When E.F. Hutton speaks......

It is July in Suzhou and that means one thing, it is time for the annual Lotus Blossom Festival at Humble Administrators Garden. I told Scott earlier this week that I would like to go this weekend, so we all got up this morning at the crack of dawn to "beat the heat" and see the garden. We were pleasantly surprised when we stepped outside at 730 to find that it really wasn't that bad. We took a taxi (of course) to the garden and proceeded to go to the ticketing counter. Along the way we go bombarded with "self employed foreigner hunters" trying to "sell" us canal rides. We must have been approached 4 times before we got to the counter and we were only 50 meters from the counter. "No thank you", "no thank you" in Chinese is what Scott kept saying, I was pleading ignorance ~ only 4 weeks in the language is still at "ni hao"... We purchased our tickets and proceeded inside the gate to view the vast expanse of the garden. This garden is on the World Culture Heritage site for one of the must see places to visit, and I concur. We took a ton of photos (Scott took 220 and I took almost 200). This afternoon we (Scott) was working on uploading them to his Google Picasa site, BUT it appeared to have been "not working" this afternoon (aka blocked). So we will try tomorrow to see if we can get them uploaded. Scott kept saying that when he visited the garden in February it was very winter like (brown). Today, the garden was lush and green and full of people. There were tour groups from all over, but the one that stood out were the two groups of Western tourists (because they looked like us). The garden was very beautiful, if I tried to describe it here I could not even come close to doing it justice ~ you will have to wait for the photos...

We got back to the apartment before noon (we left at 7:45am to beat the heat ~ did I say that already) and we had lunch and vegged all afternoon. Scott and I ventured to Carrefour to find a plastic spatula (for L.L. Bean pancakes in the morning, courtesy of our visit to Maine this summer) with blueberry jam and Maine maple syrup ~ yum!!). We hung out in the apartment all afternoon until Jim and Tammy called us with the meet up time for dinner. We decided to meet downstairs in the lobby at 645pm to get taxis to the restaurant.

When we told the boys where we were going they were kind of skeptical, but Scott reassured them that it would be really, really good and that they will totally enjoy it. We took the taxi to the restaurant, and as soon as we stepped out of the cab, the look on Jacob's face was "hell no, I'm not going in there...." We walked up the steps, on the left of the stairs the cooks were outside cooking the bread for something ~ Tammy says "hey boys, do you want to go watch", "nope, we're good" they both said. So up the steps we go into the restaurant, and thank God Jim knows Chinese. The hostess starts saying something to me (LOL) and I just look back at them and laugh. As we get further inside, the place goes quiet (when E.F. Hutton speaks...) because we were the only white non Chinese family(s) in the joint. He says (in Chinese) "upstairs" so we go upstairs, not until more "conversation" between the hostess and me (again LOL). Again, as we get upstairs, heads turn and the place goes quiet, "look at those white devils" is what we thought they were saying. The hostess goes up to a table who was already seated and tells them to move, I think this was to get us in the center of the floor for all to see.

The waitress gives us a menu and the fun begins. I'll have that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that. And how about some of that... Jim and Scott did the picking of food and the ordering, I was pretty sure that they were not going to order any fragrant beef (or at least I hoped that they did not ~ we will see in the morning!). A few minutes pass when the food begins to arrive. First it was the mutton skewers (all 18 of them), yes mutton (mature sheep), then comes the green beans with peppers and garlic, mutton burritos (not burritos but looked like them), the mutton pizza, dumplings, potatoes with sugar glaze, apples with sugar glaze, and then the watermelon. Needless to say a ton of food! There were 7 of us total eating the feast of mutton and we were all full! Did I mention that there were 9 'big' beers ordered also... When we were all nodding off from so much food, the waitress brings over the bill. I was expecting 500 rmb for all this food. I asked Scott how much, he says 248 ~ I thought he was telling me that was our portion, which really is not bad for all that food. Well he tells me that is for ALL the food and beer and 4 cans of sprites that the boys drank. Are you kidding me, 248 for all of that (that is 36$US ~ crazy!!!). And.... Sherpa's delivers from the restaurant, yea!!!

We had a good day, it's almost 10pm and the kids are still up watching a movie, shouldn't they be in bed???? Be looking for the new photos "soon", I will send a note out when they are finally uploaded.

