the dream was over). When Tammy goes somewhere overnight by herself it’s referred to as “Camp Dudley”. When I am away for a night, it is party time!

One night they can live with, a whole week….that’s going to be a bigger challenge for all of us. Tammy will be using Skype on her phone to keep in touch with us so we look forward to hearing from her and hearing a bit about her day. Unfortunately, when you think of modern amenities you don’t necessarily think of Cambodia at the top of the list (Wireless, yes we have no wires.). We’ll have to wait and see how that turns out but either way, we’ll have photos and stories to listen to when she arrives home. The question is what will her family look like upon her return? Will the kids be disheveled and appear like refugees that had to escape some evil warlord (um, that would be me)? Will we all look a little leaner since the food options have diminished (mmmm, peanut butter on noodles, I like it but not every night)? Will my hair completely fall out or turn 100% gray? {Add in your own question in this spot}

This morning we found out that we only have one key for the apartment between the three of us and we can’t lock the door without the key. Someone (not me) has lost their keys but since they arrive home before me we have to travel together to school & work (ahhh togetherness). This tells you how the “Backpack-Backpack” week started for the men of the house. It’s not looking promising for the home team and it’s only Monday.

The good life

2011-03-14T11:38:00.001+08:00

Many times I have had discussions with my Chinese colleagues about the differences between the US and China (nothing political or along the political lines, I keep away from discussions around that stuff, too many landmines there). Sometimes it is very interesting to hear their perspective on things and try to see things from a different viewpoint. I’ve worked with many Canadians and with them you can talk politics (although it tends to be them baiting me on the Republican/Democrat stuff) and although they come from a slightly different system of governance, it’s not the same thing.
This past week I spent time talking to two of my colleagues and tried to get them to understand what is happening in the US and what life is really like back home for many. The discussion started when I was told that they believe I would be here for many years, which I indicated is not a true statement. There was some surprise that I may be leaving soon and it seemed that they felt I would remain in Suzhou as part of the company for many, many years. I pointed out all of the other Expats that had worked here and since left to go home. “Okay, but you will have a good job when you go back home.” When I told them that my plant had closed, they seemed rather shocked that perhaps there wasn’t a job for me at home. “But you have so much experience, it will be easy to find a job.” I indicated that experience doesn’t count for much in today’s world. I had to point out to them that Matt (whom they knew, if you don’t know you can go back to read about Matt in previous posts) had gone back and was looking for a job. Huh!!! Matt is not working?. I indicated to them that other Expats that had left also did not have jobs. They were incredulous, how can that be? Why are they not working for the company? I had to point out that many of us came from sites that had closed their doors and that the plants were relocated to Suzhou. It still didn’t seem to hit home to them that these people they met were essentially out of work so they could have a job. I think they kind of understood but they didn’t seem to completely grasp the situation. All they know is that China is booming and there are jobs to be had for anyone that wants to work. They could not understand how the US was not in the same situation. For them, the US was always seen as the good life.

They hit me with the “good life” thing and I had to set the record straight. They thought that in the US, Healthcare was free. I told them that it was not, they were surprised. They thought that when you lost your job, the government paid you (I would guess this to be unemployment). I told them that this was true but the payment was not much and it was for a limited amount of time. They thought that when you retired, the government paid you. I told them again that this was partially true, you got paid Social Security but it did not mean you lived like a emperor. They have thought all along that in the US, the government would be there to get you through your life. Now some of the things were partially true but I told them about all of the economic issues and the housing issues in the US that is causing all of the problems. People accumulating too much debt and then walking away from their debt and perhaps filing for bankruptcy. They didn’t understand this at all because in China, the government owns the banks and if you can’t pay the banks for your house, you go to prison. If you try to leave your home and escape the mortgage payment, the government will find you when you relocate to a new area and you go to prison. Harsh, maybe but it’s probably a stronger deterrent to spending too much money than anything we have back home. I gave them the “there’s no such thing as a free puppy” speech and said everything is paid for through taxes. I get Social Security but it’s not the government paying me, it’s the government giving me my money back because I paid into the system. The healthcare thing hasn’t played out yet but I told them that the only way to pay for healthcare was to tax me so it wasn’t free. I was paying for it (even if I didn’t use it). At the moment, I pay into a health insurance plan through the company, it’s not free, it comes out of my check. I indicated the costs for healthcare in the US were rising faster than anything else so no matter if you got a pay increase each year, the costs for your insurance plan took that money and then some so you were actually still losing take home pay every year. Could it be worse, of course it could.

“But in America, you have human rights.” I didn’t touch this one; I just said it depends on what you refer to as a human right. I will not go off on a rant here although I am itching for one. It doesn’t apply to the story. They thought in the US, you had a job, a house, a car, money and everything would be handed to you on a silver platter. They did not think the US was a hard life. Everyone has a hard life, it doesn’t matter where you live it’s just how you define a hard life. People can work on a farm and work from dawn to dusk and be happy but for others; we would say that is a hard life. It’s a matter of perception. I told them that it’s about what you believe makes you happy. For too many in the US, there has been a separation from the belief system of our predecessors. Many now chase the “bling” to try and grab a piece of the good life. If their friend has a 60” plasma TV, they have to have one as well (or a bigger one). If their friend has a new car, they also need a new car. They chase the “Joneses” and never really understand why. The good life has been replaced by the “not good enough life”. Everything we have isn’t good enough so we go and buy more. I know I can’t pay the bills but I’ve got to have it, now the debt collector is calling and you are stuck. The generations before us that worked so hard to provide the opportunity for the good life would be appalled at how easily we’ve become distracted by things that don’t matter. The manta, “he who dies with the most toys wins” comes to mind. It’s a pretty sad statement.

So what is the good life? Is it something you can touch or show off to your friends or does it come from inside? What creates the good life, independence or dependence? It’s up to you to decide.

Viewing Habits

2011-02-27T18:44:00.003+08:00

What’s on TV tonight? It’s a question that we used to ask all of the time. During football season it was the discussion not on what we would watch but which game we would watch. Over here, we don’t really have that luxury and had to make sacrifices, most notably the change in our television viewing habits. Our “blackbeard” (aarrrrggh!) satellite box allows us to see a few of the channels from the US but we don’t have nearly as many options (but we are thankful to have at least a few English options, if we were in a more remote area of China I am pretty certain we would have zero options). Many times we are actually watching previous seasons of shows rather than the current season for anything. What else can we do to keep up with our favorite shows? Well, there still are a few options on the Internet to watch shows but some (as I mentioned previously) have been blocked by the US Government (thanks again! Way to balance the budget!).

The other option we have here is to purchase DVDs of our favorite shows (or shows we could never watch in the past). Of course, the season may not be the current one but if we show some patience, we can wait until the end of the season and purchase the entire season on one (or maybe two) DVDs. We can also go back and buy television shows that have gone off the air (Seinfeld, etc.) so we can watch them over and over (The Simpsons never gets old…unless you talk to Tammy, she’s about over the Simpsons references). We can also watch the latest movies from the US. Unfortunately for us (or maybe fortunately depending on your viewpoint), we never really have been strong movie goers so we have bought a lot of movies but haven’t watched many of the movies we have purchased. It’s not that big of a deal though because we didn’t spend $19.99 for the movie, we spent like $1.00 for the movie. If we find ourselves with a lot of time, we’ll be able to sit back and watch movies for days. Our collection happens to pale in comparison to many of the other Expat’s collections but we’re happy with it. We’re still filling in the blanks and getting those movies that we have always wanted but never had the inkling to run to the DVD store and buy them. Some of the movies are the classics like Casablanca, The Wizard of Oz and stuff like that just so we can look like we have some class but then again, we also bought Dumb and Dumber so perhaps the points we gain from the classic movies are countered by the other movies (when we buy Weekend at Bernies, then I know we’ve gone over the edge and there’s no going back).

So today kids, we are going to play Siskel & Ebert and tell you about the movies and shows we have watched over the past months. Many of the shows come from recommendations from friends back home, some we liked and some we really didn’t like but we gave them a try.

From the movie genre, Despicable Me, Tangled are the latest movies we have watched. I think the other ones we have watched recently have all been the animated movies. Despicable Me was pretty funny, Tangled…not so much. Tangled went back to the old Disney style where it was more of an animated musical as opposed to a movie. Too much singing ruined the movie. We’ve bought a lot of the animated movies here, some were older like Monsters vs Aliens. That was another good one that I bought early on here and can still sit and watch it and enjoy the movie. I have to buy another copy since the copy I purchased was a so-so movie. Alice in Wonderland was another one we bought which was obviously taped at the theatre (since you can watch the guy in the front row get up to go get some popcorn or whatever). Many people would probably throw away the so-so movies but we’re going to keep them just because. It’ll be one of those, “remember the movies we got in China” flashbacks.

As far as television shows/series;
Nurse Jackie – A Showtime series, we watched seasons 1 and 2. This show stars Edie Falco (she played the wife of Tony Soprano from “The Sopranos”, maybe you’ve heard of it) as a drug addicted nurse who is having an affair with a co-worker (placing her husband and two girls on the backburner). We haven’t ever had HBO or Showtime or any of those channels so this was a show we first saw on the flight home from China this summer. It was kinda funny and very quirky but an oddly entertaining show. It’s not a great show and seems to takeoff of House without the medical focus but instead focuses more on Jackie. I watch shows like this and wonder about the message behind them. Sometimes I think they want to create likeable characters with major flaws and challenge you to judge them (if you dare!). They want to justify the actions of the character and show that people can be flawed but still deserve some kind of sympathy or something from you but by God, don’t judge them. I don’t know, if I start down this road I don’t think I’d watch a lot of TV. It’s not a bad show but it’s not one of those shows that I have to watch.

24 – I love 24, we purchased the entire series and have finished off season 8 (the final season). Once again they kept you hooked all the way through and brought back some of the characters that you loved to hate from previous seasons. This is another show that you watch and think that Jack Bauer should be what every undercover agent should be but you know that in real life people would be crying out for a public hanging of the man because of his torture techniques to get information. It’s like this with just about every movie, you love the cops that go out and bend the rules to get the bad guy but in the real world, all of those “more enlightened” people would want them fired and thrown into prison. Eventually 24 had to end but it was always an entertaining show and kept me looking forward to the next episode. I’ve got them all so I can watch them again whenever I want. It was a corny ending to the final season but nothing ever works out for Jack and who knows…maybe he’ll be back.

Dexter – This show wasn’t really for us. The premise of a serial killer working for the medical examiner’s office was a little too weird (are we supposed to feel good that the serial killer kills bad guys…..I do. Anytime the bad guys get it, I’m happy). We couldn’t really get into the show or the characters after watching about 6 episodes, however we did purchase the first 3 seasons (it was the only option) so perhaps we’ll come back to the show in the future. But maybe not, it was just weird.

Hot in Cleveland – This show was an absolute riot. Betty White makes the show, her comic timing and line deliveries are perfect, we’re waiting for the second season to see if they can continue to build upon the first. It is a little risqué and goes with some more tongue-in-cheek references but overall it’s a very funny show. Definitely not for the kids but I liked it and hope the second season comes out soon.

Sons of Anarchy – This is a show about a biker gang (don’t judge them because of their tattoos, they’re just people) called the Sons of Anarchy or Sam Crow, among other things. It was an easy show to get into and if you can get past the language, violence and borderline gratuitous nudity, it’s a show you could handle. Somehow this was on FX or something but I don’t know how based on what we saw. We bought Seasons 1 and 2, then were able to get Season 3 shortly after the real season 3 ended. We liked it a lot and hope there will be a Season 4. It’s definitely not for the kids unless you want to do a lot of explaining. Again, they try to suck you in to believing that these guys aren’t really all that bad, they are just a motorcycle club (that runs guns, drugs and anything else for a buck) that’s down on their luck. You come to hate the FBI and ATF agents in the show that go against the club so it’s a show that has you rooting for the bad guys (should I feel guilty?).

Some other strange mini-series that we have watched over the past few months are Rome and Spartacus. These shows are both set around the same time in Rome (duh!) and are close to the same but they are not similar in writing or effect. Rome was an interesting show that was at times overly graphic and contained a lot of bare butt (among other things). Definitely not a show you want to watch with your kids or your parents. However, the characters (and therefore the writing) were very compelling and kept you watching despite the other things in the show that made you wonder why they had to do that. Rome could’ve easily survived without the nudity and such but I am sure they were trying to depict the debauchery that was Rome during the heyday of the empire. Now Spartacus, we picked this up because of the Rome series, but it is another story. The special effects I can only assume were supposed to be 3D but they look like a bad comic book or perhaps an odd takeoff on the old Batman and Robin (“BAM!!!”, “BIFF!!!, “POW!!!”). They just look dumb and make you giggle when you see it. In comparison to Rome, this series makes Rome look like the Amish were the producers. If you watch for more than 5 minutes without seeing nudity (first name Seymour, last name Butts) or something worse, they are slacking and I am certain someone was fired. We’ve watched only a few episodes and it was just too much, little story, lotta other stuff. Perhaps it will get better but I doubt it.

If you have suggestions for other shows or movies that you liked, let us know. We will go out and find them and let you know what we think.

Expectations

2011-02-15T11:43:00.002+08:00

I’ll take a moment to make a comment about workers in China. This is a general comment and is not applicable for everyone but it’s no different than the general comments made all the time in the media. I’ve stayed away from posting stuff that is work related due to what I have seen on the Internet about people being fired for making admittedly bad decisions and posting negative information about their boss, colleagues, company, etc. I don’t think this is quite the same so I will forgo the usual paranoia and post it.

For years we’ve been told that Americans are lazy and don’t want to work, this is why there is migrant (now known as displaced foreigner travelers as opposed to illegal immigrants [call the PC police, radical elements are running amuck on this blog]) labor to do the work that “Americans won’t do”. Low wage jobs or jobs that require someone to work hard are left others to handle, too many people are too good to do this kind of work (or at least that is what they would have you believe. Mike Rowe shows you otherwise, if you don’t know Mike Rowe, you need to watch Dirty Jobs on Discovery Channel).

This isn’t an “American disease” as we have been led to believe. In the US, the job market has been and continues to be very poor and people are scrambling to find work, many are looking at jobs that perhaps 5 years ago they would’ve overlooked but now a job is a job and most people just want to contribute to society rather than sit back and let someone else pay for them to get by. Good people that are hard-working and loyal to their companies have lost their jobs due to circumstances that are outside of their control. In China, there is an expanding job market, especially in the larger cities. So it seems that perhaps the Chinese are now the people that don’t want to work. I’ll give you an example (these events are real; the names of the people have been changed to protect the innocent). A worker accepts a job to work for a company. (After a probation period, the company could choose not to continue to employ the worker if the worker doesn’t show any promise during the probation period.) At that time they understand the salary of the job and the work required, it’s all pretty straight forward. (You should see the resumes here, they contain age, marital status, some even have photos, and many other things that are taboo back in the US..a topic for another time.). So they go through the orientation training (usually between 3 to 5 days) and then begin the actual training for the task they are hired to perform. Then after two weeks on the job (and still within the probation period), they don’t show up to work. The supervisor tries to contact them and cannot contact the worker. This is a violation of the company policy and the worker will be given a verbal reprimand which will go on his permanent record with the company (dun-dun-daah...make the sound with a very ominous undertone). The next day, he comes back to work and is given the verbal reprimand. Then he is supposed to sign a document indicating that he was given the warning and understands the warning. This is when it gets interesting. He declines to sign the document and proceeds to indicate that the job requires him to work too hard and doesn’t pay enough. It’s at that time that he decides to resign (you can’t fire me, I quit!). In China, people don’t quit, they resign. I don’t know why this term is always used but I guess “to quit” has a bad connotation where “to resign” is more of a positive spin on the term. Resigning is more like I left on my terms as opposed to quitting where it’s like you gave up and the company had the last laugh. Perhaps this is cultural but this guy actually decides that it is better to resign than admit he was wrong not to show up to work. We see this “logic” used in so many different scenarios here that it is almost comical. Anytime someone does something wrong, you need to leave them room to wiggle out of actually being wrong. You use terms like “maybe” to describe what might have happened when you know darned well exactly what did happen. This has been probably my biggest hurdle to overcome when an issue comes up. They try to find any possible explanation for what happened (the machine was working right, the lights over the machine weren’t on, the planets weren’t aligned properly…) rather than admit they were wrong or they didn’t do the right thing. They know what happened, you know what happened but you shouldn’t let them know that you know else they lose face. It’s like strange takeoff of the Abbott & Costello “Who’s on first” routine. My personal favorite excuse, "the work instruction doesn't say we should do that every time".

I’ve heard of other similar instances where workers will just not show up to work. In some cases, they change their phone number and do other things to avoid being contacted by their former employer. Many times, if you speak to their co-workers you will hear them talk about the former employee being unhappy with the amount of work required and the low pay. It’s such a strange situation knowing what is happening back home (dude, it’s a job keep working until you find a better one). It’s definitely not an American thing, it can happen anywhere. It’s more about the person and their work ethic and not about their country of origin.

I will take this a step further to talk about what may be the culture here (I can never be sure because so many people tell you different things). People here expect the chance to advance in their company (much like many in the US expect something). When someone takes a job to operate a machine, they can become very skilled at this job and actually enjoy the work but if they don’t see any chance for advancement they will typically seek another job after about 1-2 years with a company. Keep in mind that again, I am talking in generalities but this is what I am told and what I have experienced. People take jobs and may love the job and the company but the grass (bamboo) is always greener somewhere else so they look for another job. This is more true of the younger generation, as people get past 30 and start to have a stable home life (kids…if you call that stable), they seem to be more inclined to find a good paying job and stick with it. The younger kids…not so much. It’s even more evident around this time of year. People collect their New Year’s bonus and then the resignations start. They head home to be with their family and then they decide not to come back to work. It’s much more rare here to find people that have been with the same company for a long time, as opposed to what used to be the normal situation back home (before the economic downturn), people stayed with a job if they liked the company and the work.

Why do I tell you this (besides the fact that it is very informative)? Because of the reason I am an Expat. I am in China to train people to manufacture our products using the equipment and procedures that I know work best. I also try to train them on how to troubleshoot the equipment, determine what is or isn’t a quality product and how to work efficiently among many other things. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t. I am training in two separate departments so I’ve got a lot of ground to cover with a lot of different people. Somehow, I’ve got to give my 18 years worth of experience to people in whatever time I have with them. In one department, we originally hired 6 people, of those only 1 remains. In the other department, we also hired 6 people, only 3 originals remain. Is it me? It’s tough not to take it personally when people you have come to know leave to go off and find other work. In some cases, I was happy to see people go (bad attitudes or very poor work ethic). However when the people I have worked the most with are starting to leave; it becomes much more difficult to accept. One of my best workers told me just before the Chinese New Year that she wanted to resign. She was very upset and crying about her decision and I had a hard time trying to understand why she was leaving even as she talked to me about the decision. We have worked together for 18 months and I think of her as family so it was tough for me to listen and not react negatively to what she was saying. Back home, I would’ve said she was homesick and needed to go home and think before making her decision but since there is a cultural barrier that I may not understand, I could only ask her to reconsider and wait until after the holiday to make a final decision. She’s 22 years old and is an excellent worker. She has a bright future with the company but she will not stay to find out what the future holds for her with this company. She has been to college and therefore is owed a better job than “just being an operator and Team Leader”. I hope it works out for her but there is a little part of me that wishes she finds out that her next job is much worse than this one (then I get to say the oh-so satisfying “I told you so”).

Why do I tell you this? I guess I’m just sharing the frustration of encountering these types of situations. When I have family & friends that are unemployed and are trying to find work, it’s tough to stomach that someone can walk away from a job because they are expected to actually work for their wages (granted the wages in US terms are low but for here, the pay is pretty darned good) or when they feel they can do better elsewhere. It’s not like they have a job when they leave, they just leave and find another job. When people I have trained leave, it means that I have essentially wasted my time on someone that won’t be around when I leave. So I have to start over with the next person and hope that the limited time I have to work with them is enough. This is the role of the Expat! Basically your job is to make sure you don’t have a job. I’m not here to entrench myself so deeply in the facility that any thought of me leaving would destroy the fabric of the universe (this is the one that would bring balance to the force). I am here to show people how to do the job and then go back home. I’m not complaining (not really), I’m just sharing.

Catching Up

2011-02-04T16:23:00.004+08:00

Since it is the Chinese New Year, I am off from work and the kids are out of school (and Tammy is being driven crazy). This gives me a lot of time to get the Blog updated with the most recent activities that are happening. I want to write the blog at least once per week (something my friend Lon has challenged himself to do on his blog so I can’t take credit for the idea) but sometimes I get distracted by other things and don’t find the time to get the post written. Other times, I start the post but never get it completed so it sits in a folder waiting for me to finish the job (which may or may not get done). So I will attempt to catchy everyone up to date in a long post (which is no surprise to anyone).

First, let’s talk about the Chinese and their fireworks. The evening of Feb. 2nd is New Years Eve. Starting about dusk, fireworks started to go off all around us. I’m not talking about the bottle rockets, roman candles or those little sparkle fountains (although these were done as well). I’m talking about the 70+ shot mortar boxes and strings of 5,000 firecrackers. Seriously, it started around 7:00pm and didn’t really finish up until about 12:30am and when it was midnight….forget about it. From our view on the 9th floor in the middle of our apartment complex we could see many fireworks going off in all directions. The best were the ones between buildings where the fireworks were exploding and bouncing off from the apartments. These ones you could feel in your chest every time one exploded in a shower of green and red sparkles. I can’t adequately describe the experience except to say that it probably resembles (just by the sounds) what a war zone would be like during a mortar barrage. It’s fun to watch for about the first hour or so and then it becomes like a constant background noise. Then it ramps up to “these people are crazy” when the midnight battery of fireworks starts exploding all around you. We could see at least 8 different large fireworks displays going off just from standing in one spot. We knew this was coming but it is always a little more than you would expect. We have earplugs so we could sleep but after 12:30, it calmed down enough for us to sleep without them (until the fireworks started again about 7:00am).

Second, since we have returned from Thailand, Tammy has taken it upon herself to learn how to cook Thai food. We (Tammy and I) already really enjoyed Thai cuisine before we went to Thailand but now the family seems to be hooked. We found that one of the hotels held cooking classes on Saturdays and she went to learn (and to escape the madness). She first learned Ribs with Red Curry, Seafood Salad and Spring Rolls. She brought home the food from the class and it was exactly what we tasted in Thailand. So, she decided to go the next week where she would learn Pad Thai, Papaya Salad and Green Curry Chicken. Once again, delicious!!! Since then, we’ve had Red Curry, Masaman Curry, Spring Rolls, Pad Thai and Tom Yang Soup for dinner or lunch. Now, she’ll tell you that maybe we aren’t telling her the truth about the taste of the food but I’ll tell you one secret (and now it’s not a secret). If the food is bad, I’ll tell you. There’s nothing worse than eating a bad meal and saying “This is delicious.” Shouldn’t I tell a little white lie? The answer is simple. If I tell her that something is good, she’s going to cook it again (and again, and again). If it was terrible, that means I’ve got to stomach it again and again (till death do us part) until I finally admit the truth and she gets mad because I lied. It is better with food to be honest up front (just another of Scott’s rules for a good marriage). In this case, it’s no lie. The curry dishes are great (you can make the Tony the Tiger “grrrr-eat” here if you want), the spring rolls taste just like Flavors of Thailand (a restaurant in Jonesboro). She has a little work to perfect the Pad Thai but that’s about getting the right ingredients more than anything else. Once those ingredients are found (if we can find them in China, keep in mind shopping for ingredients is tougher here since we can’t read the labels), I think we’re on the way to Thai delights. She is also scheduled to learn how to make Indian curry and Samosas in the coming month so if I come back to the US a few pounds heavier, you’ll know why.

