Shanghai Ink

Okay people, today we come clean and will dish the dirt about ourselves. There has been a secret that we have kept to ourselves (okay some people know but work with me) that is to be revealed to everyone (Magic’s Greatest Secrets Finally Revealed). This may change your perception of who we are or it may not have any impact on you whatsoever, it’s up to you. In society we judge others, it’s just human nature and it is something that happens every day whether we like to admit it or not. So today, we open ourselves up to be judged (but be gentle).

It has been a long time in the making but as we are headed down what will be our final months living in China we have discussed what we can have to remind us of our time abroad (besides the persistent hacking cough, the tacky souvenirs and this strange desire to bump into people). For me, this scenario of living in a foreign country was not something I had ever considered in the past. It was a huge change for me; it was a risk and was something that was definitely outside of my comfort zone. Since that decision to accept this opportunity, I have continued to do things that are not what would be considered normal for me. Nothing that would be considered a criminal act (in Alabama) or outside my moral code but just not normal for life in the US. Hence this blog post (get to the point already). So we decided on something that again, is not ordinary for us. I don’t know that I have to expand more on that…as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.

So now you know, Warren and Jacob have tattoos. Just kidding, they don’t get theirs until next month (again, kidding). Tammy and I had discussed getting a tattoo many months ago and she dove right in because she needed to have it before we went to Thailand. Not really needed but if you don’t have it, you can’t show it off so wanted is probably a better term. You don’t want to be out in the sun right after getting a tattoo or else you can lose some of the color. So, we found a place in Shanghai to get the tattoo done, she found a good design and had it done right away (this was in October, plenty of time before the sun exposure in Thailand). Me, I was a little more cautious and held off for many months before finally committing to a design and getting the tattoo done. You want to be sure that we have the right look because it is on you and it’s not coming off with Clorox (unless it’s the Chinese “copy” Clorox). The first design that they sent to me wasn’t really me (and Tammy didn’t like it either). So I was delayed due to getting the right design and then finding the time to go. We’ve held off saying anything because it would be better to reveal it all at once rather than give updates (the shock factor is better this way).

I guess I should give some background to getting a tattoo, if you’ve watched Miami Ink, it’s a little different than what you see on TV (sorry to burst the bubble but reality tv isn’t reality, unless it’s Survivor, now that’s real….not.). The first time I went into the shop to start the work on a design, it was a little intense. Keep in mind that Tammy and the kids went with me to the shop (and the winner for Parents of the Year goes to…..). The shop is tucked away in a nice area of the city and as soon as you walked up the stairs you knew you weren’t in an ordinary shop. The buzzing sound of the tattoo guns going and they had music blaring. I believe the band was Gwar or something like that (an alternative metal band that makes Metallica look like the Carpenters). It was a little intimidating to say the least. The main artist for Shanghai Tattoo is a small (do I have to say that) Chinese woman with multiple piercings (nose, chin, ear shotgun holes things), a green mohawk hairdo and several tattoos herself (duh). She wears baggy camouflage pants and these metal studded boots that look like they came out of some odd sadomasochist designer shop (she actually gets them from Spain and just to clarify that remark I know because she was talking about them, it’s not because I have a pair). When you see her photos on the website http://www.shanghaitattoo.com/ you think that perhaps she may be a little crazy but she is actually a very likeable and friendly person that just happens to like to tattoo people and marches to her own drummer (again, we judge people every day and sometimes we are surprised when we look beyond the obvious). She has done tattoos for many Westerners and that is what makes a difference to me when selecting a tattoo shop. Obviously there is concern about a sanitary environment (for obvious reasons) and since she had done work with foreigners, she understood this need for clean that comes from the Western mind. There are two Chinese that also work at the shop, one apprentice and one other artist. Cheng Yong is the artists that did both my tattoo and Tammy’s tattoo. The “front man” for the shop is Dylan (an Irishman), he helps people prepare their tattoo and works through their ideas on what they want. He worked with their apprentice to draw out where I wanted the design and then talked with me about what I was looking for. It’s tough to describe accurately what you want so you say everything you can think of, show them a design you like and hope for the best. Oh, and I shouldn’t forget to state that they ask for a pretty hefty down payment for the design (they want to ensure that you don’t take their artwork to another studio). In this case, the first design was much more artsy-fartsy than I was expecting. For some, this would be a terrific tattoo but for me…not so much.

