The Penthouse

Our new apartment has 4-bedrooms, a study, a large open area and a laundry room that is 250 sq meters in size (it’s bigger than our house). It’s huge! It’s on the top floor of the apartment complex and it has two levels (so we’re the Drummonds, up in the penthouse with two floors. What? You don’t know who the Drummonds are? What you talking ‘bout Willis? If you still don’t get the reference, either I’m too old or you’re too young and I’m opting for the latter.) It takes some getting used to, having two levels but over time, I am sure we will become accustomed to the changes. It is an older apartment complex (for here, older could mean between 5 and 10 years) but we’re not sure when the complex was established and you can’t really tell from the apartment. The Chateau Regency, where we originally lived was less than 10 years old but based on the appearance and how things were breaking down; you would’ve thought it was much, much older. We gave up some of the “newness” of the Horizon complex and some of the benefits from that but we were able to find a place that was cheaper by a large amount and where we could still be less than cramped. After all, we had less than 10 days to get out so we’re very lucky to have found this place.

Thus far the landlady seems very nice. She was here when we moved in and came back to watch them install a new AC unit in Jacob’s bedroom. That was interesting to watch. The AC units have an interior and exterior component. The interior is a rectangular unit that hangs on the wall. The exterior unit is a small box (maybe 70 cm x 50cm x 30 cm) that goes outside (like an AC unit at home for central air). We’re on the 9th floor so placing the exterior unit outside is a little different. They have to go out the window, remove the old unit and put the new unit in place. The guy uses a rope for a harness and ties himself off to the framework for the AC units on the outside of the building. It’s a little dicey to watch, it’s not like he is using a safety harness like we would see back home, it’s a self-made rope harness. It looks like something that Bear Grylls would use to cross a ravine in Man vs. Wild. I also wouldn’t trust my life to the framework, I mean he has about 4’ of rope between him and the harness, he could build up just enough momentum if he slipped for the framework to get pulled off the building where the rope is attached and down he goes (it’s not the fall that kills you…). They know what they are doing (I guess) but it’s not for me, that’s for sure. It didn’t take them long to replace it and get the new unit running (no accidents). After it was changed out, they talked to Warren about the controls (totally ignoring me, what am I chopped liver…I guess they’ve heard about my Chinese language skills). He seemed to understand and got the basics but they are a dozen buttons on the remote. How many do you really need? On/off, temp up/down, heat/cool/fan….anything else? Anyhow, it is what it is and we’re ready to use it when the weather will require a change.

For many of the other items in the house, I took photos of the controls and had to get with the kids from work to provide the translations. They gave me the Pinyin spelling (which is the pronounciation of the character) and I took it home and looked it up to find the real words. Unfortunately, some of the literal translation doesn’t work so well and needs some additional translating. Strong Wash, Strong Dry, Quick Wash, Quick Dry are okay but others like Quick Spin, I don’t know if this is a rinse cycle or a drying cycle (since this is a washer/dryer combination). What’s the difference between the Strong Wash and the Strong Quick Wash, I don’t know. I guess we’ll have to try it and find out.

The complex we live in now has many more Chinese than Horizon and it shows in several different ways. First, in the building opposite us there is a guy that plays a Chinese wind instrument that makes it sound like we are in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. He plays it very often and it echoes around the buildings. I have to admit it’s not super annoying and a little soothing but it’s not something we are used to hearing all of the time. He is pretty good too but I am surprised at how often he plays it. Out in front there is a blue pajama party every morning where the ladies (dressed in their light blue jam-jams) perform Tai Chi, sometimes with swords. Nothing gets you moving faster than an old lady with a sword in her hand (I’ll show you whipper-snappers). In the evening, a group made of mostly of women will meet out in front of the marketplace in the complex to dance. It’s an odd line dance type thing but it is interesting to see. At first I thought it was a special night or something; but they seem to do it quite regularly. Of course the third thing is that there are a lot more Chinese living in the complex. Since the apartments are cheaper, they are in the price range of more of the locals. It isn’t a problem and actually is a little more fun to watch the people here.

We gave up the garbage disposal (bummer) and there are not as many outlets in the apartment but otherwise, we’re doing okay in the new place. We also gave up the code entry door to one where we have to carry a key (that’s so 80’s) but it could be worse. We can still get to our favorite restaurants and walk to the same places as we did before. Some are closer, others are a little farther away but it’s all good. We have a small view of the lake so at least we’re not just stuck staring at another building. So, there you have it in a very short summary (you don’t have to thank me), our new penthouse. So you knock on the door (the doorbell plays Oh Suzanna, now that’s annoying) to the penthouse don’t expect to see Mrs. Garrett (back to the Different Strokes reference again)…it’s just us.