Third, I found out that my oldest brother now has a blog (you’ll find the link under the links section). Two of the Dudley clan have now decided to take on the blogosphere. Now that I know he’s out there, the gauntlet has been thrown down to keep posting on a more regular basis in order to maintain interest in my blog. There’s a lot of competition out there and now it’s all in the family. I shouldn’t neglect to mention that my niece also has her own blog but I’ll warn you ahead of time, she’s young and in love (insert sound of vomiting here). Her blog relates mainly to her preparations to get married in late June. It’s interesting reading from afar since we don’t have access to hear about the wedding on a regular basis. [In case you didn’t know, Tammy and I eloped to Gatlinburg, TN (the East Coast Vegas) we had very little wedding planning to do. We just scheduled to date and time and headed out.] Anyhow, it is interesting to read how things are going for her and fiancé Doug. I’m sure as the date continues to approach, the stress levels will rise but I think they can handle it. After all, it’s not getting married that creates stress; it’s staying married that creates stress. Sounds like a t-shirt doesn’t it?

Fourth (and speaking of t-shirts), the t-shirts you see here are funny. I am never certain if the people really know what the shirts say or the meaning of the words. Some examples;
* Think Liberation (really, in China?)
* Time’s up, take it if you want it. (worn by a young lady in Shanghai and no, I don’t think she was a working girl)
* Make Love, Not Babies
* Keep the Faith
* F___ my Life (with little hearts around it….and the F-word was spelled out, correctly I might add)
* I love BJ (unfortunately, the shirt is supposed to be I love Beijing but they use an abbreviation for Beijing that has other connotations in English…and I don’t mean Bob Jones. How do I know BJ is Beijing, because in Shanghai they sell the same type of shirt with “I love SH”, not so sure I like that one either.)
* Kiss me, I’m Irish (okay, I made that one up just because it’s funny. The others are real.)
It happens all of the time, we see these shirts and wonder a) where they got them and b) do they realize what they say. I mean, when you buy a shirt, typically you know what it says right? I mean, I don’t buy shirts with Chinese characters without knowing what they say (remember the ObamaMao shirt, I bought it and found out what it said before I ever put it on). Oh, and just so you know this isn’t just a China thing. In Thailand we saw a t-shirt that said “Sleep with me…free breakfast”.

This last note is about a story Tammy found online about an incident in Suzhou. This is a true story folks so enjoy it.
Car hits pet dog, owner forces driver to kneel for an hour
By

Tiffany Ap on Jan 14, 2011
This is a story that will make it so much easier for you to hate on pet owners who dress up their toy dogs in stupid clothing. In nearby Suzhou, a pet dog was accidentally crushed by a passing minivan. How is this news? Just stay with me.

The loss of a pet can be upsetting yes, but at the same time (please pardon my French), shit happens. There's no sense in attacking people over it or forcing people to kneel over your dead pet as an apology, but unfortunately for the driver and passenger of the car in this story, that's a memo the dog owner never received.

An eyewitness who requested to remain anonymous says he was watching from his building when around 12 noon, he saw a green postal minivan hit a dog that'd come out into the street suddenly. When the driver and passenger got out to check, the life had been well snuffed out of the pooch. The owner, a 20-something male, was furious over his dog, demanded 5,000 RMB in compensation, and even started getting physical with the men. When the two men from the minivan didn't have the money to pay up, he forced them to kneel in front of his dead dog's body for one hour.

An older woman who saw the commotion decided to call the police but neither side allowed the police to intervene when they arrived. After their hour of kneeling in the wind and cold was up, the dog owner took the body away and the two men who'd been forced to kneel got up and left without saying a word.

Take a moment to consider

2011-02-03T19:04:00.003+08:00

This is our government at work, in a time of economic uncertainty, with jobs being lost by the thousands, what are they doing about it? Of course, they are seizing websites that dared to broadcast NFL games, TV shows and movies to those of us that wanted to watch but didn’t have the access to the correct TV signal. I guess is what they call focusing “like a laser” on creating jobs. This is a step by the government to take control of websites that allegedly violate copyright laws. Perhaps these sites were bypassing some of the legal issues but they allowed people to see NFL/NBA/MLB, etc. games when they weren’t at home. Did I pay for access….Hell No! Does that mean that I was supporting a criminal enterprise (I didn’t know that Al Capone was a silent partner at channelsurfing.net)? What about all of those people that go to Sports Bars on the weekends to watch games? How about if I invite people over to watch the game? Should the Feds break down my door? For me, this was a way to stay in touch with the local teams but I guess everyone wants their pound of flesh and if they weren’t getting paid…you ain’t getting the games (and we all know that this all revolves around $$$).

Compare this to what is happening elsewhere in the world. The Chinese government maintains the Great Firewall to prevent the citizens from getting “uncontrolled” access to news that may not be favorable to them. A recent example, the situation unfolding in Egypt (isn’t it a shame that Anderson Cooper got bitch-slapped [to be clear, this is sarcasm at its finest]? CNN has been taking a pummeling in the ratings and it’s well deserved). Try searching Egypt on a search engine in China and nothing comes up, it’s been blocked. Why? Good question. In Egypt, the government has shut down the internet and attempted to shut down many other outlets for people to communicate with the outside world. Isn’t this same thing that the Iranian government did during their “crisis” over the summer? You think this can’t happen in the US? Really?!?! Wake up and start paying less attention to American Idol and People magazine and start watching what is happening in DC. Consider if you will, a bill that is being proposed in Congress now that will give the President a “kill switch” for the Internet. This bill is sponsored by Joe Lieberman and Susan Collins (isn’t it a shame that the “Republicans” from Maine seem to always be on the wrong side of every issue, Olympia Snowe is pushing another similar bill to make my point even further...ladies, please do us a favor and move to Canada) and is probably not getting the recognition from the media outlets that it should. Consider the ramifications of having this switch; is it really a good thing?

All I wanted to do was to watch a football game, is that so wrong?

Wabbit Season

2011-02-02T16:27:00.002+08:00

It’s that time of year again….Spring Festival which starts at Chinese New Year and ends at the Lantern Festival. So much of the world celebrated the New Year Jan 1st but in Asia, many countries celebrate it on Feb. 3rd. This year is the year of the rabbit in the Chinese zodiac. I won’t bore you with details on the rabbit but the one interesting thing about this year is that many of the Chinese that follow the older traditions of China will purchase a rabbit for a pet for 2011. They raise the bunny through the year and at the end of the year, they eat it (sorry rabbit, trix are for kids). This will bring them luck through the year, although it doesn’t do much for the bunny. I guess that during the year the rabbit is lucky to be fed very well but at the end of the year, the luck runs out (insert Elmer Fudd laugh here, I’m having wabbit stew). No different than the rabbit’s foot to bring luck back home, lucky for the person with the rabbit’s foot, not so lucky for the rabbit. This only holds true for the rabbit as far as I know. I don’t think that for the year of the Rat (Tiger, Ox, etc.) that they raise the animal and then eat it at the end of the year but you never really know do you. Perhaps it is because the rabbit is just so darned delicious, who really knows. All I know is that the rabbit leg I eat as Baschu is really good and I’m getting a hankering for some rabbit.

Anyhow, during this time of the year is the so-called “human migration” in China where most of the Chinese head home to spend time with family and friends. I would say that this holiday is much like Thanksgiving or Christmas in the US. It’s about spending time with your family and friends and eating a lot of food. So during this week, the airports, train stations, bus stations are very busy as people head all over the country to get back home. People can’t buy tickets more than 10 days in advance of their departure so about two weeks ago you started to see long lines outside of the train ticket stations around the city as people tried to get on the train they wanted to get home. If they couldn’t get the train ticket, they chose the bus although the bus ride can be very long. It’s cheaper as well so that also plays a role in what happens here. I think the worst day for travel will actually be this Sunday when people are trying to get back to work for Monday morning. I’ve seen the train station when I thought it was crowded, I really haven’t experienced anything like what they go through every year at this time. This same “get out of town” mentality actually holds true for many of the Expats as well, they head out of the country for this holiday if they can. Somehow, it’s gotten a bad rap and everyone says you don’t want to be here through this time in China due to the endless array of fireworks going off at any time and because everything is closed. Well, it’s really not as bad as all that. There are a lot of shops closed but not all shops close their doors because people still have to make a living. As far as the fireworks, the holiday officially started on Friday but we’ve heard only limited fireworks and nothing that lasted more than a few minutes. Tonight (Lunar New Year’s eve) will be much different since this is really the New Year celebration so we expect fireworks to be going off at all hours and for long periods of time. A pair of earplugs and it’s not a problem. But ask me tomorrow morning and I may have a different answer for you.

So, now to the point of the post, today we went for lunch at Mr. Pizza (still not the point, hang in there). While we were eating a woman came up and asked if we were the Dudley’s (no autographs please). It turns out that her family is also the Dudleys. Strange but true, of all places to find another family with the Dudley name, Suzhou, China. She chatted for a moment or two and then headed out the door. The other Dudleys have been here only 6 months and her daughter goes to SSIS with Warren and Jacob, although she is in the 11th grade. It was just odd. First, there aren’t that many foreigners still in Suzhou at this time of year. Most get out of town if they can afford it. With our Christmas trip to Thailand, we couldn’t afford another trip. Second, that they have the same last name (although they don’t seem to be related in any way but who knows). Third, that we would all be eating lunch at the same place during this time just seems very strange. It’s a small world people; I mean what are the odds of this happening?

Thailand - Final Thoughts

2011-01-23T15:36:00.000+08:00

This is the final word I’ll have on Thailand for the moment, just to try and wrap up the experience. We spent most of our last days on the beach but we took one trip around the island on Thursday to see what we could. It rained on Thursday so we felt it would be a good time to spend the time in a van driving around the island but unfortunately for us, the rain never seemed to let up. We started at the nearby Big Buddha and then went around to various other spots we selected from all of the information we could find on the web. Our driver, Dan was a pleasant guy that we had met previously. He gave us a lot of information about each area and Thailand as a whole. The temples or Wats were nice and much different than we were used to seeing in China but with the heavy rains, it never really had the impact that perhaps it might’ve had otherwise. As we drove around the island, we noticed the change in scenery from the heavily populated, more modern tourist areas of the island to the more local flavor of the southern side of the island. We rode through a rubber plantation and saw the taps on the trees for getting the rubber from the trees. It is similar to getting sap from trees to make maple syrup. Unfortunately for the farmers that sapped these trees, with the rain, no one would purchase the sap because it was degraded from the water. We also saw a palm tree plantation to get coconuts. It was much different as we rode around the island to see the rather remote Southern end of the island to the more densely populated and modern Northern end of the island. Dan gave us an offer to come to Thailand and stay in his home village with his family anytime we want to come back and experience the real Thailand. It sounded interesting but it wasn’t something that we could do with the kids. Take away the TV. Computer, PSPs and other games and the kids would be like meth addicts going through withdrawals…not pleasant. Although it rained practically the whole day, we still got to see many of the sights we wanted to see (at a much quicker pace).

The next two days would be back to the beach to enjoy the sun and surf. What else did we do, we rode on go karts. At the track, there were two speed options, 35 kph and 60 kph. We chose the 35 kph because it seemed the 60 kph would be a lot more speed than needed and I didn’t want the kids to be killed on a go kart track in Thailand. It was an interesting track surrounded by palm trees. While we rode, they were knocking coconuts out of the trees to keep them from dropping on people as they went by. It is a real problem for people around here and they have to ensure to keep the trees coconut free to prevent someone from being killed by one of these things. We had to wear helmets for the track which made it even more fun to ride. We started on the track and it was okay, the speed wasn’t too much but there was little in the way of tread on the tires so you would slide around the corners. While we were getting used to the speed, I would pass the kids and then slow down to keep us together and there was a lot of passing back and forth. However, Jacob then put on his game face and once he passed, it was all over. He kept the pedal down and rode like a madman. The pictures Tammy took show how serious he was in his quest to win the cup (the coconut cup). Warren somehow managed to take a turn to the left on a right hand turn and went off the course. I slowed down to be sure he was okay and he was laughing as the track workers all ran over to get him back on the course. It didn’t slow Jacob down at all and as I was slowing down to get ready to turn in on the final lap, he zipped on past me with a very nice laugh and a comment that I couldn’t hear due to my helmet but I’m sure it was some trash talking. The course was pretty small so I would’ve hated to see what the 60 kph ride would’ve been.

There were times we saw things that made us wonder about foreigners that come to these places. Much like China, tips were not commonplace and so were not expected (and unlike in the US, tips were appreciated and not figured into the salary for the people). However, we watched some Westerners and wondered what they did before they came to Thailand. One the beach, we actually saw a US older couple paying the vendor in US Dollars. US Dollars!!!! It’s like a 30-to-1 exchange and who knows how much they were paying but they were way out of bounds. How many people walk around without local currency? It was stupid because they were overpaying, perhaps they had money to throw away and didn’t really care but if that was the case, how about throwing that money my way. I’ve got two growing boys to feed.

We stopped into an English Pub one night to eat to see how the food was. It was actually really good although the kids got hamburgers, Tammy had the Thai food and I had Bangers and Mash (after all, it is a British pub right). The owner was obviously British and we spoke with him and asked why he came to Ko Samui. He indicated that after his divorce, he decided to start over and since he had traveled to Ko Samui in the past he decided that is what he would do. So we went from England to Thailand and opened up a restaurant. Can you imagine the kind of guts it takes to make a move like that? He told us about how the 15 straight days of rain impacted the businesses all over the island. They had no power for 3 days and basically stayed open just to cook the food in the freezer. He said it could’ve been much worse but the economic issues around the world have led to a big decline in the tourist trade in Ko Samui but hopefully things would get better.

The shopkeepers all around the island were so much different than we had experienced in China. In China, as soon as you walk in the door to a shop, they are asking you want you want and showing their stuff. Heck, you can’t walk by without hearing the “looka, looka” routine. It varies from place to place but it can go from just a friendly “please look in my shop” to a more direct grabbing at you to usher you into a shop. In Thailand, it was totally different. You would walk into a shop and sometimes there was no one there. The keeper might stroll in when they see someone inside but there was never an awkward silence as they watched you and waited to pounce. They gave you space if you wanted it and left you to make a decision on if you wanted to buy or not buy something. There was the haggling but we didn’t really do too much like China. In China, it’s a sport but in Thailand you didn’t feel much like going through the haggling. You could knock down the price a little and if you did, then it was okay. In China, you should always start bargaining at about ½ of the price they start (and in some cases, you need to do more than that, the bottom line is never love anything and if you think you are being overcharged, you probably are. Don’t convert the money into USD, always consider the cost for the locals and go from there.). For some shops, you had to take off you sandals before walking in just to keep the sand out. We saw one shop keeper praying outside his shop before opening one morning. He was lighting incense and bowing to his god. There was also another shop where the woman took the money we gave to her and touched it to many small idols around the front of the shop. Perhaps this was a way of thanks for the first sale of the day. It was strange to see but we didn’t stare. They were just so friendly it was like you were walking with friends shopping. In the one store where we bought many things, the woman would bring down the prices as we bought more. We didn’t ask for it but as we added, how about this, she would drop the price on another item. We bought a lot of stuff from her one day and then went back on the Saturday before we left to ensure we had everything we would want as a souvenir.

The toilets in Thailand were the cleanest toilets I had ever seen. There was never the nasty smell of a public toilet in China which is like the rest stop toilets in many places in the US. Every toilet was kept clean and smelling fresh. I don’t know how they did it but never once did you walk in to a toilet and wonder “What died in here?” Now this doesn’t mean that sometimes I knew I wasn’t at home when one of the female cleaning ladies would walk into the men’s room look at me and continue to do their job.

Overall we loved Thailand. Granted we were on an island but everyone was so laid back and it didn’t seem to have the same “chasing the $$$” attitude we see a lot in China. The people didn’t seem as concerned about having the cars, TVs, and all of the stuff. They actually seemed to value the important things, friends and family. It was so different; it was probably the best and worst vacation we’ve been on. The best because it was so relaxing, we had nothing specific to get done and did what we wanted, when we wanted. The worst because we had to leave and go back to the real world. When we got to Bangkok, we recognized immediately that we were headed back to China. We got in line to check-in to the flight to Shanghai and the Chinese were obviously too important to wait in line. Once again, they showed that they don’t understand how to queue in a line. They created their own line so they could check in first because they are so important. They also reminded us of the need to push and shove regardless of the situation. The visit to Thailand actually soured us on returning just due to what we experienced at the airport. I know it’s not all Chinese people but man, there are a lot that just feel the need to be first. We were headed back so the vacation was over the moment we set foot in Bangkok. While in Thailand, we found out that many of the hotels won’t allow bookings to come from “certain countries” because they don’t want those people around due to the attitudes the owners get from this group of people. They never specifically said which countries they were talking about but we knew. And that is where we were headed. Welcome back to China!!!

Thailand beaches

2011-01-09T14:57:00.001+08:00

Our second day in Thailand revolved around the beach (as would many of the other days in Koh Samui). We had checked the elephant trek from our to do list and now it was time for some rest & relaxation on the beach. In Koh Samui, the best beach was Chaweng so we woke up, ate breakfast and prepared to go to the beach. We had a car pick us up at the Villa and then we dropped off at McDonald’s of all places which was our starting destination to the beach. We walked past McDonalds (not without noticing a few new menu items, the double Big Mac and the Chicken and Ham pie. The double Big Mac….really, and we wonder why people are so fat) and a Starbucks as we passed through a small mall to find the road leading to the beach. We walked down the road and it changed from a paved path to a smaller path through the palm trees and could smell the salt air and hear the waves as we got closer to the water. The beach was exactly what we expected, a very nice sandy beach with good size waves crashing in. We walked down the beach a short while to get away from one of the major entry points (and therefore one of the more crowded sections) until we found a place where we could rent some chairs (50 Baht each, less than $2 for the day…compare that to the prices for beaches in the US) so keep off the sand a little. We moved the chairs into the sun, Tammy put on her basting oil and the kids and I slathered on the SPF 50 stuff so we didn’t get fried. The last time we went to the beach I was lobster red after the first day which I didn’t want to happen again. The beach wasn’t so crowded with people, at least not as many as I would’ve thought so you could get some distance between yourself and the others around you.

Since I am a pessimistic person, I’ll mention the negatives about the beach first;
· The speedos and the bikini bathing suits. I don’t know if the inventor of these articles of clothing ever envisioned the people that would be wearing these things. There were more people in self-denial walking around in these things than you could imagine. Now I know that the Europeans are a lot more “accepting” than the typical US person but c’mon people! This was ridiculous. The old men wearing speedos with the guts hanging over the suit….scary. Even more scary were these older men taking pictures of each other in these suits. I mean what is that all about? I can’t imagine being at the Mrytle Beach with a guy saying “Hey Scott, how about taking a photo of me in the surf?” Um, how about “NO!” I can accept that some people can pull off this look but those that cannot (and you know who you are), why would you subject yourself and everyone else to your illusions. This is also true for many of the women. If your belly is bigger than your boobs, it’s time for a one piece suit (and a robe!). Flabby, out of shape people were not the target market for these items so help a brother out, don’t wear them. If people tell you that you look good in that suit a) check their mental state and b) check their vision. You aren’t 17 anymore (and probably at 17 you couldn’t pull it off) so accept your age. People are staring at you because you are hot, it’s because they can’t believe you are actually crazy enough to believe you look good.
· The beach marketers. On our way to the beach we were stopped by Westerners on a motorcycle asking if we spoke English. They gave us a book of coupons and started in on a well-rehearsed speech about us winning a contest, blah, blah, blah. We didn’t have to buy anything, etc. We listened politely for some time since it appeared we had the option of 3 prizes. Then comes the final straw. “You can pick up your prize by taking a taxi to our offices and listening to a 90 minute presentation”. WHAT!?!? 90 minutes, this is when it went downhill for them. Tammy isn’t giving up 90 minutes on the beach for anyone or anything so this wasn’t going to happen. Bring the kids, we’ll tell the friends you are going to meet on the beach, etc. If you do this, we make 100 Euros (which would be close to probably 7000 Baht), help us out. Sorry folks, ain’t gonna happen! 90 minutes, they had to be crazy. This is the same old time share, high pressure sales techniques used back home. Sorry folks, we’re off to the beach!
· Beach vendors. On the beach, every 2-3 minutes you would have a Thai person carrying some trinkets (jewelry, silk, souvenirs, etc.) come by and slow down in front of you to show you their wares. Now I have to point out that they were very polite, if you didn’t want something you could shake your head and they would move on. There was no pressure to buy anything so although it was somewhat of a nuisance, it could’ve been much worse.

The positive things about the beach;
· The food options that were being made fresh in front of you. There were women carrying a small grill and all the “fixins” to cook food for you right there (they had a wooden “balance” over their shoulders which had the small grill on one side and the fixins on the other side). They had stuff on a stick (whole fish, squid, chicken butt, chicken shoulder) for the grill and other things to eat. They made a papaya salad right there for you, as spicy as you wanted (this was awesome!). They also carried rice and other things to eat. There were other women that had fruit, specifically mangoes and pineapples, cut fresh for you. All of these items were very cheap, delicious and allowed you to remain on the beach and enjoy lunch.
· The twins. On the other side of the spectrum from the people wearing the wrong beach attire were the people that wore limited beach attire. There were two European women that decided that they needed to walk the beach without wearing a bikini top. It wasn’t enough to walk from the North End to the South End of the beach but they also had to make the return trip as well (of course). Now, in the information we had about Thailand it seemed to be frowned upon to expose yourself but I don’t think there was any enforcement of a dress code for the beach. We didn’t see anyone else flaunting it as directly as these women but I am certain that they weren’t the only ones who figured that they could take advantage of the opportunity to get some color. We understood from others that the beaches on some of the smaller, neighboring islands (where they held the snorkeling tours and stuff) that these women would’ve been overdressed for the beach but we never went there so it’s strictly hearsay on my part to repeat this. What was the funniest about this was one day when another family we knew from Suzhou (another small world story) was setting up next to us, the women walked by (in full view of the kids). They walked over to the mom and asked her the time (as you can imagine, even a watchband tan line was unacceptable to these women). It was funny to see this happen and it seems that this episode didn’t harm the kids (although it probably didn’t do any good either). Another lady that was near us on another day had 3 different bathing suits. She would change between the suits for reasons I don’t know but she would do it right there on the beach. She could change out the top without too much on an issue but the bikini bottoms were another matter. She actually would sit in her seat, remove the one bottom and then place on the other bottom. We were sitting behind her so we got the full moon/buttcrack treatment. We were just hoping the kids weren’t looking in from the water to get the view from the other side of the world (and you know what I mean). There was another woman that had on a strapless bikini top that wasn’t quite sized correctly. Anytime she moved around she was in danger of bearing all to the world. Then she went into the water and we knew that we were “seconds from disaster” which is what happened when the first big wave came in and knocked her down. Thanks for the memories!
· The surf was very nice, the water was clear and we had large enough waves to get out there and get knocked around a little. We don’t really go into the water to swim as much as just have a little bit of fun and the big waves that would crash over you would do just that. Being on the chair, it was just nice to hear the sound of the ocean as you laid back and relaxed in the sun. It was hot so every 20-30 minutes you had to hit the water to cool down a little.
· It was the beach (as my wife continues to say, there are no negatives about the beach).

