Back in the States

I'll keep this brief (and this time, I mean it). We arrived back in the US (mainland, after a brief stay in Hawaii....story coming later) on Tuesday of last week. Since the return we have been very busy with trying to get settled since we nnot only relocated from China but also have to relocate within the US from GA to SC. It may not sound like a big deal but it has been a challenge.

Step 1: Get a phone. We accomplished that by getting phones from AT&T and I now have moved up into the tech-savvy age and have a Blackberry. I don't know what that really means but I can get my e-mail on my phone and browse the web. This has become a real handy feature since coming back to interact with our agent and others in real time. I know you are thinking this is a no brainer but you can't do anything without being able to reach out and touch someone (or visa-versa).

Step 2: Find a house or at least start the search. We found an agent online and have been working with her since we arrived. She was the only agent to really followup with me when I was in China and she seemed to actually want to work for her money. The other agents I contacted paid little attention (like they were swamped with business) or wanted to look outside the guidelines I established as far as costs and size, etc. With places like Zillow.com and Homes.com, the real estate business seems a little easier for us to find information on our own but we still need someone to setup the appointments and work for us. We could contact all of these other agents and agencies but that's a lot of work to do.

Step 3: Find a car. We sold the cars before leaving the US so we had to get some wheels of our own. We had a rental but that wasn't a good, long term option. We went through the typical dealership and got the bait-n-switch stuff but we walked away and found a good dealership and sales person that didn't leave us feeling like we needed to take a shower after leaving. We got a car at a price higher than what we wanted to pay but hopefully it works out for us. It just steals money from our budget for a home.

Unfortunately, finding a house in an alleged "buyers market" isn't so easy. We've looked at over two dozen homes and found that we had issues with almost every one of them. Some of the older homes should be on a TLC remodeling show to demonstrate how to bring a home back to it's original condition. The first house we looked at was of this variety. It had been empty for over a year but it appears the owners left in the middle of the night. There was stuff everywhere (seriously, blankets and personal effects on the walls, and all over) and there was even still food in the kitchen (what had not been rotten or eaten by the rats). It was a disaster that was $50K from being even remotely ready to occupy. Perhaps our expectations were higher but we have had a hard time finding anything that we think would work out for us. We even increased our price range to look at the next tier of homes and found basically nothing. The one house we found seems to be in the bad area of town and is overpriced and probably not a place to have a family due to the crime rates in the immediate area. It didn't appear that bad coming in from one side of the house but the exiting side...that was different.

House hunting is a real pain in the butt and it will continue until we can find something. Keep us in your prayers as we look to find something. We've got a lot of things to post regarding our last days in China, Hawaii, US Airways, etc. but that will come with time. First, we'll get re-acclimated to the US and then we finish off the book on China.

NEWSFLASH!!!

Today we’ll be revisiting recent blogs to provide you with an update on where things stand (this is a Muppet News Flash)

First, I’ll bet you are all wondering what is happening with my insurance situation. Well pilgrim, I’m glad you asked. It turns out that they cancelled my policy (now isn’t that a kick in the pants). Not only have they cancelled the policy, they did so without even telling me until AFTER the official cancellation date had passed. Isn’t that just swell!?!? The reason, you want their story or the truth (you can’t handle the truth!)? Their reason is that the risk for an unoccupied dwelling is too high and therefore, they have to cancel the policy. Now, the truth is that they cancelled the policy because I didn’t lay down and accept their adjuster’s recommendation. According to the timeline (and I have put together this timeline), the policy was cancelled just about the same time that their adjuster came out to look at the damage to the roof. My guess, he saw the “For Sale” sign in the yard and made his decision about the damage and also communicated with State Farm that the house was empty. Of course, we appealed this and we actually won that one after we sent in a complaint to the GA Insurance Commissioner’s office and contacted the regional director for State Farm. To define win, they reinstated the policy for another two months to allow us time to find a new insurance carrier. They did not back off of the fact that they were no longer going to insure my home. I was going to dump them anyhow (I am breaking up with you) so it’s not a big deal but it’s just another thing that I have to deal with that really should not have happened. Insurance companies are in business to make money so that’s the way the ball bounces. I guess they forget that the money comes from people who have insurance that pay them for the insurance (i.e. me). Somehow it makes sense to them to cancel the policy so I’ll find a new carrier and see where it goes from there.

How about the tattoo thing, how’s that working out? Well, it has been interesting to see the reactions of my Chinese colleagues. Most have really liked it but the funniest part is that two of my colleagues have gotten their own tattoos. Ken got his despite his wife’s disapproval when he asked her about getting one after seeing mine (he said he had always wanted one). He actually went out and got it done. He got one of the small tribal type black tattoos on his upper arm. You wouldn’t know it was there if he didn’t point it out because it is hidden by his shirt sleeve. I think he was inspired to do this when he saw mine and figured that I wasn’t a bad man so he wouldn’t be a bad man either. His wife…..well that’s his problem to deal with because she wasn’t happy anyhow (one small step for man, one giant leap for your wife to remind you of every other day when she does something you hate. When you least expect it, I make you pay.). Another female colleague got a star on her right shoulder blade area. It looked really good; she actually showed it to me first before anyone else could see it. In both cases, they surprised me more with how they treat the tattoo than the fact that they actually got a tattoo. They are told not to wash the area and leave it alone for a week before they can wash it again. This is totally different than what I had to do after I got the tattoo. I washed it with soap and let it air dry, then I applied the antibacterial ointment on the tattoo. After it had a few moments to dry, I wrapped the tattoo in plastic wrap (use Glad Cling Wrap to keep your chicken arm fresh) to keep it from sticking to clothing while drying & healing. At night, I would come home, wash the tattoo and let it air dry and then wrap it again before bedtime. I had to do this for a week to keep the area from getting infected. They seem to just let it heal without any treatment, something I would never have let happen. When Ken showed me his tattoo on Thursday, it was looking pretty rough. It definitely wasn’t healing the way I thought it should but what do I know (my experience is two tattoos, the Chinese built the Great Wall so they must understand the tattoo). I told him to put some medicine on it to prevent infection and it would be fine (I hope). It’s strange, people will wear masks over here to keep from getting sick and they freak out if they get a small cut but give them a tattoo and they do nothing. They don’t seem to understand that a tattoo is a series of very small puncture wounds. Very strange but somehow it makes sense for China.