Get out there

Okay folks! It’s that time of year where you need to step it up and perform your civic duty as a US Citizen. Vote! Get out there and be heard. Hopefully, you are informed about the candidates you will choose (if not, you should probably stay home since you can do more harm than good) and the ballot initiatives that you will be voting on. We take this for granted but it is something that we should embrace. If you don’t like the direction you see the school board, county judge, governor, etc. is headed, go and let them know. You don’t get this option everywhere around the world (like somewhere we all know). In the US, we have the opportunity to make a difference and unfortunately many people throw that away (in some cases some do it even when they vote...oops!). I won’t get on my soapbox (unless you beg) and tell you who to vote for. Everyone has their own reasons for voting for a person so just be informed (meaning educated, look for the cake and not the frosting if you understand my meaning) and vote. Everyone is saying this may be the most important election ever but we should all vote like each election is the most important one (the most important game is the next one).

It’s too bad that we can’t vote out a football coach. Wade, thanks for the memories pal but you’ve got to go. My Cowboys are in shambles. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. The best part is that I don’t have to watch them go out and not compete each week. Winning is always a good thing but when they don’t compete and begin to mail it in….that’s when I can’t stand watching. I’ve been through the 1-15 season before but at least then it was obvious that they were rebuilding. This year, a talented team that was picked to be one of the best….something has to be done. Wade, bring me your torch….the tribe has spoken.

In the house

Technically it is an apartment but you know what we mean. After all of the headaches and consternation over the past 10 days, we have moved into a new apartment at Landmark Skylight. By new, I mean new to us because it is definitely not a new place. However, all-in-all, things could be much worse and we are thankful to have a roof over our heads.

This has been my third move since arriving in Suzhou. First it was at the Chateau Regency. There I lived in three different units, one by myself and then two after the family arrived. It wasn’t a bad place but much of the luster was lost when the people working there started to depart. Much of the experience there depended on how much you were willing to adapt to the constantly changing environment and uncertainty of what would happen tomorrow. We stayed for several months before asking for the option to leave (the revolving door of prostitutes in the area sealed the deal). Then we moved into Horizon. Our landlady seemed very nice until the day we signed the contract. From that moment, it was a struggle to get anything fixed in the apartment. The final straw came with the air conditioner unit that would leak gallons of water (sorry, liters) a day from the ceiling. It was causing issues (although the drip bucket on the floor really went well with our “ourdoor living” motif) and she didn’t want to get it fixed. When all was said and done (and I’ve edited myself here to stop with the long-winded explanation of the issue…hey, no need to thank me) it was a relatively easy fix but it took several months and several dozen AC guys to “look at the problem” before it was fixed. [This seems to be a Chinese thing, whenever there is a problem they always go to the extreme as the solution. There is no logical process to the problem solving, it’s jump to a conclusion and ride it out.] And now, here we are in Landmark Skylight. We hope this will be the last move we have to make in China but many other Expats move every year so you can never say never.

We packed the stuff ourselves. We had them drop off 15 boxes early in the week and each night we would try to fill a couple of boxes. Clothes are easy; it’s all the breakables that create the challenge. We’re not professionals and didn’t have all the paper and stuff used to place between places, bowls, glasses, etc. So we had to improvise. We placed underwear between the plates and bowls to provide the cushion and prevent the breakage. Then it was just a matter of getting the glasses wrapped up. Okay, I’m joking, we didn’t use underwear to keep the plate separated. After all everyone knows that you use underwear to wrap up the utensils, you use socks for the glasses (still joking!). Anyhow, we filled all of our suitcases plus the 15 boxes and still had some left over that we used bags and other things we had around to load. The biggest concern we had was our framed artwork.