As I may have mentioned before, there were dogs all over the island and this included the beach. Now these weren’t packs of wild dogs (or didn’t seem to be such) just domesticated animals that were left behind. These dogs would come by and sit near you whenever you ate. They didn’t give you the patented stare and drool as we knew from Shadow. They would just lay down somewhere near you and if you wanted to drop them a morsel or two, they would take it. Sometimes when we were just walking down the street from the Villa, we would attract one dog that would follow us to our destination. It would then sit there for awhile before deciding that we weren’t going to feed it and it would head off to another destination (or find another sucker). You felt badly for the dogs (being dog lovers) but there wasn’t much you could do about it. We actually read in the local paper that the previous year they were trying to reduce the dog count on the island. They were using blowguns with poisoned darts to kill off many of the dogs (think about it blowguns and poisoned darts, sounds like something that would’ve been done a long time ago). It wasn’t really anything you wanted to read about but it was what they had to do to try and gain control of the situation. Recently they opened a dog shelter to try and work another angle to the same problem. Everywhere you went you saw dogs and 7-11 stores.

Now we visited three beaches while in Koh Samui and saw others on a trip around the island. We went to Chaweng and it was the best beach on the island. From the other family that stayed on the Lamai Beach section of the island, it was a nice beach but very small. We also went to the Big Buddha beach (where we stayed), it was okay but it was also a small beach when the tide was in. Finally, we went to Bo Phut beach. This was a very pebbly beach with very calm water. Again, it was okay but Chaweng was the best beach and the one we went back to 3 times during our stay. From a general standpoint, the beaches went as follows, the Southern beaches were very rocky and not beaches where you would go out on the sand (because there wasn’t any sand) to get a tan, the Western beaches were more muddy and dirty. The Northern beaches were pebbly and the water was calmer and the Eastern beaches were where you wanted to be to get out and get a tan as well as get in the water.

Night Life

2011-01-08T17:35:00.002+08:00

The nightlife on Koh Samui was everything you might imagine, if you imagine it’s like Vegas. We went to a bar on the beach to get a beer just to enjoy drinking a beer on the beach. We noticed that all of the bars had a bunch of younger women, many more than was needed for the customers in the establishment, two customers, 6 girls. These girls weren’t dressed like working women (and you know what I mean) but they also weren’t heading to church either. It was interesting to see so many of these younger women just sitting together or playing pool, whatever while waiting for a paying customer (and I think they were pretty much planning on men but who really knows).

I have to set the scene here so bear with me. We weren’t staying near the hotspots for the nightlife on Koh Samui, those were along the beaches at Lamai and Chaweng. We’re in the family friendly section of the island (or so we believed). There were bars by the piers, so there were fishing boats in the water right up next to the bar’s patio area. The bar patio had two sections, one with tables that was close to the water (and therefore the boats) and one with these odd “beach chairs”. There were families sitting out on the decks of the boats so you had an odd mix of families working on their nets or just sitting about the boat talking and the bar customers all within mere meters of each other. Lingering over the area was the mixed smells of bad perfume, cigarette smoke and dead fish. Okay, on to the story.

When we arrived, we got to sit in the strangely uncomfortable beach chairs facing the water but also with a couple of tables between us and the water. At one of the tables was one Western male (seemed to be from the former Soviet Union, now one of the “stans” based on his accent), three Thai males and three Thai women. On the table was a bucket of ice, glasses and several bottles of whiskey, vodka, scotch, whatever. One young lady was the designated bartender and would almost continuously mix drinks and hand them out. We’re not certain where these were going because we never saw any of them drinking as fast as she was pouring but it didn’t seem to stop her from topping off the drinks. At first it seemed like the women were dates but it turns out that they worked at the bar. One would go sit on the arm of the chair for the Westerner and he would grab her butt and it seemed they were together. Then she would move and another girl would take her place and her butt would get “caressed” and soon she would leave and the first one would come back. It was odd to watch as we seemed to be in a moment of understanding. We recognized that these girls were there as bait and he would drink and then get stuck with a large bar bill. He wasn’t going home with any of them, at least not from what we could tell. They didn’t seem real interested in him but they had to play their part to ensure his group stayed and continued to drink. The other Thai males received little attention from the girls. In fact, one of the girls sat down on the armchair of the bartender and they were touching each other in odd ways that would indicate that perhaps they had no interest in men at all. It was kind of surreal but interesting to watch.

What made it even more interesting is that less than 10 feet away was the Thai fishing family sitting on their boat, mending nets, talking, eating and watching. For them this was like a night at the movies. They were only missing the popcorn to be sitting at the drive through. We watched them and the table and enjoyed the show. However, we received little attention from the staff at the bar. I guess a man with his wife kind of threw off their game plan and they didn’t know how to react. If the chairs were more comfortable, we would’ve had a second beer and continued to watch this odd interplay happening in front of us but the seats were so bad that we left after the first beer. We actually had to get up and go to the bar to pay the tab as opposed to them bringing the bill.

The game we saw is similar to what happens here in Suzhou at some bars but the bars here like that here offer a wider array of “services” if you are willing to pay (and if you like to take the risk that you might go home with something more than just fond memories from Suzhou).

Another night going to the 7-11, we also noticed one other aspect of the island life. Sitting outside the 7-11 in plain sight were two guys smoking something other than cigarettes (Hello Cheech and Chong). We hadn’t seen any of this before then but that night sitting out on the porch at the bungalow, we also detected the odor of the wacky weed (and by detected, I’m not talking about a faint odor, we were craving some cheetoos within minutes of stepping outside). We also noticed it several other times when we were outside in the evening. There were other villas around ours so it could have come from any one of them but it was like someone made a bonfire of the stuff. It was crazy.

The last thing I will mention is something called the Full Moon Party. Each month, when the moon was full (duh), there would be boats that would pick people up to take them to a nearby island of Koh Tao (and by nearby I mean about 90 minutes by speedboat). The people would begin arriving at the pickup areas and start drinking in preparation for the party. Then after dark you would begin to see the speedboats come in to shore and the people board them. These boats weren’t small but they weren’t very large either. Perhaps 14-20 passengers would fit on the boat without too much of an issue. We watched as they would pack these boats with people (already drinking) carrying their booze for the ride and head out into the night. All you could see were the blinking lights disappear into the blackness. No life vests, no safety involved as they filled the boats to capacity and then some. Then they headed out for several hours of partying and after 1:00am, they would start to being people home. Tan informed us that the departure from the island was very chaotic as the boats would indicate they were leaving and people would push and shove their way on a boat to avoid being left behind. Again, no body count, just fill the boat and take the 90 minute ride across open water to Koh Samui. Then it’s find a taxi and go back to your hotel to sleep it off. Crazy stuff, even for the younger generation. We saw many people arrive to buy the tickets to the party and as I indicated, we watched many of the boats fill up as the partygoers left to take the trip. We saw many young people on the island during our vacation and could not imagine being 22-25 years of age and being allowed to go out on our own to Koh Samui. All of the temptations that we saw (and knowing that we didn’t see half of the seedier side of life on the island) that were available. Aiya!

Now I say all this not to say that Thailand is the devil’s playground but just as an observation about what is available. This is probably true just about anywhere in the world where you go. Sometimes these “options” are more obvious and in your face and if you want to find it, it’s available if you know where to look. Although these things were there, it did not sour us on Koh Samui or Thailand. It was just more obvious here than what we are accustomed to seeing (or not seeing).

Thailand - Park I

2011-01-02T20:33:00.003+08:00

It’s been a crazy last 3 months for us, a lot of travel both individual and together to end 2010. We decided we should take advantage of this opportunity to get out and see a little more of this region of the world while we were still here. So we made the decision to go to Thailand and spend our Christmas holiday on the beaches of Ko Samui (also can be spelled as Koh Samui, I’m not sure which is correct).

We packed on Friday night and made ready to leave out for Pudong airport early Saturday morning. Saturday I got up early, showered and made some coffee to wake up. Shortly after the coffee was made and just as Tammy got up to shower, the lights went out (along with everything else). Damnit! I assumed we blew a fuse with too many heaters running. I went around and turned off the outlets and went to look at the fuse box (in the dark, it wasn’t yet 7:00). Nothing was tripped but I still flipped each and every fuse to ensure that they were all reset. Nothing happened but I did the Chinese thing (oh-oh, I’m starting to become a local). I continued to flip each and every switch thinking perhaps there was another trick to this. After the 3rd time with nothing happening, I went out into the hallway and noted that the hall light wasn’t working. Other buildings around us had power but I could not see lights on in our building. Upon further review, our building had lost power for whatever reason and there was no hot water or heat. Now, this could be thought of as some kind of ominous warning sign (similar to the Amityville Horror, “Get out!”) but we tried not to look to far into it. Tammy had not showered and had a decision to make, shower and freeze or go without showering. She put her hair up and made the call, no shower (no surprises there, the water temp would’ve been freezing and that is a really bad start to the day, no shower was actually the better option). The power did come back on about 20 minutes before we left but there was no time left to shower so it was a test of deodorant day.

At the Pudong International Airport we checked in and looked for a currency exchange station to change our Chinese Yuan for the Thailand Baht (The Baht is about 6-to-1 versus the Yuan and about 30-to-1 versus the Dollar). Oddly enough, when we found the place, the agent indicated they had no Thai Baht. Really, a currency exchange center without currency from every country in the region?!?! That seemed strange since I had never encountered this problem before but what could we do? I shrugged and hoped that I could get the money changed out in Bangkok. We ate our PB&J sandwiches in the airport and waited on our flight to “paradise”. Lucky for me it seems the European couple sitting next to me on the plane also had a problem with their shower in the morning and the deodorant just wasn’t up to par. We’ve all heard how the Europeans don’t have the same hygiene standards as the US, well they were holding up their end of the deal (and not in a good way). It was a short 4 hour flight to Bangkok where we had a 3 hour layover to grab some food and get ready for the very short 1 hour flight. There is one interesting thing to note about flying on Chinese airlines. They have a standard Western toilet on the plane (well, duh) but you have to remember that many of the Chinese are accustomed to a squatty potty and that’s what they are comfortable with. They believe the Western toilet is dirty because everyone’s touched it with their butts so it’s not like the squatty which has fewer germs (nothing to sit on, nothing to spread the germs). Because of this, you will see shoe prints on the toilets in many restrooms (as the ladies, they see it all the time) and it was no different on the plane. There were shoe prints on the toilet seat. Consider that for a moment; the size of the restroom on a plane, the angle of the walls, etc and then think about how you would squat on this toilet. It can’t be comfortable and if you hit turbulence, it’s got to be much more difficult to keep your balance. Too much information….perhaps but it’s probably something you didn’t know (and didn’t want to know).

The Bangkok airport had interesting architecture where everything looked like big tunnels/tubes. It had some gardens around the terminals that you can see from the walkways. It’s really a nice airport and not like we expected. We had to process through customs, pick up our bags and then re-check them because we changed airlines. We also changed our cash here but we got robbed by the exchange place. I know the exchange rate was 6 Baht to 1 RMB but they gave me 4 Baht to 1 RMB and had a nice exchange fee just to add insult to injury. [SCOTT’S TRAVEL ADVICE: Before you leave the US use a place like Bank of America to exchange money just to have some pocket money for the country where you are traveling for food or whatever at the airport. Then wait and use the ATMs for your money, you pay a fee but you get a much better exchange rate.] Anyhow, there’s a good food court in the concourse with both Western and Asian options. The boys saw Burger King and their decision was made. Tammy and I noticed the Thai food area and immediately went over and got a Noodle Soup and Pad Thai. We both really like Thai food so we were looking forward to the trip for the food as much as the beach (well, almost as much). Then it was time to board the flight and head to the island. We used the ramp stairs to disembark from the plane and were picked up by a trolley car (you know, open car with seats facing each other that can seat about 20 people) to the “terminal”. The terminal was designed to look like a hut with no walls and just a roof. That’s exactly what it was; it was a wooden roof and no walls with a luggage carousel in the middle. Seriously, it was like stepping into an airplane terminal from Gilligan’s Island (it was a little surreal). Although it was raining, it was nice and warm outside (about 9:00 pm) about 80 degrees (when we left China it was in the 20’s). We had a driver meet us at the airport to take us to the Villa Tannamera, our home for the next week.

Now, I have to mention the “small world” thing again. At the Pudong Airport, we ran into the SSIS Elementary school principle and his family. It turns out that they were also headed to Thailand and they were on our flight to Bangkok. We never really asked for their final destination but when we got to our terminal for the flight to Ko Samui, there they were. They were on an earlier flight than us so we wished each other a good vacation and went on our separate ways. Well, when we arrive at the Villa who do we see sitting out on the deck? That’s right, the principal and family. This was really strange because there are a huge number of places to stay on the island and the chances that they would not only be at the same place but in the bungalow right across the pool, that has to be odds that Vegas would love.

At the Villa, we were met by Tan, the resident manager. Tan showed us to our bungalow and gave us a brief introduction to the place. A quick description, the kids shared a room with two beds and a shower that had partially open windows (meaning the window had two sections but was never fully closed so the local creatures could get in). The Master Bedroom was across the hall and had an open shower, meaning there was no ceiling over the shower area. The toilet was just under a ceiling but the shower, you looked up and you saw sky. You have to remember that this was an island getaway and wasn’t a place where you would have someone wiping your backside when you clapped your hands (Wipers!). It only had AC in the two bedrooms and no AC in the kitchenette/living room. There was a porch around the front and side that face the swimming pool. Then, just a 30 meter walk away was the beach which was the reason for the choice of this hotel. The rain had stopped by now so we just soaked it all in and started to get ready for “island time”. We knew there were some things we wanted to do but mostly we wanted to relax and isn’t that the goal of every vacation.

Another pleasant surprise was that when we turned on the TV (it was the kids, really) and we got Fox News. Woo-Hoo, Fox News!!! We traveled all the way to Thailand to see Fox News…Sheperd Smith, Bill O’Reilly, Mike Huckabee, Glenn Beck, the morning show, etc. In China, we get CNN and BBC which may give us news but it’s not the same. I know there are those that believe that Fox is biased but from the perspective of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, it’s straight and everything else is crooked. This is the same for the “news outlets” that had the monopoly for years. We REALLY missed Fox News and we enjoyed the chance to watch it again even if only for a short time.

The next morning, we got up and dressed in our shorts and sandals and took the long 20 step walk to breakfast. The Villa offered a basic breakfast (coffee, juice, some cereal options, milk or yogurt and toast or croissant) that turned out to be a pleasant surprise. They offered eggs if you wanted them for extra cost so Jacob took full advantage and had an omelet every day (along with the full complement of the other options; cereal, milk, apple juice and toast, he was killing me with the extra $3 every day on our bill). Tan spoke with us about what we could do and how to get things done. Tan turned out to be the perfect host for us, we could tell him every morning what we wanted to do and he would make the arrangements (I am sure this would be similar to other places on the island) for us. If we wanted a car and driver, he would make the arrangements. If we need laundry done, he would have it done. It was all about the service he provided to us that made the trip work. He would talk to us about our customs and the Thai customs. We usually spent 15-20 minutes just talking to him every morning after we ate breakfast. He is a nice man and worked very hard to make us feel welcome.

The first day we decided to do the elephant trek where we got to ride on an elephant on a jungle trek and see one of the waterfalls on the island. We arranged for the car to get us and when it did, it was a little surprise for us. It was a pickup truck with bench seats in the back that were covered with a tarp (much like traveling in the back of a pickup in the Army). We could see out the sides and watch the scenery as we drove around to get to the elephant trek. Some observations on the ride;
· Motorcycles are everywhere in Thailand, not electric scooters, motorcycles of all shapes and sizes. It was like the e-bikes in China, families were riding on the motorcycles, individuals, etc.
· Gas was sold on the side of the road in bottles for the motorcycles. It looked like shelves of whiskey bottles but it was actually gas.
· They drive on the wrong side of the road in Thailand
· There were sandbags along many of the road and signs noting flooding around the island. In November they had 15 straight days of rain and there were huge floods all over the island which had a very negative impact on the locals.
· There were small, street-side eateries everywhere. Little stalls, some with a few tables and others with no tables. These, along with Thai massage shops were everywhere on the route. We also saw a 7-11 at virtually every other intersection, these were everywhere like a Waffle House in the southern US.

We arrived at the elephant trek without much incident. We were late arriving but it didn’t really seem to matter, we were on island time. We could see many elephants milling about with their keepers and others with people aboard heading out on their trek. There were also 4x4 trucks with seats on top of the truck and bench seats on back. We didn’t know what those were for but we found out later. We walked over to the platform to get ready to climb aboard the elephants. They could come up and you would grab the rope to help you to swing over to your seat and then tie the strap to keep you “locked in”. Jacob and I climbed aboard our elephant and headed out in front of Warren and Tammy. Our “driver” had purple feet and I wasn’t really sure why until later but it was to identify him and his elephant. His elephant had a purple spot on his head so you knew which animal went to which driver by the colors (color matching, a novel concept). The driver was a young guy and he guided the elephant using his feet on the ears of the elephant. A little tap on the lower right ear turned the elephant to the right. He also used voice commands to get the elephant to do what he wanted (as much as you can get something that large to do what you want, it was quite obvious to me that if the elephant decided to do what it wanted, that’s what we all were going to do). It was a bumpy, herky-jerky ride but we set off and walked around the area. You thought you would have whiplash at first but once you became accustomed to the movement, it wasn’t all that bad. Along the way we passed cages of monkeys that the driver used a stick to get them to turn and face our direction. There were also some deer, birds and alligators that we passed by. We went on a trek through the “jungle” and walked alongside a small stream and then passed by a small traditional village with the slightly raised house and the straw roofs. You could see the mixture of the trees, the coconut palms mixed in with the standard trees, you could see where one type of tree stopped and the others began. It was very interesting to see the different types of trees. Just after the village the elephants made the decision it was snack time. We had purchased some bananas to feed the elephants but it wasn’t enough. Their trunk would come back and you would give them one green banana and they would grab it and eat it and then reach back for more. Since we had very few bananas, they started to forage a little for some extra food. The drivers got off the elephants and allowed us to sit up on the neck of these animals as opposed to being perched on a chair on the back of the elephants. This is when we got the real feel of the animal. They had tough leather skin and just long, coarse hairs on the heads of these beasts. I had a hard time keeping a good balance while sitting in this position but it was kind of fun, Warren did the same on his elephant. The elephant was being fed by the driver as we were perched on it’s head. I was afraid to touch the ears so I would not turn the animal the wrong way. I was also very conscious that this animal was in control and I didn’t want an angry elephant (I’ve watched Dumbo, I know what happens to an angry elephant). We got to ride on the neck of the elephant for about 10-15 minutes and then it was back to the “cushy” seat in back. It was an interesting ride and although it was 60 minutes, it didn’t seem that long. We were back to the “hangar” to get off of the elephant.

We asked about the waterfall since we didn’t see it on the trek. They indicated that we had to either walk (30 minutes) or ride to the waterfall on the 4x4 trucks. We decided on the ride (which turned out to be the absolute right decision). Warren and I sat on top of the cab of the truck as we pulled out and started along the muddy track towards the waterfall. We crossed the stream and then headed along the very uneven and washed out road to the waterfall. It took about 10 minutes and it would’ve taken a lot longer than 30 minutes to walk this path. It was treacherous and without the 4 wheel drive, we would never have made it. There were several areas where the wheels were slipping as we headed up and down the “road”. II wasn’t sure which was the more bumpy ride; the elephant or the truck. When we arrived, we were told we had 20 minutes so we walked out to the waterfall and took photos quickly. It was an interesting area and really required more time to explore the area but with the time limit we saw what we could and got ready to leave (if the truck was leaving, we were going to be on it). Both of the kids took the cab seats for the ride back down the mountain to the starting point. Once we arrived, they asked us to sit in one of the huts while we waited for the driver to take us back to the Villa.

Once we got back, it was relax and hop in the pool for a little bit. We had decided to try a restaurant by the hotel for dinner. Tammy and I ate the Thai cuisine while Jacob and Warren went more Italian (pizza and carbonara). It was good food and we were able to sit outside while we ate and just people watch. Although the airport was very close and we knew when every plane was arriving or departing, it was very relaxing. After dinner, we just went back and did nothing at the Villa except sit on the deck and watch the planes come and go for the rest of the night. It may sound very irritating that we were so close to the airport that the planes would interrupt your day for those 30 seconds while they came in to land or after they took off but it didn’t really bother us much. The last plane came in about 10:00pm and the first plane came in about 6:30am which became our wakeup call. It actually became a running joke; I mean we were on the beach, so we didn’t let it bother us much (why stress over something we could not control). We were on island time, which became the motto for the trip.

Beijing - Over and Out

2010-12-31T11:08:00.001+08:00

Day 3 in Beijing began as the others, breakfast down in the lobby buffet. In other words; we had flashbacks to the Chateau Regency days, meaning that it was not really all that good. The coffee was okay and the food was okay but it wasn’t super. All things considered, it wasn’t very good and more was expected from us at a Marriott property but it’s a lesson learned. Today we had planned on heading “downtown” to the Forbidden City and Tiananmen Square. After our day adventure to the Great Wall, we figured this was the next item to check off of the list of things to see or do in Beijing. I have to note that many combine trips to the Great Wall in with a visit to the Summer Palace and other areas but we didn’t go that route. For us it was all about the Great Wall and for us, it was the right choice. We could’ve busted our butts to see everything but we wouldn’t have enjoyed anything so we decided to just see what we could see and spend the time to enjoy it as opposed to rushing through everything and seeing glimpses of things (like the company outing, it was good but we missed out on a lot).

Today we decided to take the Subway system rather than go the taxi route again. Getting to the Subway took only about 10 minutes and it wasn’t too difficult to figure out how to get the tokens to get a ride. It was 2 RMB for a ticket to go anywhere in the city that the Subway stops so it was extremely cheap to ride. We were about to find out the downside to cheap transportation. We were one of the last stops on the line and had to go only one stop to change trains, how bad could it be right?!?! The first train came up and it was jam packed, and I mean packed! There was no room to get on the train so we stood and figured the next train would be better (how could it be worse) but we were completely wrong. We had decided we were getting on the next train so when it pulled up and was packed again, we were stunned but split into teams and hopped on the train, two at one door and two at the other. We were barely able to step on and get in enough to clear the doors when they closed but we made it. Then it was a mad rush to the connection train. This was the first stop on the line so the train came up empty and the dash was on to get a spot. It was a lot of scrambling to get on to the train, a lot of dashing and bumping but we made it on and were able to secure a spot for the 5 stops to the Forbidden City. The train was jam packed but it continued to make stops and pick up more people. When you thought there wasn’t any space, they found more space. We were squeezed like tuna in a can (where was Charlie?). We survived but anyone with a claustrophobic bone in their body would’ve had a real problem with the Subway. It was almost laughable how many people were on the train and how the numbers continued to increase no matter how little room remained on the train. It was a day that made you thankful for deodorant (at least for those that know how to use it). It was a different way to get where we were going and took less time than a taxi ride so we sucked it up and just made sure to get off at the right stop, Tiananmen Square.