Warren still needs to write about his trip to Chengdu. He went on a trip with classmates to work in one of the Panda Sanctuaries in Chengdu. This is the place where the pandas that are on “loan” from China come from (like the ones at the Atlanta Zoo). He got to work with the panda caretakers and played Mike Rowe (Dirty Jobs) for a few days as he cleaned panda poo and helped to feed the animals.

How about the eyeglasses? Surprise! Surprise! The glasses are perfect, no issues, no problems. I know; I am as surprised as anyone. I figured I would put them on and walk into a light post or something but I can see just fine. Warren’s are the same way. Now it gets me to wondering, why does the Optometrist do all of those extra things if the machine will provide you with a prescription? For anyone that has had an eye exam, you know the routine. You look into machine (just like the one they had here) and it tells you your vision (Man! You are blind!). However, back home that’s just the beginning of the experience. Then it is sit in the chair for 15-20 minutes and wait for the eye doctor to come in and review your history and the new vision. He then does the air-puff thing on your eyes which I think is a test for glaucoma or something like that (everyone loves this test, keep your eyes open and have them hit your eyeball with a quick puff of air making you head jerk back….). Then he’ll put that goofy, massive borg-looking machine in front of you and start the click-click-click as he allegedly dials in your prescription. Then its start the selection process as you read the eye chart. “Which is better 1 or 2…..1……2…..2…..1?” You say “2”. “A…..B…..A…..B……or about the same?” “The same” Click-click-click. Now which one “1….2…..1…..2…..1…..2?” All the while you are sweating it out as you realize that any mistake will screw up your eyes worse. You start to wonder if it really matters and find your mind drifting away to the dulcet tones of “1…..2…..1…..2” (and ah-one and ah-two and ah……). Then you are snapped back to reality as his voice seems to change and he’s becoming annoyed that you can’t make a decision. “C’mon dummy, it’s either 1 or 2, do I have to draw you a roadmap?” (even if you did I couldn’t see it) Then it’s almost over or so you think. He makes some clicks and says “can you see the chart?” (sorry, I wasn’t paying attention is that an “W”), this is your new prescription. (Can I see “A” again?) Here was your old one, and here is your new one. There’s virtually no change (great, and how much did it cost me for that piece of news?). Then it’s time for the dreaded, “We want to dilate your pupils, is that okay?” (HECK NO!) Whatever. So they put drops in your eyes and make you wait in the waiting room and expect you to read a magazine or something but you can’t focus on anything because did I happen to mention that my pupils are dialating. (What!?!?!? Ellen is dating Oprah or does that say Elton John is signing opera? Oh crap! I picked up People magazine! Loooser!) After 10-15 minutes it’s back into the room to wait for the doctor again. This time he picks up the magnifying glass that he used as a kid to burn ants and decides he will focus his “laser” beam on the back of your eyeball (insert evil laugh here). He gets uncomfortably close as he stares into the back of your eyeball like a witch doctor studying the bones he just rolled out on the table. (this year’s American Idol winner will come from the US. Tell me more oh powerful one. The world will end of March 21, 2011. Swing-and-a-miss.) After a few minutes he’ll tell you everything looks good and then it’s out to pay for the visit and select your glasses. All the while you can’t see crap. Am I writing a check or am I just signing a Post-It note? You have to rely on someone to help pick out your frames and tell you if they look good so you don’t pick out ladies glasses. Remember, my eyes are dialated, how can I pick out frames? Then they send you out into the bright sunlight to watch you hunch over in pain and the light burns a hole through your head (it burns, it burns). You look like a reject from The Lost Boys as you stagger to find your car and wait for the light to go out. Hopefully you have some old people sunglasses (you know the ones I am talking about) to allow you to drive home.

But I digress from the point (don’t I always). Does all of this mean that your prescription is more accurate? Not really, last time at the eye doctors before I left, the prescription I had was bad and it made me sick to put on the glasses. The doctors could find nothing wrong and so I finally had to go to another eye doctor who fixed the prescription. Here, one “doctor”, one prescription and everything went fine without all of the other extra add-ons (how about the extra-thin lenses….that’s an additional $80. You should get the scratch-resistant coating…another $40. How about the lens cleaning kit? And so on it goes…). It may turn out that I was lucky but somehow with all of the Chinese that wear glasses that they know what they are doing here. So we’ve been to the dentist (and by we, I mean Tammy and the boys), the doctor and the optometrist here without any major issues. Lucky for us, Suzhou is pretty comfortable for Westerners so it’s probably a lot worse in many other places.

So, what’s left? The one update that maybe you already know. We are heading back to the US in July (should be home on July 4th…..sounds about right doesn’t it?). We’ll be leaving Georgia and heading to South Carolina so we’ll be looking for new digs and finding out what we have missed the past two years. What about the blog? You’ll have to wait and see.

Seeing Clearly

Today Warren and I had another new experience in China; we went to get our eyes checked. It has been 2 years since our last eye examination but at some point in time you have to make a decision to be sure you can still see what is happening around you (who moved that tree?). Unfortunately the fact that there is an English speaking clinic for medical and dental issues here kind of spoils you. As far as an eye doctor, we tried to find someone but we were unable to locate an English speaking eye doctor here in Suzhou. So we had to test the waters with a Chinese speaking “doctor” (or someone who played a doctor on TV). We didn’t know exactly where to go but we knew of a place in the Neighborhood Center that sold glasses. This is the same center where we get out train tickets (and by “we” I mean Tammy) so how bad can it be? Train tickets….eyeglasses, almost the same right? We walked by the place a couple of weekends back and I wasn’t really sure about it but Warren needed new glasses so it was time (feel the power of the dark side) to test the waters.