Now, again unlike Miami Ink, it was weeks before they sent me the first draft and I had to tell them I didn’t like it so it was another several weeks trying to work out a second design. The second design was much more “me” (what does that mean anyhow?) and it was time to commit to getting it done which turned out to be this past weekend. We spent time in the city before I got turned into a human pincushion (insert the buzzing sound of the tattoo ink gun here). My appointment was at 12:30 and they expected that it would take about 6 hours to get my ink (you notice how I have switched into the tattoo lingo here). 6 hours!!! Aiya!!! Not really the way you want to spend your day. But I had committed to it there was no way out. I was ticketed on the last train back to Suzhou while Tammy and the boys took an afternoon train home (no need to have the kids sit there and watch me cry).

In the tattoo world there is a design called a half sleeve (again demonstrating my vast tattoo knowledge) which covers your upper arm and shoulder. This isn’t exactly what I wanted but when he covered my arm with the print, it was going to be pretty darned close to what I would get. I tried to keep the size small so it would be covered with a standard short sleeved t-shirt but it seems that it wasn’t going to happen that way. “You’ll lose the detail” is what I was told. Well, okay but it is a bit big isn’t it? “No, it’s the size you need.” So he traces the outline of the design on paper (while I sit back on the couch and think of things I would rather be doing like talking to my insurance agent (more on that coming)) and when he is done he uses Speed Stick to cover my arm. Okay, maybe it wasn’t Speed Stick (byyyyy Mennen) but it sure looked like it. I was you basic wide, “deodorant” green stick that he rubbed on my arm and then placed the paper over it, being very careful to get things centered (this transfers the design, much like Silly Putty). Of course, Tammy is there to oversee the operation and provide her nod of approval (in between her giggles about how it was going to hurt).

With the design on my arm it was time for the chair. My tattoo artist was probably thinking to himself “Great, I have to tattoo a chicken wing.” I should the other foreigners in the shop getting tattoos. One was getting a dragon design that went from his shoulder to his knee, 11 sittings to get the design done (11!!!!). The other guy (Filipino) was getting a design on the right side of his stomach, ouch! I take my seat in the chair facing the guy starting session #1 of his dragon where she was doing the tattoo on his side and basically working between the belly button to the backbone, all nice and tender areas where needles are not supposed to be. I would watch his face as she worked and he would grimace (and not the loveable McDonald’s Grimace) and his legs and toes would jerk when she hit another patch of sensitive skin. Now that was pain! Just to add to the mystique here, the guy for whatever reason was wearing his boxer-briefs for the tattooing. I’m still not sure why but I have to say that I liked his purple Bjorn Borg undies (seriously, I think the name on the band was Bjorn Borg). The other guy was next to me and I could hear him with his grunts of pain so I knew it was going to be a long day. Based on the location of their tattoos and where mine was, I couldn’t even make a face because I was a wimp compared to what these guys were doing.

They actually go to great lengths to prepare everything like a dental office. The tools are on a stainless steel tray with the lovely blue paper underneath the tools and everything is wrapped in plastic that I am going to touch. They wear gloves when they work to protect themselves more than you. So once the design is on your arm, he puts the printout on the table for reference and begins to setup to do the outline. The buzzing starts and you see the needle move and it’s all over. He sticks you and you think, “Okay, that’s not so bad” but then you recognize that he is tracing over the outline and needs to continue. Buzzzz. “Okay, that’s getting worse”…buzzzz…”When is it going to be over?” Then he stops. He wipes your arm quickly, dips for more ink and it starts again. Buzzzz for between 4-8 seconds and then stop, wipe, dip and buzzzz. Sometimes he runs for longer periods as he works in a specific area and you think that the additional 2 seconds are too much, then it stops. Periodically he stops, pulls out a towel, wets it and wipes down your arm to take a look; that feels really good. You forget for a moment that he has only finished a small section and you’ve been in the chair for only 15 minutes of the 6 hours. For the outline, he uses a single, small needle to draw the outline and do all of the detail work. Tammy and the boys went to lunch and came back to see how it was going after about 90 minutes. The boys wanted to see if I was crying but they were disappointed. There were times when it was definitely intense but it wasn’t overwhelming pain (probably because after a short time your body is releasing endorphins and the pain is a little less intense than when it started and your body is going “What the heck are you doing? Run you fool!” Since this tattoo wrapped around my arm, it meant that the tricep area was getting stuck as well as the side and partial bicep. That’s when it really hurt, the bicep and then again when he was drawing the head section just above the armpit. Nice tender areas where needles aren’t supposed to go. These were the areas where he was drawing a little blood as he worked (nice image isn’t it?). The outline and detail work took almost 3 hours. Then it was all about the shading of the artwork. This is when it got worse. He pulls out a 4-5 needle tattoo gun and continues to work to get the shading done around the dragon. I should point out that he is still working with the black ink and so he is shading areas to make various shades of gray. Buzzzzrubbbb, buzzzzrubbbb as he works the needle all around the arm.