We got up to the street and there, we could see the entrance to the Forbidden City with the large Mao painting hanging straight ahead. Unfortunately, Tiananmen Square was across the 16 lanes of traffic to our left so we saw it from across the road and that’s as close as we were going to get. We could’ve played Frogger and tried to make it across but I don’t think we stood a chance (like Frogger with a broken leg, plus there was a fence blocking our way). So we headed to the Forbidden City and tried to figure out exactly where the entrance was. We knew that Mao’s tomb was nearby so we were confused as to which way to go, where to buy tickets, etc. Tammy spotted two Westerners and went over to ask which direction we should go (of course, her kids stands to the side and say “Mom talks to everyone”). They indicated that we should follow all of the Lemmings under the portrait of Mao and go into the Forbidden City. So off we went into the masses of people and headed into the area to find the tickets to get into the Forbidden City.

Again, no signs or anything to indicate where to go or how to get the tickets so we stop at one of the first ticket people and get into line to get tickets. Once we had the tickets, it was on to another section/area to go into the Forbidden City. After standing in line and moving towards the entrance, we found out we had the wrong ticket (very nice!). So we had to head out of the line (the walk of shame) and get into another line to buy tickets (the right ones we hoped). So after another 20 minutes, we had the right ticket and were able to get through the line again and into the Forbidden City.

Did I mention it was crowded, if not I will say it again, it was crowded. There were a lot of people milling about, tour groups, etc. all around this area. We weren’t in Suzhou anymore. The people in Beijing seemed to us to be a lot ruder than the other Chinese we had met in other areas of China. They would bump you without a second thought, push, shove and just plain be rude in just about every way possible. Whether it was just the local Beijing residents or the Chinese tourists it was tough to tell but either way, you never got the warm, friendly feeling from anyone. It was a test of patience to try not to just lean back and give them a friendly American shove to let them know you have had enough but we sucked it up. Perhaps it would be no different if we went to a big city in the US like New York City or LA but it seemed very strange to us because we were accustomed to some differences in mannerisms between the Chinese and Westerners but this was a different ball game.

Once inside the massive gates to the Forbidden City, we took a sharp right turn to avoid the center walkway through the city to keep away from the crowds as much as possible. It was very strange to think that we were walking on stones from the times of the Emperors of China where the “common people” weren’t allowed to walk for many generations. It was massive inside the walls of the city, once inside you felt disconnected from Beijing (you were basically in the center of one of the largest cities in the world). The layout of the FC was very spread out and it was difficult to know where to go or what you wanted to see. There was the section where the Emperor’s concubines lived and only the eunuchs could go. Any man passing through the gates would be killed by the guards (but if the guards were men, how were they allowed to be inside the walls?). There was the Emperor’s private area, the area for the Empress, etc. It was interesting to see the various parts of this city (and how big each area was) within a city but to be honest; it wasn’t really as powerful to us as we were expecting. Yes, it held a lot of the history of China and there was a lot to see but after about half of the Forbidden City (FC), we were ready to move on. It began to be too much, a lot of the buildings begun to look the same and you weren’t allowed into many of the different halls so you could walk around and look into the hall from the outside but that was all. That was a shame but I understood why this was done. If you opened the halls there would be many that would feel “obligated” to sit on the chairs or on the thrones to get a photo taken like they were the Emperor or whatever. We saw some of these areas but didn’t really feel like being entangled in the masses trying to take a peek into the halls and being pushed around while trying to take a photo. We stayed further away and took our photos from a distance. Although this wasn’t really the peak season to visit Beijing, I’m sure the crowds were about the same throughout the year. There were a lot of interesting things to see but it seemed there was always that disconnect. There were also many other areas within the FC that are recommended to see but some required you to pay more to see those areas. Sorry folks, you already took my money for a ticket to see something (I still don’t know what) that I didn’t see and you aren’t getting any more from me. Although these areas may have been huge draws, we decided against paying more to see them. Perhaps it was the crowds as well. It was kind of stressful to get to the FC on the subway and then the added tension added when trying to find the right ticket area and we were a little burned out by the time we actually got into the FC. So for us at this time, it just wasn’t all we were expecting and somehow it was a letdown. If you have the opportunity to see the FC, I would definitely say go but perhaps go with a local guide; that might provide more insight into the area which would give a better feel. Plus, it takes away some of the stress of figuring out where to go and what to buy. We understand the history of this city and the attraction but we came and we saw and we were ready to move on. There was a nice garden in the back that under normal circumstances would be a place where you would catch your breath and perhaps regain the energy to look further but it was just as crowded as anywhere else and it didn’t have the calming effect for us so we were very happy to see the exit sign and head out of the FC. Sorry, this probably sounds extremely foolish or arrogant but as much as we wanted to enjoy the walk through the FC, we didn’t think it was all that and a bag of chips. For us, the Great Wall was more powerful. It’s one man’s opinion (but it’s my blog and therefore it’s my opinion that matters).

After we headed out, we pointed ourselves in the direction of Beihai Park. This is one of the largest gardens in China. The park was designed in part to showcase different garden structures that can be found in different regions of China. The park was a little outside of the crowds and therefore was much more relaxing and just better for us. We were tired after the walk on the wall the day before and all of the stress involved in getting to the FC and then walking through so we didn’t spend as much time here as we might otherwise. It wasn’t too long of a walk from the FC to the park and along the way you passed by one of the Hutongs. The Hutongs have become transformed from basically a “low rent district” (kind of harsh but that is what it would be back home) to a fashionable thing where you can still get a sense of what it was like to live in Beijing before the decision was made to open the borders of China to the outside world. Many of the Hutongs were demolished and still many more are on the block to be demolished as the city continues to modernize. This isn’t unique to Beijing; Shanghai is doing the same thing as they transform the city. Some Hutongs will remain but only a few and those few will be there as historical “relics”. Anyhow, inside of the park there was some kind of celebration happening in here because they had a bunch of people in costume dancing. They continued to dance and dance as the locals watched. They were dressed in what I would say were more Western China costumes and seemed to have a good time. We watched for several minutes and then moved around more to see more of the park. It had already been a long day and we were done after about an hour and turned to head out of the park. This is another one of the Top 10 sites to see in Beijing so we experienced some of it but didn’t see it all. I am certain that in the Spring/Summer, this park would be a very beautiful place. In November, a lot more brown and less greenery. This was more relaxing but we wanted to head back to the hotel to catch our breath before dinner.

We decided to forgo the Beijing Duck and just go somewhere to eat where we could get a decent meal. We went to The Blue Frog at The Villages to get something to eat. The Villages is another Western area for shopping and eating and contains one of the few Apple stores in Beijing. We’ve eaten at The Blue Frog in Shanghai and since we knew the menu, it wouldn’t be a problem to eat here in Beijing. The broken record comment of the day, traffic sucked!!!! We left early to avoid the traffic but we ran headlong into it again. The taxi driver tried to take a back way to get to the area but we got to the road and needed to take a left but traffic just wasn’t moving. Seriously, we waited for a long time and the traffic didn’t move so he gave us the motion that he was turning around to go another way and we agreed. We got on to the highway and were moving well until….BAM! Dead stop. We were near the front of the stopped traffic so we could see there was nothing ahead of us but there were cops stopping traffic. Why? Well, we’ve seen it in Suzhou so we knew that a local politician would be driving by soon and they held traffic for this important person to have free access to get where they were going. It seems very strange in a country where everyone is “equal” that the politicians would get special treatment but it’s no different than home. There are different rules depending on who you are (so there are classes everywhere like it or not). The taxi driver was frustrated but seemed to take it in stride. The funny thing we saw was a woman walking up through the traffic to get to the front. You could see her passing by and the driver started to laugh (and so did we). She got up to the policeman and started to give him what for and he simply waved his hand at her indicating to get back to her car. She tried to give him more grief but he never even looked at her and gave her the wave. We could only imagine that she was giving him the “Do you know who I am?” and he didn’t care. He had a job to do and was going to do it. We laughed some more and within 4 minutes traffic was moving again. The driver did what he could to get us around. He also talked to us and asked where we were from and how long we were in China, etc. He was the only driver to speak with us at all. He actually thought I was French because of my hat (I assume, can you imagine that French. Not only are the French insulted, I was insulted so no one was happy). Anyhow, we got to The Village after about 1 hour and had some dinner. They had a nice area outside to pick up a taxi to get back and we hopped in the line and were able to get a cab quickly to go home. Finally, a system worked and we were ready to go back, pack and get back to friendly Suzhou.

The next morning, we packed, checked out and made it to the airport with plenty of time to get on our flight back home. We enjoyed Beijing in some respects but the traffic and how rude the people were really soured the experience for us. The Great Wall was absolutely fantastic and was well worth all of the aggravation. If we went back to Beijing again, we would want to go to another section of the wall and continue that journey. We don’t know that new will have the opportunity to go back but we are happy that we took the time just to see a glimpse of what Beijing has to offer.

Beijing - Day 2

2010-12-22T10:49:00.002+08:00

Day 2 in Beijing was our day to the Great Wall. There are many different wall areas to visit, the closest is Badaling. This is the most repaired section of the wall and is usually the section that you will see on TV (Samantha Brown, Pres. Obama photo op, etc.). It’s also the most crowded section so we decided to go further to Mutanyu. This section of the wall is about 90 minutes from Beijing.

When we got up in the morning, the “fog” seemed to really be settled in and it wasn’t looking good for the home team. As you can imagine, we wanted a good day to get photos of this experience and it was a little concerning when you could barely make out the buildings around the hotel and the sun was an orange dot behind the clouds. But, we had made the arrangements for the car to pick us up at 10:00 so we were committed . We went down and ate breakfast at the buffet for the hotel which was okay but definitely not great stuff. We were hoping for the sky to clear as the hours passed. We packed a lunch and snacks for the trip and got ready to head out.

Our driver arrived promptly and we headed down the road, away from the city but traffic was still pretty slow moving until we were about 20 minutes into the trip. We followed the main highway for awhile and then headed off to a more local road. The weather was clearing the further we got away from the city so we began to breathe a little easier (in more ways than one, the air in Beijing was pretty nasty). As we have before, we made notes of the towns and villages we passed on the way to the wall. I am not sure how the people lived since you saw no signs of manufacturing plants and you also didn’t see much for farming but obviously, the were able to earn a living in some fashion that I am sure we might find pretty unappealing. We kept looking out the windows for signs of the wall as we headed into more mountainous terrain but we couldn’t see anything. It wasn’t until we arrived that we were able to just catch a small glimpse of what was to come on the top of the mountain ahead of us. We said goodbye to the driver and headed for the cable car to take us to the top. There is the option to walk up to the wall but a) it was a long walk, b) we would rather be walking on the wall than up to the wall and c) we’re pretty lazy people.

As we ascended, we could begin to see the region better with the valleys and mountains all around us and then, we could start to see just a small section of the wall. I hate to be one of those people that say “you have to be there to experience it” but you really do. We watched Samantha Brown on her China trip talk about the Great Wall and thought, it doesn’t really do it justice. We got off the cable car and on the wall and the camera never stopped snapping photos from this point forward. The day wasn’t perfect but it was pretty darned good and it wasn’t too cold so we took as many photos as we could to capture the moment. There was a couple that asked if we would take their picture and we did and they then offered to take a photo of the family. Imagine that, a photo with all 4 of us on the wall. It was very nice and gave us a picture that we seldom get. The wall took some endurance to go up and down and around all of the areas. It was worse on the far edges of the wall section. We decided to follow the major section of the wall and head towards the alpine slide to get us down. We had 3 hours to be there and this was the best way to cover the most ground. It also gave an incentive for the kids and allowed for a quick return to the parking/souvenir area.

It was incredible. The amount of manpower to get this built boggled the mind. The wall followed the tops of the mountain ridges and must have been a daunting sight for anyone thinking they would walk down main street into Beijing. The sheer size was hard to fathom just how it was done, how many people worked on this section, etc. We enjoyed every moment and soaked it all in. To try and describe it further would be very difficult. We could see in the distance another section of the wall (Simitai) which only added to the wonder of the place. It was a great day for us and we can finally say that we are true men (there is a quote in China indicating that you are not a real man until you have walked on the wall).

Near the end of the day, Jacob and Tammy headed to the alpine slide but I wanted to go a little further. Warren and I headed to the last section of the wall open to the public. Here is where it got very steep and difficult. At one point, we were climbing on all fours trying to get up the steps without falling. It was crazy! We only had about 25 minutes to get back to the alpine slide so we went as far as we could and then turned around and headed down the steep slope to meet at the slide. The slide was fun and we were being chastised by the workers along the slope indicating we were going too fast.

Then it was find the souvenirs that we would take home from the wall. There was a large section of stalls selling many things we can get in Suzhou so those items weren’t so appealing but there were some things we thought were nice. This is where Warren turned into a bargaining fool. We went into one stall and the lady quoted us like 840 RMB for three landscape photos of the wall. This was a pretty crazy price so Warren went to the next stall which had the same thing and asked for her price. 550. Next! He just started going back and forth between the stalls and asking prices and letting them know he was comparison shopping. He would yell, 400 over here. They didn’t really like this but it was playing their game to win. We finally got them for somewhere around 240 RMB. We bought some shirts that said “I Climbed the Great Wall” (and all I got was this lousy t-shirt) and that’s about it. We looked for a Great Wall hat but none, just hats for Beijing. We found our driver and headed back to the hotel. It was a great day for us and we were thrilled that we finally made the trip. The Mutanyu section of the wall was less crowded and I am sure just as beautiful as many other sections so it was even pretty relaxing.

For dinner, we went to a pizza place at a very Western area in Beijing. As usual, it took a long time to get there due to the traffic. The prices were pretty steep for pizza and it really wasn’t all that good but we ate it. We decided that before we headed home, we would go to the WuFujiang Night Market. This is the place you may have seen on TV during the Olympics where they sell just about everything to eat. Scorpions, grasshoppers, silkworm cocoons, testicles from about any beast walking the planet along with some more normal items like noodles and rice dishes. We were in the mood for scorpions and grasshoppers which really had little flavor. They were crunchy and salty but no real flavor to speak of. We also ate a mutton “sandwich” which was okay but nothing special. It was interesting to watch the people since this area is more of a tourist trap than a place where the locals go to eat. Interesting, you bet. We could have eaten there for about 1/3 of the price of eating at the pizza joint. Typical with the street food, it’s cheap and usually it’s pretty good.

GUEST BLOG - Yokohama

2010-12-12T20:40:00.002+08:00

(A special treat is in order for today's posting. We take a break from the mundane musings of a crazy man and hear from the offspring of said crazy person. Warren has posted information on his trip to Yokohama, Japan that he took last month. Enjoy and feel free to submit a comment, I am sure Warren would appreciate the feedback and it might encourage more of the Dudley clan to submit their postings.)

I was selected to be one of the members from SSIS band to attend the AISA Band Festival (Association of International Schools in Asia). The AISA festival was being held this year in Yokohama, Japan. So I got the chance to go to another country and get another stamp on my passport that my Dad doesn’t have (Singapore and now Japan, one more and I overtake him).

All of the students that were going to AISA Band Festival had to be at Singa Plaza (Western Places to eat at) by 4:00am. From Singa Plaza we rode to school to pick up breakfast. For some odd reason when we got to school there was no food and the guards do not know why we are there. So no breakfast at SSIS, we never even got off the bus instead we headed to direct to Shanghai. When we finally get to PuDong International Airport it is about 7:45. It takes us about 30 minutes to get checked in and get through security and customs. On the airplane (Delta) the food was dinner but for us, we wanted our breakfast. The flight was about 3 hours, with no in-flight entertainment on the seats, just a movie playing on the little screens. It was an English movie but I was more interested in eating and sleeping. When we landed in Japan and get our bags, we each had to go buy Air Bus (the name of the bus line, not the airplane) tickets that were 3,500 Yen to Yokohama, Japan. This bus would take 2 hours to get from Tokyo to Yokohama.

When we are about 30 minutes away from the bus station in Yokohama, there are many police out on the road due to the upcoming APEC meeting that President Obama would be attending. From the bus station we had to take a taxi to Yokohama International School. This school has been open since 1947. We had an hour to tour the school before our home stay families came to pick us up. So, we went to a little garden across the street from the school. Most of the home stays lived pretty close to the school but there was one person who home stay family lived in Tokyo. My home stay family was from China and they have lived in Japan for many years. For dinner that night we had curry with vegetables and rice, not good like what I’m used to. All of the Suzhou Singapore International School students had to call the teachers by 10pm to make sure that we were ok.

The first morning for breakfast I had a bagel, with slightly cooked bacon, boiled egg, and spicy sausage, with pulp orange juice and milk. One thing that I noticed is that the kid that I was with had more of everything, which was a little odd. After we finished eating we had to go to the public bus stop to go to school. The public buses in Japan are not jam-packed full of people, everyone normally has a seat and there is room for more people. When we get to school we have no idea where to go and I felt like we got lost with a student that went to the school. By the time we get to the place where we were supposed to be we missed the introduction and it was time to play. The Jazz Band went to the main school building and the Concert Band stayed where we were. The school was in several parts of the city but they were all within walking distance. We rehearsed for 90 minutes and then we had a short break then we had another 60 minutes to practice. After that we went out to lunch at a place that was about a 45 minute walk from the school. For lunch we went to a mall type place but it looked like a prison from the outside. Once again there were many police officers outside due to the APEC meeting going on. When we were walking back to school after lunch we had to walk slow due to the Pre-School getting out at 2:45. When we got back to the school we went into sectionals; that is when everybody goes into a room with the group. During this time you could see how much everyone else practiced before they got to AISA. This lasted about an hour, and then we played one time though everything as a group then it was time to go. When our home stay family picks us up she says that we are going to go to her favorite restaurant; which I’m not sure what that would be. Turns out that the place that we went was Red Lobster.

2nd day in Japan. We had to be at school at the same time as the day before. We practiced for 90 minutes and then we had break, which was muffin with Japanese tea. Since I am not a big fan of tea I did not like what was to drink, but I drank it anyway. After break we practiced for 30 more minutes and then we went to lunch in the area that President Obama was suppose to be in during the APEC meeting. All of the Suzhou people went to this cheap Japanese place that looked like someone’s home with many table. At this restaurant they had sushi and other Japanese meals that I’m not sure of because the menu was all in Japanese. I had sushi for lunch. When we got back to school we had one last run through then we changed and then we played for the last time. After the big concert the school had a banquet for all of the concert band members, which was curry from all over the world. Not the best curry I have ever tasted (my favorite one was in Beijing at the Ganges restaurant), but I ate it anyways. When the banquet was over everyone waited on their home stay families to pick us up and during the wait my band director asked if I wanted to bring my instrument to my home stay with me or leave it at school I said leave it at the school so we had to walk a block to get to the gym where everyone kept their instruments for the night.

3rd day in Japan. This day we did not have to be up at school until 9:30, so we got to sleep in and it was the only major day we got to sleep in which was nice, but I was still up at my normal 6:00. The home stay family took us to school at about 9:15 and we where the only ones there, so we thought we where in the wrong spot, then slowly all of the other SSIS students started to show up. After all of the SSIS students showed up we left the school and went to the Subway Station, to start our long journey to Ito, Japan. The subway ticket to the train station was 1,650 Yen. From the train station we took another train to another station and then we hopped on one more train for about 30 minutes and then we made it to Ito, Japan. During our long journey to Ito, Japan we got on a faster train which cost 1,500 Yen more so we had to get off at the next stop, were we where in the middle of nowhere is how it felt. We had to wait at the stop for 20 minutes until the next train had come that was the one that we could get on. On our way to the Hostile we got lost and our director got a map and we still got lost, so he went with our Japanese girl in the group to go talk to a couple of these bikers (Motor Cycle Club) where this place was and they had no idea where it was so they went into this little shop where the store owner took us there and made sure that all of us got there and we could get in. When we got in we had to take off our shoes and of course me having big feet none of the shoes could fit me. So I walked around in my bare feet for the day. The people showed us around and then we brought our bags to the room and went out to lunch. We walked for about 3 blocks not getting lost this time and ate at Mos Burger I had a burger and bad fries. After we all got our food and finished eating, we walked around and our band director picked out a shirt from a store for the other teacher that went with us to Japan. If you knew my band director you would know how odd this was. While they were doing whatever (looking for clothes); we saw a couple of cats and this Japanese guy walked up to us and started to talk to us in English which was funny because none of us were expecting it. He asked us where we were from and what we were doing so far from home. Then we walked down this side street and found a Japanese Casino; there was one kid in our group that got a video of it although we were not suppose to take photos. Then we walked back to the Hostile and dropped off our stuff; got changed if we wanted; and then walked to the beach which was about a 10 minute walk from the Hostile. We walked around the beach for 30 minutes or so; then we walked to the 100 Yen store to get dinner. We had to make our own dinner and breakfast at the hostile. For dinner we made noodles with vegetables and some Korean thing. During dinner we watched the ‘’The Last Samurai’ (Tom Cruise movie). It was a good movie, I learned one Japanese word from it “MeMe” (ears). After the movie we had to go to bed; the girls went straight to bed and all of the guys played cards until about 1:00 in the morning where we said “Ok this is boring” and we all fell asleep.

Last Day In Japan. The next day we did not have to be up until 9:00 and we had to make breakfast. We also had to go down to the hot spring down stairs to shower. We showered and sat in a hot tub and I am one of those not so smart people who would not read what to do before getting into the hot spring. I was wondering why all of the blood rushed to my head and it said to keep the small towel on your head, which I did not do. So when I got out of the hot spring I walked right into the wall due to all of the blood rushing to my head. After everybody got out of the hot spring and packed all of their stuff up we walked to the train station and did the same thing we did the day before plus an additional 2 hours 30 minutes going to Tokyo, Japan. Going to the airport was the most boring ride ever. There was nothing to do nothing to watch, so I fell asleep because I was bored and tired. We got to the airport, checked in and got on a plane to Shanghai, China. Food on the airplane, it was Delta so not all that good. We get to Shanghai and we could not find our band director, we thought we left him in Japan. Then we found him with all of our bags. We found the SSIS bus driver and were on our way back to Suzhou. It was midnight by the time we got to Singa plaza. Then the next day all of us had to get up and go to school in the morning.

New Photo Link

2010-12-07T20:07:00.001+08:00

Check out the new Flicker photo link for photos of our Beijing trip.

Hello Beijing

2010-12-07T19:45:00.001+08:00

Beijing, the big cheese, the capital city, the host of the 2008 Summer Olympics, the #1 city in China that the Chinese want to visit. Well, we finally made plans to go in the “off season” to see what all the fuss was about. We tried to plan it all out but decided to keep a simple plan for Beijing, get to the Great Wall, Tiananmen Square and everything else was gravy.