The eye shop was kind of similar to a Lens Crafters or places like that. Small counters with different types of glasses and lenses, there was also a small section (about the size of a broom closet) where they appeared to do the eye exams and another small section where they prepared the lenses for the frames. It was kind of a typical place but to a much smaller scale. There was no back hallway leading to the examination rooms or the dentist-type chairs to sit in with all of the fancy, high-tech looking equipment all around. It was a simple shop where they sold eyeglasses and where we assumed they performed eye exams. There were two ladies working along with an older gentleman that you first assumed to be the optometrist (and you know what happens when you assume) but he wasn’t (so much for the power of perception). We went in and looked around for a moment and once she looked to be “free” I walked over and indicated Warren (that’s right, put your first born in the line of fire….I’m not gonna try it, let’s get Mikey) needed an eye exam and the lady took him over to the small examination area of the store. It was like a small alcove in the store that was separated by a short 2 ft high wall. She sat him down and had him look into the magic “this is your eye prescription” machine (you know the one, it shows the house and the field) to figure out what his new prescription would be. She told him to put his face into the mold while she setup the machine (did I mention she was speaking Chinese). The funny thing was that because of his height, he was trying to move his chair down at the same time she was moving the machine downward. He is trying to lean into the machine without having to stoop over like the hunchback of Notre Dame and she keeps dropping the height on him. Eventually, he put his head in there and got the readout. Then she took these “Harry Potter meets Harry Carry special black and round slotted frames and put some lens options in the slots and had him put on these “glasses” to check his prescription. It was pretty comical as he had these Borg looking (resistance is futile) glasses on. She then had him sit in another chair to look at a mirror located about 2 meters in front of him and read the chart that was over his head. Let me say it again, he sat in a chair underneath an eye chart and looked in the mirror to try and read the chart. It contained E in different directions (up, down, left and right). She stood next to him and took her ruler and pointed to an “E” and told him to tell her if he saw it. Warren was all confused as she pointed and asked him questions in Chinese. I figured it out as I watched from the peanut gallery and told him to give her the direction with his hand. Then she would say “Hao bu Hao” and move on to the next line. He was starting to get it when she asked even more questions (all in Chinese of course). It was pretty comical, Now Mr. Potter please tell the class about the potion that she has taken that is forcing her to speak in a language that only she can understand. I’m trying not to laugh loudly but I am chuckling as she asks him questions and then turns to the tray of lens inserts and adds them and continues to ask questions. Warren would look at her, with those huge, bug-eye frames and try and figure out what she said but he was having limited luck. She then asked him “Shufu bu Shufu”. We had no idea what she was asking so she tilted her head to the left and right like some kind of insane bobble head doll and continued to say “shufu bu shufu”. Now I can’t help myself, I’m laughing louder watching this comedy unfold. Warren is sitting in the corner of this little closet wearing the Harry Potter birth control glasses (black frame with the red lens selections) staring at a mirror while trying to figure out what this lady is saying in Chinese about the stuff she Is pointing to just over his head.. We still both looked confused when she kicked it up a notch and came over to me and wrote out the character for “shufu” on a piece of paper. Ooooh, now I understand (not!!!). She must’ve thought a lot about me because I looked smart or something (man was she wrong; people think I’m white and nerdy). I had pulled out my Chinese-English dictionary and was trying to figure out how to spell “shufu” in Pinyin so I would know what the heck she was saying. Finally, it became clear…comfortable. She was asking if the glasses were comfortable, meaning was he feeling okay with the new prescription. Aha! Now we’re getting somewhere. He had no issues so we could move forward to the frame selection.

This wasn’t as bad, although the selections were a little weird since the Chinese pretty much have rectangular frames all the time. The round frames are not normally used here. As with any eyeglass place, they had some winners and losers for frames. He would try on a pair, she would mumble something and either take them back or laugh and take them back. Too big, too small, not right, whatever. It was like the normal routine at home just with a different flair. Of course, Warren and I were on our own here without a female presence to tell you what looks good (look mom, I dressed myself!). Warren had to say “This is when we need Mom.” as I would provide my typical supportive statements when he was trying out the different frames. You know what I am talking about “Hey, those look okay….if you want your girlfriend to dump your butt”, “Those ones are nice…for a woman”, ”Oooh, I like those….not!” Your standard, run-of-the-mill supportive parent type comments (look, I am not the one you should be looking to for advice on anything to do with fashion, I freely admit it). I am not sure why he didn’t find me helpful. Eventually he settled on the style and then she showed us a book and was pointing to different tables. I had an idea of what she was indicating because there was a cost number attached and told her that was okay. Warren looks at me and says “did you understand her?” I said no but she was indicating costs so she was talking about lens options and thought that his prescription would be okay with the standard lenses. You know, back home they give you the once over with the “how about the UV coating?”, “you want the thinner lenses”, “how about tinting”, and so on as they go “cha-ching”. Here I had no idea what the options were but I guessed that it was about the lens thickness more than anything else and of course, I was right (as far as anyone could tell). So she tallies up the final costs for the exam (if you want to call it that), the frames and the lenses….560 RMB, that’s $86. Find me a pair of frames in the US that costs less than $80. It’s crazy!

