Party Time

This is an old story but hasn’t been revealed so I will go ahead and post this as I try and backfill the days leading up to the departure from China. We left China with mixed emotions because we enjoyed being there but we also looked forward to being closer to family and becoming part of the “collective” back in the US. For the last several months, we ran the full pendulum of emotions regarding our departure ranging from wanting to just to leave today and get it over with to more of an introspective, subdued mood where we would like to continue to experience life in Suzhou. Either way, regardless of the personal feelings, we were heading back.

The Sunday of my last week, a party was held in my honor (or it could be interpreted as a party to celebrate the departure of the skinny Laiwai “free at last, free at last” but I choose to believe the first option) to celebrate my time in Suzhou. It was held with my Chinese colleagues and friends at work. Obviously, we couldn’t go to Chucky Cheese or Outback Steakhouse so we went to a Chinese restaurant (Bei Men) for the dinner. I had no idea what to expect for the party and although I knew that many people were invited I had no idea how many would actually show up for the meal (although free food usually gets people to show up, regardless of where you live or if they like you or not. Free food AND drinks! Just tell me where and when…the why isn’t so important). When I arrived at the restaurant and was taken to the room where the party was being held I was very surprised to see that 25 people were there (perhaps the food was too good to pass up, sure they have to put up with me but those dumplings are to die for). The room had three large tables with the obligatory lazy susan in the middle of each table. The tables were arranged in a triangle of which I had to sit at the table that was located at the top of the triangle but I also had to sit on top of the triangle, it’s the seat of honor. It was a little unnerving because I’m not much for being the center of attention (sounds strange from a guy that writes about himself in a blog doesn’t it. I’m tired of writing about me, now you write about me for awhile.) but I had little choice. The food was being ordered and I had a quick look at the menu and chose the donkey “skillet”, everything else was chosen by others. I didn’t know what it was but I would have to eat something so hold your nose and pass the plate (let’s get another beer over here kuai yi dian).

Until the food arrived, there was some small talk at the table and a discussion about drinking and driving in China. The penalty for drunk driving in China is 6 months in prison and the loss of your license for 5 years. Now this may seem a bit harsh but the Chinese legal system is pretty darned efficient as a deterrent. Imagine that, caught drinking and driving and you go to prison; do not pass Go, do not collect $200. I think that if this was an automatic sentence in the US, perhaps the number of drunk drivers would diminish. Sure, the prison population might increase when the law takes effect but over time as people realize that you can’t get Johnny Cockroach, attorney at law, to get you off, they would stop. Keep in mind, that’s the first offense…imagine what getting caught a second time gets you. Anyhow, it was interesting to hear about the laws and I also know the German laws for this crime are also pretty harsh (of course in the US, we don’t want to use the word “crime”, we should say that the legalities for the disease are more humane (cough, cough, bull___!). What’s the legal limit in China, 0.08 just like many States in the US. [Editors note: It should also be pointed out that corruption is punishable by death in China. Imagine that! Again, laws should be upheld and the punishment needs to deter future law breakers. Martha Stewart would have made her last prison cell redecorating theme and we’d be rid of her, “you should go out with flair”] There were a few toasts to me early on with just small drinks of the beer as we waited on the food; however things were going to change very soon (as I would find out).

When the food does arrive, they spin it around to be in front of me first (Wheel of Green Stuff, Brown Stuff and other stuff). They wait for me to take some and this still isn’t good enough. I look at it, ask what it is and then put some on my plate but they all watch me and wait. I have to start to eat what I have gotten before anyone else begins to eat. It was a little (a lot) awkward as they sat and watched me but I eventually got the message and grabbed something and stuffed it in my mouth. There were peanuts, sweet lotus root stuffed with rice, cold pumpkin chunks (they ate the whole thing, skin and all…think about all of the “food” we waste at Halloween), a green pile of stuff which was crunchy but I had no idea what it was and many other things, some good and others….not so much.