What it takes to gain "legal" status

Today, as I was driven to the local government office/police station, I began thinking of what it takes to gain "legal" status to live in China. I 'think' this is the list:

Before you step foot in China:
1. get passport
2. get shots (Hep A/B, typhoid, booster shots where applicable)
3. make flight reservation
4. apply for and get visa
5. pay for overage in luggage (you know you will be over.....)

Arrival in China:
1. health check
2. apply for residence permit
3. prove you are who you are (only if married female)
4. local government office for "check in"
5. receive Z Visa which means you are a legal resident (for one year).

I could make it easy and just list "pay money" at all of the steps and you would get the idea. It is not cheapa cheapa to obtain legal resident status here. But then it is probably the same in any country that you try to become a resident. It is quite a long process, the boys and I have been here for almost 4 weeks now and I believe that we are now through with this "process". We should get our passports and Z visa's back next Friday. It will be good to have them back with all the i's dotted and t's crosses. It will be then that the next "process" will begin: getting them registered for school.

But I want to cook, really......

Scott cooked dinner tonight for the boys and me. It wasn't the typical spaghetti with red sauce that I have been "cooking" for him. He went all out and cooked chicken tacos, black beans, refried beans, and spanish rice (90 second Uncle Bens). They went to Summit this afternoon and bought chicken and all the fixins. The cost for his trip to Summit was 437RMB's, that equals about 62$US. Granted he didn't just buy dinner items, he also bought some pop tarts, a couple of cans of Chef Boyarde, eggs, and vegetable oil. While we were eating dinner, I asked the question about how much the chicken cost and that leads us to Sherpa's. Sherpa's is a delivery service that delivers in the SIP area from 197 restaurants, one of which is Casa Zoe's. We have ordered from CZ two times and each time we order from the Tex-Mex menu. The average bill thru Sherpa's for CZ is not quite 200RMB. So, you do the math... it is cheaper to eat out (dine in with delivery from Sherpa's) than to cook. Now if we were to go to CZ, the bill would be about 260RMB because of drinks, therefor restaurants make a large profit off beer and soda sales. It's really crazy when you think of it, but that is why hardly no one cooks at home (and no one has a kitchen that us Westerners consider a kitchen). If you are curious, here is the link to our favorite "restaurant": http://www.sherpa.com.cn/.

Also today, I had the opportunity to go to "furniture city". Furniture city is just that, a 'city' with nothing but furniture. Furniture for what seems like for miles and miles. There is a building (or 2, or 3) for high end furniture, a few for bedroom furniture, some for living room, some for tables, some for carpet, and so on. The prices for the high end furniture was very comparable to stores in the US, if not a tad cheaper. We saw a grade A leather sofa set that was filled with down, that was 22,000RMB, very competitively priced with mid-range furniture but was definitely high end quality. There was a mattress 'shop' that had "ergonomically" styled mattress that would put temper-pedic to shame (and I love my temper-pedic). The whole shopping process was very interesting. I will have to take Scott the next time because he has not gone to furniture city (I think he is afraid!). Although, I think if he knew what was in the city he would not have let me go alone (LOL).

On another note, one of the 'joys' of being here in China is that the government has the ability to block any and all websites that they feel need to be unaccessible. Right now with the unrest in western China in the Xinjiang region (which is in far western China and we are on the eastern seaboard near Shanghai), the government has 'blocked' YouTube (still since spring), this blog site, twitter, facebook, Flickr, and wikepedia. I believe this is in part to the part that Twitter "allegedly" played in the Iranian elections. With the social networking sites so readily available and accessible they could be seen as a way to join forces and get commoners on the same page. Now I can't say that I'm complaining, but, well........ We did choose to live here and we will take the good with the bad.

My nemesis

On Sunday the 5th, it was time to kick it up a notch. I had taken the family to several grocery stores, both of the Western and local variety but I had held off the trip to the store that shall remain nameless (just go with it, trying to build a mood here). So Sunday, it was time (dun, dun, daaahhh!). Yes, it could not be avoided; it was time to return to Auchan! As much as I do not look forward to setting foot into the store, I needed to show Tammy and the boys what they were missing (heartburn, anxiety attack, bruises, you know, all the good stuff). So we hopped into the taxi and off we went.