At the airport, waiting for our plane to Beijing there was a tv screen playing what we would call a Public Service Announcement (PSA). It was in Chinese but there were English subtitles. The PSA was about the swine flu. The first thing it said was that the swine flu comes from America, “what a shame”. Huh? The swine flu (H1N1) epidemic comes from the US? Now that took us by surprise to see this (and we knew it because at the same time there was the subtitles there was a map of the US with arrows coming out from it leading all over the globe. I knew there were outbreaks of the virus in the US but there were also outbreaks in other parts of the world (but perhaps an infected person traveled around the globe infecting others like Johnny Appleseed). The rest of the message was about how to protect yourself from the virus (wash your hands, wear you mask, etc.). It was a little disturbing to see this because it put a bulls eye on our back if we sneezed, coughed or scratched. If you coughed, you took a quick look around to ensure you weren’t being monitored and that behind the column there were a bunch of people wearing full hazmat gear to throw you into a plastic covered bubble stretcher and take you away to the local “treatment center” (or maybe it’s just me that gets the visual image of Planet of the Apes where they round up the humans with the nets and the choke collars. Get your hands off of me you damned dirty ape!). We flew China Eastern airlines which is our airline of choice in China, don’t know exactly why but we’ve flown them everywhere we have gone. I like the airline, the planes seem in good condition and the service is okay but the big problem I have with them is their reaction to real or perceived turbulence. Any time there is any kind of air movement around the plane, they are on the speaker telling people to take their seats and not to use the toilets. It’s crazy, I hate to fly so any kind of bump in the air bothers me but this is nothing. IT doesn’t seem to matter to them at all, it is crazy. It’s just the constant announcements about turbulence. Don’t overreact to it and leave people alone for crying out loud. If I gotta go, I’m getting up so just let it be. It was about a 2 hour flight and I swear they made the announcement every 15 minutes. Enough already. Now it’s not like the Chinese pay any attention, they get up and use the toilet when they have to so it doesn’t seem to matter much to them. They are lucky if the plane actually hits the runway before the Chinese start to get up out of their seats and get their stuff out of the overhead bins. Seriously, they will get up when they want to get their stuff and get ready by the door (if you’re not first…you’re last!). Now that should be a bigger problem but they seem to let that slide (unless we hit a bump on the runway, then it’s take your seats, fasten your seatbelts and don’t use the toilets.).

We arrive in Beijing, grab a cab and head to the hotel. For those in the Atlanta area, we all know I-285 creates a ring around the city. In Beijing, they have 5 rings around the city (Five!), and they are working on ring 6 as we speak. We were on the outside of the 5th ring but it still took us almost an hour to get to the hotel. Traffic was a mess, once you got near the highway rings, it came to a crawl. We checked in and got good service from the reception staff. We stayed at a Marriott Suites since it was cheaper for a small apartment than it would be for two rooms at a standard hotel. The room was okay and we were just happy to be there. We planned on heading to the Great Wall the next day and just sat a relaxed for an hour or so before deciding where to go to eat. Tammy found a place ironically called “The Place” which was a Western shopping mall with restaurants and stuff. We didn’t know where we would eat but we knew the choices would be there. Again, back into traffic, it was unbelievable. Traffic never really moved fast, it was a crawl or stop. Despite the ride not being very far, it took about 40 minutes to arrive. We walked around and saw an Indian restaurant and decided that is where we would eat. Ganges Restaurant, it get’s the Dudley Seal of Approval. The food was better than the Indian we find locally and the service was good and they had different beers to try. I tried another Australian beer called Pure Blond which was really good (so I’ve got two new Aussie beers on my repertoire, Redback and Pure Blond). The food wasn’t too spicy, we (meaning me) didn’t want to take a chance knowing I had a long car ride ahead of us to the Great Wall and sometimes Indian food is given a bad rap for impacting the digestive track. We ate everything, Mutton Samosas, Chicken Biryani, Nan Bread, Chicken Tikka and Chicken Tikka Masala. Absolutely delicious!

Afterwards, we stopped at a market to pick up food for the next day and then find a taxi to get us home. This is where Beijing lost us. A cab would come by, we would hop in and show them our taxi card (the Expat’s best friend if you want to get around town in a taxi) and they would tell us something and give us the “wave off”. Either they didn’t know where we needed to go or they just plain weren’t going to take us there. Granted, we were a longer distance than perhaps other places but we were still going to pay them. It took about 5 cabs to finally get one to take us home. It seemed so unnecessary. We’ve had the same kind of problem every once in awhile in Suzhou but the drivers seemed a lot more rude than what we were accustomed to. We had heard some stories about the cabbies in Beijing before we took the trip. I would have to say that they were pretty accurate. The cabbies will take your money and not give you change unless you press the issue. If they give you change, it was to the closest 5 or 10 RMB (so if the ride was 46 RMB, if you gave them 50 RMB, they would claim not to have any change and keep the extra 4 RMB. If you gave the 100 RMB, you got 50 RMB back and they didn’t give you a second look). This was our first taste of Beijng cabbies and it didn’t really give you the warm fuzzies for the rest of the trip but we had 3 days so we hoped this wasn’t a sign of things to come (but it was).

Bao Mansion

2010-12-05T09:35:00.002+08:00

Our final stop on the whirlwind tour of Henan Province was Bao Mansion/Court in Kaifeng. Kaifeng was another of the ancient capital cities of China (so I’ve now been to 3 capital cities in China; Beijing, Xi’an and now Kaifeng). Kaifeng has many tourist sites but the site that was selected for our trip was Bao Mansion. Bao is a famous judge in China that was widely known for his integrity and honor. As with many of these tales in China, this one takes on mythical proportions as many of the stories of Bao have seemingly been embellished to increase the stature of the man (similar to Lei Feng mentioned in my post on Obamao). Regardless, he is a very well known figure in China and many people come to the mansion to pay their respects to this judge. Now, much of this knowledge was not known to me until after we made the visit since all of the information was given verbally in Chinese. I knew we were visiting the home of a famous judge and that was about it.

This was the coldest day we had and it was actually hailing a little when we arrived. There was a Chrysanthemum Festival going on in the city at the same time so around the mansion were many flower arrangements shaped like dragons, peacocks and other animals. Other than that, the area was pretty dull. There was little signage to indicate where you were in this area so I was pretty much lost the entire time. What I did find interesting were the statues of the judge that had small kneeling stools and offering pots in front of them. As I watched, every once in awhile you would see someone kneel in front of the statute and pray. I wondered what they were praying for but I would guess it was for justice in some shape or form. Anyhow, this area didn’t really appeal much to me since I had no idea what was going on the entire time but I took photos and looked around. To me, it was nothing special; there was nothing inside or outside that made it stand apart. Perhaps the locals thought more of it but I thought it was pretty boring. We only had 90 minutes to be here and then it was off to lunch so there wasn’t a lot of time anyhow.

What was interesting was that when you walked out of the area, there were the obligatory gift shops but not once did anyone even try to talk us into looking at their stuff (looka-looka). Steve and I walked past and they just let us be. Normally they are always trying to talk you into looking in their shop on the way by. It was actually kind of refreshing. So, then it was off to a relaxing 15 minute lunch and head to the train station to take the high speed train back to Suzhou (only 6 hours!). The train station was by far the most crowded and disorganized place I had been in China. They had one waiting area for everyone and it was obvious that they didn’t see many foreigners in this place. Steve and I got stares that I hadn’t seen in a long time, especially from young kids. We were about 90 minutes early for the train which made for a fun time to sit and wait.

The bathrooms were a little primitive. The men’s room had a trough for the urinals and a nice 1 meter high wall cubicle for a public squatty. Just so we’re clear, it was a 1 meter high wall separating the men that needs to use the squatty from the urinals but there were no walls in between the squatting men so you just lined up there and did your business (you finished reading the sports page?). I was a little stunned (and I was happy that I didn’t have a large fiber intake during the trip, I’m sure my skinny white butt would’ve gotten some real attention) but we are in China and if you gotta go, you gotta go.

There was a lot of confusion about the trains because we were on train 178 and there was another train 78 that was due to leave just before ours. Both trains were leaving through the same gate. Now there was the cramped general waiting area and then there was a smaller, more cramped waiting area for your specific train. You basically herded through one door into the smaller room to wait when you were called. This is when the fun started. We moved into line when our train number lit up. Well, there was no room in the smaller waiting area so we stood in line. Well, train #78 was called to board and here comes a wave of Chinese to get through us to get into the small waiting room (which led to the platform). Although I haven’t been in one of those soccer stampedes, this had to be close. A wave of Chinese just started pushing through and everyone was moving forward whether you wanted to or not. We were able to slide to the side a bit to give room to let them pass. We were barely able to get out of the way as the masses moved forward. Steve came along with the crowd and then slid to the side and held his ground. It was so strange, they had a double door but only opened one of the doors to let people through so some were getting their luggage caught on the doors and made a big fuss about getting through. You would’ve thought it was a herd of cattle. They didn’t slow down or stop to create some kind of gap to help each other out it was just push, push and push (and shout). It got really bad, enough to cause me concern about if I would be crushed in this madness. It’s a friggin’ train people, what’s the super rush! It got bad enough that Steve put his hand on my shoulder to give him some extra balance/leverage to hold up. He was getting pushed pretty hard by one guy trying to get through and he decided to push back and stuck his arm into the guy’s chest and just kept on pushing him back. He neared tipped him over but the guy made it through and I think he learned that he couldn’t just bull his way through. It was crazy! There was no thought process just “move with the herd” regardless of anything or anyone else. The train station workers could’ve opened the second door to ease the panic and congestion but they did nothing to stop the madness. When it was our turn, we made it through the doors but the secondary waiting area was too small and it was even more cramped. Then, you see the train pull up and it’s time to move.

Again, although there were 6 doors to allow the crowd to flow out on the platform, they chose to open only one door. There were 300 of us plus however many of the locals on this train so it was slow going. This was more organized because we all knew each other and it wasn’t like the panic mode that set in with the previous crowd. However, once through the doors the race was on! The kids were yelling at me to run to my train car and everyone was in a near sprint. I thought it was dumb but did it anyhow. Then the horn sounds indicating that the train is going to leave. They yell to me to get on at the nearest car and walk through to my seat. I only made it to car #10 and I was in car #4 so I had a lot of waiting and walking to do. I wanted to keep going to car #4 but they were yelling like the train was leaving so I jumped on board. So I had to wait for others to put up their stuff and take their seat (much like on a plane) but there were some Chinese who insisted on trying to get around me and push their way through. It was so stupid! Just hold on for another 10 seconds, they will be gone and I will move. Nope, he has to try and push around me and then step over the bags and through the maze to get to his seat. I’ll never understand how this works but it is what it is. I got to my seat after about maybe 7-8 minutes and sat down for the long ride back to Suzhou. The train was high speed but due to the many stops, it took 6 hours for the journey.

One note about the train ride that was probably the one “blog worthy” moment. It happened to be when Coris (a co-worker and a female) moved to the seat next to mine (the guy in that seat left to sit next to a friend) and started to talk to me. There was a group traveling together of older folks near us. The look that they gave to us as we talked was something I wasn’t familiar with. I can only assume that they thought that she and I were a couple or something because they didn’t give us the “ahh, young love” look, it was the “damned foreigners come here to corrupt our women” look. We weren’t making “googly eyes” at each other. We were actually talking about raising kids, divorce rates in the US and China and marriage in both countries. I know that many foreigners (that have families back home or in China with them) come to China and take the opportunity to “sample the local culture” and because of that, there are many locals that don’t trust the foreigners because of this (How do I know this? It was the topic of discussion on the bus to work one morning. I didn’t understand the conversation but it was told to me in English once the ladies in the front office got off the bus.). I understand it because I feel the same way but perhaps for different reasons. I've made comments about seeing older white guys with younger Chinese women before and perhaps I give them the same look. It's an interesting dynamic here as almost every time you see this (especially when the guy is like Grandpa Simpson old and looks like Grandpa Munster) you automatically assume that there is a monetary reason for them to be together. I guess you have to feel badly for those that meet and have a true relationship becuase they have to go with the stigma attached to this situation. I mean, you don't see many Western women with Chinese men so why would you see so many Chinese women with Western men? Anyhow, a topic for another day but I got a taste of what it must feel like to be in one of these "relationships", you would have to have a pretty thick skin or learn to ignore the looks.

So we finally arrived home and then were taken by bus back to our apartments. Thus ends the company outing odyssey for me. It was very interesting to be a part of this experience and although we were rushed through most of the trip, I enjoyed the trip. I’m not sure if this would be a trip for the family and I to re-create but it is an option. Yuntai Mountain would be very worthwhile and if I went back, I would spend the majority of my time there. I guess for the Chinese, they want to see as much as they can in a limited time despite any travel distances between the place. It would be like going to Maine for a three day trip and wanting to see Bar Harbor, Mount Katahdin and Stephen King’s residence all on the same trip. Anyhow, it was good to get a feel for how they travel and watch how they interact with each other. It was definitely to an area of the country that I would not have visited otherwise so it was a good experience. I was very tired (as were most of the others) when I returned but it was back to work the very next day.

Yuntai Mountain

2010-12-04T08:41:00.002+08:00

Day 2 (or Day 3 depending if you want to add in the train ride as Day 1) we were scheduled to travel to Yuntai Mountain. Now for a little information on Yuntai Mountain to set the scene for you. Yuntai Mountain is located near Jiaozuo and is about 70 kilometers away from Zhengzhou (Henan Province). It covers a total area of 240 square kilometers and has 11 major scenic spots. Yuntai Mountain is named after the clouds and fog around the peaks. In August 2007, Yuntai Mountain became a sister park of the Grand Canyon National Park in the United States and is China’s second government park affiliated with a foreign park. Some of the scenic spots; there is the Yuntai Tianpu Waterfall, the highest waterfall in Asia, and Red Stone Gorge, which is acknowledged as the most peculiar gorge in China, and the Tanpu Gorge, which is known as the most beautiful gorge in China. Fenglin Gorge integrates the beauty of mountains and the romantic charm of water, and is praised as the lake that is shared by humans and gods. Qinglong Gorge is another spot which is the biggest gorge in Yuntai.

This was the best part of the trip without question. The Yuntai Mountain area was H-U-G-E and we only got to see just a few parts of the area (and by a few, I mean two). This area is also called the Yellowstone Park of China (although affiliated with the Grand Canyon) due to the large number of gorges and rock formations in the area. We started at Red Stone Gorge and had about 2 hours to get around and head back. We first got off the bus and headed into the park where we had to get on another bus in order to go up the narrower roads towards our start point. It’s unfortunate because along the way there were many photo-worthy spots but you couldn’t get the camera out on the crowded bus and he wasn’t stopping until we reached the top. If the bus had pulled over just at 2 spots, it would’ve been so much better but it is what it is and we (by we I mean I) dealt with it. The weather was pretty good, although not a crystal clear day it was a little cool but it wasn’t raining and it wasn’t too “overcast”. The scenery was absolutely astounding as we started up near a dam and headed downward into the gorge area. This is where things really got interesting. Everyone obviously got in their 8 hours worth of sleep and was re-charged for a full day’s worth of walking. Everywhere a photo could be taken, there were people lined up for their photo shoot. People would basically look around, see a good area where they thought a photo could be taken and “beep-beep-zip-bang” off they went to try and get into that area for the photo. Keep in mind that this wasn’t exactly a wide open area; it’s a gorge so you have narrow, fenced paths to follow and so it wasn’t like there was a free-flow of people. You moved along at the pace of the people in front of you (and the people in front of them, and so on). As usual, I had my camera out and took a whole bunch of photos but a lot of my photos were of the landscape and the surroundings. For the Chinese, it wasn’t as much about the landscape as getting a photo of their friends and colleagues with the proper background (and sometimes by proper I mean with any background). It was crazy! They would barely look around to see what was there or notice the beauty of the area; it was all about the photos. For Steve and I, we were very popular this day to get photos with the kids from work. Some of them I didn’t even know but they would come over, stand by me and get a photo taken. It was strangely familiar. In one area, I gave my camera to someone else to get photos of me with a few of the kids but it turned out to be more than just that. After the first photo, here comes another one, then another one, then another and it went on for about 10 people. Then here comes a Chinese couple that aren’t with the company but they saw an opportunity and took it. Like I said it was strangely familiar. Steve and I were in a group of 8 girls and 3 boys so you’ll notice that in most of my photos I am surrounded by girls. I’d like to say that it was my animal magnetism, handsome American looks or charming personality but it was because they were forced to be around me (but in my mind I still choose to believe it’s the handsome part and don’t try to talk me out of it). When we were informed of our group membership (the large groups were subdivided into smaller more manageable groups), we were told it was because we could eat more. The women wouldn’t eat as much as men so we had a chance to “fatten up”. After seeing the girls eat, I am not so sure about that logic but I digress (and I’m sure you are saying “That is strangely familiar”). The biggest problem was the people behind you that would try and squeeze by when you stop to take a photo or enjoy the scenery. It wasn’t like I was the roadblock and once they made it past me that things opened up. Past me were more people, and more people and more people. Somehow this is the Chinese way, I want to be first even if I don’t know what that means. Some would lose their patience and start to tell us to “Hurry Up” or “Keep moving”. They weren’t getting anywhere fast by saying this, the line didn’t all of a sudden start moving because someone told it to. It’s no different than their driving, just before the light turns green, they are honking their horn at the car in front of them (even if that “car” is a lineup at more than a dozen cars in front of them). It was annoying but I didn’t let it bother me too much. What I thought was funny was that many of the best scenic areas for photos (narrow walkways across water) had signs indicating not to stop on the walkway. Yeah, like that was going to work (and it didn’t).

We were at Red Stone Gorge for about 2 hours then it was back to the buses to backtrack a little to get to the lunch area. The restaurants were all lined up along the route that the buses follow up the mountain, it was just a matter of which one you would eat at. Again, we stopped and everyone was leaving the bus like it was on fire and headed into the lunchroom. The food came fast and furious and the eating commenced at the same pace. The one most interesting thing about the meals in Henan was the bread that came with the meal. They gave us rolls that were very dense, kind of like a bagel, that were steamed. These rolls were very good and provided some “filling” for those Westerners that weren’t chowing down on all of the other stuff. Little did I know it but at this meal, the meat was donkey. I didn’t notice any difference in taste or texture so I ate it like it was beef. After the 10 minute “relaxed” lunch period, it was back on the bus to the next area we were to visit. Longfeng Gorge was the area. Interesting enough was that the gorges always were basically U-turns, you walked in one direction got to the end of the gorge and then headed back along another route so you always ended up back where you started. I picked up a map of the area and this place was absolutely huge so we saw maybe 10-15% of the area in the two ventures we took. After the gorge walk, we had some time before the bus left so we headed up the mountain to see the monkeys (rhesus macaques). This was a very long and steep stairway up to the monkey show. We only had about 45 minutes so we rushed up the steps. I’m not in great shape but I was able to manage the stairs better than the younger Chinese. There was one area where there were easily 150 steps at a ridiculous angle but if you wanted to see the monkey show you needed to go up those steps.

The monkey show was a guy with three monkeys. The monkeys had dog collars on that were tied to ropes held by the “trainer”. I started to take photos but had to walk away in disgust because these monkeys, although they may have been trained, obviously were not treated very well. The others watching had a great time but I didn’t and just took a short walk around to see the view from this area. I was able to see where they kept these monkeys and noticed a few other monkeys roaming free. There was a sign at the bottom of this area that indicated some monkeys were roaming free and not to feed them but immediately afterward I found a monkey sitting there eating what looked like a cinnamon roll or some kind of bread. That wasn’t really in their natural diet so I guessed they were fed by the locals. The locals were all crowded around taking photos. This was one of those times that I was hoping for a “when animals attack” kind of thing but it didn’t happen. Anyhow, the show ended and it was time to head back to the buses and leave the area.

We headed to Kaifeng to spend the night at another top-notch, 5-star hotel (yes, that is sarcascm). This place was worse than the first place but it had a shower (although the shower had only a curtain, no basin to catch the water. There was a drain and a shower curtain that was about 18” too short to hit the ground so when you took a shower, the entire bathroom floor got wet) and a bed (rock hard, just like I like it….sarcasm again). It was cheap and we weren’t on the street so it served the purpose. We weren’t spending a lot of time there so it really didn’t matter much. It was a good day and the mountain was very nice. Many of the Chinese didn’t like it because they never climbed the mountain. I thought that was an interesting thing to say. When we asked what they liked the best it was Shaolin Temple. The Longmen Grottoes was very old but they didn’t like it and since they didn’t get to climb the mountain, Yuntai Mountain lost points. Steve and I had a different scoring system so it goes to show how perceptions are “built in” for some things. We thought Shaolin Temple (the portions that we saw, we left with still more to see that might have changed out perception) was shallow and a contrived tourist trap. The Longmen Grottoes was interesting and disappointing at the same time, interesting to see all of the caves (again, we didn’t see everything due to time constraints) but disappointing due to the damage done for whatever reason. Yuntai Mountain was better due to the fact that we able to see some different scenery that we might not have seen otherwise and just the gorges alone made the trip worthwhile.

Next post will be the final day on the trip and then we’ll move into Beijing or perhaps Warren will enlighten us on his trip to Japan. Photos have been added so click on the photos link for just a few images from Yuntai Mountain.

Longmen Grottoes

2010-11-28T10:24:00.000+08:00

Here is some information on the Longmen Grottoes before I begin my review of this area. The Longmen Grottoes are located near Luoyang and are a large collection of ancient Buddhist cave art. The grottos were carved during the Northern Wei Dynasty, when the rulers relocated their capital at Luoyang near the end of the 5th century. At that time Buddhism was spreading east into China and was venerated by the imperial court. The Buddhists adopted the practice of carving rock temples, dedicated to the Buddha. This construction began 493 during the reign of Emperor Xiaowen and continued for a span of over 400 years. There are 2345 caves and niches, 2800 inscriptions, 43 pagodas and over 100,000 Buddhist images along the 1-km-long cliff of Mt. Longmen on the west and Mt. Xiangshan on the east of the Yihe River south of Luoyang. The most impressive area are the stone statues in Fengxian Cave, carved under the edict of Empress Wuzetian (reigned 690-705). These are composed of a 17.14-meter-high statue of Vairocana Buddha, and a series of pairs of Bodhisattvas, heavenly kings, protectors and worshippers. The huge statue of Vairocana Buddha is today praised as being the quintessence of Buddhist sculpture in China.

The sheer magnitude of these caves was remarkable. Unfortunately, the majority of the sculptures have been damaged to some degree and/or defaced. As we walked along and looked into the huge number of small caves all along the grotto, you could see many of the statutes had the heads removed or the heads were damaged to the point that you could not make out anything more than it was a head at one time. Also missing in the majority of the sculptures were the hands/fingers which meant you could not make out the hand gestures (which illustrated what the Buddha was trying to convey). In my readings on this area I found out that this damage was done during the Opium Wars and the Eight-Nation Alliance (Boxer rebellion) but I have to admit to a little skepticism to exactly what caused the damage to these carvings. I don’t know if I fully accept that all of this damage was done during these times (around 1900) because the damage seems a lot like what would happen during the CR. Perhaps the information is correct but perhaps not; there really isn’t any way to know for sure.

As we continued to look into the caves (some big and some small, as you might notice in the photos) and see the same type of damage in each you felt a sense of frustration about what had been done. At the time of completion of these caves, it must have been an awesome sight to behold all of these carvings. Unfortunately, we will never know what it was but you can imagine what must have been when this area was complete. There were stairs everywhere to allow you to go up into the next level of carvings/caves. There were very few signs in English to explain where we were or what section of the grottoes we were in. There is a lot in the information about the caves and I had a different idea of what the caves were but it turns out the caves were all of the “nooks and crannies” in the sides of the cliffs where the drawings and sculptures were located. It was just cave after cave after cave, and then on to the next level which had yet more caves. Some of the sculptures were very small but they still contained a lot of detail. You could never get too close to the images because they were blocked off with fencing to keep people out. The 17.1 meter Buddha statue area was by far the most impressive but again, the damage done took something away from the work. After this area of the grottoes, it was time to turn around and head back to the buses. Now this was odd to us (Steve and I). The Chinese took very little time to look around and try to imagine what this area must’ve looked like, they moved to get photos and kept on moving. It was more about getting the photo that trying to absorb what they were looking at. There were still grottos on the other side of the river but we didn’t have the time to go over and look. This is just so different than how we vacation. We try to see as much as we can but we also take our time to view and enjoy what we are seeing. In the case of this outing, we had a schedule to keep and we were going to keep that schedule.