What am I doing while all this work is going on (besides the obvious trying to focus on something other than my arm)? I am watching the purple undies guy and then listening to people come into the shop to discuss what they want for a tat (again, tattoo jargon). There was a woman and her daughter that came in to get two piercings in her upper ear. This was done by a doctor that stopped in for 90 minutes to handle the piercings. Then a girl came in to get her nose pierced, she had a little issue and had to sit on the couch for 15 minutes to rest from the experience. Then he pocketed his cash for the day and left. Other than that, listening to the music and trying to get lost in my own thoughts (you don’t want to go there) I was just trying to pass the time and forget that a Chinese man was assaulting me.

Anyhow, back to the design selection, when I selected the design I asked for not so much detail work and background but that was obviously lost in the Chinese translation (or he said, “too bad for you chicken wing boy”) and he was working hard on getting this right. He would work for 30 minutes, ask me to stand, he would stand back and look and then it was back to the chair! Are you done yet? My appointment was at 12:30 and it took him until around 5:30 before he was finished with this part of the design and all he had left was the color. I should point out that my train left for Suzhou at 8:23 and I was probably 30 minutes from the train station if I hit the subway stops just right so I was starting to get a little worried as time was winding down. My original thought of leaving after 6 hours was fading fast. Once again, here comes the 4-5 barb needle gun (I don’t know if it was 4 or 5 since it was moving too fast for me to know for sure) buzzzzrubbbb (the official sound for the tattoo gun if you didn’t realize it by now). First the red ink, each time he stopped to wipe down my arm I would look at my watch and wonder if I would make the train, how could I ask for another train, what street grate is the most comfortable and where were the best garbage cans for a good dining experience. The other two guys were completed with their design work (the one guy for the day, he would be back the next day to continue) so it was just me in the shop. The color actually went by quite quickly by comparison, he added in two yellow colors, some green and then touched up with some white to finish off the design. When he was close to done a Chinese young couple came into the shop and he wanted a tattoo on his back that was XX (yep, XX). It was small and I thought kind of funny. It was located a little to the center of the shoulder blade. I have no idea why he wanted this but again, who was I to judge. He was probably wondering why this skinny Westerner was getting a dragon. It was tough to tell how the final product would look at times because in many areas of my arm when he hit me with this gun, I would bleed so the yellow color was diffused by the red and I was wondering what it would look like. My dragon has bloodshot eyes, what is he stoned? But as he continued, the blood faded and the color of the design came through. When he was finally finished he asked me to take a look in the mirror. I told him “feichang xihuan” (very much like it), he laughed (again, ruining my confidence in my Chinese skills). He took some photos for the shop and then covered my arm with a medical cream to prevent infection and wrapped my arm in plastic wrap (to prevent the design from sticking to my clothes). I headed out by about 7:20 and pulled out my directions for the Metro (subway) and put it in high gear to get to the train station. I made the mistake of trying to lean on the wall of the subway and recognized immediately that I should remember the tattoo (not so smart). I made it with about 20 minutes to spare so there wasn’t even time for a McDonald’s break, it was get on the train and get home. The soreness remained for several days as I had to treat the arm with ointment and cover it with plastic wrap but now I'm ready to unveil it to the world so go ahead and judge away.