The “3 guys and a truck” moving company showed up a little later than planned. The cops were called while they were trying to enter the complex so we’re not sure what happened there but we were worried that the husband had once again decided to stir the pot. Thankfully the “situation” was resolved and when they reached the apartment we showed them all of the stuff (and it was a lot more than I would have imagined) and they began to move the boxes. None of the guys were young but they grabbed the boxes and began to load the elevator. They would take the stuff off of the elevator and then place them on a large sled (like the ones at Home Depot that you push around) and roll the boxes out of the complex to their truck (about 100 meters, maybe more on the winding walking paths). It was a mid-size flatbed truck with “raised sides” so it wasn’t the standard US moving van. They had tarps in case of rain (of course who knows how many holes were in those tarps) so they were ready although the weather was pretty darned nice for a move. They moved very fast and got the first load out within about 20 minutes. They made me package the pictures after they provided me with a box and some thin Styrofoam strips to cover the glass. It wasn’t what I would call “heavy duty protection”, I would’ve had more protection if I wrapped the pictures in a paper towel (or perhaps my underwear). At least they made an effort. I actually used the stuff and placed pillows around the pictures since the box was way too big for the pictures. Tammy and our real estate agent went over to the new apartment to meet with the landlady while Jacob and I stayed put to watch them pack (and by watch I mean Jacob was sprawled out on the couch playing his Nintendo DS). Warren was at band practice (he was the lucky one) at school so he escaped all the stuff. The guy came back into the apartment and said something to me but I didn’t know what he said. I asked Jacob to pay attention while he said it again (of course by pay attention Jacob actually moved slightly but didn’t take his eyes off the screen). He was telling us that the truck had taken the first load over and he would take everything down to the first floor and wait for them. I didn’t figure this out, Jacob told me what he said (which makes it even more annoying that I’ve been taking these Chinese classes for over a year now and still can’t get it. I’ve know much more useful things like how to ask to have my hair dyed at the beauty salon…sheesh! This is why I don’t speak much Chinese, I’m afraid they’ll ask me something and I’ll tell them that I like their new hairdo.). At about that time, in comes the satellite guy to take our box to the new place. I would tell you how he had it hooked up but you wouldn’t believe me anyhow (there goes Scott embellishing another China experience again). It only took about 90 minutes to get all of the stuff out. I was surprised, they moved very fast and didn’t break anything despite our fears (you see, the underwear worked, and you thought I was crazy!). The most surprising thing is the cost. It was 150 RMB per truckload of stuff. 150 RMB! For those keeping score at home, that’s about $22. It seems like a lot of work for a very little bit of money but it’s what they do. The more they move, the more they make. Come back later and I’ll tell you more about the new place.

Bust a Move

This time last year, we completed our search for a new apartment where we could spread out and be around more families. The grass hasn’t always been greener in the apartment but we didn’t expect that we would never encounter problems when we moved out of the Chateau. We moved into our apartment at Horizon Resorts in October of last year. With a one year lease ending soon, we had been talking with our agent about extending the lease for the remainder of my contract. Up until recently, we expected to have the extension (if you read carefully, you should know what is coming next). We found out last Thursday (yes, that is correct Thursday, October 21) that we are out on our butts at the end of the month. WHAT!?!?!?

It turns out that our landlord is in the midst of a divorce and unfortunately for us, we are collateral damage. Her husband (it’s always the husband’s fault isn’t it?) wants his fair share of the assets (they own 10 different apartments in Suzhou) and the only way that he could get that was to go through the courts for the cash settlement of the assets. At first, it was a question of the courts to decide but we would be granted a 1 month extension to see what would happen. If the apartment were to be sold, we would have to be out at the end of November. However, it seems that this isn’t acceptable and therefore the apartment will go up for auction much sooner. Due to this, there will be a new owner and a lot of uncertainty. The one certain thing is that we cannot be in the apartment when it goes up for auction. Did I mention that we found this out on Thursday (9 days before the end of the month)? Tammy had already been doing some preliminary apartment looks just in case something would happen but she was unable to find anything suitable in our price range (and by suitable I mean clean and in decent condition).

So Thursday we immediately raised the stress level to orange. At 7:00, we met with our realtor/agent and took a look at two of the “better” apartments from the previous lot that Tammy had viewed. One needed a lot of work, the fridge had not been used in some time and they had closed it without airing it out. When you opened it, you were immediately sorry you did (a new fridge was the only option). There were other issues as well so the apartment wasn’t really on the list. The second apartment we looked at we had seen in the past. We knew the pervious tenants and it had been open since the summer. They had painted it and it was in good condition. Both apartments were in Horizon so we didn’t have to move far so that was a good thing. Our agent contacted the second landlord on Friday but it seemed that someone else also looked at the apartment as well and they wanted to increase their asking price. It was nice but I wasn’t going to get into a bidding war over the place (plus we found out the landlords were not as nice as advertised, sign the deal and they instantly turned into deaf, dumb and blind….see no tenants, hear no tenants, think no tenants). So, we were still were without anything and the countdown timer was rolling.