For us, when we take a trip/vacation, we plan on downtime and keep only a rough schedule of what we want to do. But, that’s when we travel on our own. When you travel in a large group, it’s a different story. You have a schedule set and you follow it since no one person is more important than the group. We asked many of our colleagues what they thought of this area. The typical answer, it was old and that was it. They enjoyed the Shaolin Temple much, much more. Perhaps they are accustomed to things that are extremely old due to the long history of China so stuff like this doesn’t interest them much. It’s the same in Suzhou, I’ve asked them if they’ve been to Tiger Hill and most will say “No. There isn’t much to do there.” The historical/cultural significance is lost on them but again, perhaps they are immune. Maybe they hear so many stories from their parents that it loses some meaning. (Yeah, yeah, yeah. Back in the days of the Ming dynasty, blah, blah, blah).

So, it’s back on the bus to head into town to eat and get to the hotel for the night. We descended on the restaurant just like we did for lunch (like the Alfred Hitchcock birds on a small child). The food was good, nothing really special but it was hot and edible (two positive things). Basically the same menu as lunch, bread, rice, a couple of vegetable dishes, a toufu dish and some meat dishes to fill your tummy. What I found interesting was that on the way to the food, we saw a bust on the side of the road that looked familiar. It was Ben Franklin (or Ben Franklim as it was spelled on the image), why…I don’t know but it was interesting to find in Luoyang, China.

We stayed at the F-Comfort Inn (not a place you would stay in the US, think about it). It wasn’t a 5 star place, perhaps 2 stars but it had a bed and shower so it was a step above the train lodgings. It was about 8:30pm when we crashed, we had been up since 5:30am after a night with little sleep with a lot of walking and bus rides so we were happy to be able to get a good night’s rest. The hotel had a “free” breakfast buffet so we planned on getting up plenty early so we could claw and scratch our way into this small breakfast nook to get something to eat before our long bus ride to the next stop on our tour of this portion of Henan province.

On a side note, on the dresser were two bottles of water, a bottle of OJ and a bottle of green tea. Steve and I took these and drank them since we couldn’t drink the water from the sink (obviously). We found out the following morning that these weren’t free. They made a big deal that someone took the water and stuff. Of course they were saying this in Chinese and talking to our group about the situation. When I asked what the problem was it was like someone had stolen these items from the room. When I told them that Steve and I took these things, the kids thought it was funny. They said “these weren’t free”, to which I replied, “how would we know that since nothing was in English?” I told them that in the US, things like this are free in US hotels otherwise, they wouldn’t be there out in the open. If things aren’t free, it’s posted and typically they have a mini bar to hold them making it obvious that something wasn’t free. So we had to pay all of 14 RMB to rectify the situation. It was somewhat comical to us; they were making this big fuss over 14 RMB! Whatever! Since it was the Foreigners that created the problem, the furor died down quickly once we gave the money to the tour guide to resolve the problem. Day #1 completed, Day #2 coming soon.

Shaolin Temple

2010-11-27T09:59:00.002+08:00

After the train, we boarded a bus to our first stop on the tour for the day, Shaolin temple. For those that may not know, this is the birthplace of Chinese Kung Fu. It is the place where a younger (more alive) David Carradine learned how to walk on rice paper without leaving any footprints (unfortunately, he didn’t learn how not to choke himself to death while….well, you know the rest of the story Grasshopper). And for those that don’t know either of these things, it is the setting for Kung Fu Panda. It was about a 2 hour bus ride after the nice long train ride so sitting wasn’t exactly what I wanted to be doing but there was little choice.

Luckily for us, the tour guide took it upon herself to help us forget about the aching joints and instead had us focus on the earache/headache she was causing by talking. The bus was equipped with a sound system and speakers at every second row, so she began to give her bullhorn dissertation on Henan province, Shaolin Temple, what she ate for dinner when she was three, why she hated her mom….whatever! I called Tammy so she could get an idea of the noise; it was a constant bullhorn for almost 90 minutes (it was like listen to the drive through guy…you want fries with that?). It got to the point where you were hoping for the bus to plunge off the side of the road and burst into flames just to escape the misery. Earplugs, no use. It wasn’t like everyone was on pins and needles to listen, she just kept talking. I’ll take the water boarding; I’ll listen to the full State of the Union address, even the rebuttal, with no bathroom breaks and no beer, please just stop! After an eternity (and after I confessed to being the gunman on the grassy knoll) she relinquished the microphone to our bus leader John. John talked for a moment and then put the Expats on display. He asked Steve to go up and say a few words, which Steve did. Then it was my turn. They wanted me to sing a song, my choice Western or Chinese (Chinese….now how would that work?). I declined and talked to them about the train experience for me. I had forgotten my faithful teleprompter (I think Mr. Obama had it) and I was a bit surprised by this impromptu speech but I tried to roll with it (Four scores and seven years ago…). It wasn’t much but I left them wanting more (or perhaps they knew if I gave up the microphone, the tour guide took it back).

The landscape was much different on the journey, a lot of deep ravines and gullies and many mountains. The area reminded me a lot of Xi’an. Many farms and small villages could be seen along the way to the temple. I saw some animals but no cows, a lot of sheep and goats grazing in the fields. When we got near the temple, we got into a smaller town where there were kids all in uniforms outside practicing their martial arts in groups. It was a little bizarre but interesting to see. These weren’t monks or anything, just typical school age kids in matching uniforms going through the various drills. It looked like a regular school but obviously was not as much for “book learnin’”.

When we arrived at the temple there were older kids dressed in uniforms performing martial arts moves in sequence with the others around them. It was very interesting to watch as they went through the various moves. There must have been over 500 people out in this area in different groups practicing. Some had no weapons; others had staffs, spears, swords, etc. Something that I was kind of expecting but I wasn’t sure we would be able to see. Then we arrived, or so I thought, we climbed the steps and turned the corner and BAM!! There’s a long line of people waiting to get into this place. (Crap!) I wasn’t sure what it was but it had to be good right? It turns out that this was the line to go into the performance by the Shaolin monks.

The performance had both good and bad points. First thing was that everyone was crowded in and there was little room to maneuver to your seats if you were in the middle of the group. It was like stadium seating (for midgets) with very little room to squeeze by the people to the open middle seats. Then when we were seated a guy gets on the mic and some monks come out and he starts jabbering. It turns out that for a mere 10RMB you could get your photo taken with the monks in a pose looking like you were going to attack something or someone. So, we sat there and watched the people go up, grab their weapon of choice and be told how to stand by the monks and then “poof!” Picture taken….NEXT!!!. People kept going up and they kept talking about it and showing photos even when no one was in line. The show was basically on hold while they sold the photos and if you didn’t get your photo before the show, you could get it after the show was over. By the way, don’t forget your souvenir DVD, only 10 RMB. Strange stuff to watch that took about 15-20 minutes (it would be like going to see Macbeth but first, get your photos taken with the cast while everyone watches and waits). When the photo shoot finally ended, individual monks came out and showed their skills. After showing off the different techniques (monkey, tiger, snake, panda, tour guide….just kidding), out came a different group to show their mastery of mind over matter. One guy broke a metal plate over his head, two guys bent spears pressed into their throats and finally one guy threw a pin at a pane of glass to cause a small bb-type hole in the glass that burst a balloon on the other side. That was kind of impressive. Then a large group came out and did their thing with their moves. Finally they brought in 4 audience members to try and copy the moves of the monks. Our bus leader, John was picked to go onstage to do the moves. He did very well and was able to copy almost all of the moves of the monk. At the end the audience chose the winner. With the audience largely comprised of our bus and company people, John was the clear winner and won a DVD of the monk’s performance. He was very proud and continued to talk about it through the rest of the day. It is something I am sure that he will never forget. The surprising thing is that it was longer waiting for the photos to be taken than the performance…very odd. These monks had obvious skills but were being hawked like cheap jewelry on the street (watch, bag), I would be interested to see how they felt about that. Then we exited and this part of the “temple” was over, we went back onto the path to the old temple.

The old temple was more interesting but along the way you were hounded by people selling trinkets, people selling food and beggars. You believe that…beggars! Inside of the temple area?!?!. I thought these monks were in tune with the world and were to display kindness to everyone, I would’ve thought that no one would need to beg at the temple but there they were (odd how the beggars made it into the temple in the first place since we all had to pay to get in, how could beggars afford the cover charge?). The old temple was restored (obviously) and it looked like many of the temples I have seen in the past but we had to move quickly to keep up with the tour so there was no time to stop and smell the roses. The interesting points here were the trees with alleged finger holes in them from the monks practicing their martial arts skills and many wall inscriptions and other items that would’ve normally caused me to pause and take more notice but the group was moving on. The theme was I came, I saw and I kept going.

Then it was on to the 100 pagoda forest. This is an area where they had small pagodas that were built for the head monks when they died. So obviously there were old and new ones but many of these smaller pagodas built. Each was a little different and you got a sense that perhaps they reflected a little bit on the person for whom they were built. One that was newer drew my attention because it contained images of a car, an airplane and a laptop computer so this monk was obviously more recently deceased. The temple has changed to allow electricity but I wasn’t really sure about the internet access but they probably have that as well. Who knows what else has changed within the temple that we haven’t seen. This was an interesting area but again, move on people; we’ve got to get to lunch. You never really had the time to fully grasp anything, it was get a flavor and move on. There were still areas that we didn’t get to explore but perhaps that is part of the point. This is how they travel; they want to see as much as they can as opposed to enjoying what they can see. It could’ve been worse and you have to remember that this was after an overnight train ride so perhaps I wasn’t in the best of moods (I know, it does sound strange doesn’t it?).

After the 100 pagoda forest, it was turn around and head for the buses. You couldn’t take 30 steps without running into another vendor selling beads or other trinkets. It really took away the mystique for me and showed that the temple had become a money maker for people and the history of the place be damned. The junk being sold was probably the biggest surprise. I went in with the idea that I would purchase a set of nunchucks (after all it was a kung fu place right) but after looking at the quality of the ones they had, I decided against it. There was absolutely nothing special about them, nothing said “Shaoling Temple” to me with the exception of the one monk figurine that I bought for 10 RMB. It summed up the place for me; it was cheap and pretty sad so I got it. I was really expecting to find many things here that peaked my interest but there wasn’t much. I can say I went to the Shaolin Temple and leave it at that. I wish I had more time because the 100 pagoda forest was interesting and there was so much else that we missed that perhaps my perception would’ve changed.

Then it was on the bus to head to the next stop, the Longmen Grottos. Along the way, we would stop for lunch. This was the really interesting part of the day. The bus stops and everyone starts moving like the bus is on fire and we have to escape. I had no idea we were stopping for lunch until we got off and everyone is rushing into the restaurant. Imagine 300+ people descending on a restaurant at the same time. They had tables set for 10 people each and we sat down with little room to move. A lazy susan in the middle allowed for the food to be passed around. Within minutes the food starts to arrive at the table. A big bowl of rice, bread, veggies, pork&veggies, etc. It was like placing food down in front of a group of starving wild dogs. As soon as it hit the table, chopsticks were flying to get the food; food was being consumed at a rate that I could not believe. Granted it was about 2:00 in the afternoon but “Holy Locust Attack Batman!” They hogged down, it was every man and woman for themselves; if you wanted to eat you had better jump in or it would be gone. I don’t know what the hurry was (chow it down before the taste catches up with you!) but the food was pretty good and believe me, my expectations were pretty low for the food on this trip. In less than 15 minutes lunch was over and we were back on the bus (seriously, less than 15 minutes).

On to the Longmen Grottos, coming soon.

PS - November was a busy month for the China Dudley's. Warren went to Japan at the same time that I went to Henan Province. When we got back, that Thursday we all headed to Beijing so there is a lot to write about and we'll try to get it all posted as quickly as we can. Check out the photos as well, we will have new albums uploaded with photos to go along with the posts. Happy belated Thanksgiving!

Overnight Train

2010-11-16T19:41:00.003+08:00

Since we have been to China, Tammy and I have discussed taking an overnight train to Beijing or somewhere else. It seemed there was a certain sense of the train being a great way to travel and see the country. There was almost a mystique to the stories we heard describing the trains and we drank the Kool-Aid and thought it sounded very special. I am here to tell you that the bloom is off of the rose on this one. As Paul Harvey would say; “and now….the rest of the story.”

The company held an outing over the past weekend to Henan province to visit a few of the local sights (I won’t tell you where so you’ll have to check in again to find out). In order to get to Henan, specifically Zhengzhou, we would take the overnight train leaving Suzhou at 6:00pm and arriving in Zhengzhou at about 8:30am. So we took the sleeper train to Zhengzhou. It would be the first time I had traveled like that and I could get the Chinese experience of traveling like the locals that we see on the weekends walking around in their group hats. So with a certain sense of excitement and trepidation, I accepted the offer to make the journey with the other 300+ associates of the company. I didn’t know exactly where I would be sleeping, with whom I would be traveling or anything but I hoped for the best (and prepared for the worst). The train station is nothing new so I won’t go through that saga, it was the normal train station experience (at least normal for here). So when it comes time, I climb aboard the sleeper train (in this case we were on what is referred to as a “hard sleeper”). It was a little stunning, I have to be honest. Each car held 66 people and had a aisleway/corridor that ran down the one side of the car. On the other side were bunks, 6 in a section (so for you math wizards there were 11 sections per train). No doors, no curtains or anything to separate you from the masses, just your bunk and a place to toss your stuff. It wasn’t exactly made for Westerners, especially the top bunks. My ticket was for the top bunk and when I climbed to the top, I bopped my head immediately when I attempted to sit up. There was no room to sit, you could only lay down. You were about 7-8 feet off the floor on the top bunk, no guardrails or anything to keep you from going over during the night (I can hear the stampede of ambulance chasers now running to file lawsuits). There was a pillow and comforter stacked on each bunk and that’s about it. The aisleway had small “table tops” that were by the windows along with folding seats so you could sit at the table and talk, eat or play cards. Pretty rustic stuff compared to what I was expecting. Just so you know, one of the kids swapped bunks with me so I could be on the bottom bunk which was the largest bunk and doubled as a “sofa” for people to sit and talk. I know that you are asking yourselves about the “accommodations” (“Stop boring us with that stuff, tell us about the toilets?”). Well, at one end of the car were two sinks for all of your bathing & hygiene needs. At either end of the car was a toilet but as you might imagine, it wasn’t a Western potty, it was the squatty potty. There was a nice handrail low on the wall by the potty so you could brace yourself with the movement of the train and a “gas pedal” to flush. (The way it was put together was comical. I thought all they needed was a steering wheel instead of the handrail and it could’ve been driving practice.) The ventilation was a small window, and there was a tiny sink and of course the wastebasket for all of your used tp. It wasn’t exactly the gold standard for toilets but when you travel like the locals….

Now although there were many people in the company on the train, there were just as many regulars on the train that were forced to intermingle with the confusion and chaos created by a bunch of young Chinese “kids” that were going on a field trip (with no chaperones). That’s the only way I could describe it, it was a group of unsupervised 20-30 year olds that were going on an all expense paid vacation (or you can take what’s behind Door #2, tell them what it is Johnny Olson…..a new car!). Chaotic and entertaining all rolled into one. How they interacted with each other is hard to describe but everyone seems to get along like they’ve known each other since grade school. I guess it would be best described like the Expats here. We all share one common experience, living in a foreign country and since we can share that, we hang out together and form bonds. For many of the workers it is the same thing. They left home to come to Suzhou to work, they find others in the same situation and they form an almost instant bond. We were hired on the same day so you are now my new best friend. Given that they are all generally under the age of 25, perhaps it’s better viewed like a fraternity party without the alcohol but with the same amount of energy. There is no consideration of others, it’s party time!

Since it was after 6:00, they started bringing out their food for the trip. I’ll take a quick segway here into how they pack. I packed for 3 days with change of clothes, toiletries, etc. I mean think about how you would pack and what kind of suitcase you might need. After all, we’re headed Northwest of Suzhou so the weather will be different and we had to prepare for rain, etc. I got everything into a mid-size backpack and had a smaller pack for the camera. I also took 2 boxes of granola bars for sustenance since I had no idea what would be on the menu anywhere. I made every effort to not go overboard with clothes and stuff but it was difficult. I wanted to be warm so it took a little more thought to try and get everything to work out. When I looked at what I was carrying compared to the locals, it appeared that I was headed into the wilderness for a month long trek on the Silk Road. How did they pack? They packed FOOD and perhaps a change in undies or a heavy jacket but that was it. Many just had a plastic bag with food and no change in clothes. Seriously, they wore the same thing each day but for them, it was normal. The girls tended to pack more stuff and had small backpacks but most didn’t have any change in clothes so every day they wore the same outfit. It was about the food and how much you could bring along. They had fruit, cakes, dried fruit, dried meats & fish, chips, nuts, just about everything you could think of that you would not take (chicken feet, packaged eggs, packaged tofu, etc.). Some had noodle bowls that they would add hot water and eat while others basically snacked for their meal. Me, I had ½ of a Subway sandwich for dinner. Beyond the food, the interesting part was that they shared everything they had with others. They opened their bag of food and offer stuff to others. Sometimes, they would open the bags of others and grab something out and begin to munch on it. This was so different than I expected. In the US if you open my bag and grab my food, we’re going to have a problem. Not even a second thought was given and everyone happily shared with others. They continued all night to offer me food and it was like I could never refuse it. I would decline, it would be offered again and again until I took some. One of the ladies brought sushi that she made herself. I was scared to death of this. It was 7:00, no refrigeration since she left home (if it was in the fridge at all) and I had no idea if it had shrimp or what kind of meat in it. Talk about your walking wounded if that came back on me. Throwing up with a Western potty provides some degree of trepidation on a train (who sat on this last?) but when you think about throwing up in a squatty…..yikes! (I know, paints a pretty picture doesn’t it) Turns out, I did try it and the meat was a hot dog cube in the middle with a cucumber for the veggie. It was very delicious and I was surprised (and thankful that I didn’t pay the price for this test). So, there wasn’t really what we would call a meal, it was grazing for supper. Then when they were hungry again, they pulled out more snacks to eat and snacked some more. The calorie intake wasn’t very high and there was a lot of junk eaten but it seemed normal to them and I just sat and observed. Every once in awhile a train attendant would walk down the aisleway with a cart of drinks and snacks. There was also the “soup cart” that a lady came through with. It was like the carts for airplanes but the sides were solid and there was a huge container with a ladle sticking out for the soup. This looked like a wagon that would be used at a prison where they would walk by and slosh some broth or gruel into your cup (please sir, may I have a scrap of bread to go with my broth?). Nasty looking stuff and I didn’t see anyone eat it. Every once in awhile an attendant would come through with a trash bag and a broom to keep the place clean.

The cars were all connected and in between each section was the smoking area. It didn’t really matter much because the smell of cigarettes wafted just about everywhere. So you had a lot of noise with the talking and laughing of the locals, the “smooth” (that’s sarcasm just so you know) movement of the train and the smell of cigarettes to create an ambiance that was completely new to me. I think I had walked into the bar like Luke Skywalker in the original Star Wars movie (but it’s now Star Wars IV right), it was the same feeling. We had many stops along the way for people to get on and off the train so it was ride for awhile, stop, ride, stop…you get the drift. I just people watched and talked with those that spoke some English. I was surrounded by the kids so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. They played the Chinese version of poker but I could not figure out how it was played. They didn’t play for money and it was more about the interaction than anything else for the girls. They would look at each others hands, steal cards, etc. It was an interesting dynamic as they just wanted to talk and have fun, the game was secondary to everything else. Steve and I taught a couple of them how to play Texas Hold’em since we couldn’t understand their game. They seemed to grasp it but it took all they could do to keep from taking the cards from the center and using them in their hand.

At 9:45pm, the attendant came through and indicated the lights would be turned off at 10:00 so everyone started to get ready for bed. I was a lot nervous about the pillow and comforter since I didn’t see that they had any kind of sanitary environment for washing these items (if they washed them). So I decided to snuggle down with just my jacket as a blankey. When the lights went off, it didn’t stop the noise, they kept chatting away like it was nothing but I had prepared for this eventuality by bringing along earplugs to wear. There were several issues besides the noise from talking, one was the aisleway lights. They were pointed more across the aisle than down at the floor so they were light little laser beams that hit you in the face unless you moved your foot or something to block the glare. Then there were the window curtains that didn’t block out all of the light so when you went by another station or train or any kind of light, it lit up the entire compartment. Of course there was the herky-jerky motion of the train and then the stops up until about midnight where people were getting on and off the train and of course they had to walk through your car to get to where they were going, chatting all the way (by chatting I mean loudly projecting their voice to be heard on the other side of the universe, “Is this the car”, “Nope, 12 more to go”, “Okay, what else can we talk about on the way there?”, “How about I tell you a story about the little engine that couldn’t shut the hell up”, “I love that story, I’m sure everyone else wants to hear it too.”, “You are right, I’ll talk louder”…and of course they had the obligatory bump of their luggage against each and every bunk as they walked by. Ma and Pa Wang go to Zhengzhou.) I placed my jacket over my head to block the light, put in my earplugs and tried to sleep. I kept having this weird dream that I was taking a loud, crowded, smoky train across China and every time I woke up, it was true! Aiya! I think I was finally able to nod off at about 11:30-12:00 and slept in intervals of maybe 60-90 minutes. It wasn’t the most comfortable bed in the world but at least it was a sleeper car (maybe I stated this before but I have a colleague that took a 21 hour train ride to his hometown and had to purchase a standing room only ticket, now that would be very uncomfortable!). At around 5:30am, the kids began to stir and chat it up again and get their morning breakfast. Fruit, nuts, candy, junk food, whatever. Me, I took my Sigg bottle (that’s an endorsement people, they owe me $5) and headed to the hot water dispenser with my coffee pack to get the morning jolt at about 6:30. I walked by people splashing themselves in the sinks like birds in a birdbath, no nakedness so at least I didn’t have to see that. I had my granola bars and ate my breakfast and tried to come alive. They kept asking me if I needed to “shower” (which I guess was splash myself with cold water) and I indicated I already had. No change in clothes, just wake up and come as you are…not exactly a refreshing morning but at least we were closer to our destination.

Stay tuned for the destination.....

The Penthouse

2010-11-09T20:39:00.001+08:00

Our new apartment has 4-bedrooms, a study, a large open area and a laundry room that is 250 sq meters in size (it’s bigger than our house). It’s huge! It’s on the top floor of the apartment complex and it has two levels (so we’re the Drummonds, up in the penthouse with two floors. What? You don’t know who the Drummonds are? What you talking ‘bout Willis? If you still don’t get the reference, either I’m too old or you’re too young and I’m opting for the latter.) It takes some getting used to, having two levels but over time, I am sure we will become accustomed to the changes. It is an older apartment complex (for here, older could mean between 5 and 10 years) but we’re not sure when the complex was established and you can’t really tell from the apartment. The Chateau Regency, where we originally lived was less than 10 years old but based on the appearance and how things were breaking down; you would’ve thought it was much, much older. We gave up some of the “newness” of the Horizon complex and some of the benefits from that but we were able to find a place that was cheaper by a large amount and where we could still be less than cramped. After all, we had less than 10 days to get out so we’re very lucky to have found this place.