Upon arrival, as usual it was chaos in the streets. Get out of the taxi and avoid scooters, rickshaws, other taxis, buses and of course other pedestrians just to get to the relative safety of the entrance. I told them, “prepare for battle” and in we went. They had changed the layout a little from my last visit (really all they did was reverse the escalators so the escalator which used to go up, now went down). Not a big deal but I went the wrong way once we entered the building and had to hear from the “peanut gallery” that I can’t even read the signs that are in English. Oh sure, I could’ve killed them on the spot (I plead insanity your honor….have you ever been to Auchan? Case dismissed!) but I decided to torture them with Auchan first. So up the escalator we went into the crowded masses. The escalator now sends you up on the far end of the store, the dreaded grocery side which means that you have to walk the full length of the place to obtain the relative tranquility of the department store side (it’s like having lunch with a bunch of sugared up 2nd graders versus having lunch with a group of middle schoolers…pick your poison, either way it’s a sure descent into madness!). So off we go from checkout lane 110 down to 1 so we can maneuver into the department store section. Jacob’s pushing the shopping cart around the people as best he can and we’re trying to stay close. Some of the looks we got were amusing as people stared (white family 12 o’clock) but you get used to it. Once we broke free of the crowd (yeah right…but when you move away from the hundreds of people around you to the tens of people around you it feels like a major change), we walked through the electronics area.

We make it to the electronics section and start the slow movement through the store, looking down the aisles at all of the stuff contained in the section. We looked at printers trying to decide which printer we may want to select. It was more difficult given that we had to get a printer that worked on both a Mac and a PC (just so you know in case you couldn’t figure it out, Tammy’s a Mac…I’m a PC). We couldn’t make a decision for a variety of reasons (How old is this model? Can we find printer cartridges? Do we need color?) so we looked and left without purchasing. Next it was the toaster oven aisle, approx. 30 different models to look at and try to make a decision. What’s the features (do I look like I read Chinese?)? Ah yes, the one thing that makes purchasing a little more daunting, the Chinese characters. When you buy local, you get local. We could probably find a Western model at one of the more pricey shopping malls but (surprise-surprise) I’m not going to spend a ton of cash for a toaster oven (or anything else that I may be leaving behind in 2 years…think about it, different plugs and different voltage means it ain’t going back to the States with me so I’m renting it). So we walk away empty handed again but we at least know the prices range from about 300 RMB up to over 3,000 for the “convection oven” model. Then it’s the rice cookers, only about 100 different models to choose from. Ones that double as a steamer, some that double as a pressure cooker and so on (say do you have one that just cooks, uh, RICE). All we want is a simple machine, put in water, add rice, close the lid and press the button. Not so fast, there’s a bunch of buttons here (once again in Chinese if you can imagine that) and not one says Start. For all I know one button is the emergency panic button that sends the rice out like fireworks (or maybe that button turns the rice into Rice Crispies…now that’s a neat trick). Simple, perhaps for the locals but for us not so simple. We decided to check with other Expats to determine what they bought and how it works. Some of the models had nice designs, some were plain and some had some kind of kitten on it (really a freakin’ kitten. There’s a kitty fetish here….it’s everywhere!). So we’re foiled again but the nefarious Auchan curse!!! (do you get the feeling that I don’t like this place?)

So we proceed to look for items that we can purchase; a large pot for spaghetti, a spaghetti spoon, a mosquito light and a few other items. Jacob (being like me) after about 20 minutes has had enough and keeps asking when we are checking out. One more thing to look for. (How much longer?) I wasn’t discouraging him since I wanted out too (like a dog trying to escape the car that’s on the way to the vet for the Bob Barker treatment). He held in there because he had little choice and I don’t think he could’ve found his way out without a GPS (another one of his sayings). So once we loaded up, it’s time to find a checkout lane that has less than 10 people in line. Luckily, on the department store side the lines are usually smaller so we were able to jump in and check out rather quickly. The thing to remember here is that you always bring you own bags to bring your groceries home otherwise you pay per bag. Many Westerners travel with backpacks and bags to carry everything home. Also, be sure what you buy, you can carry. If you buy too much and you can’t carry it all then you have a problem. I usually shop with the small, plastic hand carts just to be sure. When it is full, I’m done.

So we get done and head outside for a cab. It’s then the battle for the right spot. The Chinese play a very coy game of “we’ve got the cab” that is mildly annoying. If you are standing on the curb waiting to flag down a cab (let’s say the cab is coming from your left), they will walk 30 paces past you to the left to flag down the cab before it can get to you. Then they hop in and give you the smug grin as they drive on by. We stand our ground since some seem to wait in line behind us but in reality, as soon as you turn and look towards traffic, there they are walking away from you to get the cab first. After about 10 minutes, it’s more than mildly annoying (patience grasshopper) but we are able to get a cab and head back to the Chateau. Me to decompress and be thankful that I made it out alive (oh, the humanity). Tammy to consider when she’ll make the next trip to Auchan (without me).