While the appetizers were being eaten, the people at my table would fill their glass (maybe 6-8 oz) with beer and then fill my glass and offer a “toast”. They never said anything but expected me to drink the full glass with them. O-K-A-Y! This is going to get interesting. They would clap and laugh when I would down my beer and I would grumble something, which made them laugh even more. [In the interest of full disclosure, before I went to the party, Tammy and I went to the Blue Marlin to have a quick beer so I could prepare for the party. I had a .5 liter glass of Erdinger (German beer….excellent, now that is something I really miss) which at the time seemed to be a good idea. Now….not so much.] Even the women were getting into the act. Now they didn’t want the cold beer, they wanted warm beer. I am not sure why but for some reason, they seemed to prefer that. They started doing the drinking with me. First Vicky, then Amy, then Coris (and her 44 kg weight). In very short order, they were determining if I could hang with the big pandas. I was starting to worry as I would need something in my stomach to keep my head about me…seconds from disaster. Then the main courses started to arrive….whew! Disaster averted.

They pretty much left me in peace while I was eating but shortly thereafter, here they come. Individually or in small groups they came around to toast me and drink with me. Everyone had to have a drink with me, didn’t matter who it was or anything, they had to share a drink with me. To make it worse, some weren’t satisfied with just one glass of beer. As soon as that was done, it was refill it and drink again! Aiya! I had thought that this might happen but I really wasn’t prepared as they continued to drink with me. It wasn’t so much the beer, it was the carbonation. After 6 straight glasses of beer being downed in less than 10 seconds, my stomach was about to explode without some serious belching to get rid of the gas buildup. It was about this time that I brought out my camera for photos to see if I could slow the onslaught. The girls took the camera and started to look through the pictures that were still on the camera that included my wife’s “backpacking” adventures in Cambodia (and I am sure that some of those photos made an impression) and then some of Tammy riding one of the brooms in the basement of the apartment complex, “Why is your wife riding a broom?” That one I am sure they didn't get. How do you explain some of the photos….I just didn’t. I just said, “my wife is mentally handicapped, after all she married me.” [Tammy and the boys got a kick out of this story when they looked through the photos and realized the some of the photos probably did leave an impression as they noted the many photos of my wife and her Canadian companions seemed to always include some kind of beverage] Then, the photos started being taken with the groups and me. I went around to each table and took photos with individuals and groups to have more pictures to remember the people that I had come to view as my Chinese family.

The food was pretty darned good but they don’t really eat much meat, more veggies than anything else. It was odd but it meant more donkey for me so I wasn’t complaining. It wasn’t long before they started to bring out the watermelon and fruit plates; which is the typical ending for a meal. When that comes out, it is a signal that your time is up….now get out! We talked a little more and then it was time to wrap up the party and head home. There were some tears (of joy?) shed as it became reality that I was actually leaving. Some had known for months about my upcoming departure but did not believe that it would truly happen. Lina, the only remaining person we had from the initial group of 4 people that were hired to work in the plant. Vicky and Dragon; graduates of a local textile school that were part of the second wave of people hired. Amy, she was in the third group of operators that we hired, she was one of the oldest workers at 32 but she was also one of the best workers we had. Coris, one of our CIT Engineers that I had worked closely with as she worked to achieve her Green Belt. Tony, a Design Engineer that I had been training. Tony seemed to understand the “Western way” and was very quick to take on a task by himself. He wasn’t as hesitant to step out and do a job. His English was excellent and he was a teacher for me about different cultural differences between the US and China. [He previously worked for a Tawainese company before and was surprised to see the “lazy Americans” working with the people to get things done. We got our hands dirty and he didn’t see this at his previous company and had not expected to see it from a Western company. In the Taiwanese company, hierarchy was everything. The office staff ate in a separate lunch room and didn’t associate with the workers except to give them demands. So the American way of working was a surprise and made him believe he had chosen the right company.] Tom, Jackie, Hanbo and John; the four Supervisors that took a lot of grief from me since I had to express myself to them and they would translate for me to the workers. I know they didn’t always translate it exactly how I said it but they said what needed to be said…I think (if nothing else the workers knew how I felt by my reactions to certain situations). Jerry and Leo, the plant engineers that helped me communicate with vendors and contractors. They had a big job and put up with my rants about how things needed to be done. So many others Eden, Katrina, Sky, Ho, Ken, Xia Li, Archer, Gao, Laverne and the list goes on.

It was a good chance to spend a little more time with my co-workers away from the office and have the chance to let them know how I felt about them before I left and visa-versa. It was a huge challenge and risk to take this assignment but I made some good friends that I will remain in contact with for years to come.