Top 10 List

On the grand scale of occupations we like the least; there is a definite Top 10 list. Each person may have a slightly different list but my Top 3 (3….3…..3….3) would look something like this;
1. Politician
2. Lawyer
3. Insurance Agent
It’s not that these jobs are easy or do not require some talent and ability. It’s just the fact that no matter what your feeling is about a person you know (and like) in these fields, there are just so many “less than honorable” people in these fields that it screws it up for the good ones.

Recently, I have run into an issue with my house that required the intervention of my Insurance Agent to try and resolve. I’ll not name the company to prevent any hard feelings or animosity (or perhaps the call from a person in job #2 telling me to cease and desist) so let’s just say the company is Bait Farm Insurance and they have a slogan that might be “Like a good fisherman, Bait Farm is there”. [The events are real; the names have been changed to protect the innocent. Any resemblance to the situation or company is purely coincidental, so if you try to link this to an actual company, it’s all on you, and aren’t you ashamed of yourself?].

Anyhow, I am notified of some damage to my home that could be related to the bad weather encountered early this year. So I have to notify my agent to find out what I can do to start the process of getting the damage inspected and ultimately fixed. No immediate response, then a follow-up from me. Now I get a response, you need to file a claim before we do anything. I ask, what do I need to do to get a claim started, do I need someone to look at the damage and provide an estimate for repairs, etc. No response. Again, follow-up and I get the answer to file a claim. Gee thanks for all the help. I should point out that I am not getting communication directly from my agent but someone in her office (STAFF!?!?! STAFF!?!? Damnit! Only those who remember The Kimmer on the radio will appreciate this comment). So I appeal to her directly and get the same answer, file a claim. I should point out that in this “hypothetical” situation I have indicated that I am not living in the US and that perhaps I will need a little more assistance because of my inability to be in the same time zone. Does it work? Of course it doesn’t.

So I go online to file the claim without any idea of what is needed for this process. Of course due to my current location, the Internet isn’t exactly reliable (add ISP to the list of companies you hate, along with Utility Service Person). After several attempts I am able to finally complete the full form and submit it. Hooray for me! Now my agent will take charge and get the ball rolling (then I wake up from my dreams). Nothing happens.

I contact my agent again, she will finally contact the adjuster to look at the house but he cannot for 6 weeks. 6 WEEKS!!!!! Seriously (add Adjuster to the Top 10 list of jobs and that job is rapidly moving up the charts and into the Top 5), 6 weeks. He is that busy, really?!? Great, I’ll sit for 6 weeks and do nothing. I still don’t have an estimate on the damage and a check of the entire area to see what else may not be obvious from the simple vantage point. My sister steps in and gives me the name of a company to go out and check the damage. [Editor’s note; if you can’t rely on your family, who can you rely on?]. I had a few issues with them but my sister (she is nothing if not persistent, and when she’s on your side it is good for you) handled the problem and got the contractor out to look at the house. This is about 2-3 weeks after the initial contacts were made regarding the damage and such. I know it seems like a long time but every e-mail means a 1 day delay so what would be a quick fix back home takes much longer because you are waiting on a response and then responding to the response and so on. The contractor gets me a damage assessment and a quote on the repair work to be done. Imagine that, someone actually did some work (Contractor moving down the list). Now I’ve got something and I send the information on to my insurance agent who has been working feverishly behind the scenes to get the adjuster out to the house (Warning, SARCASM! The agent has done nothing, I ask if the adjuster can come out sooner and the reply is “No, he is very busy. Leave me alone China boy [okay, I added in the last part but I can see it happening]”).

What happens after the agent gets the quote? The very next day the adjuster finds time in his super busy schedule to go out and look at the house. Really, this is true. The very next day, freaking amazing (just out of the Top 3 now, Adjuster is #4)! However (and this is where it gets even more bizarre) he cannot e-mail me his report, he has to send it via post office due to his “company policy”. Can you believe it???? There are times in life when you hear something that is so stupid and moronic that it renders you completely speechless (at least for a short time)…this was one of those times I think back to one of my favorite quotes, “Never argue with a stupid person, they bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.” I sit and stare blankly at the computer screen with my mouth wide open without being able to truly comprehend how any company could have this ridiculous of a policy. How can you combat that (you can’t fix stupid)? I am left to ask for assistance to get the report sooner, yet again. My agent, can we call her Wonder Woman (meaning she is in a constant state of wonder), tells me that she will scan & e-mail me the report when she gets it. Okay, I sit back and wait, and wait and wait. A week later I send her another e-mail that was a little more forceful asking why the report hasn’t come in yet and indicating me displeasure with the entire situation (again). She actually responds with a message that the e-mail was sent on the previous Friday, an obvious lie coming either from her staff or her and she sends it to me again through her staff.

Of course, the adjuster does a lame job of doing anything but being a mouthpiece for the insurance company and first indicates the damages were about $400 lower than the contractors price and second indicates there is some hail damage to vents but not to the roof. Yes, of course, hail damage is always limited to the metal structures on the roof….dumbass!!! He also indicates that there is no interior damage. I guess he is talking about the interior of his truck since he could not get into the house. Big dumbass!!! You can’t fix stupid. So I go back to the agent and indicate the issues with his report and she gives me the one line message reply…”You need to call the Claims number 1-800….”. It was so warm and friendly, I am almost certain that she is in the running for Agent of the Year. The skill in which she uses the English language to be so concise yet so understanding, it makes me tingly all over. Now I know I am in for it. When people say to call a 1-800 number, you know that it took less time to build the Great Wall than it will be to speak to a real person that can actually solve your problem (and the worst part is that person is probably working out of a call center somewhere is Asia). When I asked her if the claim could be re-opened and I could get a second inspection, I got the same “Call the 1-800 number” message back (with warmth & friendliness).

So here I stand before you now complaining about the Insurance business. They will take your money all day long but when you ask for it back, you get the “Of course we can help you, but first you’ll need to bring me the broomstick of the wicked witch of the West. (I’ll get you my pretty) When I contact the 1-800 people, they indicate all I have to do is fax in my contractor’s estimate and a written request for a second inspection. Sounds easy right? Well, when I follow up after 48 hours (which was also in my directions), they can’t find the fax. Did you sent in your contractor’s quote? Aiya!!! Here we go again. So this guy sends me an e-mail that I should reply to and tells me to check back the following day. So I send the same information via e-mail (why didn’t they give me the e-mail address first?) and also fax it again. I should fax it every hour on the hour and ensure that they don’t forget me. So tomorrow (tonight) I check in again and see what has developed.

I know you want to know how the story ends, well…it isn’t over just yet. I’ve appealed the initial adjuster’s report and from what I understand they have to perform a second inspection with my contractor present so perhaps this will all work out. Who knows, the only thing I know is that I will be finding a new insurance company when this is all over. What’s that you say, they are all the same? I don’t think so. My in-laws had the roof collapse on their shed in the backyard, filed a claim and got a check in the mail with no inspection, no hassle. This just reinforces the point I made at the beginning, there are some good people whose jobs are in my Top 3 but these people seem to be few and far between so the rose among the thorns is hard to find. What jobs are in your Top 10? Perhaps blogosphere nerd comes to mind?