I am who I thinks I am (I think?)

This morning I had to go to Shanghai to the U.S. Consulate to prove that I am who my birth certificate and my marriage license says I am. As I was driving with Jin (the company driver) this morning, I was reminded how the social classes here are so divided. Along the highway you see from the road the older people working in the fields. Then you see a BMW or Land Rover passing you by. The poverty here humbles me. We are by no means rich but sometimes it is very hard to remember. I see the kids and wonder what they think when they see this. I hope that this adventure will not spoil them, I suppose it is our responsiblity to keep them grounded. Back to the story..... The homes along the road are mere shacks (understatement), then as you get closer to Shanghai they become skyscrapers. It's pretty amazing that the social class is either very rich or extremely poor. We hear so often of the two classes in America, if one could only see how it is here, you would not complain once of how tough life is.

The reason I am going here today is to sign an affidavit saying I am who my birth certificate and mariage license says I am, I know weird. Most expat wives need to do this since most women change their names upon marriage. So I'm being driven to the US Consolate. Lucky me. The process, I'm told, should only take about 15 to 20 minutes. I arrive at the building where the Consulate is, and Jin drops me off at the elevators and tells me to go to the 8th floor. Well, he didn't really tell me, I guessed at what he was saying since he does not speak English. I go up to the 8th floor and find the USC office and go in but not before proving I am a legal resident of the US by showing my passport to the front officer. He lets me in and proceeds to ask if I have a phone or camera, yes and yes. He takes both and locks them up and gives me the key, "do not lose this key" ~ he has my IPhone and my camera, I will not lose this key! I go into the next room and take a number to be called to a window. The nice lady (who speaks great English) calls my number and I proceed to go to her and tell her my business. Along with me having to prove who I am, I was also asked to add pages to Erik and Trish's passport. I am able to do all of this within 15 minutes of arriving and head back downstairs to meet up with Jin who is still parked in the same spot, thank goodness. As we were driving back to get on the highway we pass store fronts with Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Armani, Espirit, and many more and I again realize how the social classes are so extreme. We get back on the highway and go through a huge backlog of traffic (I will never ever complain of US traffic again!). It took us about 1 3/4 hours to get back to Suzhou.

I was very proud of my boys as they did not take this short trip with me. They stayed at the apartment for the morning even though Aunt Cissy (Cecelia) was just upstairs. They met up with her about 11 and played Phase 10 until I got back to the building. I am proud of them, because this is their first real time that they have both been "unsupervised" without Scott or I. We have been "those" kinds of parents, however we know that they are old enough to be left for a short time ~ have to cut that umbilical cord sometime, right?

July 4th in China

Since we aren’t in the US, celebrating the 4th of July seemed to be out of the question. Well….not so fast my friends. Put together a group of Americans in a country where fireworks are easy to obtain and you’ve got a recipe for a loud, light show. Oddly enough, the Drunken Chef (an English Pub…..think of the irony of that) has an all day BBQ to celebrate the 4th. Just as a side note, the past several years “back in the States” (Jacob’s new expression) we’ve celebrated the 4th with the Pitts (and neighbors), so there’s a high bar to clear when you are talking 4th of July cookout. For those that know him, Keith is a Grill Master and for many years was the “head chef” at the soccer fields cooking burgers and dogs for all of the CYS soccer fans (the spatula was handed off and taken by neighbor Dan). Keith and Evva put on a terrific spread and then mysteriously there are fireworks in the neighborhood just after dark (darn pyromaniacs, we all know that fireworks are illegal in Georgia so we were always tempted to turn those criminals in as was our civic duty). So this was our benchmark for a 4th celebration.