Thus far the landlady seems very nice. She was here when we moved in and came back to watch them install a new AC unit in Jacob’s bedroom. That was interesting to watch. The AC units have an interior and exterior component. The interior is a rectangular unit that hangs on the wall. The exterior unit is a small box (maybe 70 cm x 50cm x 30 cm) that goes outside (like an AC unit at home for central air). We’re on the 9th floor so placing the exterior unit outside is a little different. They have to go out the window, remove the old unit and put the new unit in place. The guy uses a rope for a harness and ties himself off to the framework for the AC units on the outside of the building. It’s a little dicey to watch, it’s not like he is using a safety harness like we would see back home, it’s a self-made rope harness. It looks like something that Bear Grylls would use to cross a ravine in Man vs. Wild. I also wouldn’t trust my life to the framework, I mean he has about 4’ of rope between him and the harness, he could build up just enough momentum if he slipped for the framework to get pulled off the building where the rope is attached and down he goes (it’s not the fall that kills you…). They know what they are doing (I guess) but it’s not for me, that’s for sure. It didn’t take them long to replace it and get the new unit running (no accidents). After it was changed out, they talked to Warren about the controls (totally ignoring me, what am I chopped liver…I guess they’ve heard about my Chinese language skills). He seemed to understand and got the basics but they are a dozen buttons on the remote. How many do you really need? On/off, temp up/down, heat/cool/fan….anything else? Anyhow, it is what it is and we’re ready to use it when the weather will require a change.

For many of the other items in the house, I took photos of the controls and had to get with the kids from work to provide the translations. They gave me the Pinyin spelling (which is the pronounciation of the character) and I took it home and looked it up to find the real words. Unfortunately, some of the literal translation doesn’t work so well and needs some additional translating. Strong Wash, Strong Dry, Quick Wash, Quick Dry are okay but others like Quick Spin, I don’t know if this is a rinse cycle or a drying cycle (since this is a washer/dryer combination). What’s the difference between the Strong Wash and the Strong Quick Wash, I don’t know. I guess we’ll have to try it and find out.

The complex we live in now has many more Chinese than Horizon and it shows in several different ways. First, in the building opposite us there is a guy that plays a Chinese wind instrument that makes it sound like we are in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. He plays it very often and it echoes around the buildings. I have to admit it’s not super annoying and a little soothing but it’s not something we are used to hearing all of the time. He is pretty good too but I am surprised at how often he plays it. Out in front there is a blue pajama party every morning where the ladies (dressed in their light blue jam-jams) perform Tai Chi, sometimes with swords. Nothing gets you moving faster than an old lady with a sword in her hand (I’ll show you whipper-snappers). In the evening, a group made of mostly of women will meet out in front of the marketplace in the complex to dance. It’s an odd line dance type thing but it is interesting to see. At first I thought it was a special night or something; but they seem to do it quite regularly. Of course the third thing is that there are a lot more Chinese living in the complex. Since the apartments are cheaper, they are in the price range of more of the locals. It isn’t a problem and actually is a little more fun to watch the people here.

We gave up the garbage disposal (bummer) and there are not as many outlets in the apartment but otherwise, we’re doing okay in the new place. We also gave up the code entry door to one where we have to carry a key (that’s so 80’s) but it could be worse. We can still get to our favorite restaurants and walk to the same places as we did before. Some are closer, others are a little farther away but it’s all good. We have a small view of the lake so at least we’re not just stuck staring at another building. So, there you have it in a very short summary (you don’t have to thank me), our new penthouse. So you knock on the door (the doorbell plays Oh Suzanna, now that’s annoying) to the penthouse don’t expect to see Mrs. Garrett (back to the Different Strokes reference again)…it’s just us.

Get out there

2010-11-02T16:10:00.001+08:00

Okay folks! It’s that time of year where you need to step it up and perform your civic duty as a US Citizen. Vote! Get out there and be heard. Hopefully, you are informed about the candidates you will choose (if not, you should probably stay home since you can do more harm than good) and the ballot initiatives that you will be voting on. We take this for granted but it is something that we should embrace. If you don’t like the direction you see the school board, county judge, governor, etc. is headed, go and let them know. You don’t get this option everywhere around the world (like somewhere we all know). In the US, we have the opportunity to make a difference and unfortunately many people throw that away (in some cases some do it even when they vote...oops!). I won’t get on my soapbox (unless you beg) and tell you who to vote for. Everyone has their own reasons for voting for a person so just be informed (meaning educated, look for the cake and not the frosting if you understand my meaning) and vote. Everyone is saying this may be the most important election ever but we should all vote like each election is the most important one (the most important game is the next one).

It’s too bad that we can’t vote out a football coach. Wade, thanks for the memories pal but you’ve got to go. My Cowboys are in shambles. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. The best part is that I don’t have to watch them go out and not compete each week. Winning is always a good thing but when they don’t compete and begin to mail it in….that’s when I can’t stand watching. I’ve been through the 1-15 season before but at least then it was obvious that they were rebuilding. This year, a talented team that was picked to be one of the best….something has to be done. Wade, bring me your torch….the tribe has spoken.

In the house

2010-11-02T16:09:00.000+08:00

Technically it is an apartment but you know what we mean. After all of the headaches and consternation over the past 10 days, we have moved into a new apartment at Landmark Skylight. By new, I mean new to us because it is definitely not a new place. However, all-in-all, things could be much worse and we are thankful to have a roof over our heads.

This has been my third move since arriving in Suzhou. First it was at the Chateau Regency. There I lived in three different units, one by myself and then two after the family arrived. It wasn’t a bad place but much of the luster was lost when the people working there started to depart. Much of the experience there depended on how much you were willing to adapt to the constantly changing environment and uncertainty of what would happen tomorrow. We stayed for several months before asking for the option to leave (the revolving door of prostitutes in the area sealed the deal). Then we moved into Horizon. Our landlady seemed very nice until the day we signed the contract. From that moment, it was a struggle to get anything fixed in the apartment. The final straw came with the air conditioner unit that would leak gallons of water (sorry, liters) a day from the ceiling. It was causing issues (although the drip bucket on the floor really went well with our “ourdoor living” motif) and she didn’t want to get it fixed. When all was said and done (and I’ve edited myself here to stop with the long-winded explanation of the issue…hey, no need to thank me) it was a relatively easy fix but it took several months and several dozen AC guys to “look at the problem” before it was fixed. [This seems to be a Chinese thing, whenever there is a problem they always go to the extreme as the solution. There is no logical process to the problem solving, it’s jump to a conclusion and ride it out.] And now, here we are in Landmark Skylight. We hope this will be the last move we have to make in China but many other Expats move every year so you can never say never.

We packed the stuff ourselves. We had them drop off 15 boxes early in the week and each night we would try to fill a couple of boxes. Clothes are easy; it’s all the breakables that create the challenge. We’re not professionals and didn’t have all the paper and stuff used to place between places, bowls, glasses, etc. So we had to improvise. We placed underwear between the plates and bowls to provide the cushion and prevent the breakage. Then it was just a matter of getting the glasses wrapped up. Okay, I’m joking, we didn’t use underwear to keep the plate separated. After all everyone knows that you use underwear to wrap up the utensils, you use socks for the glasses (still joking!). Anyhow, we filled all of our suitcases plus the 15 boxes and still had some left over that we used bags and other things we had around to load. The biggest concern we had was our framed artwork.

The “3 guys and a truck” moving company showed up a little later than planned. The cops were called while they were trying to enter the complex so we’re not sure what happened there but we were worried that the husband had once again decided to stir the pot. Thankfully the “situation” was resolved and when they reached the apartment we showed them all of the stuff (and it was a lot more than I would have imagined) and they began to move the boxes. None of the guys were young but they grabbed the boxes and began to load the elevator. They would take the stuff off of the elevator and then place them on a large sled (like the ones at Home Depot that you push around) and roll the boxes out of the complex to their truck (about 100 meters, maybe more on the winding walking paths). It was a mid-size flatbed truck with “raised sides” so it wasn’t the standard US moving van. They had tarps in case of rain (of course who knows how many holes were in those tarps) so they were ready although the weather was pretty darned nice for a move. They moved very fast and got the first load out within about 20 minutes. They made me package the pictures after they provided me with a box and some thin Styrofoam strips to cover the glass. It wasn’t what I would call “heavy duty protection”, I would’ve had more protection if I wrapped the pictures in a paper towel (or perhaps my underwear). At least they made an effort. I actually used the stuff and placed pillows around the pictures since the box was way too big for the pictures. Tammy and our real estate agent went over to the new apartment to meet with the landlady while Jacob and I stayed put to watch them pack (and by watch I mean Jacob was sprawled out on the couch playing his Nintendo DS). Warren was at band practice (he was the lucky one) at school so he escaped all the stuff. The guy came back into the apartment and said something to me but I didn’t know what he said. I asked Jacob to pay attention while he said it again (of course by pay attention Jacob actually moved slightly but didn’t take his eyes off the screen). He was telling us that the truck had taken the first load over and he would take everything down to the first floor and wait for them. I didn’t figure this out, Jacob told me what he said (which makes it even more annoying that I’ve been taking these Chinese classes for over a year now and still can’t get it. I’ve know much more useful things like how to ask to have my hair dyed at the beauty salon…sheesh! This is why I don’t speak much Chinese, I’m afraid they’ll ask me something and I’ll tell them that I like their new hairdo.). At about that time, in comes the satellite guy to take our box to the new place. I would tell you how he had it hooked up but you wouldn’t believe me anyhow (there goes Scott embellishing another China experience again). It only took about 90 minutes to get all of the stuff out. I was surprised, they moved very fast and didn’t break anything despite our fears (you see, the underwear worked, and you thought I was crazy!). The most surprising thing is the cost. It was 150 RMB per truckload of stuff. 150 RMB! For those keeping score at home, that’s about $22. It seems like a lot of work for a very little bit of money but it’s what they do. The more they move, the more they make. Come back later and I’ll tell you more about the new place.

Bust a Move

2010-10-27T21:47:00.001+08:00

This time last year, we completed our search for a new apartment where we could spread out and be around more families. The grass hasn’t always been greener in the apartment but we didn’t expect that we would never encounter problems when we moved out of the Chateau. We moved into our apartment at Horizon Resorts in October of last year. With a one year lease ending soon, we had been talking with our agent about extending the lease for the remainder of my contract. Up until recently, we expected to have the extension (if you read carefully, you should know what is coming next). We found out last Thursday (yes, that is correct Thursday, October 21) that we are out on our butts at the end of the month. WHAT!?!?!?

It turns out that our landlord is in the midst of a divorce and unfortunately for us, we are collateral damage. Her husband (it’s always the husband’s fault isn’t it?) wants his fair share of the assets (they own 10 different apartments in Suzhou) and the only way that he could get that was to go through the courts for the cash settlement of the assets. At first, it was a question of the courts to decide but we would be granted a 1 month extension to see what would happen. If the apartment were to be sold, we would have to be out at the end of November. However, it seems that this isn’t acceptable and therefore the apartment will go up for auction much sooner. Due to this, there will be a new owner and a lot of uncertainty. The one certain thing is that we cannot be in the apartment when it goes up for auction. Did I mention that we found this out on Thursday (9 days before the end of the month)? Tammy had already been doing some preliminary apartment looks just in case something would happen but she was unable to find anything suitable in our price range (and by suitable I mean clean and in decent condition).

So Thursday we immediately raised the stress level to orange. At 7:00, we met with our realtor/agent and took a look at two of the “better” apartments from the previous lot that Tammy had viewed. One needed a lot of work, the fridge had not been used in some time and they had closed it without airing it out. When you opened it, you were immediately sorry you did (a new fridge was the only option). There were other issues as well so the apartment wasn’t really on the list. The second apartment we looked at we had seen in the past. We knew the pervious tenants and it had been open since the summer. They had painted it and it was in good condition. Both apartments were in Horizon so we didn’t have to move far so that was a good thing. Our agent contacted the second landlord on Friday but it seemed that someone else also looked at the apartment as well and they wanted to increase their asking price. It was nice but I wasn’t going to get into a bidding war over the place (plus we found out the landlords were not as nice as advertised, sign the deal and they instantly turned into deaf, dumb and blind….see no tenants, hear no tenants, think no tenants). So, we were still were without anything and the countdown timer was rolling.

We had to expand beyond Horizon since it seemed that the prices here are higher than other areas (although I am not certain I know why). We first went to Bai Ling to look at 7 apartments there. Some were okay but only 2 made our list. The others had too many things that would need to be changed (one had a nice “theme” for the one bedroom, it was like little Timmy’s wild adventures. The ceiling light was a sun, there were glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling as well. One wall had fishies, one wall had aireoplanes, one wall had birds and the other wall was full of 3M sticky pads from the stuff that had been removed). Then it was on to Four Seasons to look at a duplex. This was a quaint (Tammy’s term) place, it was a two story apartment, not too small but not really big that actually had a small backyard (and by small I mean when I say it’s time to cut the grass you grab your scissors). Then we looked at one place at Landmark Skylight. This apartment was separated into two floors and actually had a lot of space, it was very nice so we had to make a choice. The most interesting thing is the prices for the apartments. There was a 3,000 RMB difference in price between the 250 sq. meter apartment at Landmark versus a 210 sq. meter apartment at Horizon. The smaller apartment at Horizon was more expensive than the larger apartment at Landmark (and yes, I wrote that correctly). Landmark is an older complex which probably plays into the price but still, that’s a lot of coin to pay for a newer place.

I really don’t like to apartment search (especially with such short notice) but we hope we get a shot at the right place. Now, we are in the offer and wait mode to see what comes of the offers we have put on the apartments. When they give you a price, it is the same as the US. It’s the rental cost without any of the extras. Water, gas, electricity, telephone, internet, etc. are all additional costs that have to be negotiated into the contract. Here, we try to negotiate all of the costs to be paid by the landlord since it takes all of that extra stuff away from us and makes it one check (one call does it all) to track every month.

Now the story gets even more interesting. Divorces in China are just as brutal as the ones in the US. Tuesday, the husband of our landlady “stopped by” (and by stopped by I mean he attempted to break into the apartment by picking the lock) to see the apartment. He convinced one of the people from the management office to help him to get into the apartment (with a 100 RMB bribe). Tammy was just out of the shower and didn’t hear the doorbell so she was surprised when she found these two at the front door trying to pick the lock. She didn’t know who the guy was but assumed he was there to look at the apartment (potential buyer) since there was another person that was there earlier. So in he comes and begins the third degree on Tammy, he wants to see the contract/lease, how much do we pay, etc. She calls our agent and he talks to her on the phone. Tammy calls me and lets me know what is happening. This fool is in the apartment and refuses to leave until he gets the contract. We are under no obligation to show it to him since his name isn’t on it and we don’t know who the hell he is so she tells him no. He continues to ask how much we pay, etc. I go to the people at work and ask for help to get him out. They contact Sammi (our agent) and she already knows. So I call Tammy and ask to speak with the guy. I tell him he should leave and he claims not to speak English (this really fired me up because I knew he could understand me), so I start raising my voice and indicate to him that he should leave because he was asked to leave by Tammy. He listens and hands the phone back to Tammy. Did I mention that I am in the front office at work cursing over the phone at this idiot? I mean, here he is in my apartment refusing to leave and giving my wife the third degree…what would you do? I ask to get a taxi to go home and see what is happening. Sammi is on her way to the apartment to assist. Meanwhile, Tammy is held back from meetings at the school because she can’t leave with this man sitting on the couch (like a small child, I’m going to hold my breath until you give in and give me what I want).

When I arrive at the apartment, there are 5 Chinese in the apartment including the fool and of course Tammy. One security guy from the complex, two people from the real estate agent’s office and a others that I don’t know. It was surreal. I ask why they have to deal with this problem in our apartment; it’s between him and his wife. It turns out that he has called the police and we are waiting for them to arrive. When they arrive, he speaks with them and with my limited Chinese I only understood that he wanted the contract for the apartment. He claims that his wife told him the apartment was empty and he wants to see the contract to know that we are okay to be here (I call BS!!!). So we get asked for our passports by the police and then after they take the information, everyone slowly goes into the hallway. The landlady is contacted and is convinced to provide the contract to her soon to be ex-husband (gee, I wonder what went wrong with this loving couple?). We wait for another 20 minutes and someone shows up with the contract. He comes back and apologizes (like I give a rats butt!) and says he will not be back (the anti-Arnold). The man from the realtors office tells us that his wife made a false claim to the courts and the contract will help him in court. I tell them that I hope he gets what he deserves (it’s too bad in cases like this that good old American sarcasm is lost on the Chinese because he didn’t get the meaning). Then, poof, it’s all over. After 2 hours of this garbage, things settle back down I guess but many questions remain. Okay, now that the contract has been looked at, is he coming back on the 1st to be sure we are gone? When can we move into the new place?

It still boggles my mind that he actually came into the apartment and refused to leave. What would’ve happened had he done this to the kids? I don’t think he understood our anger but he and everyone else knew that we were unhappy. I think that if they didn’t know some Laowai swear words, they should know a few by now. Back home, he probably could’ve been prosecuted for trespassing (he really had no legal right to the place that I know of) or someone could’ve busted a cap in his butt. This is some crazy stuff people. The old adage, money is the root of all evil seems to fit the bill. Stay tuned, more to come on this situation as the week progresses.

The Wedding Singer

2010-10-19T07:47:00.001+08:00

I have mentioned before about walking along the lake and seeing the wedding parties and all of the photos being taken of the bride and groom. It’s an odd sight and because the photos are taken with what we (Westerners) would call typical wedding attire, they don’t draw too much interest from us except just to people watch. Watch how the bride and groom walk separately from area to area to get the photos taken. She is usually with her family and he is with his friends, you would expect a little more intimacy between the two but you just don’t see it. Anyhow, one of the kids at work was getting married and I asked him questions about the wedding and I found out some very interesting things regarding the weddings in China. What I see in Suzhou is not a traditional wedding. Ocean (that is his English name) happened to have videos of his brother’s wedding that he shared with me and that opened my eyes a little to what the traditional Chinese wedding is like.

First, they don’t wear white! For the Western weddings; white is a symbol of purity (even if it is the 2nd wedding, 3rd wedding, etc.). In China, white is worn for funerals (hmmm, wedding = death…..fill in your own comical observation here) and it is worn for those that want to embrace the Westerner style wedding, which is becoming more common especially in the bigger cities with larger Western populations. The Chinese wedding dress is red. The gown, the veil, the whole thing is a deep red color. At first glance you say “WOW! That is one red dress!” but after you get used to it, it is actually not much different than a white wedding dress. It has a similar style to it (at least to my untrained, non-metrosexual male eye) but just using red rather than white cloth.

Second, you don’t see the groom in a tuxedo. The groom was in a suit that may have been passed down and that he clearly was not comfortable wearing. The knot on the tie was a little off and not so tight and the suit wasn’t buttoned. I don’t want this to sound judgmental, it’s an observation. The suit wasn’t tailored to fit and it was probably purchased off the rack. This would be no different than a suit that someone back home might wear to church (or a funeral…there I go again).

Third, the only two people dressed up were the bride and groom. Everyone else was wearing something clean but they weren’t all decked out for the wedding. You could not see any hint of groomsman or bridesmaids; it was the bride, the groom and everyone else. This is where it started to become clear to me how different we are. This wedding was out in the country and so there was no “big city” influences. These people worn nice clothes or what they had in the closet and no one was there to judge them on the fact that they showed up with jeans and a t-shirt. It wasn’t the clothes that they wore; it was the fact that they were there that made the difference. So much different from the US where the wedding has become less about the union between two people and more about the gowns, the tuxedos, the flowers, the catering, the location, the honeymoon spot, the guest registry, the gifts and on and on (if you didn’t know Tammy and I got married in Gatlinburg, TN, just the two of us. We thought it was the right decision for us but everyone has their own path to follow. We’ve been married for 16 years, so it’s really not all about the peripheral junk; it’s about the commitment you make to each other, for better or for worse. I’m not judging those who follow the “traditional route”, I’m just saying that for us, we made the right decision).

Fourth, the bride was removed from her house sitting in a chair with a hood over her head. I believe this was to signify the stealing of the daughter from her parents to start her new life. Once out of the house, her feet were not to touch the ground until they reached their new home. The people carrying her were family members I assume. All of the women in the family traveled in the same caravan (not a Dodge Caravan, the same group of cars) as the bride. Watching the video it was funny to see all of the people pile out of the small van that was behind the car with the bride. It was almost like a clown car at the circus, people just kept coming out.

Fifth, all of the groom’s belongings were packed up from his home and taken to his new home by the family. You see uncles, cousins, brothers (the one child policy was not for the entire nation, it was for those that lived in the big cities. Most of those in the country have multiple brothers and sisters). They load up the meager (by Western standards) possessions on trucks and haul them out to the new home.

Six, the entire family drives out to the new home of the couple to be married. The groom goes out with his stuff and the bride arrives later. When she arrives, the groom must pick her up out of the car (she doesn’t move to help him, she just sits there so he’s got to have a strong back or she had better be a small woman). He has to carry her while running around the car three times while being chased by a family member. I don’t remember why but this is what the video showed. Once he has made the laps around the car, he then carries her into the yard of their new home and puts her down. Watching the video, she didn’t smile or seem happy the entire time but perhaps it was nerves, he didn’t look too giddy either. Neither looked particularly comfortable but perhaps I don’t know body language that well.

Then I think the ceremony takes place although I can’t really tell. The audio is in Chinese (well duh!!!) so I don’t know what is being done or said through much of the remainder of the video but it is extremely interesting to watch. Other observations;
Each family member of the couple comes down and takes a seat in front of the couple. Again, the furniture here is just some old kitchen chairs but it’s obviously not about the show. As they sit down, they hand an envelope to a person near the chairs who makes a note and tucks the envelope away. This is money for the couple. The couple is standing there facing the chairs. As the family members sit down, the couple must kneel and bow three times. This is a sign of respect not only for the family member but for their ancestors as well. I don’t know how many people they had to bow to but I’m telling you it was a lot! Standing, kneeling, bowing, standing, kneeling, bowing, over and over again (it was like a Catholic mass x 100). Each time, sit, envelope, kneel, then on to the next one. This was a little surprising to me but I was glad that this was explained to me by Ocean. I could see the kneeling but understanding the reason behind it made it more interesting to me.

The next thing comes the celebration, which means the drinking (and I mean drinking). Now this is where perhaps it is more like a Western wedding. Where people sit at the tables is very important here, to be facing a certain direction is considered to be very bad so everything had to be thought out as to who sat at what table and which direction they faced. While they ate, the groom came around and served drinks to everyone. He had a bottle and a small cup (probably about 6-8 ounces could be held in the cup). He would serve the drink to a guest; they would down it (chug, chug, chug). He would refill the glass, they would down it (chug, chug, chug), he would refill it again although they would protest a little, they would down it. Now from this point, he could refill it again with some serious protesting from the guest who would down the drink again. After their long protest, he would serve them no more and move on to the next person. Sometimes it was wine, sometimes it was maltai (Chinese moonshine) but the maltai was served in a double shot glass. It was always at least 3 refills and sometimes it was much more than that. Usually the women had the wine and the men had the maltai, although I saw some men who had both. The Chinese aren’t really known for their ability to handle liquor but they seemed to do okay. What was most interesting here was that in some of the video we could see a grandfather clock in the background. The first drinks started to flow around 11:00am (that’s right, 11 in the morning). The next time we saw the clock with the drinks being served was 2:00, then 4:00, it was one large drinking party (a frat party that started in the early afternoon). The bride would also serve drinks but also she had another role. She would provide cigarettes to the men and then light their smoke. Why? I have no idea at all; it was just what it was. Even if the men didn’t smoke (and in China it seems that almost all men smoke for whatever reason), they would accept the cigarette. Cigarettes and booze at the wedding, it’s a pretty different concept.