So after he was done, I stepped up and got my eyes checked as well (step aside and let me show you how a man does it!). My exam was limited as she indicated that my current prescription was good and there was no change needed. Then it was pick out the frames and lenses for me. I picked out some of the magnetic frames (that have the sunglass attachments) and thought those would be okay for me. The best part was that I got two different attachments, one that was a blue shaded option and the other she pulled out of the case for me to try. She held this little card out in front of me and had me look at it with and without the shades. The card changed and revealed a secret message as soon as you put on the shades (don’t forget to drink your ovaltine) like some kind of super spy trick. It was really bizarre because she said that those lenses were made for driving. Driving, really!?!? So the frames allow you not to see people as you focus entirely on driving? (pay no attention to the person on the bicycle since they are paying no attention to you) Perhaps they omit the other cars on the road? With the way they drive, I think everyone has a pair of these lenses (Wow! The whole road to myself, this is great!). Anyhow, I got those frames with the attachments, all for 800 RMB, $125. I couldn’t even get frames in the past for that much. Of course, the proof will be in the ricecakes. If we get the glasses and they don’t help, then it’s wasted money but if these work, we’re golden.

She originally told us tomorrow afternoon to pick up the glasses but then was telling us something different. Sometimes, knowing words is okay but it still tough to understand the full message. I understood company and go home but the rest was a mystery. Another Chinese was in the store and she talked back and forth with him when he tried to tell me that it would be Tuesday before the glasses would be ready. The lens makers (time to make the lenses) were off of work for the day. Ahhh, no problem. Tuesday is fine.

The best part was that when she took our glasses for the measurements to fit the new lenses, she wiped them with this cloth before she handed them back. It looked like an old, dirty dishrag that was dingy gray color. She wiped the glasses and Warren whispers to me “wipe them before you put them one” but I wasn’t listening. It was like a bum at the airport was washing your windshield with a grease rag, everything was blurred and nasty. I really don’t want to know where the rag has been but I suspect it was used to clean more than just glasses (time for the Fox5 Investigative Team to jump into action). I just said thanks and headed out the door and wiped off the glasses with my shirt. Meanwhile, she headed for the bathroom with "the cloth”……aaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!

Top 10 List

On the grand scale of occupations we like the least; there is a definite Top 10 list. Each person may have a slightly different list but my Top 3 (3….3…..3….3) would look something like this;
1. Politician
2. Lawyer
3. Insurance Agent
It’s not that these jobs are easy or do not require some talent and ability. It’s just the fact that no matter what your feeling is about a person you know (and like) in these fields, there are just so many “less than honorable” people in these fields that it screws it up for the good ones.

Recently, I have run into an issue with my house that required the intervention of my Insurance Agent to try and resolve. I’ll not name the company to prevent any hard feelings or animosity (or perhaps the call from a person in job #2 telling me to cease and desist) so let’s just say the company is Bait Farm Insurance and they have a slogan that might be “Like a good fisherman, Bait Farm is there”. [The events are real; the names have been changed to protect the innocent. Any resemblance to the situation or company is purely coincidental, so if you try to link this to an actual company, it’s all on you, and aren’t you ashamed of yourself?].

Anyhow, I am notified of some damage to my home that could be related to the bad weather encountered early this year. So I have to notify my agent to find out what I can do to start the process of getting the damage inspected and ultimately fixed. No immediate response, then a follow-up from me. Now I get a response, you need to file a claim before we do anything. I ask, what do I need to do to get a claim started, do I need someone to look at the damage and provide an estimate for repairs, etc. No response. Again, follow-up and I get the answer to file a claim. Gee thanks for all the help. I should point out that I am not getting communication directly from my agent but someone in her office (STAFF!?!?! STAFF!?!? Damnit! Only those who remember The Kimmer on the radio will appreciate this comment). So I appeal to her directly and get the same answer, file a claim. I should point out that in this “hypothetical” situation I have indicated that I am not living in the US and that perhaps I will need a little more assistance because of my inability to be in the same time zone. Does it work? Of course it doesn’t.

So I go online to file the claim without any idea of what is needed for this process. Of course due to my current location, the Internet isn’t exactly reliable (add ISP to the list of companies you hate, along with Utility Service Person). After several attempts I am able to finally complete the full form and submit it. Hooray for me! Now my agent will take charge and get the ball rolling (then I wake up from my dreams). Nothing happens.

I contact my agent again, she will finally contact the adjuster to look at the house but he cannot for 6 weeks. 6 WEEKS!!!!! Seriously (add Adjuster to the Top 10 list of jobs and that job is rapidly moving up the charts and into the Top 5), 6 weeks. He is that busy, really?!? Great, I’ll sit for 6 weeks and do nothing. I still don’t have an estimate on the damage and a check of the entire area to see what else may not be obvious from the simple vantage point. My sister steps in and gives me the name of a company to go out and check the damage. [Editor’s note; if you can’t rely on your family, who can you rely on?]. I had a few issues with them but my sister (she is nothing if not persistent, and when she’s on your side it is good for you) handled the problem and got the contractor out to look at the house. This is about 2-3 weeks after the initial contacts were made regarding the damage and such. I know it seems like a long time but every e-mail means a 1 day delay so what would be a quick fix back home takes much longer because you are waiting on a response and then responding to the response and so on. The contractor gets me a damage assessment and a quote on the repair work to be done. Imagine that, someone actually did some work (Contractor moving down the list). Now I’ve got something and I send the information on to my insurance agent who has been working feverishly behind the scenes to get the adjuster out to the house (Warning, SARCASM! The agent has done nothing, I ask if the adjuster can come out sooner and the reply is “No, he is very busy. Leave me alone China boy [okay, I added in the last part but I can see it happening]”).