I showed up at the Chef around 4:15 with the boys to prepare for the celebration. They’ve got a grill set up outside with a rotisserie spit containing turkey and chicken. Pork has been cooked and is set aside in a BBQ sauce along with onions and other “fixins”. Sausages, dogs and believe it or not something like cracklins is on the grill being cooked. But we’re on a mission, we’re meeting early to go and collect fireworks. If you’re unfamiliar with China’s history on fireworks, you should Google it sometime because I don’t have the time to write it all down today. Suffice it to say that fireworks are always available here and you’ll hear them going off a lot (no real reason needed, sometimes it’s just because you can). We know where there is a store that sells fireworks so we plan and walk off to see what we can find. We arrive at the store and begin to look over what’s available. Mike and Eric led the charge with Mike translating what the shop owner was saying. Warren and Jacob kind of sat back and watched as the amount of fireworks built up. We decided to put in 200 RMB each and ended up with 1,000 RMB to purchase fireworks. How many shots in that box? How high does it go? How many colors? What’s the price? Is it loud? What about that box, what’s in there? How many should we get? We worked our way through the list….firecracker string 2,000 firecrackers [check]…..loud mortars [check], ground fountain fireworks [check]….100 shot mortars [check]….grand finale box [check]. As we went down the list (which wasn’t really a list, it was more of a review down the shelves of the store. Just to clarify, it was more like a convenience store rather than a fireworks store that can be found just across the GA border in AL or SC.), we began to realize that we had a lot of fireworks and somehow we had to transport them to the Chef from our current location. We also were drawing a crowd in the store as more Chinese came by to watch and see what the white devils were purchasing. Heck, I was interested in what we were purchasing, I’m sure they were just as curious to know why we were buying so many fireworks. Finally, we had spent our allotment of 1,000 RMB and we had all of the bases covered so it was time to get our treasure to the Chef.

It was decided to find a rickshaw and have the fireworks transported via that vehicle as opposed to carrying it back. It took a couple of minutes but we were able to flag down a driver to assist us in getting the show back to the Chef. Once we had the items loaded, someone had to ride along to be sure the driver took everything back to the right spot (as opposed to selling them on the next street corner, somehow I think we could’ve easily chased him down if we thought he was making a break for it). Due to my relatively narrow frame (shut up) I was given the honors. I left the kids with Uncle Eric and squeezed in the back of the rickshaw to ride along with the explosives (smoke ‘em if you got ‘em). This was my first experience with the rickshaw and I’m not sure I’ll take another ride. I think I am too tall since my view was obstructed by the roof but I could see out the sides enough to see that they drive these “vehicles” like any other taxis (Outta my way ya horses a__). I phoned ahead to let Tammy & others at the Chef know that I was on my way and I would need assistance getting the items from the rickshaw into the building. I indicated I had traded Warren for the fireworks and Jacob for the rickshaw ride (now that was some good bargaining). Once at the Chef, we unloaded the items and placed them in a cool, dark place until it was time.

Now to the food, I once again state that there was a high hurdle to clear based on our recent 4ths. The food was okay but it didn’t meet the standards we expected and we missed out on the hot dogs (they ran out and had these things that were like hot dogs but were white…..if a hot dog is pink from “meat by products”, what makes them turn white…or more specifically what kind of “meat” is inside the casings?) and there weren’t any burgers if you didn’t order from the menu. I guess for a Brit the BBQ was okay but it wasn’t what Tammy and I had expected; far too much money for what was available. The kids ate so that’s all that really mattered (although a nice Nathan’s hot dog really would have hit the spot {sigh}).

On to the fireworks, right after dark we went out to the backside of the Chef. The back entrance opened into the courtyard of an apartment complex……yes, six story apartments on all 4 sides; the ideal spot for fireworks. Keep in mind that over the past 4 months in China I’ve been woken up by fireworks on multiple occasions (not at 9:00 am but 6:00 am and well past 10:00 pm) so it’s payback time (well, do you feel lucky….punk). Eric is the Master of Ceremonies and does the honors of lighting the ‘works off. We had some really good and loud stuff. There were smaller mortars that shot up with a loud bang and then when they got up to about 10 meters, blew up with a really loud bang. Then we had the 80 and 100 shot boxes of mortars with the loud bang. We had two other large boxes, one with 50 shots and another with 36 shots. The 36 shot box was the grand finale since it was the largest (and therefore the best….size does matter when it comes to fireworks). It put up a really good display and we had a pretty good size crowd come out and watch what the foreigners were doing. Every bang echoed off the buildings and put out enough noise to be heard for several blocks, I’m sure some were visible as well since I know the big boxes shot up higher than the buildings around us. It was a good show for American Independence Day considering we were in China (again consider the irony). Next year we’ll head back to the Chef with more reasonable expectations from the food but with higher expectations for the show. We hope everyone had a great 4th. Some coming attractions; read about the Dudley family’s first visit to Auchan and perhaps a post about my visit to Shanghai 3 weeks ago. Don't forget to check out the links for photos (to be uploaded real soon) and videos of the festivities.