We had to expand beyond Horizon since it seemed that the prices here are higher than other areas (although I am not certain I know why). We first went to Bai Ling to look at 7 apartments there. Some were okay but only 2 made our list. The others had too many things that would need to be changed (one had a nice “theme” for the one bedroom, it was like little Timmy’s wild adventures. The ceiling light was a sun, there were glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling as well. One wall had fishies, one wall had aireoplanes, one wall had birds and the other wall was full of 3M sticky pads from the stuff that had been removed). Then it was on to Four Seasons to look at a duplex. This was a quaint (Tammy’s term) place, it was a two story apartment, not too small but not really big that actually had a small backyard (and by small I mean when I say it’s time to cut the grass you grab your scissors). Then we looked at one place at Landmark Skylight. This apartment was separated into two floors and actually had a lot of space, it was very nice so we had to make a choice. The most interesting thing is the prices for the apartments. There was a 3,000 RMB difference in price between the 250 sq. meter apartment at Landmark versus a 210 sq. meter apartment at Horizon. The smaller apartment at Horizon was more expensive than the larger apartment at Landmark (and yes, I wrote that correctly). Landmark is an older complex which probably plays into the price but still, that’s a lot of coin to pay for a newer place.

I really don’t like to apartment search (especially with such short notice) but we hope we get a shot at the right place. Now, we are in the offer and wait mode to see what comes of the offers we have put on the apartments. When they give you a price, it is the same as the US. It’s the rental cost without any of the extras. Water, gas, electricity, telephone, internet, etc. are all additional costs that have to be negotiated into the contract. Here, we try to negotiate all of the costs to be paid by the landlord since it takes all of that extra stuff away from us and makes it one check (one call does it all) to track every month.

Now the story gets even more interesting. Divorces in China are just as brutal as the ones in the US. Tuesday, the husband of our landlady “stopped by” (and by stopped by I mean he attempted to break into the apartment by picking the lock) to see the apartment. He convinced one of the people from the management office to help him to get into the apartment (with a 100 RMB bribe). Tammy was just out of the shower and didn’t hear the doorbell so she was surprised when she found these two at the front door trying to pick the lock. She didn’t know who the guy was but assumed he was there to look at the apartment (potential buyer) since there was another person that was there earlier. So in he comes and begins the third degree on Tammy, he wants to see the contract/lease, how much do we pay, etc. She calls our agent and he talks to her on the phone. Tammy calls me and lets me know what is happening. This fool is in the apartment and refuses to leave until he gets the contract. We are under no obligation to show it to him since his name isn’t on it and we don’t know who the hell he is so she tells him no. He continues to ask how much we pay, etc. I go to the people at work and ask for help to get him out. They contact Sammi (our agent) and she already knows. So I call Tammy and ask to speak with the guy. I tell him he should leave and he claims not to speak English (this really fired me up because I knew he could understand me), so I start raising my voice and indicate to him that he should leave because he was asked to leave by Tammy. He listens and hands the phone back to Tammy. Did I mention that I am in the front office at work cursing over the phone at this idiot? I mean, here he is in my apartment refusing to leave and giving my wife the third degree…what would you do? I ask to get a taxi to go home and see what is happening. Sammi is on her way to the apartment to assist. Meanwhile, Tammy is held back from meetings at the school because she can’t leave with this man sitting on the couch (like a small child, I’m going to hold my breath until you give in and give me what I want).

When I arrive at the apartment, there are 5 Chinese in the apartment including the fool and of course Tammy. One security guy from the complex, two people from the real estate agent’s office and a others that I don’t know. It was surreal. I ask why they have to deal with this problem in our apartment; it’s between him and his wife. It turns out that he has called the police and we are waiting for them to arrive. When they arrive, he speaks with them and with my limited Chinese I only understood that he wanted the contract for the apartment. He claims that his wife told him the apartment was empty and he wants to see the contract to know that we are okay to be here (I call BS!!!). So we get asked for our passports by the police and then after they take the information, everyone slowly goes into the hallway. The landlady is contacted and is convinced to provide the contract to her soon to be ex-husband (gee, I wonder what went wrong with this loving couple?). We wait for another 20 minutes and someone shows up with the contract. He comes back and apologizes (like I give a rats butt!) and says he will not be back (the anti-Arnold). The man from the realtors office tells us that his wife made a false claim to the courts and the contract will help him in court. I tell them that I hope he gets what he deserves (it’s too bad in cases like this that good old American sarcasm is lost on the Chinese because he didn’t get the meaning). Then, poof, it’s all over. After 2 hours of this garbage, things settle back down I guess but many questions remain. Okay, now that the contract has been looked at, is he coming back on the 1st to be sure we are gone? When can we move into the new place?

