93 Percent

They say (don’t ask me who they are but they are really important and smart people) that 93% of all communication is non-verbal. So….why does anyone try to learn a second (or third, etc.) language?

My answer is quiet simple actually, because at 93% you still need more in order to get things done. I’ve used my mime routine time after time here and it works okay but you can’t get the full story. I’ll use an example (if you knew this was coming, raise your hands). We were given a large e-bike from a Canadian family that has returned to Canada. We already have a smaller scooter (e-bike, whatever) that we got from a family moving to Shanghai but the chance to get the larger e-bike would provide us with a larger traveling distance away from the apartment that we could ride and experience more of Suzhou like the locals. The only problem with the e-bike is that the back tire has a leak and goes flat in no time(I say only problem, it’s a big one). So, I’ve got to get it fixed. I use my connections at work and ask people with e-bikes about how I can go about fixing this. They indicate that I have to find a shop or one of the guys that ride around town that can fix the bikes. I call these guys the AAA of China. They ride around on their scooters, up and down the streets with tires and stuff hanging off of their e-bikes so they stand out a little and you know who they are and what they do. It’s like a tow truck, you have no doubt about it’s purpose…same with the AAA guys. You’ll see them on the side of the road fixing an e-bike, so in a strange way they are like a mobile repair shop. Anyhow, I ask the guys at work, do you think that they (AAA) would come to the apartment and fix the bike? The wheel is so bad that it goes flat very, very fast and I can’t get far with the bike. I could push the bike but it’s a lot of energy spent hoping to find a guy around where you are headed. They seem to not understand why I need the guy to come to me, just go to find them on the street. I get nowhere with this line of questioning and I just accept that I have to go to them (it’s not like calling AAA after all). For the past two weeks I have looked for the guy near the apartment as I come home on the bus from work. Anytime I would see them in the vicinity of the apartment (within two to three blocks) it was always when I had Chinese class so I couldn’t head in that direction and hope they were still in the same place when I arrived with the scooter.

Sunday morning rolls around and Warren and I decide to try and find one of these guys or go to find a shop and see if they could come to us. We took the quick ride on the small scooter and bicycle around the immediate two blocks with no luck so we headed to an apartment complex that we heard had a bike shop nearby. Just as we turn on to the street, I spot a AAA guy throwing away his trash. We ride up to him and give him the “Ni Hao” routine and I pull out a photo of the bike & tire issue and indicate to him that I live at Horizon. He seems to understand and points with a lot of gusto towards the apartment complex and stuff. When I ask if he can come to the apartment to fix the bike (or what his favorite color is, I think I did the former but my Chinese isn’t very strong) he says a lot that I don’t understand but I get the impression that he won’t be coming with me. I indicate the bike is mine and he nods again but says a lot more that I don’t understand. Warren and I figure he isn’t able to go to another street but there’s no telling. Either way, as we leave I thought he was going to follow us but he goes the corner and stops. Warren thinks he is waiting for us to return so I speed home on the small scooter to get the big scooter. I left Warren in my wake (well, not really since the battery was dying on the scooter but it sure makes it sound like I was really hauling doesn’t it) and headed back to the apartment. I drop off the scooter and pump some air into the e-bike tire and head back out to the point where we left our “mechanic” hoping he was still there. After all, we weren’t but maybe 10 minutes to do the e-bike exchange and head back out.

Because I knew the tire wouldn’t hold air for long, I got on the e-bike and decided to get it rolling as fast as I dared (since I didn’t have a lot of experience on this bike I was more afraid of the speed combined with the balance issues) to ensure I could find the guy again. I told Warren he could try and keep up but I was going to “turn and burn” to get as far as I could before the air in the tire gave out. Thankfully, the AAA guy is right where we left him working on another e-bike, making a tire change on the front tire.