What happens after the agent gets the quote? The very next day the adjuster finds time in his super busy schedule to go out and look at the house. Really, this is true. The very next day, freaking amazing (just out of the Top 3 now, Adjuster is #4)! However (and this is where it gets even more bizarre) he cannot e-mail me his report, he has to send it via post office due to his “company policy”. Can you believe it???? There are times in life when you hear something that is so stupid and moronic that it renders you completely speechless (at least for a short time)…this was one of those times I think back to one of my favorite quotes, “Never argue with a stupid person, they bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.” I sit and stare blankly at the computer screen with my mouth wide open without being able to truly comprehend how any company could have this ridiculous of a policy. How can you combat that (you can’t fix stupid)? I am left to ask for assistance to get the report sooner, yet again. My agent, can we call her Wonder Woman (meaning she is in a constant state of wonder), tells me that she will scan & e-mail me the report when she gets it. Okay, I sit back and wait, and wait and wait. A week later I send her another e-mail that was a little more forceful asking why the report hasn’t come in yet and indicating me displeasure with the entire situation (again). She actually responds with a message that the e-mail was sent on the previous Friday, an obvious lie coming either from her staff or her and she sends it to me again through her staff.

Of course, the adjuster does a lame job of doing anything but being a mouthpiece for the insurance company and first indicates the damages were about $400 lower than the contractors price and second indicates there is some hail damage to vents but not to the roof. Yes, of course, hail damage is always limited to the metal structures on the roof….dumbass!!! He also indicates that there is no interior damage. I guess he is talking about the interior of his truck since he could not get into the house. Big dumbass!!! You can’t fix stupid. So I go back to the agent and indicate the issues with his report and she gives me the one line message reply…”You need to call the Claims number 1-800….”. It was so warm and friendly, I am almost certain that she is in the running for Agent of the Year. The skill in which she uses the English language to be so concise yet so understanding, it makes me tingly all over. Now I know I am in for it. When people say to call a 1-800 number, you know that it took less time to build the Great Wall than it will be to speak to a real person that can actually solve your problem (and the worst part is that person is probably working out of a call center somewhere is Asia). When I asked her if the claim could be re-opened and I could get a second inspection, I got the same “Call the 1-800 number” message back (with warmth & friendliness).

So here I stand before you now complaining about the Insurance business. They will take your money all day long but when you ask for it back, you get the “Of course we can help you, but first you’ll need to bring me the broomstick of the wicked witch of the West. (I’ll get you my pretty) When I contact the 1-800 people, they indicate all I have to do is fax in my contractor’s estimate and a written request for a second inspection. Sounds easy right? Well, when I follow up after 48 hours (which was also in my directions), they can’t find the fax. Did you sent in your contractor’s quote? Aiya!!! Here we go again. So this guy sends me an e-mail that I should reply to and tells me to check back the following day. So I send the same information via e-mail (why didn’t they give me the e-mail address first?) and also fax it again. I should fax it every hour on the hour and ensure that they don’t forget me. So tomorrow (tonight) I check in again and see what has developed.

I know you want to know how the story ends, well…it isn’t over just yet. I’ve appealed the initial adjuster’s report and from what I understand they have to perform a second inspection with my contractor present so perhaps this will all work out. Who knows, the only thing I know is that I will be finding a new insurance company when this is all over. What’s that you say, they are all the same? I don’t think so. My in-laws had the roof collapse on their shed in the backyard, filed a claim and got a check in the mail with no inspection, no hassle. This just reinforces the point I made at the beginning, there are some good people whose jobs are in my Top 3 but these people seem to be few and far between so the rose among the thorns is hard to find. What jobs are in your Top 10? Perhaps blogosphere nerd comes to mind?

Shanghai Ink

Okay people, today we come clean and will dish the dirt about ourselves. There has been a secret that we have kept to ourselves (okay some people know but work with me) that is to be revealed to everyone (Magic’s Greatest Secrets Finally Revealed). This may change your perception of who we are or it may not have any impact on you whatsoever, it’s up to you. In society we judge others, it’s just human nature and it is something that happens every day whether we like to admit it or not. So today, we open ourselves up to be judged (but be gentle).

It has been a long time in the making but as we are headed down what will be our final months living in China we have discussed what we can have to remind us of our time abroad (besides the persistent hacking cough, the tacky souvenirs and this strange desire to bump into people). For me, this scenario of living in a foreign country was not something I had ever considered in the past. It was a huge change for me; it was a risk and was something that was definitely outside of my comfort zone. Since that decision to accept this opportunity, I have continued to do things that are not what would be considered normal for me. Nothing that would be considered a criminal act (in Alabama) or outside my moral code but just not normal for life in the US. Hence this blog post (get to the point already). So we decided on something that again, is not ordinary for us. I don’t know that I have to expand more on that…as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.

So now you know, Warren and Jacob have tattoos. Just kidding, they don’t get theirs until next month (again, kidding). Tammy and I had discussed getting a tattoo many months ago and she dove right in because she needed to have it before we went to Thailand. Not really needed but if you don’t have it, you can’t show it off so wanted is probably a better term. You don’t want to be out in the sun right after getting a tattoo or else you can lose some of the color. So, we found a place in Shanghai to get the tattoo done, she found a good design and had it done right away (this was in October, plenty of time before the sun exposure in Thailand). Me, I was a little more cautious and held off for many months before finally committing to a design and getting the tattoo done. You want to be sure that we have the right look because it is on you and it’s not coming off with Clorox (unless it’s the Chinese “copy” Clorox). The first design that they sent to me wasn’t really me (and Tammy didn’t like it either). So I was delayed due to getting the right design and then finding the time to go. We’ve held off saying anything because it would be better to reveal it all at once rather than give updates (the shock factor is better this way).