It still boggles my mind that he actually came into the apartment and refused to leave. What would’ve happened had he done this to the kids? I don’t think he understood our anger but he and everyone else knew that we were unhappy. I think that if they didn’t know some Laowai swear words, they should know a few by now. Back home, he probably could’ve been prosecuted for trespassing (he really had no legal right to the place that I know of) or someone could’ve busted a cap in his butt. This is some crazy stuff people. The old adage, money is the root of all evil seems to fit the bill. Stay tuned, more to come on this situation as the week progresses.

The Wedding Singer

I have mentioned before about walking along the lake and seeing the wedding parties and all of the photos being taken of the bride and groom. It’s an odd sight and because the photos are taken with what we (Westerners) would call typical wedding attire, they don’t draw too much interest from us except just to people watch. Watch how the bride and groom walk separately from area to area to get the photos taken. She is usually with her family and he is with his friends, you would expect a little more intimacy between the two but you just don’t see it. Anyhow, one of the kids at work was getting married and I asked him questions about the wedding and I found out some very interesting things regarding the weddings in China. What I see in Suzhou is not a traditional wedding. Ocean (that is his English name) happened to have videos of his brother’s wedding that he shared with me and that opened my eyes a little to what the traditional Chinese wedding is like.

First, they don’t wear white! For the Western weddings; white is a symbol of purity (even if it is the 2nd wedding, 3rd wedding, etc.). In China, white is worn for funerals (hmmm, wedding = death…..fill in your own comical observation here) and it is worn for those that want to embrace the Westerner style wedding, which is becoming more common especially in the bigger cities with larger Western populations. The Chinese wedding dress is red. The gown, the veil, the whole thing is a deep red color. At first glance you say “WOW! That is one red dress!” but after you get used to it, it is actually not much different than a white wedding dress. It has a similar style to it (at least to my untrained, non-metrosexual male eye) but just using red rather than white cloth.

Second, you don’t see the groom in a tuxedo. The groom was in a suit that may have been passed down and that he clearly was not comfortable wearing. The knot on the tie was a little off and not so tight and the suit wasn’t buttoned. I don’t want this to sound judgmental, it’s an observation. The suit wasn’t tailored to fit and it was probably purchased off the rack. This would be no different than a suit that someone back home might wear to church (or a funeral…there I go again).

Third, the only two people dressed up were the bride and groom. Everyone else was wearing something clean but they weren’t all decked out for the wedding. You could not see any hint of groomsman or bridesmaids; it was the bride, the groom and everyone else. This is where it started to become clear to me how different we are. This wedding was out in the country and so there was no “big city” influences. These people worn nice clothes or what they had in the closet and no one was there to judge them on the fact that they showed up with jeans and a t-shirt. It wasn’t the clothes that they wore; it was the fact that they were there that made the difference. So much different from the US where the wedding has become less about the union between two people and more about the gowns, the tuxedos, the flowers, the catering, the location, the honeymoon spot, the guest registry, the gifts and on and on (if you didn’t know Tammy and I got married in Gatlinburg, TN, just the two of us. We thought it was the right decision for us but everyone has their own path to follow. We’ve been married for 16 years, so it’s really not all about the peripheral junk; it’s about the commitment you make to each other, for better or for worse. I’m not judging those who follow the “traditional route”, I’m just saying that for us, we made the right decision).

Fourth, the bride was removed from her house sitting in a chair with a hood over her head. I believe this was to signify the stealing of the daughter from her parents to start her new life. Once out of the house, her feet were not to touch the ground until they reached their new home. The people carrying her were family members I assume. All of the women in the family traveled in the same caravan (not a Dodge Caravan, the same group of cars) as the bride. Watching the video it was funny to see all of the people pile out of the small van that was behind the car with the bride. It was almost like a clown car at the circus, people just kept coming out.

Fifth, all of the groom’s belongings were packed up from his home and taken to his new home by the family. You see uncles, cousins, brothers (the one child policy was not for the entire nation, it was for those that lived in the big cities. Most of those in the country have multiple brothers and sisters). They load up the meager (by Western standards) possessions on trucks and haul them out to the new home.

Six, the entire family drives out to the new home of the couple to be married. The groom goes out with his stuff and the bride arrives later. When she arrives, the groom must pick her up out of the car (she doesn’t move to help him, she just sits there so he’s got to have a strong back or she had better be a small woman). He has to carry her while running around the car three times while being chased by a family member. I don’t remember why but this is what the video showed. Once he has made the laps around the car, he then carries her into the yard of their new home and puts her down. Watching the video, she didn’t smile or seem happy the entire time but perhaps it was nerves, he didn’t look too giddy either. Neither looked particularly comfortable but perhaps I don’t know body language that well.