Now I know you may be asking yourself “Why didn’t you just patch the tire?” or “Why didn’t you just take the flat tire off the e-bike and take it with you?” Good questions with good answers. For one, I don’t know what a Chinese tire patch kit looks like or even where it is sold. I suspect that it may not be exactly what I think it should be, plus I have to take the outer tire off. When I was able to put air into the tire, it seems that the e-bike was very shaky which led me to believe that the outer tire may have been warped or something so I felt it would be best to replace both the inner and outer tube. As for the second question, it was the back tire that was flat. The back tire is connected to the drive system and there is no way that I was going to pull this thing apart on my own. I didn’t have a garage or anything to store it so once I pulled the tire off (if I was able), it was over until I could get the new tire. Since the repair would’ve been out in the open, anyone would’ve walked by and stopped to watch me do this and they might have heard some bad language from the foreigner (as anyone at work might hear, you know it’s not like it is common but every once in awhile it slips out). I didn’t want to be a spectacle and I wanted the bike to work so I decided that this also wasn’t an option.

So, we wait for the first repair to be done and then he gets to work on my bike. He takes the outer tire off and pulls out the tube and shows it to me. Keep in mind, the wheel is still attached. He says a lot to me and I look at Warren (after all, kids are supposed to be better at picking up languages than the old folks) and he gives me the “Huh?” look. Great! So I ask him to say it again and he does but I still don’t follow. I indicate that the tire was punctured using my prowess with charades. I point at the tire with my finger and add the “pssssssss” sound (which tells the whole story by golly). Yep, I am a master of languages! He nods and says more to me and I’m stumped. Finally, I stop and think about the conversation that might happen in English and I try a new tactic. I point to the tire on the e-bike and say “Zhe ge” and then point to his e-bike at the new tire and say “Nei ge”, same with the tube. He nods and gets to work. Finally…..he was trying to find out if I wanted the tube patched or if I wanted a new tube. I told him that “this one” “that one” with my superior Chinese language skills but it did the trick. He knew now that I wanted both the inner and outer tube replace with new components. Score one for the skinny white guy!

He had to remove the back tire from the bike and although he did it fast; I never would’ve gotten it right. This thing wasn’t meant for ease of removal and I would’ve had a really tough time getting it replaced. He did it quickly and had everything he needed, me….I would’ve needed much more tools than I have. The funniest thing was that when he pulled the new inner tube out from the box, he stuffed the box into a nearby bush (you know, way down in so no one would know it was there) rather than walk an extra two feet to the trash can. I know, it’s not really funny but it was interesting. He looked around and then just shoved it down into the bush. I don’t understand it but when in China right. Anyhow, when he finished and pumped up the new tire, I asked him how much. He wrote it down (although I would’ve understood if he had said it) and it was 150 RMB. I know this was definitely an inflated price since my colleagues at work told me it would cost about 50 RMB (but perhaps that was just for the inner tube and not a full replacement). I looked at him to see if he would look me in the eye but he didn’t so I suspect he was gouging me but for less than $22 I was going to be able to ride the e-bike. It was okay by me, so he got a few extra RMB out of the deal. I got the e-bike, it’s a win-win situation. Afterwards, he gave me his business card and told me I could call him with any problems. Now think about that. We could hardly communicate in person and now I would be able to call him…..that would be an interesting conversation indeed. Each one would think the other was an idiot or had the wrong number. Funny.

So when they say that 93% of all communication is non-verbal, realize that the remaining 7% is HUGE, especially if you want to be understood. I will continue on my journey to speak the Chinese language despite the fact that it is extremely frustrating and difficult. I try to use what I know at work but I feel really stupid and that’s the biggest hurdle I have. I have to get over the self-conscious desire to be perfect and allow myself to make mistakes when trying to speak the language. Stay tuned as we continue since Tammy has moved on to her second course (this time she is in one-on-one classes) and I continue in the remedial Chinese class. I’m waiting for the light bulb to come on and even if it’s only 10 watts, at least it’s something.