I guess I should give some background to getting a tattoo, if you’ve watched Miami Ink, it’s a little different than what you see on TV (sorry to burst the bubble but reality tv isn’t reality, unless it’s Survivor, now that’s real….not.). The first time I went into the shop to start the work on a design, it was a little intense. Keep in mind that Tammy and the kids went with me to the shop (and the winner for Parents of the Year goes to…..). The shop is tucked away in a nice area of the city and as soon as you walked up the stairs you knew you weren’t in an ordinary shop. The buzzing sound of the tattoo guns going and they had music blaring. I believe the band was Gwar or something like that (an alternative metal band that makes Metallica look like the Carpenters). It was a little intimidating to say the least. The main artist for Shanghai Tattoo is a small (do I have to say that) Chinese woman with multiple piercings (nose, chin, ear shotgun holes things), a green mohawk hairdo and several tattoos herself (duh). She wears baggy camouflage pants and these metal studded boots that look like they came out of some odd sadomasochist designer shop (she actually gets them from Spain and just to clarify that remark I know because she was talking about them, it’s not because I have a pair). When you see her photos on the website http://www.shanghaitattoo.com/ you think that perhaps she may be a little crazy but she is actually a very likeable and friendly person that just happens to like to tattoo people and marches to her own drummer (again, we judge people every day and sometimes we are surprised when we look beyond the obvious). She has done tattoos for many Westerners and that is what makes a difference to me when selecting a tattoo shop. Obviously there is concern about a sanitary environment (for obvious reasons) and since she had done work with foreigners, she understood this need for clean that comes from the Western mind. There are two Chinese that also work at the shop, one apprentice and one other artist. Cheng Yong is the artists that did both my tattoo and Tammy’s tattoo. The “front man” for the shop is Dylan (an Irishman), he helps people prepare their tattoo and works through their ideas on what they want. He worked with their apprentice to draw out where I wanted the design and then talked with me about what I was looking for. It’s tough to describe accurately what you want so you say everything you can think of, show them a design you like and hope for the best. Oh, and I shouldn’t forget to state that they ask for a pretty hefty down payment for the design (they want to ensure that you don’t take their artwork to another studio). In this case, the first design was much more artsy-fartsy than I was expecting. For some, this would be a terrific tattoo but for me…not so much.

Now, again unlike Miami Ink, it was weeks before they sent me the first draft and I had to tell them I didn’t like it so it was another several weeks trying to work out a second design. The second design was much more “me” (what does that mean anyhow?) and it was time to commit to getting it done which turned out to be this past weekend. We spent time in the city before I got turned into a human pincushion (insert the buzzing sound of the tattoo ink gun here). My appointment was at 12:30 and they expected that it would take about 6 hours to get my ink (you notice how I have switched into the tattoo lingo here). 6 hours!!! Aiya!!! Not really the way you want to spend your day. But I had committed to it there was no way out. I was ticketed on the last train back to Suzhou while Tammy and the boys took an afternoon train home (no need to have the kids sit there and watch me cry).

In the tattoo world there is a design called a half sleeve (again demonstrating my vast tattoo knowledge) which covers your upper arm and shoulder. This isn’t exactly what I wanted but when he covered my arm with the print, it was going to be pretty darned close to what I would get. I tried to keep the size small so it would be covered with a standard short sleeved t-shirt but it seems that it wasn’t going to happen that way. “You’ll lose the detail” is what I was told. Well, okay but it is a bit big isn’t it? “No, it’s the size you need.” So he traces the outline of the design on paper (while I sit back on the couch and think of things I would rather be doing like talking to my insurance agent (more on that coming)) and when he is done he uses Speed Stick to cover my arm. Okay, maybe it wasn’t Speed Stick (byyyyy Mennen) but it sure looked like it. I was you basic wide, “deodorant” green stick that he rubbed on my arm and then placed the paper over it, being very careful to get things centered (this transfers the design, much like Silly Putty). Of course, Tammy is there to oversee the operation and provide her nod of approval (in between her giggles about how it was going to hurt).

With the design on my arm it was time for the chair. My tattoo artist was probably thinking to himself “Great, I have to tattoo a chicken wing.” I should the other foreigners in the shop getting tattoos. One was getting a dragon design that went from his shoulder to his knee, 11 sittings to get the design done (11!!!!). The other guy (Filipino) was getting a design on the right side of his stomach, ouch! I take my seat in the chair facing the guy starting session #1 of his dragon where she was doing the tattoo on his side and basically working between the belly button to the backbone, all nice and tender areas where needles are not supposed to be. I would watch his face as she worked and he would grimace (and not the loveable McDonald’s Grimace) and his legs and toes would jerk when she hit another patch of sensitive skin. Now that was pain! Just to add to the mystique here, the guy for whatever reason was wearing his boxer-briefs for the tattooing. I’m still not sure why but I have to say that I liked his purple Bjorn Borg undies (seriously, I think the name on the band was Bjorn Borg). The other guy was next to me and I could hear him with his grunts of pain so I knew it was going to be a long day. Based on the location of their tattoos and where mine was, I couldn’t even make a face because I was a wimp compared to what these guys were doing.

They actually go to great lengths to prepare everything like a dental office. The tools are on a stainless steel tray with the lovely blue paper underneath the tools and everything is wrapped in plastic that I am going to touch. They wear gloves when they work to protect themselves more than you. So once the design is on your arm, he puts the printout on the table for reference and begins to setup to do the outline. The buzzing starts and you see the needle move and it’s all over. He sticks you and you think, “Okay, that’s not so bad” but then you recognize that he is tracing over the outline and needs to continue. Buzzzz. “Okay, that’s getting worse”…buzzzz…”When is it going to be over?” Then he stops. He wipes your arm quickly, dips for more ink and it starts again. Buzzzz for between 4-8 seconds and then stop, wipe, dip and buzzzz. Sometimes he runs for longer periods as he works in a specific area and you think that the additional 2 seconds are too much, then it stops. Periodically he stops, pulls out a towel, wets it and wipes down your arm to take a look; that feels really good. You forget for a moment that he has only finished a small section and you’ve been in the chair for only 15 minutes of the 6 hours. For the outline, he uses a single, small needle to draw the outline and do all of the detail work. Tammy and the boys went to lunch and came back to see how it was going after about 90 minutes. The boys wanted to see if I was crying but they were disappointed. There were times when it was definitely intense but it wasn’t overwhelming pain (probably because after a short time your body is releasing endorphins and the pain is a little less intense than when it started and your body is going “What the heck are you doing? Run you fool!” Since this tattoo wrapped around my arm, it meant that the tricep area was getting stuck as well as the side and partial bicep. That’s when it really hurt, the bicep and then again when he was drawing the head section just above the armpit. Nice tender areas where needles aren’t supposed to go. These were the areas where he was drawing a little blood as he worked (nice image isn’t it?). The outline and detail work took almost 3 hours. Then it was all about the shading of the artwork. This is when it got worse. He pulls out a 4-5 needle tattoo gun and continues to work to get the shading done around the dragon. I should point out that he is still working with the black ink and so he is shading areas to make various shades of gray. Buzzzzrubbbb, buzzzzrubbbb as he works the needle all around the arm.