Then I think the ceremony takes place although I can’t really tell. The audio is in Chinese (well duh!!!) so I don’t know what is being done or said through much of the remainder of the video but it is extremely interesting to watch. Other observations;
Each family member of the couple comes down and takes a seat in front of the couple. Again, the furniture here is just some old kitchen chairs but it’s obviously not about the show. As they sit down, they hand an envelope to a person near the chairs who makes a note and tucks the envelope away. This is money for the couple. The couple is standing there facing the chairs. As the family members sit down, the couple must kneel and bow three times. This is a sign of respect not only for the family member but for their ancestors as well. I don’t know how many people they had to bow to but I’m telling you it was a lot! Standing, kneeling, bowing, standing, kneeling, bowing, over and over again (it was like a Catholic mass x 100). Each time, sit, envelope, kneel, then on to the next one. This was a little surprising to me but I was glad that this was explained to me by Ocean. I could see the kneeling but understanding the reason behind it made it more interesting to me.

The next thing comes the celebration, which means the drinking (and I mean drinking). Now this is where perhaps it is more like a Western wedding. Where people sit at the tables is very important here, to be facing a certain direction is considered to be very bad so everything had to be thought out as to who sat at what table and which direction they faced. While they ate, the groom came around and served drinks to everyone. He had a bottle and a small cup (probably about 6-8 ounces could be held in the cup). He would serve the drink to a guest; they would down it (chug, chug, chug). He would refill the glass, they would down it (chug, chug, chug), he would refill it again although they would protest a little, they would down it. Now from this point, he could refill it again with some serious protesting from the guest who would down the drink again. After their long protest, he would serve them no more and move on to the next person. Sometimes it was wine, sometimes it was maltai (Chinese moonshine) but the maltai was served in a double shot glass. It was always at least 3 refills and sometimes it was much more than that. Usually the women had the wine and the men had the maltai, although I saw some men who had both. The Chinese aren’t really known for their ability to handle liquor but they seemed to do okay. What was most interesting here was that in some of the video we could see a grandfather clock in the background. The first drinks started to flow around 11:00am (that’s right, 11 in the morning). The next time we saw the clock with the drinks being served was 2:00, then 4:00, it was one large drinking party (a frat party that started in the early afternoon). The bride would also serve drinks but also she had another role. She would provide cigarettes to the men and then light their smoke. Why? I have no idea at all; it was just what it was. Even if the men didn’t smoke (and in China it seems that almost all men smoke for whatever reason), they would accept the cigarette. Cigarettes and booze at the wedding, it’s a pretty different concept.

Who was at the wedding? Family, friends, and of course big brother. Ocean was pointing out people and of note he pointed out the mayor of the town and the local party official. Of course, they had the distinguished seats. It was one of those things where they may not come but you should invite them (just because). He also pointed out that any local government officials, mayors, governors, etc. need to speak the local dialect and Mandarin. This is so they can communicate with the local people and be able to communicate with the government at the provincial and state level. If they cannot speak Mandarin, then they cannot be a government official. This actually makes some sense.

There was music at the wedding. At first it was a brass band that walked alongside the cars when they arrived near the home. It sounded like a funeral dirge (rim-shot) but I’m sure it was something traditional. They played for maybe 1 hour or so as far as I could tell. Then when the drinking and eating started, the “band” played. This was pretty comical. It was a girl on an electric keyboard set and two singers a man and a woman. It sounded so much like karaoke that it was funny. I thought at first that it what it was but then I saw the girl actually playing the keyboards (and she had the most bored, disinterested look I’ve ever seen from a “musician”, perhaps she was like the bridesmaid that could not find a man and this would constantly remind her of that). The best part was that the male singer wore a “wife beater” t-shirt, you know the one with no sleeves. Seriously, he wore a sleeveless t-shirt and performed at the wedding. Nothing could sum up the difference between the Western wedding and the Chinese wedding more than that. It really drove home the point that it wasn’t about the “sutff”, it was about the wedding. Is it about having the 500 guests and booking the prestigious location for the reception? Does having that mean that you love each other more than someone that goes to the Justice of the Peace? Will your wedding last longer if you get the $500 wedding cake as opposed to the $200 wedding cake? Again, these are my questions and perhaps I use them to justify my own cheap-ass wedding. I’m willing to admit that I’m a tightwad but I also know that for me, dealing with all of the “stuff” for a wedding just wasn’t my thing. I’m not judging those that have big weddings, everyone has their own road to travel. There is a wedding in my family that is now being planned for next summer (hopefully after reading this my invitation will not mysteriously be lost in the mail). I guess my advice would be to remember why you are getting married in the first place. Where you do it, how you do it is up to you but it should be about you and not about all of the other stuff.