Who was at the wedding? Family, friends, and of course big brother. Ocean was pointing out people and of note he pointed out the mayor of the town and the local party official. Of course, they had the distinguished seats. It was one of those things where they may not come but you should invite them (just because). He also pointed out that any local government officials, mayors, governors, etc. need to speak the local dialect and Mandarin. This is so they can communicate with the local people and be able to communicate with the government at the provincial and state level. If they cannot speak Mandarin, then they cannot be a government official. This actually makes some sense.

There was music at the wedding. At first it was a brass band that walked alongside the cars when they arrived near the home. It sounded like a funeral dirge (rim-shot) but I’m sure it was something traditional. They played for maybe 1 hour or so as far as I could tell. Then when the drinking and eating started, the “band” played. This was pretty comical. It was a girl on an electric keyboard set and two singers a man and a woman. It sounded so much like karaoke that it was funny. I thought at first that it what it was but then I saw the girl actually playing the keyboards (and she had the most bored, disinterested look I’ve ever seen from a “musician”, perhaps she was like the bridesmaid that could not find a man and this would constantly remind her of that). The best part was that the male singer wore a “wife beater” t-shirt, you know the one with no sleeves. Seriously, he wore a sleeveless t-shirt and performed at the wedding. Nothing could sum up the difference between the Western wedding and the Chinese wedding more than that. It really drove home the point that it wasn’t about the “sutff”, it was about the wedding. Is it about having the 500 guests and booking the prestigious location for the reception? Does having that mean that you love each other more than someone that goes to the Justice of the Peace? Will your wedding last longer if you get the $500 wedding cake as opposed to the $200 wedding cake? Again, these are my questions and perhaps I use them to justify my own cheap-ass wedding. I’m willing to admit that I’m a tightwad but I also know that for me, dealing with all of the “stuff” for a wedding just wasn’t my thing. I’m not judging those that have big weddings, everyone has their own road to travel. There is a wedding in my family that is now being planned for next summer (hopefully after reading this my invitation will not mysteriously be lost in the mail). I guess my advice would be to remember why you are getting married in the first place. Where you do it, how you do it is up to you but it should be about you and not about all of the other stuff.

Bowling in China

2010-10-16T15:44:00.004+08:00

The other weekend, we went bowling. We had heard about a bowling alley near Dushu Lake so we looked up some information on the place. After all, we didn’t want to travel 30 minutes to a place that might have closed or if it was like 40 years old or something. My research online indicated that the place was very technically advanced and had 28 lanes for bowling so it sounded like a good place. It was out in the middle of nowhere but we decided to go anyhow (one of the disadvantages to not having a car, sometimes getting to a place is easy….it’s getting back home that is the problem). We took the 20 minute ride to the place and got to see a few new sights since it wasn’t a normal route for us. JiaFu Bowling is located in a “sports complex” which has a gym and other sporting activity courts all contained in one building. We walked in and found the bowling alley rather quickly since the place wasn’t crowded; we just hoped the bowling alley was open so we didn’t make the trip for nothing (you never can tell if the internet has all the correct information). It was open (a good sign) and we walked in and took a quick look around. It appeared to be like a bowling alley but there was something different that we noticed right away. We didn’t hear the sounds of pins being knocked down, there was no smell of popcorn and pizza (and of course that intriguing aroma that is the mixture of shoe spray and feet), it was rather quiet. It was a little darker than I expected and right away the décor seemed a bit odd but it is a bowling alley so it’s not like they should have a leather couch and high backed Queen Anne chairs and stuff (would you have any Grey Poupon?).

Behind the counter are 4 people working and we go over and indicate that we want to bowl. How many games? Um, one and we’ll see how that goes. How many people? Okay, pay now. Ummm, okay. So I pay the girl for 4 games. Then she gives me a receipt and points me to her immediate left. We go over to get shoes for bowling, which required that I show the receipt (even though he just saw me pay…see my post “It Must be the Shoes”). We had to provide sizes (which is always fun since they want the European sizes) and the kid behind the counter would look for us (after he puts on his protective mask and rubber gloves to handle our shoes. Eewww, foreigner foot odor.). BUT, in order for us to get the shoes, we had to give him our shoes. Really!?!? Okay, I guess (I’ll give you my new pair of Aasics for your lovely old two-tone slick-soled shoes…sucker!). So we tried on the shoes and once we had pairs that fit (of course, it took several pairs for Warren to find the right size), he gave me back the receipt and pointed us towards the bowling lanes. There around the corner of the counter is another employee who will get us to our lane and help us get the bowling balls (it wasn’t like it was located in a different building or something, it was 4 meters right in front of us). He looks at the receipt (of course) and shows us to our lane (today’s special is King Pao Chicken and it’s 2-for-1 beers until 7:00 pm). He asks us what ball weight we use and we tell him. He asks all of us, I guess assuming that we all want a different ball (do you understand the concept of sharing). It took a little more time after he gave us the balls for us to walk around on our own and try a few more since our fat, sausage fingers wouldn’t fit into the finger holes of many of these balls.

With a real good look at the bowling alley, I would have to say that it was a little less than “state-of-the-art” (and that’s being kind). It had 12 lanes (what happened to the other 16?), which seemed a little narrower than I remembered. The scorer’s keyboard was in Chinese so the employee had to help us enter our names (which we just entered our first initial to make life easy for him). There were screens over top of the lanes that indicated your score and would tell you what pins you knocked down and such, which was similar to what I am used to with the exception that here the screens were purple (I think that the brightness was put on the absolute lowest setting). They had small, odd shaped 60’s sofas (and I’m talking the “peace and love man” type sofas) that were located in such a way that you could not really even see your lane without leaning over to see. The entire place felt more like a bomb shelter than a bowling alley but it isn’t like this is a major sport for the Chinese (not like table tennis, don’t even get me started on that). The bowling balls were “Made in the USA”, oddly enough. I guess if a bowling ball was built in China eventually it would explode upon impact with the pins. There wasn’t an option for bumpers so there was no chance for the kids to cheat. There were about 4 other people in the place bowling when we arrived. One guy in a lane to our left seemed to be pretty good at it. I don’t know what he scored but he was at least bowling a good game. He was the closest and he was 2 lanes over, other than that, nobody (did I already say that).

So, we bowl. No warm up, no courtesy throws to check the lanes, no practice, just start bowling. Not much different about the bowling except to say that we are terrible. Despite our obvious lack of talent for the sport, we still got an audience of the bowling alley employees that would watch us bowl. It was like they were there to assist us but I’m not sure with what. They would smile when we got a strike or did well and seemed to look away when the ball went in the gutter. We tried not to notice but it was hard not to. For snacks at the alley (because Jacob’s favorite thing to do is say “I’m hungry” or “I’m thirsty” as soon as we get anywhere that might have food) there were chips, soda and beer. So the kids got their barbeque pork potato chips (you read that correctly) and a lemon drink. We completed one game and then had to walk back to the counter to pay for another round and then show the receipt again to the “ball boy” so he would let us continue to play.

While we were going through our second round, the place got more “crowded”. A young lady came in and got the lane next to us. We thought it would be interesting to see if they have any “lane etiquette” (that means, when you are in position to bowl, no one around you throws, first one up is the first one to bowl so you don’t break the concentration, if you don’t do this then a pox upon you). She was actually quite funny to watch as she didn’t have a ball but made the motions of bowling, (something like playing the air guitar but she was air bowling). We found it strange but thought that perhaps she was a good bowler and used this technique to mentally prepare for her moves (wax on, wax off). Unfortunately for her, once she actually put a bowling ball in her hand she had zero control over where it went. She was bad (not Michael Jackson bad, crappy bad, even worse than we were and that’s saying something). Another guy came in and he took the far lane. Nothing like seeing someone bowl with a cigarette in his mouth. Nothing gives you the impression of an athlete more than that. Neither of them showed any lane etiquette, no surprises there are witnessing the “road rules” around here. They would bowl quickly like it was speed bowling or something. It was interesting to watch. Usually they had two balls just so they didn’t have to wait for the ball to come back. As soon as the pins were reset, the next ball was on the way.

So on the one hand, it was bowling. On the other hand it wasn’t the same but we’re not in the US are we? Getting home was a little of a challenge. We asked the people in the information center to call us a taxi but I don’t think that happened. They indicated we should wait outside for 10 minutes. Well, we did and nothing. It started to sprinkle a little and we were a little concerned that we would be getting a soaking before a taxi came along. We went out to a larger intersection and were able to flag one down in about 15 minutes. It was tough since we didn’t see many cabs but we got lucky that we were able to find one within a relatively short time. All-in-all, it was another experience to check off the list of things to do while in China.

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A quick change of topic just because I can. Today we went out to the lake to people watch. While we sat and watched a group of 2 boys and 2 girls came by (somewhere between 16 and 20 years old) and sat down near us. While they walked up, they were obviously staring us down. They sat across from us and watched us intently (it was obvious). Soon, one of the young men came over and sat down right next to Warren. His group cheered him as he obviously passed his dare. Soon, the group all moved over to our side and tried to speak a little to us. We were a little lost with some of the phrases they asked but we could make out some of it. Soon, a flower came out and was given to Warren. He tried to turn it down but they insisted he take it. They were howling with delight to watch him squirm (Tammy and I also were enjoying it). So we sat there for another 15 minutes and it was time to go. When we got up, we said our goodbyes and Warren gave the flower to one of the girls. As soon as we started to move away, they got up and headed in another direction. We hear one of the girls shout “I love you” as we move away. Very funny! It’s not often that we get to watch the interaction of the younger kids, especially with our kids. Warren was not quite as amused as Tammy and I but it was pretty darned funny.

Name That Flavor

2010-10-06T11:58:00.003+08:00

Another photo and another guessing game. I'll take name that flavor for $500 Alex. This is a box of Oreo cookies we picked up at Wal-Mart here in Suzhou. We know it's Oreos, note the Kraft mark in the upper left hand corner. These were called "Ice Cream Flavored" on the side panel. Our thinking a) it's an Oreo cookie....how bad can that be? B) It's called ice cream flavor...again Oreos & Ice Cream, a good combination. C) It's a green color with little green leaves out of the ice cream dish. I know I'm leading the witness here but what flavor would you guess this to be?

Unless you somehow picked green tea, you are completely wrong (and if you picked green tea you need to get checked out because you are on the verge of a breakdown). That's right folks, green tea ice cream flavored oreos! For whatever reason, I'm thinking mint Oreos, mmmm, mmm. However, once a bite was taken my joy rapidly faded as the realization hit me that I had been fooled again by my Western ideas of food. (Shame on me) I'll call it my "Western goggles" (similar to beer goggles but not exactly the same). I see the packaging and read it to be what I would expect based on my experiences. Instead, I should look at the packaging with great skepticism and determine what the Chinese would eat (WWCE, What Would the Chinese Eat...and the answer is just about anything). If I had thought about it in that manner, I might have not taken the chance to purchase these but you live and learn (or perhaps I'll never learn). So they have fooled me with gum and now cookies, what else do these fiendish people have out there waiting for me (my kingdom for a mint Oreo)? Only time will tell. Oh, and just so you know, Warren really didn't like the flavor either but he ate them (big surprise).

It must be the Shoes

2010-10-01T09:32:00.001+08:00

With the Shanghai posts made recently, it may have been speculated that we threw our kids under the bus so now we will briefly talk about the kids (after all, we do have to live with them). We don’t like to pimp out our kids and be the “rub your face in it” parents so I’ll keep this short.

Warren is now in High School so he’s got a ton more homework and responsibility to keep him well grounded (or he will be grounded….how ‘bout that play on words. Man, I kill myself.). Last year near year end, he started to play water polo. This year, he has joined the swim team at school. If he can achieve some certain criteria, he’ll be asked to travel with the team to compete in swim meets both inside and outside of China. We’ll have to wait and see how that goes, he is still learning how to make the proper dives, turns, etc. He also continues to play the trombone and has earned a spot on the orchestra. By earning this spot, in November he will travel to Japan to play. I’m sure you are wondering where he got his musical talent, well I don’t mean to brag (or live in the past) but I was in All-County Band during my Middle School years and was in the Marching Band in 9th grade so I think you can see where I’m going with this. That’s right, I take all the credit for his musical skills (as Tammy always says “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”, although usually when she says this she is talking about Jacob and his personality traits (and I don’t mean the good ones).

This year Jacob has moved into the Middle School and so has obtained his laptop computer that he needs for school (it’s a school requirement so don’t think that we said “Hey, if you make it to Middle School you’ll get a computer. That’s not really how we work, High School will get you a new car and College will get you a lifetime supply of loans to repay and no job to make money to repay those loans. Whoops! Off-track.) He decided to try out for the school soccer team and made the team. Now, since he has made the team, we had to purchase him cleats so he could show off his “skills”. [Have I said enough about the kids yet? Well, that’s all you are going to get, this was my lead-in to the point of the post]

So, in China, buying things is slightly different than at home. This was a perfect example of how different things are. We stop at a shoe store that is located at Li Gong Di. Typically these stores are very expensive and we never see anyone shopping there but since we had dinner nearby, we decided to take a look while we were there. So, there are the 4 of us but inside the store (which was about the size of a shoe store in a mall) there were 6 people working. No one else was shopping, just us (and I mean no one, probably hadn’t seen a customer in weeks or at least that is the feeling I get each time we walk by these shops). So the one girl braves the foreigners to come over and help. Jacob looks at the shoes and finds a pair he likes and surprisingly, the price was right (much to my surprise). So, he tries them on with some help from the young lady who was willing to help although we had a little difficulty in communicating. They seemed a little surprised that Tammy and I were checking the shoes to determine where his toes were (you know, push down and find the toe). Perhaps they weren’t accustomed to this type of size check & confirmation or maybe they thought we were doing their job, who really knows. So, once we get the correct size we are ready to pay. We indicate the shoes are okay and she takes us over to the counter. The counter is shaped kind of like an “L”. On the one side, there is our salesperson that begins to ring up the sale. She indicates the price and hands us an invoice then points us to the other woman behind the other side angle of the counter (no shoes, she keeps those). Now, these two workers were within 2 feet of each other but both had different job functions. The second woman looks at the receipt, indicates the price and then takes our money and gives us a stamp on the invoice. We then “walk” the distance to the initial salesperson and hand her the receipt (now that it has two stamps it changes from an invoice to a receipt). Once she has the receipt, she bags the shoes and hands them over to us so we can take them home.

This seems to be a bit tedious and a bit more complex than really necessary. I mean, it’s not like they both didn’t seem the same process (heck, they both watched it all happen). However, this is how many things are sold here in China. In many cases, you take items to a counter where they are held for you. The clerk gives you an invoice (with one stamp), which you carry to the cashier. The cashier takes your money and places a second stamp on the invoice. You take the invoice back to the original clerk and pickup your item. This is how all invoices are done in China, if it only has one stamp, it’s not valid. You have to have two stamps on everything. Unnecessary…yes. Stupid…you decide. This is actually done to prevent the clerk from providing a discount to the customer and pocketing the difference. The clerk could ring you up for a pair of much cheaper shoes but charge you for the more expensive pair and pocket the difference. Also, the clerk could sell you the expensive shoes for a much cheaper price (with a little bonus for themselves from the appreciative customer). I still watch and wonder what exactly is behind this. Are the Chinese basically dishonest people that will steal at every opportunity? Are the employers so paranoid that they hire twice as many people as they need (one to do the work and another to watch them do it and yet another to be sure the second one is doing their job, and so on it goes)? Could it be that with the need to have jobs for people that it’s better to hire more than you need (since you are subsidized by the gov’t anyhow…can you say stimulus? I know you can.) with the theory that working people are satisfied people. I’ll take #3 for $500 Alex (oooh, it’s the Daily Double). Now, you can go many places and purchase items without this process but if you go to some of these more “Western” type shops this is what you should expect. No bargaining, no easy grab it and go, a little more hassle and a lot more bureaucracy.

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And just for fun, a few numbers for you.
· While in Shanghai on the Metro traveling around, there was a screen indicating how many people had gone to the World Expo on that day. How about over 300,000 people? Considering the Expo opens at 9:00am, and it was around 4:00pm when we saw the number, we would say it was probably a little crowded. Really, over 300,000 people. How many people visit Disney on a single day?
· The Shanghai Metro system achieved a new milestone for riders yesterday, 7 million people…in one day (7 million!). And due to the fact that it is Chinese National Day on Oct. 1st, they will be shutting down certain stops to prevent overcrowding. Ha! To prevent overcrowding, 7 million people in one day, that’s the very definition of overcrowding. I don’t know what the subway line in New York does on any given day but 7,000,000 is a lot of people.
· Some of the people at work are headed home for the October holiday (Oct. 1 – Oct. 5). Most travel by train to save money. Let me give you some times for the train. Vicky went to visit her sister, 25 hours. Laverne went to see her mother, 18 hours. Jerry is going to see his family, 21 hours. Not only is he traveling 21 hours, he was only able to get standing room only tickets….21 hours where you can’t be in a seat so you sit in the aisle or near the doors. 21 hours!!!! We complain about the 16 hours to get home (we’re in a seat, get 2 meals and can watch movies or sleep). That’s a cakewalk. If you are interested to know the price, 275 RMB for the 21 hour, standing room only ticket. By plane, over 1,700 RMB. You wonder why they take the train?

Football versus Football (versus Football)

2010-09-26T19:42:00.004+08:00

We get TV channels from Australia and so we have been watching Rugby on television for the past couple of months. We’ve learned many things from watching that perhaps you might not know. First, there are three different leagues (at least) that play variations of Rugby.

The Australian Football League plays a brand of football that combines a little soccer, with football and (as odd as it sounds) ultimate Frisbee. We don’t understand many of the nuances of the game but the ball can be moved from end-to-end through hand passing or by kicking and catching the ball. Goals are scored by kicking the ball between the middle sticks, the center sticks are worth 6 points, the end sticks are worth a point. There is some tackling involved but it’s not an extremely rough game (I can say that because I don’t play it, let’s just say it’s not as violent, the collisions are less extreme). I think we may have seen this type of football every once in a while at home. This usually features a lot of scoring and the ball can go from end to end very quickly through a series of kicks and accurate hand passing. Our Kiwi friends (just to be clear, New Zealanders are called Kiwis, don’t make the mistake of calling them Australian, they don’t like that.) have indicated that the AFL is a “less than manly sport”. Although it seems to put more butts in the seats and has a large fan base, it isn’t for the “Blokes” it’s for the “Sheila’s”. I guess you could call me a Sheila because this looks like a game I could’ve played in my youth (and I would’ve screamed like a girl when I got tackled).

Then there is the National Rugby League. This is the man’s game. Based on what I have seen, I think it’s mandatory that you have at least 35% of your body covered with tattoos (not that it makes them bad people) in order to play in this league. All the scrums, the bone-crushing tackling and “five meters and a cloud of dust” type game. They get so many touches to move the ball as far as they can through either running on their own or pitching the ball back to their teammates. The players are built like tanks and just try to destroy each other. This one is okay to watch but there are times where you just wonder how they can take the abuse. Here you can see the bones break and watch the guy stagger off the field (with the birds flying around his head, coo-koo, coo-koo) and see the blood that you’ve been missing (John Madden would have a heart attack from trying to keep up with the bam, boom, whap). This is the game our Kiwi friends like, but it’s doesn’t have the draw of the AFL. Honestly, I enjoy watching either game although I don’t know that I understand the rules. For the NRL, they score a “try” (what we would call a touchdown) and it’s worth 4 points but in order to score the ball has to touch the ground inside of the try line. They even use instant replay to determine if it is a “try” or “no try”. After a try, they have to attempt a “field goal” worth 2 points. There is usually not a lot of scoring in this game which I think that is what takes away from some of the fervor (like soccer in the US, a lot of movement but usually not a high scoring game). However, in either league, the fans are just as rabid as any college/pro Football fan from the US. You’ll see them painted up, dressed in outlandish costumes and swearing at the players like any “good” fan would be in the US.

The third league is the Tri-Nations Rugby. This is a blocked channel (pay per view) so we’re not sure exactly what goes on with that league but I suspect that it is a lot like the NRL. This is the league that our Kiwi friends watch. In an effort to understand the sport, we (Tammy and I) have asked to be able to watch rugby with our friends to help explain the rules (while we drink beer and watch the screens at The Blue Marlin). Keep in mind that these are true fans so probably after about 10 minutes of questions they will hate us since we are interrupting the game. So, we’ll learn something and have to find new friends.

So today (Sunday), the AFL held their Grand Finale for the Premiership of the League. We would call this the Super Bowl. The match pitted Collingwood (a team we have watched all the time since they always seem to be the team on the telly) versus Saint Kilde. It was a back-n-forth match with Collingwood taking an early lead but Saint Kilde pulled close and tied the match very late in the game. It came down to the final seconds with a tied score and it seemed neither team had the upper hand. So as the final seconds ticked off the clock, there was no other score and the game ended in a draw. The players all dropped to the ground exhausted and we just watched wondering “what do they do now”? The announcers indicated the game was a draw but none of the players looked like they were happy at all. In the NFL, we would go to overtime to decide the contest. Well, this isn’t the NFL and we found out that the game would remain as draw and the teams would play again next weekend to decide the winner. WHAT!?!?!?!?!? Next week?? 100,016 people in attendance and they didn’t get to see the winner. Can you imagine? You pay around $150 USD for the cheap seats (to see the Super Bowl) and you don’t get to see the winner. Instead, you have to try and get tickets for next week’s game and hope to get lucky. I should mention that this game is about the same length of time as an NFL game so the players are worn out and expecting the season to end today but now they have to turn around and get ready for next week. We watched the Australian News channel after the game and found out there is even more to this story. They are actually postponing the start of the Cricket League season, the Spring Horse Racing season will also be pushed back and many other events (soccer matches, etc.) have been moved out to prevent clashing with the Grand Final. It would be like the Super Bowl being played on the same day that the NBA and MLB start their respective seasons. No one wants to have to compete for the audience so they are holding off a bit. I know you are asking yourself, “What happens if the replay match ends in a draw?” (Thanks for asking) They add 5 minutes of extra time to decide the contest (and what if that doesn’t decide the match? How do I know, I just started watching this!). Why don’t they have the same rule for the Grand Final original match? I don’t know but from what we heard and read, it doesn’t seem that they will change that very soon (like MLB taking years and years to accept video replay, in sports things take time to change).

With things not looking so good for my Cowboys thus far into the season, I may have to become a Rugby fan and forget about the NFL. Unfortunately, the Rugby season is just about over so I’ll be left without anything to watch. The silver lining to this is that I don’t have to watch the Cowboys stink it up, I can just get up on a Monday morning and find out if they won or lost (hopefully they win). It’s kind of a rehabilitation program for football addicts (but without the 12 steps, only 1 step; move to China). So whether it’s football (NFL), football (AFL) or football (NRL), I’m going to watching if and when I can.