What am I doing while all this work is going on (besides the obvious trying to focus on something other than my arm)? I am watching the purple undies guy and then listening to people come into the shop to discuss what they want for a tat (again, tattoo jargon). There was a woman and her daughter that came in to get two piercings in her upper ear. This was done by a doctor that stopped in for 90 minutes to handle the piercings. Then a girl came in to get her nose pierced, she had a little issue and had to sit on the couch for 15 minutes to rest from the experience. Then he pocketed his cash for the day and left. Other than that, listening to the music and trying to get lost in my own thoughts (you don’t want to go there) I was just trying to pass the time and forget that a Chinese man was assaulting me.

Anyhow, back to the design selection, when I selected the design I asked for not so much detail work and background but that was obviously lost in the Chinese translation (or he said, “too bad for you chicken wing boy”) and he was working hard on getting this right. He would work for 30 minutes, ask me to stand, he would stand back and look and then it was back to the chair! Are you done yet? My appointment was at 12:30 and it took him until around 5:30 before he was finished with this part of the design and all he had left was the color. I should point out that my train left for Suzhou at 8:23 and I was probably 30 minutes from the train station if I hit the subway stops just right so I was starting to get a little worried as time was winding down. My original thought of leaving after 6 hours was fading fast. Once again, here comes the 4-5 barb needle gun (I don’t know if it was 4 or 5 since it was moving too fast for me to know for sure) buzzzzrubbbb (the official sound for the tattoo gun if you didn’t realize it by now). First the red ink, each time he stopped to wipe down my arm I would look at my watch and wonder if I would make the train, how could I ask for another train, what street grate is the most comfortable and where were the best garbage cans for a good dining experience. The other two guys were completed with their design work (the one guy for the day, he would be back the next day to continue) so it was just me in the shop. The color actually went by quite quickly by comparison, he added in two yellow colors, some green and then touched up with some white to finish off the design. When he was close to done a Chinese young couple came into the shop and he wanted a tattoo on his back that was XX (yep, XX). It was small and I thought kind of funny. It was located a little to the center of the shoulder blade. I have no idea why he wanted this but again, who was I to judge. He was probably wondering why this skinny Westerner was getting a dragon. It was tough to tell how the final product would look at times because in many areas of my arm when he hit me with this gun, I would bleed so the yellow color was diffused by the red and I was wondering what it would look like. My dragon has bloodshot eyes, what is he stoned? But as he continued, the blood faded and the color of the design came through. When he was finally finished he asked me to take a look in the mirror. I told him “feichang xihuan” (very much like it), he laughed (again, ruining my confidence in my Chinese skills). He took some photos for the shop and then covered my arm with a medical cream to prevent infection and wrapped my arm in plastic wrap (to prevent the design from sticking to my clothes). I headed out by about 7:20 and pulled out my directions for the Metro (subway) and put it in high gear to get to the train station. I made the mistake of trying to lean on the wall of the subway and recognized immediately that I should remember the tattoo (not so smart). I made it with about 20 minutes to spare so there wasn’t even time for a McDonald’s break, it was get on the train and get home. The soreness remained for several days as I had to treat the arm with ointment and cover it with plastic wrap but now I'm ready to unveil it to the world so go ahead and judge away.

Cambodia ~ Wats part 2

Day 2 of our Angkor Wat backpacking adventure started a bit later than the first day. We were very tired from the day prior so we decided to have our guide pick us up at 1030am. We headed out to do the small tour circuit, see the country side, and the Land Mine Museum.

The temples that we saw this day were smaller than that of Angkor Wat but just as impressive. I could not stop thinking of the work that had gone in to creating these temples (and the egos the kings of the time had to think they had to keep up with the Jones'). The first temple was Preah Khan, built in the late 12th century. This temple originally served as a monastery and school for over 1000 monks.

The next stop was Neak Pean. This area was very interesting as the center "island" is surrounded by water (only in the rainy season) with a wall around the moat. We could walk around the on the moat wall and see the individual points with the different areas of worship. Interesting area inside, but the most memorable part was as we were walking out towards the driver there was a Cambodian man undressing to "shower" in the well on the area near the road. He wrapped his krama around his waist and dropped his drawers. MA and I proceeded quickly once we started to see this as we did not need to see that!

After the show we proceeded to Ta Som. This is another temple in the Bayon design as many of the towers have faces carved. In the rear of the area is a another example of how nature has grown around the walls, there is a huge tree that has grown up (a great photo op!).

The last temple of the day/circuit that we visited was the Banteay Srey. Built in the late 10th century by King Rajendravarman. This temple is loosely translated into "citadel of the women" and is quite different from the others that we had seen. The temple is rather small in comparison and is also made of pink sandstone.

Banteay Srey was discovered in 1914 by the French and a team of archaeologists. It is about 40km from Siem Reap but worth the extra money for the drive. The detailed carvings on the walls are some of the prettiest that we saw during our stay in Siem Reap.