Bowling in China

The other weekend, we went bowling. We had heard about a bowling alley near Dushu Lake so we looked up some information on the place. After all, we didn’t want to travel 30 minutes to a place that might have closed or if it was like 40 years old or something. My research online indicated that the place was very technically advanced and had 28 lanes for bowling so it sounded like a good place. It was out in the middle of nowhere but we decided to go anyhow (one of the disadvantages to not having a car, sometimes getting to a place is easy….it’s getting back home that is the problem). We took the 20 minute ride to the place and got to see a few new sights since it wasn’t a normal route for us. JiaFu Bowling is located in a “sports complex” which has a gym and other sporting activity courts all contained in one building. We walked in and found the bowling alley rather quickly since the place wasn’t crowded; we just hoped the bowling alley was open so we didn’t make the trip for nothing (you never can tell if the internet has all the correct information). It was open (a good sign) and we walked in and took a quick look around. It appeared to be like a bowling alley but there was something different that we noticed right away. We didn’t hear the sounds of pins being knocked down, there was no smell of popcorn and pizza (and of course that intriguing aroma that is the mixture of shoe spray and feet), it was rather quiet. It was a little darker than I expected and right away the décor seemed a bit odd but it is a bowling alley so it’s not like they should have a leather couch and high backed Queen Anne chairs and stuff (would you have any Grey Poupon?).

Behind the counter are 4 people working and we go over and indicate that we want to bowl. How many games? Um, one and we’ll see how that goes. How many people? Okay, pay now. Ummm, okay. So I pay the girl for 4 games. Then she gives me a receipt and points me to her immediate left. We go over to get shoes for bowling, which required that I show the receipt (even though he just saw me pay…see my post “It Must be the Shoes”). We had to provide sizes (which is always fun since they want the European sizes) and the kid behind the counter would look for us (after he puts on his protective mask and rubber gloves to handle our shoes. Eewww, foreigner foot odor.). BUT, in order for us to get the shoes, we had to give him our shoes. Really!?!? Okay, I guess (I’ll give you my new pair of Aasics for your lovely old two-tone slick-soled shoes…sucker!). So we tried on the shoes and once we had pairs that fit (of course, it took several pairs for Warren to find the right size), he gave me back the receipt and pointed us towards the bowling lanes. There around the corner of the counter is another employee who will get us to our lane and help us get the bowling balls (it wasn’t like it was located in a different building or something, it was 4 meters right in front of us). He looks at the receipt (of course) and shows us to our lane (today’s special is King Pao Chicken and it’s 2-for-1 beers until 7:00 pm). He asks us what ball weight we use and we tell him. He asks all of us, I guess assuming that we all want a different ball (do you understand the concept of sharing). It took a little more time after he gave us the balls for us to walk around on our own and try a few more since our fat, sausage fingers wouldn’t fit into the finger holes of many of these balls.

With a real good look at the bowling alley, I would have to say that it was a little less than “state-of-the-art” (and that’s being kind). It had 12 lanes (what happened to the other 16?), which seemed a little narrower than I remembered. The scorer’s keyboard was in Chinese so the employee had to help us enter our names (which we just entered our first initial to make life easy for him). There were screens over top of the lanes that indicated your score and would tell you what pins you knocked down and such, which was similar to what I am used to with the exception that here the screens were purple (I think that the brightness was put on the absolute lowest setting). They had small, odd shaped 60’s sofas (and I’m talking the “peace and love man” type sofas) that were located in such a way that you could not really even see your lane without leaning over to see. The entire place felt more like a bomb shelter than a bowling alley but it isn’t like this is a major sport for the Chinese (not like table tennis, don’t even get me started on that). The bowling balls were “Made in the USA”, oddly enough. I guess if a bowling ball was built in China eventually it would explode upon impact with the pins. There wasn’t an option for bumpers so there was no chance for the kids to cheat. There were about 4 other people in the place bowling when we arrived. One guy in a lane to our left seemed to be pretty good at it. I don’t know what he scored but he was at least bowling a good game. He was the closest and he was 2 lanes over, other than that, nobody (did I already say that).

So, we bowl. No warm up, no courtesy throws to check the lanes, no practice, just start bowling. Not much different about the bowling except to say that we are terrible. Despite our obvious lack of talent for the sport, we still got an audience of the bowling alley employees that would watch us bowl. It was like they were there to assist us but I’m not sure with what. They would smile when we got a strike or did well and seemed to look away when the ball went in the gutter. We tried not to notice but it was hard not to. For snacks at the alley (because Jacob’s favorite thing to do is say “I’m hungry” or “I’m thirsty” as soon as we get anywhere that might have food) there were chips, soda and beer. So the kids got their barbeque pork potato chips (you read that correctly) and a lemon drink. We completed one game and then had to walk back to the counter to pay for another round and then show the receipt again to the “ball boy” so he would let us continue to play.

