Split Pants

It's Saturday, it rained very hard early this morning but cleared up by around 9:30 or so. I had decided last night that I was going back to Auchan, by myself this time (cue the suspense theme....dun, dun, duuuuuuuh!). If you don't know what I am talking about, go back and read about my first visit to Auchan with Steve about 2 weeks back, Reader's Digest version....Wal-mart on crack. Now we can move on. I decided to walk to Auchan just because I get a better feel for the area on foot rather than by taxi. Somehow I feel safer walking than riding in the cabs, imagine that. It took me about 35-40 minutes, not bad since I wasn't really pushing it. It's not too far a walk and I took a few different streets to see what's around. I arrive at Auchan and take a Xanax and a shot of tequila to build up my nerve to walk in....okay, (deep breath) baby steps down the sidewalk, baby steps into the entrance, baby steps towards the escalator. I walk around on the ground floor and it seems that there isn't much here, I was expecting a larger area but there really isn't one so up I go to the second floor (housewares, groceries, 1 million people, watch your step sir). I head to the very end of the store passing all of the scooters (yes, they sell electric scooters here in the store, there are actually people riding them around a small area to give them a test drive) and other stuff right into the electronics section. Cool, TVs, DVD players, stereo systems, headphones, and on and on. It just doesn't end. I walked around looking for a few things, some earbuds, a surge protector, some rechargeable batteries, storage bins for food and some other odds and ends. I was also looking for a George Foreman grill, you know what I'm talking about. At home, we used this for a hot sandwich press, chicken nuggets (soon to be squiddy nuggets), chicken sandwiches and a host of other uses. It's a great tool. I finally located it but it looked different, it was the George Foreman/Jackie Chan grill. I guess George doesn't have the following in China so they put Jackie Chan's signature (allegedly) on the item. They only had the small one, it could cook about 1 chicken patty at a time which would not be helpful (okay, who wants to eat and who wants to wait another 30 minutes?). I decided not to buy, we'll make the decision on if we will bring one from home or perhaps switch to a toaster oven. Perhaps we'll just go with one of the 200 rice cookers they had on the shelf. Also interesting is that they sell electric hot plates but not like the old style. You know the new cooktops with the glass and the element underneath, yep, they have them by the dozen here and are happy to sell them. Anyhow, I never made it to the grocery side of the store. After an old lady gave me a push to the side so she could get her batteries I decided it was probably time for me to get out. Oh yeah, I could've knocked her down but what's the fun in that (besides if she knew karate, I was about to get my butt kicked by Pat Morita's mom). Something interesting at the checkout, you pay for the bags. They ask you which bag you want (I think that's what she said or perhaps she said I looked cute in my jeans, it was close but I'll stick with the bag thing just to be sure) and you point to one of the standard bags, a heavier plastic bag or a reuseable bag. Then they scan the bag and beep....you're paying for it. Wait until the Democrats get ahold of this one, paying for your grocery bags, GENIUS! Almost got off course for a second, deep breath and continue. So I get my stuff and follow my blockers to the exit.

On the way out, I mean right there (right there) is a small boy squatting down. I take a second look as his mom and dad watch, is that what I think it is.....yep, he's peeing on the sidewalk right at the entrance to Auchan. What the....... !?!? I notice he is wearing what they call split pants here. It's gonna sound crass but these are essentially crotchless pants for small children, I don't know how else to describe them. Potty training is different in China and so when a child is off the diaper, they move to split pant (where we would perhaps move to the pull ups). So when the kid has to go, badda-bing, they go. I was warned about this before coming over but I wasn't expecting it to be right at the entrance to Auchan. People are getting out of cabs and walking right around this boy, someone else is walking around him to get into a cab. HE'S PEEING PEOPLE...RIGHT THERE....HIM....PEEING...ON THE SIDEWALK. I mean what are you going to do? I fear the reaction of Warren and Jacob when they see this, it's going to be a 300 db level "LOOK HE'S PEEING" and laughter. I know it's going to happen I only hope that I can stop them before the reaction happens, I can see it and if you know them you know it's going to happen. So while I'm pondering the long term ramifications of being trained that peeing anywhere is okay, a boy about 8 years old walks over to a bush and yes, he takes a pee right there. His mom keeps walking (hurry up son, there's a sale on squid chunks), nothing to see here people just a kid taking a leak in public. I've seen this many times with contruction workers just turning their back to traffic and peeing on the side of the road and of couse, the infamous peeing cop. There are public toilets around but perhaps they are not conveniently located, I don't know. It's the darndest thing and just a part of being in China. You know what they say, when in China do as the Chinese do. So, tomorrow I'm going to find me a tree and mark my territory (here's looking at you kid).

Tonight, the Drunken Chef. A English Pub out near Walking Street. A bunch of people are headed out for some pool and drinks. Last time I had the Quesidillas (yes, that's right at an English pub, it's amazing the variety of food served everywhere to try and accomodate all tastes), tonight I'll be eyeing the Sheperd's Pie.