On our way to Banteay Srey we drove through the countryside. We saw farmland, rice fields, and many, many animals. The most interesting one was on his way to the market ~ on the back of a moto bike....

Yes my friends, that is a pig on the back of the moto bike. We saw many things that made us thankful for where we live and how we are able to have things to make life comfortable.

After Banteay Srey we were fortunate to have the opportunity to visit the Cambodian Land Mine Museum. I say fortunate because many people do not visit this museum as it is very far from Siem Reap. It is also a reality check to see what the people of this region went through during the Vietnam War. The museum was very moving for us, to see the destruction and the lives that the war ultimately destroyed. Check out this link for more info on the museum. I remember Princess Diana doing work for this organization and before I would shrug it off and not think anything of it. However after visiting the site and seeing the people I highly recommend reading and researching the cause. We were also interested to see one of the CNN Heros of 2010 plays an important part in the museum and the organization. The museum was very enlightening, the three of us left with a heavy heart.

Our next stop was a boat tour out to a "floating village". Yes, it was a boat (an 8 seater with a man on the bow with a stick and a very old (ancient) motor engine). As we began the "short" trip to the floating village the waves picked up and a light drizzle began. As we arrived on the floating village the light drizzle turned into a full fledged thunderstorm with lighting. Did I mention that we were on the largest lake in South East Asia and were on a floating village... One of our group members has a small phobia of thunderstorms (we did not learn this until we saw the weather change ~ lucky us!!!) She did quite well with all things considered. The storm had not yet stopped when our tour guide instructed us to get on the boat (I think we need a bigger boat) for the long and wet ride back to the dock. It was pitch black dark when we finally arrived back on dry (not really) land about 3 hours later than what we had originally planned. Did I mention this is the dry season in Cambodia?

After all that we had done on the 2nd day it was time for the three of us to head back to the hotel for some much needed rest, food, and beverage. We also needed to prepare for the next day as it was time to check out of the ghetto and into the Taj Mahal!

Stay tuned for part 3 of our excursion through Cambodia!

Cambodia ~ Wats part 1

A few weeks ago, two girlfriends and I visited Siem Reap, Cambodia. You ask, "Siem Reap? What in the world is in Siem Reap and why would you want to visit Cambodia?" When we were in the US there were many times that we saw on National Geographic or Discovery channel programs on the area of Angkor Wat. So since were are in Asia and when else would we be able to visit the ancient ruins of Angkor Wat. And since chances were slim (to none) that Scott and I would be able to go with the kids when the opportunity to go with friends I jumped at the chance. The entire trip was planned, scheduled, and paid for just the week before we left so there was no time for "planning" and doing a lot of research ahead of time. So the three of us just packed our bags (for backpacking ~ see Scott's previous posts) and away we went.

We arrived late on the first day and immediately upon checking into our first hotel we booked a tour guide and driver for the next day. We asked to be picked up early so we could get out and see as much as possible. We walked to pub street and the night market to get a bite to eat and to "window shop" to check out the local wares.

The next morning we were up early, as the tour guide was going to pick us up at 830am. When the guide arrived at the hotel he informed us that it would be a busy day. First we had to stop and purchase our 3 day passes to visit the Angkor Archaeological Park which encompasses approximately 390 square miles. Needless to say we packed in as much as we could be could not come close to seeing all there was to see in the area.

We proceeded to head into the main area at Angkor Wat. All I can say is WOW! All the programs that we saw on tv could not come close to the magnitude of this wat. We were all very surprised at the refurbish work that was being done. However since this area is over 1000 years old upkeep would have to be ongoing.

As we walked with our guide through the temple (wat) one can not begin to imagine how the people made this incredible and magnificent temple. The aspara carvings on the walls to ward off evil gods and the amazing artwork carved into other walls in hallways was impressive. The huge 65 meter lotus like towers were a beauty that I have never seen before. Walking around the 1km square, I had a difficult time not tripping over my feet because I kept staring in complete awe at the massive temple walls. It's very difficult to write how impressive this area was, as words cannot come close to describing what it was like. Between the 3 of us, we took about 700 pictures of this area alone.

After leaving Angkor Wat, we took a short ride to Bayon. Bayon is famous for its 1000 faces. Here there are 37 standing towers, mostly with four carved faces. Rumor has it that King Jayavarman VII had the faces carved to keep an eye on the people of the kingdom.

This temple also is said to have some roots in the Chinese culture. We were quite surprised to see how many tour groups seemed to be from "home". We also noticed that even though we were in Cambodia the tour groups forgot they were not in their home country (spitting, hacking, pushing, no space, etc...) It was not until we had spent some more time that the tour groups left (as they are in such a hurry to see 'everything' yet not see anything). It was surprising to us that we were almost the only ones there and it was quite peaceful to wander around and see the ins and outs of this wat.

The third temple of the day had some link to American pop culture ~ Ta Prohm. This was where the famous Angelina Jolie movie "Lara Croft, Tomb Raider" was partially filmed. This temple is also under refurbishment with cranes and scaffolding around. This temple was my favorite of the day with the massive fig and silk cotton trees growing up through the towers and corridors.

This temple was also interesting as you could see the progress that the government has been doing to upgrade the area. Outside the main temple area there were huge stones with numbers and letters listed on them. We asked the tour guide and he confirmed that the letters were where the stone belongs and the number was the chronological order that they should be replaced.

After these three wats, we were all very tired and so very hot. The temperature was a balmy 35C (95F) with very high humidity. It felt like August in Suzhou. We headed back to the hotel then to Pub Street for dinner and a cool drink. We scheduled the tour guide and driver to take us out again the next day to do the small tour circuit to include the countryside and the land museum.

Stay tuned for part 2 of the temple tour.....