While we were going through our second round, the place got more “crowded”. A young lady came in and got the lane next to us. We thought it would be interesting to see if they have any “lane etiquette” (that means, when you are in position to bowl, no one around you throws, first one up is the first one to bowl so you don’t break the concentration, if you don’t do this then a pox upon you). She was actually quite funny to watch as she didn’t have a ball but made the motions of bowling, (something like playing the air guitar but she was air bowling). We found it strange but thought that perhaps she was a good bowler and used this technique to mentally prepare for her moves (wax on, wax off). Unfortunately for her, once she actually put a bowling ball in her hand she had zero control over where it went. She was bad (not Michael Jackson bad, crappy bad, even worse than we were and that’s saying something). Another guy came in and he took the far lane. Nothing like seeing someone bowl with a cigarette in his mouth. Nothing gives you the impression of an athlete more than that. Neither of them showed any lane etiquette, no surprises there are witnessing the “road rules” around here. They would bowl quickly like it was speed bowling or something. It was interesting to watch. Usually they had two balls just so they didn’t have to wait for the ball to come back. As soon as the pins were reset, the next ball was on the way.

So on the one hand, it was bowling. On the other hand it wasn’t the same but we’re not in the US are we? Getting home was a little of a challenge. We asked the people in the information center to call us a taxi but I don’t think that happened. They indicated we should wait outside for 10 minutes. Well, we did and nothing. It started to sprinkle a little and we were a little concerned that we would be getting a soaking before a taxi came along. We went out to a larger intersection and were able to flag one down in about 15 minutes. It was tough since we didn’t see many cabs but we got lucky that we were able to find one within a relatively short time. All-in-all, it was another experience to check off the list of things to do while in China.

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A quick change of topic just because I can. Today we went out to the lake to people watch. While we sat and watched a group of 2 boys and 2 girls came by (somewhere between 16 and 20 years old) and sat down near us. While they walked up, they were obviously staring us down. They sat across from us and watched us intently (it was obvious). Soon, one of the young men came over and sat down right next to Warren. His group cheered him as he obviously passed his dare. Soon, the group all moved over to our side and tried to speak a little to us. We were a little lost with some of the phrases they asked but we could make out some of it. Soon, a flower came out and was given to Warren. He tried to turn it down but they insisted he take it. They were howling with delight to watch him squirm (Tammy and I also were enjoying it). So we sat there for another 15 minutes and it was time to go. When we got up, we said our goodbyes and Warren gave the flower to one of the girls. As soon as we started to move away, they got up and headed in another direction. We hear one of the girls shout “I love you” as we move away. Very funny! It’s not often that we get to watch the interaction of the younger kids, especially with our kids. Warren was not quite as amused as Tammy and I but it was pretty darned funny.

Name That Flavor

Another photo and another guessing game. I'll take name that flavor for $500 Alex. This is a box of Oreo cookies we picked up at Wal-Mart here in Suzhou. We know it's Oreos, note the Kraft mark in the upper left hand corner. These were called "Ice Cream Flavored" on the side panel. Our thinking a) it's an Oreo cookie....how bad can that be? B) It's called ice cream flavor...again Oreos & Ice Cream, a good combination. C) It's a green color with little green leaves out of the ice cream dish. I know I'm leading the witness here but what flavor would you guess this to be?

Unless you somehow picked green tea, you are completely wrong (and if you picked green tea you need to get checked out because you are on the verge of a breakdown). That's right folks, green tea ice cream flavored oreos! For whatever reason, I'm thinking mint Oreos, mmmm, mmm. However, once a bite was taken my joy rapidly faded as the realization hit me that I had been fooled again by my Western ideas of food. (Shame on me) I'll call it my "Western goggles" (similar to beer goggles but not exactly the same). I see the packaging and read it to be what I would expect based on my experiences. Instead, I should look at the packaging with great skepticism and determine what the Chinese would eat (WWCE, What Would the Chinese Eat...and the answer is just about anything). If I had thought about it in that manner, I might have not taken the chance to purchase these but you live and learn (or perhaps I'll never learn). So they have fooled me with gum and now cookies, what else do these fiendish people have out there waiting for me (my kingdom for a mint Oreo)? Only time will tell. Oh, and just so you know, Warren really didn't like the flavor either but he ate them (big surprise).